Rosie's No Nonsense Advice Thread.
Best thread ever.
Dear Rosie,
What should I get my fuckbuddy for Christmas?
No, it's the social lubricant.
The something more is a date or relationship or some shit like that.
I thought you were saying lubricant is the something more.
What was that fucking thing you said you did to the whiney babies who wouldn't let you put the fucking eye drops into their eyeballs? Because I don't fucking remember and this is so fucking hard.
Can you say "fuck" some more?
And is that referring to me and my eye-drop phobia? Smurf you (too many F-bombs)!
Si vis pacem, para bellum
Dear Rosie,
What should I get my fuckbuddy for Christmas?
Dear JuggaloRando,
A nice bottle of wine and music to shag by.
Lie down on your back with your eyes closed and get someone to drop them in the inner corner of your eye. Then open them and the drops will go into your eye.
Whoa.
Tuffy the Dump Truck may rarely increase the risk of a heart attack or stroke. The risk may be greater if you have heart disease or increased risk for heart disease (for example, due to smoking, family history of heart disease, or conditions such as high blood pressure or diabetes), or with longer use. Tuffy should not be taken right before or after heart bypass surgery. Also, Tuffy may infrequently cause serious (rarely fatal) bleeding from the stomach or intestines. This effect can occur without warning symptoms at any time while taking Tuffy. Older adults may be at higher risk for this effect. (See also Precautions and Drug Interactions sections.) Stop taking Tuffy and get medical help right away if you notice any of the following rare but serious side effects: bloody or black/tarry stools, persistent stomach/abdominal pain, vomit that looks like coffee grounds, chest/jaw/left arm pain, shortness of breath, unusual sweating, weakness on one side of the body, sudden vision changes, slurred speech. Ask your doctor if Tuffy is right for you.
Great advice, any recommendations for music to shag to? Btw I think we need to start saying shagging in America, it just sounds more fun than fucking
Fucking is fun but I wouldn't mind shag....no I'll stick to fucking.
(Or making love)
A shag is generally dirty and quick. But fucking can be longer and dirtier.
And, making love? Sounds so corny and ikky, but it's pretty nice really.
I've never made love 
Depends on your taste in music. Nothing too intense or mushy if you're just fuck buddies. Something fun, sexy and sweet, or hardcore bang-your-brains-out music. Like I said, depends on what you're into.
There must be some ready-made playlist on itunes or something.
And, making love? Sounds so corny and ikky, but it's pretty nice really.
Exactly.
And is that referring to me and my eye-drop phobia? Smurf you (too many F-bombs)!
Every fuck was absolutely necessary. So no, I won't gratuitously say fuck just to please you.
And I was talking about the infants that Sarah takes care of but I like the idea of it being you better. Let's make it that.
Why thank you.
I'm mostly in long term relationships - I don't think I have either.
I'm mostly in long term relationships - I don't think I have either.
Shouldn't making love happen in long term relationships? I mean, one's not as detached as with a fuck buddy. I wouldn't know, this is just a guess.
"Should", but that doesn't mean that it always does.
In this case, movies lie.
I'm such a noob.
All of the above.
In a long term relationship you should have a mix of everything. But mostly it's "Ok, get on with it then."
Hehe.
Hehe.
^ This
And also that's sad to have been in only long term relationships and never having made love.
that's so sad Irina. I don't believe you have to be madly in love to make love with someone. Its more in the act of the thing. Even if it turns out it wasn't love there is a time in every relationship where at least you believe you are in love. In a way I believe I've been in love with most all the women I had been with, even if they ended up just using me and breaking my heart in the end. Save for a few little fucks I had where I was just generally bored with life that is. Of course I was a real Emo little fuck when I was younger and way before Emo was even Emo. Had to crack a lot of eggs and so forth.
“The man of knowledge must be able not only to love his enemies but also to hate his friends.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche
This thread has made me sad... I'm going to make love as often as possible, and fuck whenever she wants it.
that's so sad Irina. I don't believe you have to be madly in love to make love with someone. Its more in the act of the thing. Even if it turns out it wasn't love there is a time in every relationship where at least you believe you are in love. In a way I believe I've been in love with most all the women I had been with, even if they ended up just using me and breaking my heart in the end. Save for a few little fucks I had where I was just generally bored with life that is. Of course I was a real Emo little fuck when I was younger and way before Emo was even Emo. Had to crack a lot of eggs and so forth.
I know what you mean. But I have been and still am in love. But if you're fucking your fuck buddy, no matter how much you care about him, it's still not love.
I know what you mean. But I have been and still am in love. But if you're fucking your fuck buddy, no matter how much you care about him, it's still not love.
Yeah I get that. I never really had fuck buddies. A few one time deals with friends once upon a time. Most of mine have been relationships.
“The man of knowledge must be able not only to love his enemies but also to hate his friends.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche
I feel you on that, I've never been in a relationship like this either, i also believe ive loved ever woman ive ever been with, even if it was for a very short time and I'm usually the one getting hurt. So fuckbuddy isn't really the right word, we dated for awhile, and we brokerage up for calm rational reasons even thought neither of us wanted to. Now were still pretty much dating, but we can date other people, even though I don't want to. So yea, this thread got real depressing real fast.
