Pointless Announcements

I am seriously loving this body wash and lotion my sister gave me.

I just had a shower and I am feeling all pretty smelling and clean.

I really need to give myself a pedicure, however. My toes are in a sad state.

A girl at school posted a picture of me next to one of Keira Knightley and said that she's my celebrity lookalike.

Sounds about right!

Hmm, maybe a little, but she has thinner lips - which is a plus for you!

Enjoy:

A friend of mine said Winona Ryder, but heh, wishful thinking.

Your face does remind me a bit of Winona's. I really love that dress.

I don't know what my problem is today but I feel really guilty for being the way that I am. I don't know. I have a lot of issues that my mom doesn't know about and I'd like to keep it that way but I don't think I can anymore. When I shaved my head, she told me she was going to send me to a shrink which I was and am ok with but that hasn't happened yet. I don't even know if it will happen. I'm really afraid that I'm going to do something really stupid/continue to do really stupid things and end up throwing everything away. And I feel so fucking bad for my mom. She has enough pressure being a single parent and she's starting to realize that her kid is a headcase and I just feel so bad. I don't know. Whatever, I'm sorry. I hope you guys are having a good day.

Oh dear. I hope you're okay, don't be so hard on yourself about things you can't change. If you can change stuff, start right away because even the smallest improvements will make you feel better. If you feel you need it go to a doctor. The fact you think you're a head case is a good sign because it means you aren't completely nuts, so high five on that one!

Thank you.

Wait... is that you in the first picture?

I don't know you, but I'm going to give you some advice. If you for any reason feel like seeing a shrink might be a good thing, go on and do it. It's better to get help and sort out your issues now then later when they have been compounded with more life and get more confusing. This is especially good if it is something your mom wants you to do. It creates a little bond between the two of you. It's something she wants for you and it's something you want for yourself.

Seeing a shrink is not a weakness, it is not accepting defeat or admitting something is wrong with you. For a lot of people it is a positive step in becoming the person you want to and should be.

HEY Y'ALL!

HOPE Y'ALL HAD AN AWESOME NEW YEAR'S CELEBRATION!

Missed you guys My dad & his wife were here until Tuesday, then I had to get back to work. It's a busy year already, mangs.

I'm going to dinner in a sec, but I'm looking forward to reading all 8 billion PA's this weekend.

Thank you for the advice. I really appreciate it. Thank you so much.

Don't be scared. Making the decision to talk to someone is the scariest part. After that things get much better pretty quickly. And it could very well help you and your mother to understand each other. You could have joint sessions or your doctor could have sessions with your mother where s/he tries to explain to your mother what you are going through and helps her to understand you.

Believe me. I didn't go until I was in my early twenties, even though I wanted to in my teens. My relationship with my mother has never been repaired and probably never will be. I mean, it's better now than it was, but it's not what it could be.

Some people can go through life without the help of doctors or medication, but some of us need those things to get by. The most important thing is recognizing your need and accepting it. Once you get there, the road is a lot less bumpy.

Thank you so much. My guidance counselor suggested just that. He said I should see someone myself and then either her and I should go together and the therapist could act as a mediator or she could see them and they would tell her what's up with me.

I'll have to write her a letter or something.
Thank you again. This is really nice of you.

For some reason the V and H keys stopped working on my keyboard. And then they started working again.

Maybe they took a Vacation and went on Holiday.

My sister's Christmas gift to me is to fly me down to Florida to hang out with her for a few days. I really want to go, but I'm kinda stressed that it might not be a good idea to be so far away from Xander right now. I have to decide soon because she'll only be down there a little while longer. -_-

Hey Alecia god to see you back. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

heh. perhaps.

I was going to type out a long post and then ask if anyone wanted to guess which letters were missing. But then they started working and spoiled the fun.

No, that's a Romanian gymnast. Gold medal at the Sydney Olympic Games, which was later withdrawn because she had taken Nurofen for a cold, approved by the doctor and all that.

Irina, you definitely share a resemblance with the gymnast. Like a, you look like sisters kind of resemblance.

Thanks, everyone says that. I was very impressed with her case, I was just 10 but I remember watching the Olympics that year and the rage when they took away her medal - Romania had gold, silver and bronze that year at the individual events, before her gold was taken back. She retired 2 years later.

