those people creatures
In a recent conversation with my guy a person we know was brought up and I told him that I like her but she is very tedious and boring to be around - she annoys me much. He questioned my paradox of liking her but not wanting to be around her/talk to her on the phone and so one. I realised that on the surface it sounded very superficial and mean girlish. I had give some thought to exactly what I meant when I said these things because I knew I didn't mean it in such a shallow way.
I ended up thinking of another idividual I knew some years back who was engaging, interesting to talk with, and, if not funny, certianly amusing, yet at the bottom of it he was a complete creep and I couldn't stand him one bit, I truly ended up loathing him by the end of knowing him. The sort of person that sucks you easily in but eventually leaves you feeling ucky and in need of fresh air.
(So no one worries - I am talking about people I've known in my real life outside the internet.)
This other guy is, to me, a good analogy of how it isn't about surface stuff.
I think it is perfectly possible to care about and like someone who is utterly unineresting to you, as in the case with the first person I mentioned who is a very loving, kind and worthy person, just as it is possible to detest someone who has the abbility to engage you intellectually for their lack of merit when it comes to being an honest human being.
Since I haven't made a real topic in a while, I thought a topic about personal ethics when it comes to how to relate to the people in your life and new people you meet might make for some interesting conversation.
What makes you like people, do you like everyone initially until they prove unworthy of your energy or are you skeptical of humans and need to be won over before you think good of them?
What are your deal breakers and/or makers?
Personally I have a tendancy to like everyone, but I am very wary of becoming intwined with anyone. This is a bit of a problem for me because I would rather have a few deep friendships than many small talk lets go to coffee aquaintances. The problem happens because I end up meeting plenty of people but shying away from letting any of them in to actually become what I consider real friends with. So basically I like everyone but don't trust anyone.
I don't want this topic to be about talking crap about people anyone knows. That is why I left out any details that would show who the people I mentioned are.
On second thought I will give a detail about that creep dude, as my example of a deal breaker - I refused to have anything more to do with him after I found out that when he went on vacation and his dog died because his neighbor failed to feed and water it, he disposed of the animals body by putting it in the bin on trash collection day. I don't even like dogs but that is just wrong on so many levels I couldn't deal with it- everything from failure to properly care for the animal or respect it in death, to a complete disrespect for his neighborhoods well being and the trash collectors health, especially considering it was a large breed dog.
This is already rather long but I don't want to leave it on that last note. hrm hum... I can't think of anything else to say that won't carry on for another five paragraphs...
Post here to tell how you feel, or what you think, about people.
Too, this requires some thought.
This is why we can't have nice things.
Yay! Thought is good.
For me, I really like people (despite the fact that I have said otherwise on multiple, numerous ocassions) and tend to have a strong desire to have good, healthy relationships with people, but I just have a really dificult time relating/feeling comfortable with others.
I have a tendency to acknowledge things that most don't like to acknowledge, ie., negativity in the world, bad feelings, shitty things. A lot of people I've known have avoided discussing issues with me because I'm willing to defend my viewpoint and demonstrate as to why I feel that way, or actually go in depth on things in the world.
I also tend to place a lot of value in friends that I have, and have gone to the extent of neglecting myself to help friends, thus causing people to be really worried for my well being. Example: I lost twenty pounds in three weeks simply because I wasn't eating at all because I was really concerned about some people I knew.
Not to mention,I have a persistent lack of trust in people (mainly due to the large amount of people I've known who have outwardly lied to me more than they've told the truth) and it gives me a constant sense of being 'less than wanted'.
I am ussualy really, really depressed and have a mass tendency to shut myslef away from everyone else, and most of the time they don't give a fuck, so it really just drives things further down.
Not to mention, when I was in public school I would sit in rooms full of people and feel completely alone, never having common interest and being considered "normal enough" or "cool enough", so I've had a hard time finding friends, and since I'm bi I wold have a lot off "fag" comments thrown at me, and when I'd walk home would get glass bottles tossed at me by redneck kids in trucks. Of the five that hit me, two of them had liquid in them and one of them got on me. it was piss.
A lot of my friends end up really hating me, and they never explain as to why, they just... stop being my friend and end up cutting off all contact.
So I like people, and I value them, I just have a really hard time getting along/meeting them. Of the friends I have currently, the number of close, real friends is two. I hardly get to see them, either, so things like Facebook are really good for me. The benefit of all of this shit, though, is that I have a lot of inspiration for my writing due to it, so that's something!
FUBU and KFC have anounced their move to combine forces and fullyn focus on targeting more 'ethnic' audiences. In other news, McDonalds, Starbucks and Wal-Mart have combined to become The United Corporate of America. Moving on...
Three, requires thought.
Mom's gonna fix it all soon.
I'm gonna have to come back to this not because I have to think about it but because I don't know if I can type up all the experiences I've been having with this as of recently. Love the topic though pepper.
Personally I have a tendancy to like everyone, but I am very wary of becoming intwined with anyone
I just realised that what I am essentially admitting with this statement is; yes I think you are great... but that doesn't mean I want anything to do with you.
