Those People Creatures, take two
I have this compulsive urge (among many other compulsions) to figure myself out; figure out what is going on inside my own head and formulate theories as to why. In order to do so properly one thing, of many, that is necessary is to look outwards at others often and then take the information about what makes other people tick and reprocess it in comparison with my own things.
I made this topic a while back:
It wasn't very popular. Not many seemed to want to reply.
Some various things I was reading last night, about people who tackle the world in similar methods as I do, got me to thinking about that topic, and also about the other side of that sort of conversation:
What is it that draws one to others?
I am pretty clear in my head about what the main thing that makes me feel close with another is, the main theme. What makes me feel really good around another and want to be around them more, makes me feel a real continuous connection. For me it is intellectual stimulation. The ability to have stimulating conversation, and exchange of ideas. And to be able to have this as an ongoing thing that will occur. Not exchange of opinions, but an exchange of meaningful mentally stimulating conversation about any array of subjects.
When I consider all of the people in my life, the most lasting connections are with people who can go on for hours with me providing interesting new information about the world and theories about what it means, and who can be highly engaged and interested in all of the new information and ideas I have since the last conversation.
It is like this whether it is my friend, my child, my relative, my husband. Anyone in my life. The ability to talk with a person about ideas makes me love and feel loved more than anything else. I have always known this.
When this is lacking in my life I feel despondent, depressed, unworthy. Alone.
So I started thinking about how everyone is different. How each person out there, different types of people, need different things. And I came up with this idea that there must, might, be a theme for others, like there is for me.
So I am interested in what makes others feel the most connected and good.
Is it physical connection, being able to touch and hug and cuddle? Is it being able to have deep discussions about emotional issues? Having the same interests that can be shared? Being able to share a fun physical experience, whether that be tossing a ball around or climbing a mountain together.
Is there a continuous theme for what makes you click with others, makes you feel really good about yourself and them, and if so do you know what it is?