This thread deserves two puppies.
Oh come on people. Harden up.
*tsk*
Tuffy the Dump Truck may rarely increase the risk of a heart attack or stroke. The risk may be greater if you have heart disease or increased risk for heart disease (for example, due to smoking, family history of heart disease, or conditions such as high blood pressure or diabetes), or with longer use. Tuffy should not be taken right before or after heart bypass surgery. Also, Tuffy may infrequently cause serious (rarely fatal) bleeding from the stomach or intestines. This effect can occur without warning symptoms at any time while taking Tuffy. Older adults may be at higher risk for this effect. (See also Precautions and Drug Interactions sections.) Stop taking Tuffy and get medical help right away if you notice any of the following rare but serious side effects: bloody or black/tarry stools, persistent stomach/abdominal pain, vomit that looks like coffee grounds, chest/jaw/left arm pain, shortness of breath, unusual sweating, weakness on one side of the body, sudden vision changes, slurred speech. Ask your doctor if Tuffy is right for you.
No one ever came to the end of life and said, "You know what? I spent way too much time on real intimacy and not nearly enough on meaningless scrogging..."
Fuck-buddies are for those cowards who will risk nothing at all and, having risked nothing, will never ever climb their way out of the empty holes they live in.
Tuffy the Dump Truck may rarely increase the risk of a heart attack or stroke. The risk may be greater if you have heart disease or increased risk for heart disease (for example, due to smoking, family history of heart disease, or conditions such as high blood pressure or diabetes), or with longer use. Tuffy should not be taken right before or after heart bypass surgery. Also, Tuffy may infrequently cause serious (rarely fatal) bleeding from the stomach or intestines. This effect can occur without warning symptoms at any time while taking Tuffy. Older adults may be at higher risk for this effect. (See also Precautions and Drug Interactions sections.) Stop taking Tuffy and get medical help right away if you notice any of the following rare but serious side effects: bloody or black/tarry stools, persistent stomach/abdominal pain, vomit that looks like coffee grounds, chest/jaw/left arm pain, shortness of breath, unusual sweating, weakness on one side of the body, sudden vision changes, slurred speech. Ask your doctor if Tuffy is right for you.
Fuck-buddies are for those cowards who will risk nothing at all and, having risked nothing, will never ever climb their way out of the empty holes they live in.
I resent this statement. I don't think I could ever be happy if I hadn't had a couple of the fuck buddies I did.
Anyway I need more advice from Rosie.
Oh wise Rosie, I have a lot stuff to sell when and where should I sell my junk?
Bow chicka bow wooooowww
Not like that Fano!
Fuck-buddies are for those cowards who will risk nothing at all and, having risked nothing, will never ever climb their way out of the empty holes they live in.
I resent this statement. I don't think I could ever be happy if I hadn't had a couple of the fuck buddies I did.
Anyway I need more advice from Rosie.
Oh wise Rosie, I have a lot stuff to sell when and where should I sell my junk?
Do you have an online auction type website? Ebay, or something more local?
If so, do that.
Or are there places near you that do a car boot sale type thing?
I'd go with selling on the interwebs first though, as long as you can get to a post office and stuff.
Feel free to disagree. My opinions are formed the hard way - through years of trial and fuck-up.
What's even the point of fucking someone unless you can possess them mind, body, and soul?
Tuffy the Dump Truck may rarely increase the risk of a heart attack or stroke. The risk may be greater if you have heart disease or increased risk for heart disease (for example, due to smoking, family history of heart disease, or conditions such as high blood pressure or diabetes), or with longer use. Tuffy should not be taken right before or after heart bypass surgery. Also, Tuffy may infrequently cause serious (rarely fatal) bleeding from the stomach or intestines. This effect can occur without warning symptoms at any time while taking Tuffy. Older adults may be at higher risk for this effect. (See also Precautions and Drug Interactions sections.) Stop taking Tuffy and get medical help right away if you notice any of the following rare but serious side effects: bloody or black/tarry stools, persistent stomach/abdominal pain, vomit that looks like coffee grounds, chest/jaw/left arm pain, shortness of breath, unusual sweating, weakness on one side of the body, sudden vision changes, slurred speech. Ask your doctor if Tuffy is right for you.
Feel free to disagree. My opinions are formed the hard way - through years of trial and fuck-up.
lqtm
I get what you're saying though. Also you forgot heart. I can give my mind, body, and soul to a fuck buddy but I can't say they are getting my heart.
I think Tuffy meant that heart would be included in the soul. Giving the soul to someone is a highly intimate thing that a person would, likely, never do with a person to whom they do not have a deep emotional attachement.
I wish I knew where I left my soul. Feel so naked without it. Almost like when I misplace my phone but not quite so panicky.