And it is only hilarious because it is so fucking true to my personallity. Maybe I ought to work on that.
Anyway, I can't wait to hear what those of you who went off to think think about this whole problem/lack of problem of people. Pretty stoked that others are interested in these ideas.
This is such a hard question, but I tend to follow my intuition. I always have a feeling about people, either I like you right away for some mysterious reason or I'm hesitant/suspicious. Superficial, I know. Generally, I instantly like people that are nice. It's easy to be a jerk off, much harder to be kind.
EDIT_
Oh! And funny. You definitely win me over with that.
This isn't a hard question for me. I immediately thought of two people. The first one is patsy, she is the wife of an associate of mine. She is sweet and good as cotton candy and she drives me absolutely batty. She always has some story she has to tell me about her grandchildren, who I may have met twice. I can barely stand to be around her but I care about her because she is the wife of someone I am close to. They were high school sweet hearts and are around 70 now and they are still so very in love. I would never do anything to let her know she annoys me, she's just too good to deserve that.
Next is my friend Dave. He is in jail right now for trying to commit suicide by cop. He is a total train wreck. He's a drunk and a junkie, but he is an amazing tatooist. When we were hanging out he always managed to make it to work not matter how Fucked up he got and someone would always give him a ride. He's one of those guys that everyone loves to be around. He's funny and charming and the life of the party. Under all of that there is a lot of self loathing and douchbaggery. Aside from all that I still love the guy. I know this isn't an example of exactly what you were talking about, but I still feel it applies. David is a person that for all reasons I shouldn't give two shits about. I know he isn't a good person underneath it all, but I still love him and think of him.
Someone I thought of while I was writing is my best friends wife. I fully believe she got herself pregnant on purpose and that is the whole reason they got married. I kind of hate her for that. But in the end she has made my friend very happy and he wouldn't like it if she and I couldn't be friends. I don't pretend to like her, I genuinely do like her, but only because of him. I love her for making him happy in a way I may not have been able to, but I hate her for taking away my chance to find out. There is a lot more to this story, but I think that is all that really applies here.
In general I'm skeptical of all people. I read people well and sometimes that gives me an early impression. In real life I'm not very different than the way y'all know me here. If I don't like someone they are generally aware of that fact.
"I'm glad I live in the GPS era. In a different century, I would've set off to visit the other side of the village and wandered off into the mountains and been eaten by a carnivorous plant. Or discovered the Americas."
-LaJessica
Okay so where to start...
I was kinda talking about how the same type of people end up in the same areas and same circle of friends. My mom laughed and wondered why and I told her it was because we like looking and talking to ourselves all day if we could so we pick friends that reflect those things that we like most about ourselves.
Personally I never had friends that reflected me as a person until maybe around jr. high. So growing up it was easy for me to make friends with people who were different than myself and I think my curiosity also helped with giving most people a chance. My instincts would also kick in, at a very young age I wouldn't even attempt to acknowledge you if I didn't have a good feeling about you. Now I try to give everyone a chance but my guard is always up when doing so. I do this because people have always had the wrong impression of the type of person I was/am or would automatically dislike me over some stupid reason.
So my people creatures:
A couple of my best friends are those people you love to hate but can't help but love. One is technically like family now so she doesn't even count and that's a way longer story than recounting the one with my soul mate/bosom buddy. Farrin is one of those people that I find interesting because I can relate/connect to her on a philosophical/intellectual level but when it comes to the way we treat each other... she's very selfish, inconsiderate, and can be a total bitch. Small example back in high school me and my other friend spent the night at Farrin's, I knocked out on her bed while they were still up talking or doing art I don't even remember, but anyway she woke me up pissed that I fell asleep in her bed and to get out of her bed. That doesn't seem like a big deal but basically just somewhat defines what our relationship is like. If you're not catering to her or doing what she wants she takes personal offense. She's stopped talking to me over stupid shit over the years too...it's like one of those unhealthy boyfriend/girlfriend relationships but you can't seem to stop going back for more abuse. That's me and Farrin, we're horrible for each other as friends but we have that connection that few people have with each other so basically we're still friends.
Shit I forgot I was writing this post. I don't know where I left off so whatever is there will have to do.
I'm afraid my thoughts on this topic would probably offend most of the people here.
Si vis pacem, para bellum
Me too. I like the thread and I am afraid I would kill it.
Mom's gonna fix it all soon.
Definitely. However, I WOULD like to write a 10 page reflective essay.
Si vis pacem, para bellum
every time i see this thread I think....
one-eyed one-horned flyin' purple PEOPLE eater
"I'm glad I live in the GPS era. In a different century, I would've set off to visit the other side of the village and wandered off into the mountains and been eaten by a carnivorous plant. Or discovered the Americas."
-LaJessica
My thread is dead. 
I blame Issac and Madeline.
Sorryyyy. Reply to this so I can remember to post some pot-stirring, controversial opinions later.
Si vis pacem, para bellum
I think you guys have thought about it long enough. 
This is good. I need to think about this a bit.
“if you want to be a bird,” you said once, “with colorful plumage and buoyant trills, you must also be ready for hollow bones."
