The Chuck Chicks Thread

[QUOTE=lupus]Ok, ladies: has anyone of you tried the Johnson & Johnson Hair Minimising Body Lotion? It supposedly stunts hair growth or whatever and you don't have to wax/shave as often as you used to. Does it work?[/QUOTE]

Hair minimizing lotion is too complicated for me. I didn't understand how to use it. Do you apply it only when you have shaved? Do you have to put it on everyday for the 8 weeks it takes to show results? Does applying more make it work faster? After 8 weeks, will your legs be the most minimized they will ever get? If so, do you then have to continue using it every day in order to maintain that low level of hair? Does it go into your hair follicles? Does it only minimize new hairs that will grow or does it somehow contain a dipilatory that will gradually dissolve the hair that's already there? What if you get some on your arms?

[QUOTE=twomonkeysayoyo]Who wants other guys to know their scrotum is shaved? That isn't something you would brag about. "Hey, y'all! My Sack is like, shit, it's like glove leather! You ought to feel it!" Now if some chick is talking it up, well I'm all for it.[/QUOTE]

So, in line with that logic, then, in fact, all women are really bi?

I mean, if it's gay to talk about scrotum hair removal, as if I'd ever shave my balls, no fucking way, but if that's gay, then all the chicks who love to have other girls feel their landing strips and talk about shaving and hair removal, well, those chicks are lesbifriends?

[QUOTE=Brock Landers]So, in line with that logic, then, in fact, all women are really bi?

I mean, if it's gay to talk about scrotum hair removal, as if I'd ever shave my balls, no fucking way, but if that's gay, then all the chicks who love to have other girls feel their landing strips and talk about shaving and hair removal, well, those chicks are lesbifriends?[/QUOTE]

All men are really just inverted women, bioligically. And I would surely love it if chicks were feeling my shaved scrotum. I think it just means that people don't want GUYS touching their shaved parts. Its just exclusive, though not sex based. Like male pattern balding.

[QUOTE=twomonkeysayoyo]All men are really just inverted women, bioligically. And I would surely love it if chicks were feeling my shaved scrotum. I think it just means that people don't want GUYS touching their shaved parts. Its just exclusive, though not sex based. Like male pattern balding.[/QUOTE]

I don't get balding dudes either. All this hair on their backs and chests and no hair on top. Me, I got no chest hair and thick lustrous locks...

[QUOTE=Brock Landers]I don't get balding dudes either. All this hair on their backs and chests and no hair on top. Me, I got no chest hair and thick lustrous locks...[/QUOTE]
[bitter]Fuck your thick lustrous locks.[/bitter]

Yeah, sometimes I wish I had a really hairy body and then I'm like NAWWWWW...

I have Satan's Body Hair.

[QUOTE=twomonkeysayoyo]I have Satan's Body Hair.[/QUOTE]

Sell on ebay for gazillians..

[QUOTE=Maddetchke Malorkus]Sell on ebay for gazillians..[/QUOTE]
No, I meant growing on me. Like the big, red, goat legged visions of Satan. As in those strange little tufts under the nippes, a nice spread across the chest, not too thick, whispy and down the abs. It does not exist (imasen) on the upper arms or back. Selling it on ebay would be nice, but it would have to, y'know, come with me.

[QUOTE=twomonkeysayoyo]No, I meant growing on me. Like the big, red, goat legged visions of Satan. As in those strange little tufts under the nippes, a nice spread across the chest, not too thick, whispy and down the abs. It does not exist (imasen) on the upper arms or back. Selling it on ebay would be nice, but it would have to, y'know, come with me.[/QUOTE]

you got me thinking of that dude in the blair witch with the wierd patches of hair on his chest, like in grown hair fromhis beard except on his chest... some kind of wierd configuration of mismatched growth...

[QUOTE=Brock Landers]you got me thinking of that dude in the blair witch with the wierd patches of hair on his chest, like in grown hair fromhis beard except on his chest... some kind of wierd configuration of mismatched growth...[/QUOTE]

No its even.
Imagine a tall, proud, naked Devil. Red, with goats legs, and horns. Dark, sinister, strong, charismatic. Scary good looking like a moorish warrior.

Like this?

[IMG]http://www.synergizedsolutions.com/simpsons/pictures/others/flanders_devil.gif[/IMG]

[QUOTE=twomonkeysayoyo]No its even.
Imagine a tall, proud, naked Devil. Red, with goats legs, and horns. Dark, sinister, strong, charismatic. Scary good looking like a moorish warrior.[/QUOTE]

uhm... otay...

[img]http://www.dsmtshirts.com/Images/Large%20Photos/SatanNerdBlack.jpg[/img]

Ned Flanders? Sure, why not. I've seen him without a shirt on. But Groening doesn't really do body hair very much. And I forgot to mention the phalus because, well, it's just obvious. Like you don't tell people ocean is wet. But there it is. Massive, blue, twinkling in the moonlight.

