The Chuck Chicks Thread

Well, yeah, with childbirth, assuming all goes well, you have something great at the end of it all.

But, keep in mind the pain of childbirth can go on for hours and hours and hours. Not to mention possibly having to have an episiotomy, c-section, etc etc. And the emotional upheaval of wondering if your child will be healthy? And having a living being who for nine months was a part of you suddenly becoming its own living independent entity? That's intense stuff, I don't think it's just about the pain.

Being kicked in the balls only hurts for a minute or so, yes? And despite the extreme discomfort, in the end, it probably just serves as a reminder you are alive. I am sure it is hardly an emotional trauma or life-changing experience. I mean it's not like you've just added another person to the world.

So. My most humble opinion.

I still want to know what people think of eyebrow-waxing.

Jordie, I don't need to get punched in the balls to know that I'm alive.

But I'm not trying to downgrade childbirth. Guys are wusses in the grand scheme of things.

i have my eyebrows waxed once a month...but i have to pluck stray hairs every once in a while. torturous at first, but hideous if left to their own devices. overall, i'd say necessary in my case.

men may not be able to take pain but damned if they can't dish it out

Except for emotional and mental torment, women sort of win on that front too. But men invented nuclear weapons so we win the dumbass contest.

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Jordie [/i]
[B]And having a living being who for nine months was a part of you suddenly becoming its own living independent entity?[/B][/QUOTE]I don't think "independent" is the right word (yeah, I know "It's just the first word that comes to mind...") ...but I know what you mean.

When you say you'd trade it for 20 hours of labor, do you mean you'd rather give birth than take a shot to the sack?

Devil's Advocate enters stage left...

As skeptics we have a duty to hold common beliefs up to consideration and careful scrutiny. Although many people, normally women or so-called "sensitive" men i.e. wimps who use underhanded tactics like "listening to their partners" to get laid, claim that childbirth is painful, hard proof is lacking...

In fact, in all cases claims of childbirth being painful can be traced back to anecdotal evidence or unconfirmed eye witness reports, and, as skeptics, we simply cannot allow this sort of evidence to substitute for hard facts...

Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence, and clearly this is a case in point. Some theorize that as newborns receive great attention, some women will strive through underhanded means, using feminine wiles, to compete. Hence we have a simple and mundane explanation for the noises, claims of pain, shouts, contorted expressions and other such "signs" of pain that some women allegedly make while giving birth. Some women even claim that sweating, of all things, is a sign of pain. If we apply Occam's razor to this "phenomena" then we have a perfectly rational explanation (feminine trickery) without resorting to new claims (the alleged "pain")...

When consulting with qualified experts, just as we'd expect, we find skepticism on this issue. Some time ago, I spoke to Gus Patelli, former high school football coach, clearly a recognized expert on pain of all sorts. "Nah, Don't listen to women when they complain about childbirth," he said. "Its nothing. IN FACT, IT HURTS WORSE TO GET KICKED IN THE BALLS. Women don't know how good they have it." Not only are his professional credentials impeccable, his team having often won the regional championships, let me also point out that this man is, in fact, a member of MENSUH, a fellow in the Order of the Hot Dog and hence uniquely qualified to speak on the subject of fringe claims...

Having exhausted their meager store of direct evidence, proponents of the so-called "childbirth is painful" notion are soon quick to point to tangential fact with little direct relevance. For instance, they often point out that the medical profession dispenses large amounts of painkillers to women in childbirth each year. Clearly, if they consider this "proof," they are grasping at straws. Not only is it lacking a direct cause and effect correlation to the claim, its also true that in many cases its the very same women who take these painkillers who then turn around and claim to be in the most pain! The illogic is obvious. As an amateur gynecologist myself, and a survivor of said kicked-in-the-balls phenomenon, I've seen just how tough the streets can be. Let me point out to sheltered academics that a glue-sniffing, single-mother, junkie, biker-chick, dope-fiend will tell all sorts of lies on the off chance that she may be able to receive controlled substances from some dewy eyed bleeding heart liberal with a mishandled prescription pad and a poorly sharpened pencil stub...