I am actually genuinely pissed at James right now about not being home.

I don't know where he is, and I usually don't worry about it because he does this sometimes. Just needs space and half the time is just driving around aimlessly. But the past two nights he went over and saw different friends and didn't come home until late. I do that too at times, but I do at least let him know the plan first.

I am pissed because Gabriel now has to walk over a mile uphill in the cold to get home from work. He works every Friday and Saturday night and I usually pick him up when he calls between ten and eleven. His dad knows this.

But I do not have a car right now and now he is walking. At this hour. And temperature.

It is past midnight.

Why has he left me alone? Three nights in a row?

And now? Right now?

I'm sorry he's not there.

yeah me too.

I'm just gonna delete that because it is fucked up of me to post at all.

I walked out in the kitchen right when Gabe was coming out for water and he caught me crying and gave me a hug, which he does not do... he does not touch at all, and talked to me.

James still isn't home.

Aw, Amber. I want to give you a hug.

Your kids are so fantastic, by the way.

Sometimes blokes really really suckarse though.

Thanks Sarah.

Amber, I feel you. Being let down can really grate at you. It's insidious because you can't fight back or do anything to make the situation, at least while it is occurring, better. I hate feeling helpless and I can only assume you feel the same.

My Kindle seems to be beyond fixing, it still works, but I have to deal with it freezing up and randomly resetting. So, I just ordered the new Kindle Paperwhite. And there went the remaining balance of my Amazon gift cards. Merry Christmas to me! The gift cards bought me both volumes of The Walking Dead Compendium, a new Kindle and a cover. So I guess that's a pretty good run.

Pepper, you can be as dramatic as you want to with us. We are here.

Amber, as late as he was out, the fact that your son had to walk home late at night in freezing weather, and the fact that you were so upset - I hope you didn't let that man sleep in this morning. I'd be vacuuming the bedroom and finding something to hammer BAMBAMBAM.

I got one too! I'm gonna send Jaz something really cool one of these days. But it will be a surprise as to when.

I meant to say that I hope James came home when I posted about the Kindle. Sorry.

I hope everything is okay, Amber. I am here if you need me.

My mother is the queen of passive aggressiveness.

Haha she'll have to compete with my mum for that title.

My apologies because it's so terrible

Someone in the Republic of Moldova has been looking at the past 526 pages of my tumblr. Every single one of them. It's been going on for a couple of days.

I had to get rid of statcounter for that reason... people were starting to creep me the hell out

Oh I won't give it up, even though I freak whenever I see someone from Bucharest is looking through my archives. It stopped working a week ago and for one whole day I was left in the dark - horrible. Now it's back and I can see all the creeps.

I am going to the movies.

He never sleeps in, usually up by five. I couldn't tell you when the last time he slept past seven even on a Sunday was.

I freaked out on him a little bit, then demanded he sleep on the couch then yelled at him for taking off to the couch so fast then wrote him a nasty email both kicking him out and demanding that he is isn't allowed to leave the house and has to be all alone all the time to see how it feels and I hope he enjoys his canned soup because it's all I'm feeding him ever again.

I'm sort of a bitch.

So that was that. He's been washing laundry and trying to find my lost shirt the past couple hours.

You're not a bitch. Not even a little bit.

Good for you. Inconsiderate is unforgivable and requires a time out.

People keep telling me that I don't seem myself. I don't know what is going on.

Something I found out about myself this break: I'm most comfortable when I'm meeting new people. I love my close friends, we're all good and that's great, but I feel that they're only my friends because they allow me to exercise my brain in the way that it's exercised when I'm talking to strangers, and they encourage it, cuz I always come in with new ideas about who I am and who they are, etc.

But yeah, I'm all about first impressions. Not here, though. I fucked that up pretty bad.

We went to this place called Staglands. It's got animals and walks and stuff. It was sooooo hot.

Making cookies for my mom. Hopefully she'll be happy when she wakes up.

You should want your mom to be happy. After all, she is your mom. But don't make it your burden if she isn't.

Forgive me if I'm assuming too much about your relationship with her.