[QUOTE=twomonkeysayoyo]No its even.
Imagine a tall, proud, naked Devil. Red, with goats legs, and horns. Dark, sinister, strong, charismatic. Scary good looking like a moorish warrior.[/QUOTE]

You're strong and charismatic?
I'm imagining this and I'm imagining that it's sexy. Uncloven hoofed animals are mostly sexy. Not that I want to engage in any activity beyond riding on one's back or maybe feeding it a carrot and stroking its nose, POSSIBLY leading it by the bridle though knee-deep water. The point is that you have the hooves, and maybe the horns help as well. Or perhaps I just like the sinister, evil, sinful aspect of it. Still, animals like horses and giraffes look all lean and muscular with their long bony legs and round haunches, and even those stubby little ponies and cows look nice and gentle with their sloe eyes, soft blunt noses and soft ears.

You sure talk some crazy shit, lady!

See, you know all of this stuff about me now, and I know barely anything of you. Your posts are a transparency, and yet you put them out in front of you and hide behind the projector. Come out, come out, from where you are.

[QUOTE=twomonkeysayoyo]See, you know all of this stuff about me now, and I know barely anything of you. Your posts are a transparency, and yet you put them out in front of you and hide behind the projector. Come out, come out, from where you are.[/QUOTE]

Are you talking to me?

You are the only one that I talk to. I talk AT everyone else.

[QUOTE=Maddetchke Malorkus]Are you talking to me?[/QUOTE]

he sure as hell ain't talkin' to anyone else with a transparency/projector issue...

[QUOTE=twomonkeysayoyo]You are the only one that I talk to. I talk AT everyone else.[/QUOTE]

I lead you here but now you must find your own way. I was the glint of silver in the heap of grey that is the google search result list and you chased me like Apollo at Daphne's heels. Now I'm blending into the wood? No I'm not. I'm open, I'm accessible. The window's open, all you have to do is crawl in.

[QUOTE=Prensa Taladradora]^that should go in the "Dicks" thread...[/QUOTE]
could have went in the powertool thread too

Ok. I'll stop being coy. PM your address. To me.

[QUOTE=Maddetchke Malorkus]I lead you here but now you must find your own way. I was the glint of silver in the heap of grey that is the google search result list and you chased me like Apollo at Daphne's heels. Now I'm blending into the wood? No I'm not. I'm open, I'm accessible. The window's open, all you have to do is crawl in.[/QUOTE]

way too many vagina analogy doubletalk nonsuchverse in this one to contend with...

[QUOTE=twomonkeysayoyo]Ok. I'll stop being coy. PM your address. To me.[/QUOTE]

Why? Do you want to come over?

well, if I am to crawl in through the window, I would have to.

Has anyone tried that burts bees lip stuff?
ive never felt my lips so smooth and they look really supple too!
its dont smell to good but it really works

is it made from beeswax? (i assume so)

i made lipbalm once and the main ingredients were beeswax and glycerine
i put lime oil in it to make it smell nice, seriously the best lip balm ever.
too bad i lost the recipe...

im not a chick but im a compulsive lip balm person in the fact that the cigarettes dry my lips out something awful
i think burts is good stuff to

Incidentally, Maybeline have brought out some fab lipgloss: juicy lips or something? It comes in a pink squeezy tube and It's much cheaper than the Lancome stuff (£15!).

I'd also like to mention that i'm really impressed with Elle magazine at the moment. I'm fed up of Cosmopolitan's shit.

[QUOTE=Snowhite]I'd also like to mention that i'm really impressed with Elle magazine at the moment. I'm fed up of Cosmopolitan's shit.[/QUOTE]

Why do you read that crap?

The articles are more or less intelligent and make me laugh. They actually interview people I want to hear about, like this issue's got an interview with Christina Ricci. If I wanted trashy stories about how to seduce my boss (Cosmo seem to think that all the readers have banal secretarial jobs and are as thick as two short planks.) i'd pick up Cosmo, or More...
Despite its price, the fashion is tasteful in Elle and they don't have pages and pages dedicated to the rich idiots who are famous for being famous, like in Vogue, where there's a Lady so-and-so, who's courting with some Oxford chap/ stupid Hooray Henry who enjoys Rowing and Daddy the Dandy's wallet.

I really like the pictures in some womens magazines, ads and the ones that accompany articles, but cosmo is trashy... I was reading one at my old job once and it was all going into sex detail and I got embarrassed to be reading it at work. It was very explicit...

cosmo...is a no no
elle is much better!

I like reading the Elle US version too. When I was in France all I could get hold of was Elle Girl (US), which really isn't as condescending as the teen mags over here, where girls my age are asking whether they can get pregnant from giving head or how cool Miss Sixty jeans are.

