Pointless Announcements

So I'm not tired, it turns out I'm just lazy. I went to bed at half past midnight and woke up today at 7:45, when the alarm went off. Just got out of bed, washed my face and I was surprised at how easy it was.

So I've been slacking.

Noah says hi and that he misses everybody, even tuffy! haha

That is my PA

Why? Where did he go?

Ha not far just hasn't had a computer in a couple days I guess hehe

Me and Pål Martin want to book a flight to The Netherlands in the week of the last Queen's Day, before it's changed to King's Day next year. Prices are going up faaast, but we have not yet gotten the okay at work, so we can't just book either. Ahhh!

i was once in the netherlands for queen's day. good times.

do the brits have something like that too?

also, around here when they talk about beatrix's retirement in the media they only talk about maxima, they barely mention the crown prince !

Yeah, the Dutchies are really excited about Maxima being queen as well.

Yeah, isn't that in May or June? Always in late spring so that the weather would be good, although Queen Elizabeth's real birthday is in April.

do the brits go totally havoc then too?

I don't know, Hattie should tell us.

There is a parade with soldiers called Trooping the Colour, but no public holiday annoyingly.

Either my alarm didn't go off or I switched it off when I was still too asleep to remember. This never happens, it's so weird! I'm glad I haven't missed this class this term, at least I won't look tooooo bad. Bloody hell though, was really confusing to open my eyes and it being 9am. Oops.

I got a "Yeah, that's probably fine", which isn't a guarantee. Guess I'll have to book the flight and pay extra to be able to change the dates. ._.

Hmm, someone already posted "Does it really matter?" to every question on r/nihilism. Now I have nothing to do today but read.

PA: I bought pretty glittery nail varnish in my lunch break and discretely painted my nails infront of my desk. Damn the Man!

This mornings news showed the world to be topsy turvy.

Three stories in a row.

The first about a police officer that took his wife and child hostage and shot his cat dead then had a shoot out with the hostage negotiators.

The second about an ex marine who murdered a man, four shots, in the street during an altercation.

The third about three criminals on a work crew that saved a couple children from drowning in a near by river when their canoe overturned.

WHAT THE FUCK?

Last story almost made me cry.

Some kid shot another kid at a school in Atlanta too.

Some survivalist anti-government paranoid anarchist type is holed up (like literally hiding in an underground bunker thing he built) with a five year old he kidnapped a couple of days ago in East Bumble, Alabama. He boarded a school bus, shot the driver and snatched the little boy and has been holding him hostage ever since.

Why? Because that coon presidont is goan take away all our sacred second ammenmit rights!

:eyeroll:

I hope they shoot the dipshit.

Ya hear me Giggan?!?

The poor boy. I just want to wrap him in a blanket and give him a cookie.

I really hope the child comes out unscathed.

Who does that? Nobody I have known has come out of childhood unscathed. That would put the shrinks out of business.

I just hope he manages to not get picked on too much. Kids are heartless when they smell fresh victimization. That is assuming he will come out of this alive, of course. I always try to think positive.

Well... m use of the word 'unscathed' was an understatement.

PA: Somehow I just cannot scold Zachariah when I catch him reading by nightlight in bed at 11 at night.

Yeah,cause THAT'S what gonna send him to the loony bin.

You raise some good kids, Amber.

Yeah, I did. I ended up just booking my flight. I could change the dates (I would have to pay for it), but I didn't have to pay extra for the ticket now, so that's good. I'm assuming it'll work out, because people don't tend to have problems here getting time off, plus I told them a couple of months in advance.

haha

the PA was actually completely unrelated to what you said, but I guess it worked right in there perfect.

PA: I haven't been able to sleep.

Anyway Mena, I hope he is as unscathed as possible from the situation. The rest of childhood... yeah we were all messed up by that.

Ever wonder what messed up kids we would all be if we did adulthood first?

Try coming out of your adulthood unscathed!!!!

At least when you are a kid you can go from situation to situation without too much self loathing on the ways you messed it up yourself and dwelling on making the same mistakes repeatedly and having to accept your own faults and learn to live with them as best and lovingly productive a manor as possible though you know it is mostly futile because those faults snare you like old friends taunting and good enemies beckoning every time; you know them so well yet still choose to self indulge in them when no one is looking, but they are looking and so are you whether you want to see or claim not.

I went out tonight, after acing my accounting exam, to meet my cousin for his girlfriend's birthday. I came home and did the same thing I do after every night and asked myself, "Why? Why did I go out? Nothing out there makes me feel satisfied." I do this every time, these days, and tonight I asked myself, "What would be enough? What do I need?" I realized that even if I had the universe, nothing could make me feel... good. No experience could ever be enough. The universe is not enough. That's heavy for me, guys. This is weighing on me.

