Things that give you malicious joy
Seeing a For Rent sign once again in front of that place you used to live with the total Slumlord owner.
Knowing that one chick that did her best to be annoyingly in love with your boyfriend is still overweight and still single.
I try to be good about not doing this, but for a few recents:
getting a text from ex complaining about current girlfriend and not replying and deleting text conversation.
get friend request from someone I hated in high school, let them rot forever in the limbo of friend requests.
drunk girl cut in front of me in the bathroom at a bar, notice she leaves with toilet paper caught on her shoe
“if you want to be a bird,” you said once, “with colorful plumage and buoyant trills, you must also be ready for hollow bones."
Anything that makes video game nerds rage hard.
Actionized sequels/reboots, shitty ports, on-disc DLC, and Call of Duty breaking sales records every year.
I try not to be resentful or mean either. Sometimes these little things come to attention and that mean joy just wells up in you and you can't help it, however.
Seeing that the guy who stood me up for a date a month ago just broke up with his girlfriend of a year and a half and he's completely depressed about it...he even wrote on AMC's (the television channel) about it.*
*I didn't know she existed, but I'm so gloriously happy he's unhappy.
I heard my crazy ex was arrested and is required to go through rehab again. I can't help but think he will probably lose the place he's staying (it's somewhere in my neighborhood - I heard it was only 2 blocks away). There would be some serious malicious joy if I knew I didn't have to constantly look over my shoulder all the time.
Also, I get a certain amount of malicious joy knowing that our "mutual" friend that swore he KNEW me and would therefore never believe any of my ex's lies about me (then blocked me on fb out of the blue one day) is one of my ex's only friends in the city. That job is hell on earth.
But I'm also sad about it, because he's a good kid. He has a good heart. Or at least I hope he still does.
Mom's gonna fix it all soon.
When my crush has only dated 3 chicks for the past 4 years (while we were romantically but platonically involved), neither of which for more than a couple of months, two of which were called Irina.
When I get the highest grades, that is, most of the time.
When my sister says something stupid and I correct her in front of my family.
oh hell yes.
Seeing people that feel superior to others be put in their place.
When my boss is caught out telling a lie.
oh hell yes.
It has been 12 years, but THANK YOU facebook, I got a good unexpected giggle out of learning that. (I'm a horrible person)
I earn more money than nearly all of friends...but I hate my job.
Oh boy, I'm not even going to pretend I'm not the kind of person that LOVES this stuff!
Okay, when an ex of mine followed my new boyfriend on Twitter because he's a fan of his books then realised he was my boyfriend and disappeared, that was fun! He sent me pictures of his new girlfriend after we broke up to upset me. I win! I won the break up!
When this girl who bitches about me to everyone has status updates about how much her life sucks.
Also when other people are bitching about that girl to me and I do not bitch back but say positive things, making her look even more like a big fat prick who just hates on someone really nice.
When a person who's always blathering on about how they hate grammatical errors makes a grammatical error and I can say, "You're not nauseous, you're nauseated!" or perhaps I might even say nothing and just feel content knowing I'm a much better person.
When i argue with someone who comes across as over-emotional and out of control so i say ridiculous things or make crazy accusations so they end up arguing about them instead and not about what we were originally arguing about. It even works on my brother and he's the king of confrontation.
There was this girl I was once obsessed with and she always led me on then rejected me multiple times. I recently accepted her friend request on facebook. And holy cow she is fugly looking now. It may be shallow, but I'm just really glad I didn't end up with that. Plus she was a bit crazy and asked me to marry her when I was engaged to my wife (in front of my wife).
“The man of knowledge must be able not only to love his enemies but also to hate his friends.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche
When the guy from high school who posted an embarrassing video of me on YouTube (still up btw) posted on Facebook about how he was sad that his cat died, it didn't give me joy, but all I could think was, "Good. You're an ass. You deserve it."
I'm trying to come up with something for this thread but I just can't think of anything, at least not in my real, personal life.
The closest I can get is how I like it whenever everyone on Jersey Shore isolates The Situation for being an asshole. He's a creepy douche and he's just askin' for it.
Thank you for this thread, Pepper.
It has led me to a rather life-altering epiphany about why so so many people I had called "friends" at one time took malicious joy in watching me suffer at the hands of my former partner. What a mind fuck of a day, but I think I have finally come up with a valid alternative to "they were just evil", which has been fucking me up for the past few years because I know whey weren't/ aren't.
Mom's gonna fix it all soon.
I'm here to help.
P.K. Subban getting hurt.
I shouldn't take joy in this, but I take a sort of strange ironic pleasure nonetheless...
Knowing that while her fiancé has to actively make a conscious effort to please her because their personalities clash so much, it comes easily to us. They get along when they're together, because it's when they're both on vacation, but me? I see her every day, when she's stressed. When life is dumping on her. And we still do great. We don't clash like two angry rams. No, I don't have hopes of being with her. I can move on, live my life. But I'll be around.
The Situation looks like popeye
Man is the cruelest animal.
Oh, hello.
_
I'm with you, Alecia. He's a creep, and an ass.
I don't know who you are, but you're making one hell of a comeback.
“if you want to be a bird,” you said once, “with colorful plumage and buoyant trills, you must also be ready for hollow bones."
I don't know who you are, but you're making one hell of a comeback.
KA-POW
Man is the cruelest animal.
Anytime my parents ask me to borrow money.