Cosmo just takes the piss with its articles. If I wanted illustrated 'Chicklit' shite i'd buy it. The sex tips are so bland, though.

those questions in the girl magazines are totally made up. I refuse to believe that real people send letters to magazines with those questions. Its just not plausible

Maybe its just that I find more fun in video games.

I feel sorry for the ones that write in with genuine problems and don't get their concerns answered. There are some real dumb girls out there. The funniest I read was along the lines of: 'How do I insert a tampon? I tried to last week but ended up putting it in the wrong hole! Help, I don't understand the instructions on the box!'

Sometimes my SEGA gets too intense for me, Minuet.

[QUOTE=SnowWhite]Sometimes my SEGA gets too intense for me, Minuet.[/QUOTE]
You ever play Michael Jacksons Moonwalker on SEGA? You havent lived until you do.
And btw, SEGA is still cooler than any girl fashion magazines, and SEGA sucks pretty bad. (compared to whats out there now)
If Elle or Cosmo had a Gaming section, you'd probably know these things, right?

Sega doesn't suck, you ass. I've got authority over this: When I was younger I was a brat with all the consoles (my mum gave the 16Bit Sega and chunky gameboy to charity...I'm such an idiot) and so I got to size them up pretty good.

I've never played the MJ game, but some of these rank pretty high on my GameGear:
The Addams Family
Enter the Dragon
Batman Returns
Beavis and Butthead...

The newer consoles are fun, but just aren't the same. The newest of games I'd buy is the Silent Hill series.

[QUOTE=Prensa Taladradora]those questions in the girl magazines are totally made up. I refuse to believe that real people send letters to magazines with those questions. Its just not plausible[/QUOTE]

Did you ever read Sassy? They had an ASK A BOY column. Each month, girls sent in questions they wanted answered from a boy. Things like "why does he ignore me when his friends are around?" and "do guys like girls who are quiet and into studying history?" and "there's a girl that pisses me off and I want to kick her ass" and jazz like that. Thurston Moore did it once, and gave quite sensitive and mature replies. One time they had Dean Ween and his answers were hilarious, stuff like "I don't know, he sounds crazy. That's pretty weird."
Ad Rock was the boy once too and that's all I remember. I bet Evan Dando did it too. Sassy was all over Dando's rod. Even when Sassy broke down and was taken over by gay guys who called it Sissy, they were still all over Dando's rod. If early 90s hipsterland was a prom, Evan Dando and Julianna Hatfield would have been the King and Queen. I even remember once when an ordinary teenage Lemonheads fan wrote in and asked if Sassy could get Dando to go the prom with her, and he did. They published her prom portrait in the following issue.

I don't know why I thought you'd be interested in this.

[QUOTE=SnowWhite]Sega doesn't suck, you ass. I've got authority over this: When I was younger I was a brat with all the consoles (my mum gave the 16Bit Sega and chunky gameboy to charity...I'm such an idiot) and so I got to size them up pretty good.

I've never played the MJ game, but some of these rank pretty high on my GameGear:
The Addams Family
Enter the Dragon
Batman Returns
Beavis and Butthead...

The newer consoles are fun, but just aren't the same. The newest of games I'd buy is the Silent Hill series.[/QUOTE]
I'll challenge that 'authority' of yours in any gaming sequence. Girl on Girl Gaming, and I'd kick your asssssss! No, SEGA doesnt suck [I]all the way[/I], but next to all the [I]new[/I] consoles your parents apparently havent bought you...it does. Sorry.

I remember a great game that Nintendo came out with, Festers Quest. I played that like the house was burning down!

[QUOTE=Maddetchke Malorkus]Did you ever read Sassy? They had an ASK A BOY column. Each month, girls sent in questions they wanted answered from a boy. Things like "why does he ignore me when his friends are around?" and "do guys like girls who are quiet and into studying history?" and "there's a girl that pisses me off and I want to kick her ass" and jazz like that. Thurston Moore did it once, and gave quite sensitive and mature replies. One time they had Dean Ween and his answers were hilarious, stuff like "I don't know, he sounds crazy. That's pretty weird."
Ad Rock was the boy once too and that's all I remember. I bet Evan Dando did it too. Sassy was all over Dando's rod. Even when Sassy broke down and was taken over by gay guys who called it Sissy, they were still all over Dando's rod. If early 90s hipsterland was a prom, Evan Dando and Julianna Hatfield would have been the King and Queen. I even remember once when an ordinary teenage Lemonheads fan wrote in and asked if Sassy could get Dando to go the prom with her, and he did. They published her prom portrait in the following issue.[/QUOTE]

I remember that stuff, that's pretty funny, I never would have thought of it again if you hadn't reminded me...fuckin evan dando man...I do miss the old 120 minutes though, I used to stay up every sunday night and watch that shit...