I know this. I'm a pussy fiend. I've seen these things. And let me remind these same naive people of just how often it is that a cash-stricken hospital, low on operating funds, will suddenly "remember" that child birth is painful and then, quite conveniently, "remember" that the patient will "need" an expensive operation called a Cesarean section, billing them accordingly, of course! The world can be a hard place and it pays to be skeptical...

Finally, although some will argue that I don't know what I'm talking about, never having been through childbirth myself, let me clearly point out that not only is this an obvious obfuscationist tactic, it is also completely irrelevant. After all, as one of my dear friends is fond of pointing out, "The responsibility of proof lies with the believer." I can hear the emotion-laden shouts of angered feminist extremists already. "Oh yeah, Asshole," they will surely cry, "That's the stupidest thing I've heard? How would you like to have a bowling ball pushed down the middle of your dick?! Don't you think that would hurt?" I've heard this before and it's hardly scientific. Let me remind such people, I am a skeptic. I did not enter this field to win popularity contests. I entered it to find the truth. Come to me when you have one solid piece of real proof, not mere hollow, tangential analogies or flimsy appeals to emotion...

And one must remember, it's the women's fault that childbirth is painful in the first place. It's in the Bible!

Women are supposed to have higher pain tolerances because of having to go through labor. My mother went through two natural (no drugs) childbirths and I still consider her a wuss when it comes to pain. I'll just bump into her by accident and she'll exclaim, "Ow! I'm going to have a bruise there!" I mean, you could have one baby per year I think, at least they don't recommend you try and have them faster. And what woman in their right mind would do that. On the other hand, men are at risk at taking a shot to the nuts on a daily basis. The need is clearly greater when it comes to men.

it has been proven that women, on average, have a higher threshold and tolerance for pain than men. why? because they must survive childbirth.

before modern medicine, a significant percentage of women died, ROUTINELY, along with their babies, due to the trauma and complications of childbirth.

women can suffer hemorrages, prolapsed uterus, gestational diabetes, preeclampsia (dangerously high blood pressure due to pregnancy), among other conditions, during pregnancy and childbirth.

women often need episiotomies to accomodate the baby's head. this is a cut made *WITH SCISSORS* in the membrane at the bottom of the opening of the vaginal wall, to make the vagina wider to accomodate the baby. i don't know if *you've* ever *cut your balls open* to take something out, but i would imagine it wouldn't feel too good.

knox, i wasn't referring to your nuts being the size of watermelons (although you are a typical male for thinking so). i was referring to a baby being the size of a watermelon. In addition to uterine contractions (essentially a huge cramp in a muscle that, through expansion during the pregnancy, now consumes most of the space in the woman's abdomen, so it feels essentially like repeatedly being run over by a truck), women's pelvises actually open up, sometimes tearing cartilage, sometimes breaking, to let the baby through. my mother's tailbone was broken giving birth to both me and my younger sister--this is in *addition* to labor pains.

if a woman is in labor and the fetus shows signs of distress, doctors will do an emergency C section. This is often done without any more anesthetic than an epidural. in this procedure, the surgeons dissect through fat, muscle, and other surface structures to get to the uterus, retract the surrounding tissues, and *pull the uterus out of the woman's body* in order to make an incision and bring the baby out. The uterus, surrounding structures, muscle and skin above are then suctured/stapled. the pain after this procedure is often described as just as excruciating as labor in the first place.

i'd like to see a kick in the nuts do that.

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by grade 5 dropout [/i]
[B]When you say you'd trade it for 20 hours of labor, do you mean you'd rather give birth than take a shot to the sack? [/B][/QUOTE]
No, I am saying quite the opposite.

(There. Edited the original post for clarity.)

Okay, good. I knew you were smarter than that.

*wipes sweat from brow, thankful I'm a he*
though now that I've started thinking about it, wouldn't 20 hours of being kicked in the nuts be comparable to 20 hours of labour..?

That's one for the ages, Loki.

