Those Bewildering Mysteries Without Answer
That was the best story ever.
The best story ever is the time my sister, who was the manager of the restaurant she worked at, was scolding an employee quietly near the front register and a clumsy waitress came out of the kitchen with too many plates of food, started to trip on her own feet and as she went down she grabbed for anything she could to catch herself.
What she ended up grabbing, in a giant crash that caught the attention of all employees and customers, was my sisters skirt.
Pulled it right off and hit the floor.
My poor sister is standing there one moment on on top of her game, the next momentin front of everyone in her underwear.
The ones with the popcicles on them.
Oh my god.
They're famous!
This is why we can't have nice things.
Does anybody else dream texts? Like, I sometimes dream complete sentences, even poems, but I never remember them in the morning. Sometimes I see them typed or written on paper, and sometimes I can just hear them.
This was actually how I came up with my tumblr username; it was from a dream.
I have/do. I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night and write things down and have no idea what the words mean in the morning.
EXAMPLE: "I can't see how they can put them back to seven and still have a man standing by the end of the week."
This is why we can't have nice things.
That's poetic.
But what does it mean??
This is why we can't have nice things.
I get it. I'm not going to just tell you the answer though because you won't learn that way.
I used to see words in my imagination, that's the best way to describe it. They'd float by and they were white and sometimes they looked 3D. It doesn't really happen anymore though.
Also, sometimes when i'm just barely falling asleep, strange and surreal phrases will float through my head. Like "Purple elephants can only exist when pyramids are on dolphin's backs" or something and i'd be like "Wow, that makes perfect sense. What an epiphany." and it seems really profound but then i wake up and it makes no sense.
Our brains sneak out at night and misbehave when we go to sleep.
That's poetic.
7 days in a week.
Back again to the same grind, on Monday. Like Sisyphus.
That's what I decipher.
Who thought it would be a good idea to put a single pair of slipper and a single towel in a double room?
You're supposed to ring the front desk and ask for more, silly.
This is why we can't have nice things.
Well, I didn't know.
He booked the room for one, didn't he?
This is why we can't have nice things.
No, it was a double room.
What Hotels come with slippers?
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
Oh, jesus, never mind.
This is why we can't have nice things.
fancypants ones.
I understand now what you asked. There was no booking, we just went there and said we want a double room. For, obviously, two people.
When i went to Chicago, we stayed at Palmer House hotel on the 17th floor in an executive suite, which was really nice. There was two bathrooms and they brought us an extra bed right away and the windows opened, which is really cool when you're that high up.
Want to know what happens when you throw a donut out a 17 story window?
Yes.
In England I stayed in a double room with an extra convertible couch. The maids must have been puzzled every day to see that only half the bed had been slept in.
It gets swept up right away.
Out of the air?
No silly, when it hits the sidewalk across the street. We dropped a lime wedge too but i don't know what happened to it.
That would've been a cooler story if you told us the donit got swept out of the air as soon as you cast it out, so you dropped another and another and another and they all got swept out every time, and then you dropped a dozen donits out all at once and twelve birds immediately swooped by and snatched them out. But then you realized you had been throwing chocolate dozens just as a flock of dead birds rained down upon the street below you. That would have been a terrible, terrible story.
I doubt anything puzzles them anymore, they must've seen it all.
hahahhahaha I have, had that happen in the past.
The above story. I must say. I have always been grateful to the fates that it was a pretty pair of my underwear and not a that other time of the month we shall not speak of pair, even though no one knew they were mine.
I have other underwear mishap stories, but I probably shouldn't tell them as they are other peoples stories.