Fuck-buddies are for those cowards who will risk nothing at all and, having risked nothing, will never ever climb their way out of the empty holes they live in.
I wrote a reply to this ealier, but it got lost!
I think it was something like:
Oi! This is my bloody advice thread!
But yeah, Tuffy is right.
Fuck buddies and "casual" relationships usually end up with someone wanting more than the other and getting hurt and/or disappointed.
Flings are fun but can also make you feel like shit.
Fuck-buddies are for those cowards who will risk nothing at all and, having risked nothing, will never ever climb their way out of the empty holes they live in.
I wrote a reply to this ealier, but it got lost!
I think it was something like:
Oi! This is my bloody advice thread!
But yeah, Tuffy is right.
Fuck buddies and "casual" relationships usually end up with someone wanting more than the other and getting hurt and/or disappointed.
Flings are fun but can also make you feel like shit.
You're both right. But it's not my fault no one on this continent ever wanted to date me.
They're all very very stupid Irina. I'd take you on a hot date.
You're not on this continent either! 
Fano gets me.
Then again, he also is a Romantic.
Tuffy the Dump Truck may rarely increase the risk of a heart attack or stroke. The risk may be greater if you have heart disease or increased risk for heart disease (for example, due to smoking, family history of heart disease, or conditions such as high blood pressure or diabetes), or with longer use. Tuffy should not be taken right before or after heart bypass surgery. Also, Tuffy may infrequently cause serious (rarely fatal) bleeding from the stomach or intestines. This effect can occur without warning symptoms at any time while taking Tuffy. Older adults may be at higher risk for this effect. (See also Precautions and Drug Interactions sections.) Stop taking Tuffy and get medical help right away if you notice any of the following rare but serious side effects: bloody or black/tarry stools, persistent stomach/abdominal pain, vomit that looks like coffee grounds, chest/jaw/left arm pain, shortness of breath, unusual sweating, weakness on one side of the body, sudden vision changes, slurred speech. Ask your doctor if Tuffy is right for you.
I very much like being a capital r Romantic.
Also, Irina, it's only a matter of time until you're where you need to be.
I will also probably be on that continent by next summer. Just sayin.... 
Haha.
I think I know what you mean but I was not referring to that. I don't even know where I need to be. This year has been so crazy from this point of view and I've made so many mistakes that I can only hope I've learned enough.
I've been quite the bitch and I really regret it.
You should learn from that. It sounds like you have.
People need to be kind. Kindness is an important life skill.
Fixed.
I sure hope I learned something. But that's not my place to judge.
Haha. Bloody spot on.
Rosie, I think I want to get a motorcycle. Not a big loud beastly Harley beast or whatever, but something smaller and quiter, more versatile, but not like a moped or scooter either. I have a friend who rides a scooter and it is silly. he does not get chicks, though he pretends he does. Where's he put 'em? On the handlebars? "Hop on! Hold tight!" (Brrrrrruuuuuuukkkkkkk!!!)
My reasons are not sex-fueled at all, however, and more so coming to acceptance with the fact that I will never drive cars. Cars are death machines. Sure, I won't turn into Bubble Boy on a bike...I know I can fall off, bugs will hit me, my parents will disapprove...But I will never get my face cut out by a shattered windshield on a bike. I will never get trapped by a seat-belt garrote inside of an upside down burning bike. I will never be suffocated by a deployed airbag in a ditch. And cars get shit clipped off them because they are too fat and stupid. With a bike, I can squeeze right through, the way I squeeze through life, so it's fitting. In a minute, I'm gonna go youtube a bunch of bike accident videos and way the pros and cons of fly-sliding sixty feet of scorching gravel with a bunch of padding on, versus ramming head-long into a windshield without a helmet. Better yet, I am going to put on some pads and go slide sixty feet across scorching gravel, and then head-long into a glass window without a helmet...because hey, I gotta learn to live dangerously if I'm gonna take on a motorcycle. What do you think, Rosie? Is it time to put my cunt to the wind? Mbbbrrrrrmmmmm MMmmmbbrrrrrmmmmm MMBBRRRRUUMMM!!!!! I'm scared.
I hate when that happens.
Tuffy the Dump Truck may rarely increase the risk of a heart attack or stroke. The risk may be greater if you have heart disease or increased risk for heart disease (for example, due to smoking, family history of heart disease, or conditions such as high blood pressure or diabetes), or with longer use. Tuffy should not be taken right before or after heart bypass surgery. Also, Tuffy may infrequently cause serious (rarely fatal) bleeding from the stomach or intestines. This effect can occur without warning symptoms at any time while taking Tuffy. Older adults may be at higher risk for this effect. (See also Precautions and Drug Interactions sections.) Stop taking Tuffy and get medical help right away if you notice any of the following rare but serious side effects: bloody or black/tarry stools, persistent stomach/abdominal pain, vomit that looks like coffee grounds, chest/jaw/left arm pain, shortness of breath, unusual sweating, weakness on one side of the body, sudden vision changes, slurred speech. Ask your doctor if Tuffy is right for you.