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by lokigod [/i]
[B]*wipes sweat from brow, thankful I'm a he*
though now that I've started thinking about it, wouldn't 20 hours of being kicked in the nuts be comparable to 20 hours of labour..? [/B][/QUOTE]

Actually if you want to get scientific, it would be like getting kicked in the nuts intermittantly like every three minutes and faster as contractions came closer. Just think back to the most constipated shit you've ever taken after being backed up for days... like in "Choke"... and think of what a proud father you were to your newborn brown baby boy...

I was just reading that article that Brock posted, and now I am really curious as to what an "amateur gynocologist" is.

An amateur gynocologist is what I tell 14 year old girls I am to lure them to my basement.

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by jane s. [/i]
[B]I was just reading that article that Brock posted, and now I am really curious as to what an "amateur gynocologist" is. [/B][/QUOTE]

I forget but I used to listen to this radio show a few years back and the host called himself an amateur gynecologist and cunning linguist... both word plays on sexual slang... and probably sounds better than pussy fiend... although on second thought, I think I said that too... oh well...

"Young women interested in bathing with Jesus can now have their dream come true. Not only will you make a new friend, but you will be supporting good hygiene and benefiting the environment by conserving water. There are no strings attached except that a picture of us, suitable for family viewing, will be taken and placed on this web site as a lasting tribute to our determined efforts at cleanliness."

[img]http://www.gsweater.net/images/comedy/lord.gif[/img]

My name is legally-Jesus Christ. Come play in the water with me. Young women only. Free pair of WWJD panites included in Jesus fun bathtime pack!

[img]http://www.gsweater.net/images/comedy/wwjd.gif[/img]

Above from: [img]http://www.datejesus.com/images/jesustop.gif[/img]

Also pregnancy is no walk in the park. Think morning sickness, gestational diabetes, bed rest, or a breech baby jammed against your lungs making it so you can't even breathe. Or, being kicked in the bladder by your baby. Not to mention being constantly worried about the baby's condition.

A good friend of mine has been trying to get pregnant and she has had three miscarriages in the process. In addition to the pain involved it has been emotional turmoil. (She is finally pregnant, by the way, it's been 4 months and so she finally feels "safe")

i know kitty, babies arent the sizes of waermellons

Brock. You rock still.

[img]http://www.datejesus.com/card/jesuscard1.gif[/img]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Brock Landers [/i]
[B] Not only will you make a new friend, but you will be supporting good hygiene and benefiting the environment by conserving water.

My name is legally-Jesus Christ. Come play in the water with me. Young women only. Free pair of WWJD panites included in Jesus fun bathtime pack!

[img]http://www.gsweater.net/images/comedy/wwjd.gif[/img]

Above from: [img]http://www.datejesus.com/images/jesustop.gif[/img] [/B][/QUOTE]

Funny, funny, funny!

Has anyone heard the Phranc version of this song (The jewish lesbian folksinger)? I thought that was the funniest thing I'd ever heard until that Brock post.

I Enjoy Being a Girl

I'm a girl, and by me that's only great!
I am proud that my silhouette is curvy,
That I walk with a sweet and girlish gait
With my hips kind of swivelly and swervy.

I adore being dressed in something frilly
When my date comes to get me at my place.
Out I go with my Joe or John or Billy,
Like a filly who is ready for the race!

When I have a brand new hairdo
With my eyelashes all in curl,
I float as the clouds on air do,
I enjoy being a girl!

When men say I'm cute and funny
And my teeth aren't teeth, but pearl,
I just lap it up like honey
I enjoy being a girl!

I flip when a fellow sends me flowers,
I drool over dresses made of lace,
I talk on the telephone for hours
With a pound and a half of cream upon my face!

I'm strictly a female female
And my future I hope will be
In the home of a brave and free male
Who'll enjoy being a guy having a girl... like... me.

When men say I'm sweet as candy
As around in a dance we whirl,
It goes to my head like brandy,
I enjoy being a girl!

When someone with eyes that smoulder
Says he loves ev'ry silken curl
That falls on my iv'ry shoulder,
I enjoy being a girl!

When I hear the compliment'ry whistle
That greets my bikini by the sea,
I turn and I glower and I bristle,
But I happy to know the whistle's meant for me!