[QUOTE=Prensa Taladradora]I remember that stuff, that's pretty funny, I never would have thought of it again if you hadn't reminded me...fuckin evan dando man...I do miss the old 120 minutes though, I used to stay up every sunday night and watch that shit...[/QUOTE]

Did you know he was in a movie? It's an excellent movie, called Heavy, in which nothing at all happens, but it's incredibly GOOD the way nothing happens. Well, even when something does happen it feels like nothing happened but you love the main guy. He makes me think of my older brother, only he's nothing at all like my older brother. He's more like the person my older brother pretends to be when he's making fun of himself. I think it was even set in rural Maine! Droopylips McSadeye is also in it and Dando plays her asshole boyfriend. One time Sassy had an article/photoshoot about Droopylips and how she was dating Evan Dando and they were starring in this movie together. Yeah, the article made it sound like a romantic movie about them when really they are second hand characters. Debbie Harry's in it too. It good movie.

[QUOTE=Maddetchke Malorkus]Did you ever read Sassy? They had an ASK A BOY column. Each month, girls sent in questions they wanted answered from a boy. Things like "why does he ignore me when his friends are around?" and "do guys like girls who are quiet and into studying history?" and "there's a girl that pisses me off and I want to kick her ass" and jazz like that. Thurston Moore did it once, and gave quite sensitive and mature replies. One time they had Dean Ween and his answers were hilarious, stuff like "I don't know, he sounds crazy. That's pretty weird."
Ad Rock was the boy once too and that's all I remember. I bet Evan Dando did it too. Sassy was all over Dando's rod. Even when Sassy broke down and was taken over by gay guys who called it Sissy, they were still all over Dando's rod. If early 90s hipsterland was a prom, Evan Dando and Julianna Hatfield would have been the King and Queen. I even remember once when an ordinary teenage Lemonheads fan wrote in and asked if Sassy could get Dando to go the prom with her, and he did. They published her prom portrait in the following issue.

I don't know why I thought you'd be interested in this.[/QUOTE]

And the editor of sassy is now the editor of Jane and they have an ask a man column and they have some pretty cool guys. Although none come to mind.

I'd love to go to my Leaver's party with the dude from the Lemonheads...especially if he sang Big Gay Heart to me infront of everyone - that could make someone's year! Mine at least!

And Minuet, nowadays (for the last six years) i've been buying my own consoles, now I can afford to. I test them first, just to make sure they're good enough before I buy. I bought back my Sega GameGear, it was that good... much better than Gameboy Advanced (I do admit that the new gameboy is pretty rad, though). Who wants to play Harry Potter when you can play Bruce Lee?

The best amusement arcade for me is Time Crisis 2 /The House of Dead.

yeah I saw that movie, but to be honest I didn't recognize evan as the boyfriend. If I were pressed to say who it was I prolly woulda said Jordan Catalano or some shit. You gotta really good memory, you must not drink a lot huh?

I swear by NYLON and Vogue
they dont have sex articles on how to please your crush or 67 ways to lick his ear
and learn to talk to your cat
but they have great fashion spreads and thats really what its all about...and then theres the hotter skinnier boys with the better haircuts

[QUOTE=Maddetchke Malorkus]Did you know he was in a movie? It's an excellent movie, called Heavy, in which nothing at all happens, but it's incredibly GOOD the way nothing happens. Well, even when something does happen it feels like nothing happened but you love the main guy. He makes me think of my older brother, only he's nothing at all like my older brother. He's more like the person my older brother pretends to be when he's making fun of himself. I think it was even set in rural Maine! Droopylips McSadeye is also in it and Dando plays her asshole boyfriend. One time Sassy had an article/photoshoot about Droopylips and how she was dating Evan Dando and they were starring in this movie together. Yeah, the article made it sound like a romantic movie about them when really they are second hand characters. Debbie Harry's in it too. It good movie.[/QUOTE]

Heavy is a good movie staring the crazy-eyed fat man indie dude that is getting to be in every movie these days, pruitt taylor vince...

[url]http://www.yosemite-sam.net/Actors/Pruitt-Taylor-Vince-Cell-01.jpg[/url]

... and it's decent movie but Evan Dando is so useless in it. He is in it for like two seconds as Liv Tyler's boyfriend that the fat man is jealous of. The fat man everyone thinks is a retard cook who never talks because he's shy but really he's a fat man with a heart of gold that liv tyler of course should have sex with just because he's fat and wierd. Anyhow, Shelly Winters is the only notable thing in it. I think she died after it. It's worth seeing but really stupid in a lot of ways. It's got a dog in it that holds the story together by sighing and looking sad all the time and debbie harry and evan dando are just gimmicks. Evan dando plays a song and looks pretty for a few seconds. that's it...