Anytime my little sister drives my grandfather insane by attempting to bring another black boyfriend to Thanksgiving dinner or shows up at Christmas pregnant. (unfortunately no double whammy, white guy knocked her up)
Watching my girlfriend sqeemishly cringe as I force her to sit with me and watch the latest Rob Zombie movie. (in between releases I rent various installments of Alien Autopsy, Faces of Death or I just re-rent Gummo for the thirty third time)
Getting fired from my job for showing up obviously high out of my mind. Mainly that one because it's funny to see just how angry a manager gets when I've done this. It's like they came home to catch me inside thier home fucking whatever domesticated animal they have adopted as a pet. Parrot would be the most frightening and justifyably angering scenario that comes to mind. although this particular malicious joy comes to me in hindsight it's kind of awkard in the moment. I'm now self-employed by the way.
I don't know who you are, but you're making one hell of a comeback.
She's legit.
Anytime my little sister drives my grandfather insane by attempting to bring another black boyfriend to Thanksgiving dinner or shows up at Christmas pregnant. (unfortunately no double whammy, white guy knocked her up)
Watching my girlfriend sqeemishly cringe as I force her to sit with me and watch the latest Rob Zombie movie. (in between releases I rent various installments of Alien Autopsy, Faces of Death or I just re-rent Gummo for the thirty third time)
Getting fired from my job for showing up obviously high out of my mind. Mainly that one because it's funny to see just how angry a manager gets when I've done this. It's like they came home to catch me inside thier home fucking whatever domesticated animal they have adopted as a pet. Parrot would be the most frightening and justifyably angering scenario that comes to mind. although this particular malicious joy comes to me in hindsight it's kind of awkard in the moment. I'm now self-employed by the way.
those movies are weeeeak
“if you want to be a bird,” you said once, “with colorful plumage and buoyant trills, you must also be ready for hollow bones."
Except for Gummo. That movie is awesoooommmmme.
When the guy I love can't have a functional relationship. I'm bitter, but fuck it.
You need to realise you are never going to not love him, and that that is okay. Once you do that, you will be able to realise that doesn't mean you have to spend your life in love with him and that you can give yourself permission to move on.
It is normal. It happens to everyone.
Eventually he won't rule your thoughts, or own your heart. He will just be a dull ache you are reminded of at odd moments.
Yup.
My ex-boyfriend left me for a girl named Caitlin. It gave me unquantifiable pleasure when I found out he cheated on her too.
You may even come to appreciate those dull achy moments eventually, as a glance back at a person you once were, and the person he helped oomf you into becoming.
That is what falling in love and accepting the loss of love does. It changes you. But just as love is a hurtle and choice that you must make for it to be real (all the feelings leading up to it are just romance; love itself it a solid permanent choice that is consciously made) so is the act of letting it change you for the better a choice. It will change you, it is up to you how and why.
This. Thank you, I think you're the only one who thinks that. Besides me, that is. I still hope that maybe one day in the not so immediate future we can be together. It may be stupid, but I'd rather hold on to that.
That is what falling in love and accepting the loss of love does. It changes you. But just as love is a hurtle and choice that you must make for it to be real (all the feelings leading up to it are just romance; love itself it a solid permanent choice that is consciously made) so is the act of letting it change you for the better a choice. It will change you, it is up to you how and why.
It changed me twice. He was the only guy I ever liked who returned my feelings, he helped me trust people again (after failing at teenage love). And then I did some bad things, he did some bad things and it pretty much blew off. Next change: get back to not trusting people. I'm recovering from that, because I can't live without trusting anyone at least partially, but it's not easy. And as cheesy as it may sound, your words help me so much right now, you have no idea. Thank you.
If you have to hold on to that right now that is what you have to do.
I suspect everyone who has ever loved, even once they have moved on, still harbors secret visions of what could have been though. Even if they are completely illogical to the state of the life that they have made for themselves. Those achy moments. I think moving on happens when you realise you are ready to let go of that ever being a truth for you, and just allow it to be a secret thought that comes in a wave here or there but has no claim on your real life.
That is ok.
My words are cheesy, and sound that way too.
But they are my actual beliefs on love, based on the people who have taught me what love is and what it is to love. Still being taught. That part keeps going forever.
This. Thank you, I think you're the only one who thinks that. Besides me, that is. I still hope that maybe one day in the not so immediate future we can be together. It may be stupid, but I'd rather hold on to that.
I've also come to this conclusion within the past week. Like, this exact conclusion. Including Irina's hold on hope.
I think moving on happens when you realise you are ready to let go of that ever being a truth for you, and just allow it to be a secret thought that comes in a wave here or there but has no claim on your real life.
In all seriousness, this is probably one of the wisest things I've ever read.
I agree with Pepper too. I meant to say though, Irina, that I wasn't criticising you before. I was trying to be like, "You don't need to care, you're really smart!" Pepper's advice is better though!
dumb sorority girl who used to call in sick almost every day in work/study and I'd do double work announced pregnancy and engagement on the same day
“if you want to be a bird,” you said once, “with colorful plumage and buoyant trills, you must also be ready for hollow bones."
I get malicious joy out of I Told You So Moments. I try not to but it infuriates me that people ask for advice don't take it and the thing that I warn them of ends up happening. I kind of was glad when my best friend ended up cheating on my other best friend with the guy that I told her to stay away from. It sucked, I was sad, upset for both of them but I was happy that I was no longer defending her and that I wasn't there to witness the mess she made.
I enjoy when people are called out on their bullshit.
I was happy to get laid off along with 300 other people including the supervisors that had no fucking idea what they were doing. Knowing how things were being ran it was quite a justifiable lay off.
Finding out your beloved family members abusive ex was thrown in jail on your birthday again.