I'm strictly a female female
And my future I hope will be
In the home of a brave and free male
Who'll enjoy being a guy having a girl... like... me.

I, my little mirka, have seen Phranc in concert.

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Tuffy the Dump Truck [/i]
[B]Chicks talk weird when they're alone. Don't they? [/B][/QUOTE]

No.

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by insomnomaniac [/i]
[B]it has been proven that women, on average, have a higher threshold and tolerance for pain than men. why? because they must survive childbirth.

before modern medicine, a significant percentage of women died, ROUTINELY, along with their babies, due to the trauma and complications of childbirth.

women can suffer hemorrages, prolapsed uterus, gestational diabetes, preeclampsia (dangerously high blood pressure due to pregnancy), among other conditions, during pregnancy and childbirth.

women often need episiotomies to accomodate the baby's head. this is a cut made *WITH SCISSORS* in the membrane at the bottom of the opening of the vaginal wall, to make the vagina wider to accomodate the baby. i don't know if *you've* ever *cut your balls open* to take something out, but i would imagine it wouldn't feel too good.

knox, i wasn't referring to your nuts being the size of watermelons (although you are a typical male for thinking so). i was referring to a baby being the size of a watermelon. In addition to uterine contractions (essentially a huge cramp in a muscle that, through expansion during the pregnancy, now consumes most of the space in the woman's abdomen, so it feels essentially like repeatedly being run over by a truck), women's pelvises actually open up, sometimes tearing cartilage, sometimes breaking, to let the baby through. my mother's tailbone was broken giving birth to both me and my younger sister--this is in *addition* to labor pains.

if a woman is in labor and the fetus shows signs of distress, doctors will do an emergency C section. This is often done without any more anesthetic than an epidural. in this procedure, the surgeons dissect through fat, muscle, and other surface structures to get to the uterus, retract the surrounding tissues, and *pull the uterus out of the woman's body* in order to make an incision and bring the baby out. The uterus, surrounding structures, muscle and skin above are then suctured/stapled. the pain after this procedure is often described as just as excruciating as labor in the first place.

i'd like to see a kick in the nuts do that. [/B][/QUOTE]

I'm not sure if there's a correlation between your ability to tolerate pain and your ability to survive a painful ordeal. You said yourself that women used to routinely die from giving birth. So what has changed? Are women surviving labor because of doctors doping them up?

The Chinese believe that a major chi channel runs through the testicles, and a shot to the cojones will affect the liver and I think maybe another organ or two. Supposedly, a hard enough shot to the sack can be lethal. You know that sick feeling you get after you get whacked in the balls? That's your blood pressure dropping. Low enough blood pressure means not enough blood getting to vital organs.

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by zeropointzero [/i]
[B]I'm not sure if there's a correlation between your ability to tolerate pain and your ability to survive a painful ordeal. You said yourself that women used to routinely die from giving birth. So what has changed? Are women surviving labor because of doctors doping them up?[/B][/QUOTE]

There's actually been advances in areas [i]other[/i] than pain-killers in the past hundred years, I hear.

[QUOTE][B]The Chinese believe that a major chi channel runs through the testicles, and a shot to the cojones will affect the liver and I think maybe another organ or two. Supposedly, a hard enough shot to the sack can be lethal. You know that sick feeling you get after you get whacked in the balls? That's your blood pressure dropping. Low enough blood pressure means not enough blood getting to vital organs. [/B][/QUOTE]

I guess if the kick was hard enough it might mulch your insides around some. Rupture your spleen or something.

All this talk of shots-to-the-nads has given me sympathy pains.

Can we talk about PMS and childbirth instead? I can't as easily empathise with those, so it's safer for my sanity.

a hard enough kick can be lethal or so im told

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Rohan [/i]
[B]There's actually been advances in areas [i]other[/i] than pain-killers in the past hundred years, I hear.
[/B][/QUOTE]

Well, duh! My point was about insomniacmaniac equating one's tolerance to pain with their ability to survive a painful ordeal. If women now survive labor because of modern science, and if your ability to survive labor is relative to your ability to tolerate pain, then painkillers would help you survive labor. I would think it was the [i]other[/i] advances in science that are helping women survive labor.