Now my goal in life is to find a different universe. To find a place with rules that create the wonders I can't experience here. Looks like I'm gonna get another fuckin' degree. In physics this time. Oy vey. A dimensional portal. Yeah... that shit could be tight.

Or I could just do some drugs, I don't know.

It's a bright spring day and I have no one to go out with. Maybe I'll go read on the terrace of the Museum of Contemporary Art in the afternoon, though.

I'm going out for Chinese food! It's the first time I'm trying it in Romania, so I'm a bit anxious and can't wait.

I wrote a poem with that I am very happy with, that I also know needs revision (which I'm doing right now), but I'm determined to make this as good as I can. Because it feels like the real thing, whatever that means.

Arrived in Atlanta late Wednesday night. It's been really nice. I can't wait to move here.
It amazes me how dramatically cheaper everything is compared to up north. Even cigarettes. Marlboro Reds are pushing 9 dollars where I live and last night I saw a sign saying they're 4.73. Insane.

In the South, tobacco is a God-given right.

PA: Culting on a train. I find a fox in socks my day will be complete.

Gabby, I love Atlanta. I went to high school in the burbs (Duluth, which is in Gwinnett County). My mother in law lives there now and we go a couple weekends out of every month (it's a 2 hour drive from where I live, just outside of Birmingham, AL). Our plan is to move back there in 8 to 10 years.

Isaac, this is called depression. You should see someone.

I appreciate the concern, but nah, I know depression. That's not what this is. My ambition is just reaching for something I can't grasp right now, but I don't know what it is. I don't think it's love, and it's certainly not things. It's not that I want to make the world a better place, either. Sooo... hm.

Maybe I should work on a new skill or something. I'll be looking for new sensations (the drugs thing was a joke).

I should start a fight club!

Well last night was the drunkest I've been in a long time.

Haha. Stop going out and getting pissed and meeting stupid drunk people, that might help.

I know there can be fun times when you do, but there are also really crappy times. Like the next day when you don't like yourself very much.

PA:

I enjoyed chatting to Jess, Imke and Jaz last night.

Meowie wasn't letting my cut Lucy's nail before, he kept patting the scissors with his paws, I wondered if he was worried I was hurting her. When I put her on the ground after he rubbed past her and let her give him a cuddle, where she grabs him and smooshes her face into his fur.

That's adorable.

Lucy is the cutest!

I had deep-fried shrimp with caramel sauce (which tasted like donuts), chicken noodles, sour-sweet chicken with carrots and cucumbers and potato slices with chicken. Everything was awesome! And then I went and bought myself another book. Seriously, it's getting to be a habit and I hate it! I already have thousands of books on my Kindle, I DO NOT need more.

It's not that the people I go out with are stupid or obnoxious, and I don't always get drunk. It's just... I don't find people interesting anymore. They're just too predictable, at least in that sort of social setting our culture's built. The only people I find interesting are those that create things that are beyond my ability, but not beyond my appreciation. Like my brother who makes neat little programs, or my housemate whose constantly trying to come up with "the next big thing," and working with little side projects in the meantime. Or my buddy with whom I'm working on a film.

I suppose I'm just unsatisfied with a culture that's fine with just going to a 9-5 job, and stopping the productivity there. It's time to relax and drink and be social without consequence, cuz that's "what people do." What's worse is that I've become that way, myself. Yeah, I write occasionally, but I don't feel like I'm creating something I can really share. Maybe I should've been an engineer of some kind. Maybe I should get into programming.

I enjoyed chatting with you girls too! Except chat kept freezing up on me.

Lucy is adorable.

PA: I'm lazy and don't want to go to work. But the sooner I get out of bed the sooner I can go pen hunting!

To much for me to read through.
But sorry guys I miss you all. Thanks Jaz
But yes no computer and my phone has been dead too so no Cult. I miss you guys. Its strange how much I miss you folks.
Its 12 and I feel like I could go back to bed even though I have been awake for only about an hour.
To many bad dreams.
Odd drinks. And Goth dance nights
Please dont take me to goth dance nights. Even though there were a lot of cute girls I cant dance. At all.
Even with whiskey drinks and gin.
I did get hit on my a lot of men though so thats always fun!

Me too!

And that's way too cute, it shouldn't even be allowed.

Oh man, I love fake Chinese food. I'm sad it's not a bigger part of your life.

You're talking like a fag and your shit's all retarded.

It will be from now on!