I'm not even sure how one would quantify pain tolerance. I'm not saying one sex inherently has a higher pain tolerance than the other. I'm saying the reasoning behind any such statement saying otherwise would be silly, ie. women have to survive labor, men are at risk at taking shots to the jewels.

We're also at risk of being put through the current primary treatment of prostate cancer. *shudder*

... and nobody said they [i]had[/i] to survive childbearing, it's just preferable in most cases.

What happens when women have to take a piss or shit during childbirth?

I'm sure that's not really crossing their mind at the time.

yeah but if it's twenty hours, you'd figure it'd have to happen sometime or another

Any piss or shit is just neatly and competently wiped away. The thing is there usually isn't very much as once labor starts all they give the woman are ice chips to eat or drink in case she needs surgery. The piss and shit are not a big deal. Theres also lots of blood, some of it viscous and clotted.

Delicious, really

Don't they let you keep the placenta? I hear it has all sorts of uses. Some consider it a delicacy.

"Strong coffee may improve a woman's tolerance to pain, according to a new study in London. Researchers found that women asked to hold their arms in buckets of ice water could do so longer, with less discomfort, after taking the equivalent of a double espresso. The caffeine did not affect pain tolerance among men. The pain-killing effect of the caffeine in women was temporary, but researchers say it would last long enough to make the pain of something like leg-waxing more bearable."

[url=http://www.itweb.co.za/sections/lifestyle/2002/0209261058.asp]Source[/url]

And [url=http://abcnews.go.com/sections/scitech/DyeHard/dyehard030417.html]some interesting information about the pain threshold debate[/url]

Hey cool, a girls board..finally I was begining to feel like a outkast with all these manly men posting lol if you'd like get in touch with me..i think this thing posts my s/n andsuch..rubylicious..thanks for mentioning it lol iwas a lil iffy about it..but thanks

mentioning what?

by the way there are alot of female chuck fans

Ruby, I'm so jealous of your avatar. In a nice way.

look. i was never saying that getting kicked in the nuts doesn't hurt at all. i was just saying, and i'll say again, that i cannot fucking believe anyone is still arguing that getting kicked in the balls is anywhere NEAR as painful as childbirth. if you want to talk about a male experience that approaches childbirth, it would be passing a kidney stone.

having no external genitalia, i can only imagine what being struck in an organ would feel like, since i've never been like, kicked in the pancreas or anything. but still. i find it incomprehensible that you'd say that getting kicked in the nuts is anywhere even close to childbirth. i don't know if this is a male ego thing, because there are lots and lots and lots of experiences men CAN have that are more comparable, such as the aforementioned kidney stone example.

see thign is the pain you feel kitty, is neither dull nor sharp. its undescribable, infact its a painful feeling all on its own, meaning not another body part on you can feel that same solitaire pain your nads feel.
a whole being stretched open, im sure it hurts but both men and women have holes that can be stretched open. but only men have the nads, only the testicles can feel that extreme pain that no other body part can feel.

i reiterate:

i never said being kicked in the nuts was NOT painful. i was saying it is not AS painful as giving birth. that's not gonna change.

i still disagree!!!! lol and im not syaing that giving birth isnt painful, but getting kicked hard in the nads measures up to giving birth

no it doesn't. plain and simple. and you are totally ignorant for saying so. the end.

nuh-uh!!
you compared giving birth to passing a stone for guys. well there ya go, we can experience the pain of a hole being stretched much larger than meant to be, just like you women. but what you will never understand is the pain of being kicked in the nuts

kitty have you even given birth?

it's not just a hole being stretched, dumbass. maybe if you thought about it for half a second you'd realize. or you could just read the fucking thread, including what has been posted about the process of childbirth, that might be easier.

and no, i've never given birth, but the difference between you and me is, i someday will. or even could. sorry if you're insecure about your utter uselessness in the human reproductive cycle, especially given the advent of modern technologies, but you're just plain wrong and that's it.