Pointless Announcements
When I worked in the call center, I had the highest call rate but the lowest target. That's because after a week or two I figured out I should just call the companies less likely to pick up (supermarkets, huge companies like Porsche or Louis Vuitton) or let it ring twice then hang up. My excuse was "But I keep trying and nobody answers!" I completed 12 questionnaires in 2 months, while the daily target was about 7 or 8.
In every field.
I am kind of proud of that.
What are the categories?
Save rate.
Customer Surveys
Quality.
The bad thing is I could do really good. When I started I had the best save rate on the entire floor. Best Quality of my team and my surveys were great.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
The longer you're there, the poorer your work? Sounds like some serious managerial problems.
Si vis pacem, para bellum
Stick it out a little more, maybe they'll lay you off and you can live on the dole for a while.
Hey Noah? are they hiring?
I could get a job there, I do need one, and beat your crappy score I bet. Seeing as I hate talking on the phone to people I don't know, sort of don't like it too much even with people I do know, and menial work, menial anything, makes me want to put a knife to my throat. Yeah. I could beat your scores.
See I am great face to face with people. I can charm the pants off the Devil and sell anyone anything if I need to. I just can't help but dislike the company I work for and being on the phone is not my thing.
And yes the management is a joke.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
Whoa...I've gone all this time never thinking about what the devil wears.
I imagine he would dress fairly well. Vanity is one of the big sins.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
The devil doesn't wear pants. He has hooves.
My back hurt so much I had to call in sick.
I thought the Devil wears Prada?
I just got back from a night out and I wore my boots and am blistered from dancing in them and I didn't kiss even one girl and am going to sleep.
You should have put your moves on more girls.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
I feel really down tonight. I wish I had a ferret. Check how cute this one is.
Our microwave is broken. So bloke thought we'd all go out and go shopping for one tonight. I was like "Ok, but this is just a one off because we need one." You know, because Lucy needs her bath, bottle, etc. I've worked really fucking hard getting these routines in place, I do EVERYTHING. Now Lucy goes down at 7pm, and yes, she still wakes like three times in the night, but at least we get an hour or two to ourselves in the evening.
Blah.
Anyway, bloke got in a big sulk because I made him feel bad, and now he's gone off to get a microwave by himself.
Ugh.
Sarah, is bloke helping you out enough? You're obviously working so hard, and I just really hope he's doing what he can to make it a bit easier for you.
No, he is not helping me out enough. Not at all. I had a wee cry in the bathroom about it before bed last night. I tried to talk to him about it just before, but he just told me to stop trying to have a fight with him.
Hugs, Sarah! Tell him how you feel in a letter perhaps? You are then less likely to be construed as "looking for a fight."
Are your family offering to help at all?
:(
Ugh, I wish I could help you. It must feel awful to not be able to talk to him about it. Well, keep telling him, he must know how you feel and stop thinking about his own feelings for a bit. You're a family now, sacrifices have to be made, and you've made plenty.
I really need to have a talk with bloke.
I promise I won;t break anything he needs.
This is why we can't have nice things.
He probably won't admit he has no idea how to help more or that he's a tad freaked about messing up. I don't know obviously because I'm not there. You ought to try casually giving him exact instructions on how to help, be like, "Okay I need you to sort out the bottles that need washing, the next time Lucy needs changing I need you to do it, can you chuck in a load of laundry for me please," and maybe he'll do all those things? Maybe, "You don't help enough" is too vague and he just gets defensive. Who knows though, some people are pretty poop at helping!
I'm in journalism class and I can't wait to go home. I love love love my MacBook Air, I want to snog its face off.
Sarah, I'm sorry Bloke isn't helping out very much. I know that is very frustrating, especially when you are already exhausted.
Please don't take this the wrong way, as I am definitely not blaming you for his lack of effort.
Quite often, especially with first children, it takes the father longer for the reality of it all to sink in. As a mother you are aware from the very beginning of the little life growing inside of you in a very concrete way, you feel the very first flutters of life, you feel your body change etc. Whereas for many men they are only aware of the fact of a baby in a much more abstract way until much latter in the pregnancy when the changes and movements of the child are completely obvious to an outsider. So the father often has less time to adjust mentally to the reality that there is a baby than the mother does before the birth happens.
Then once the baby is born if the mother happens to be exclusively breastfeeding at first this can leave the father both feeling left out as well as affirming in his mind that baby is mom's job. What is there really for him to do aside from the yucky job of mess cleaning up and bringing the child to mom when it has a need? Not completely satisfying.
As the primary care giver completely in love with your little bundle it can also become very easy to feel nobody else knows exactly how the job needs to be done ( I am not saying you feel this way, but you did mention how hard you have worked towards getting the schedule in order) It is possible that he is feeling shocked by the arrival, excluded in her care and not as competent as you to provide said care, all leading him to avoid putting in the effort you need from him.
I think it is important you express to him just how much you need his help in as loving a way as possible, communicate what her daily needs are clearly, and then you need to allow him to parent Lucy as his own person. What I mean by this is, it is really easy to say things like "No No, you are putting the diaper on her wrong!" instead of just letting him put the damn thing on backwards and later figure out where he went amiss on his own. It isn't the end of the world.
I would suggest writing up what her schedule is and posting it somewhere where it can be seen. Then writing up instructions to things like Bottle making, Bathtime, Bedtime and all of that (including how to test the warmth of bottle and bathwater). Then you sort of just have to be firm and let him know when it is His Turn. If he needs your help he will ask, but don't let him off the hook by taking over, and give encouragement not criticism when he asks for help. He will be proud of himself when he learns that he Can Do this, and he will develop his own little rituals with her and ways of doing things. Bathtime and bedtime may not go exactly the same way when Daddy does them, but the point is the baby is clean and the baby is sleeping when the baby is supposed to be clean and sleeping, and mom is rested and dad feels like an actively participating and competent parent.
Drive by hi!
On a scale of 1 to awesome I'm the sh*t.
Hey! How ya been?
You'd think a pizza oven could cook a can of soup in like... less than 20 mins. But no.
i'm going to see mine tomorrow for a routine checkup.
finally, someone's going to touch me and this dry spell is gonna end.
He's probably letting someone get to second base right now.
I got to talk to my mom again on Skype, and it worked better than it has the last couple of weeks, so I'm happy!
I'm making carrot soup tomorrow, and I'm excited, because last Friday's soup (potato and leek) was freaking great.
Please don't take this the wrong way, as I am definitely not blaming you for his lack of effort.
Quite often, especially with first children, it takes the father longer for the reality of it all to sink in. As a mother you are aware from the very beginning of the little life growing inside of you in a very concrete way, you feel the very first flutters of life, you feel your body change etc. Whereas for many men they are only aware of the fact of a baby in a much more abstract way until much latter in the pregnancy when the changes and movements of the child are completely obvious to an outsider. So the father often has less time to adjust mentally to the reality that there is a baby than the mother does before the birth happens.
Then once the baby is born if the mother happens to be exclusively breastfeeding at first this can leave the father both feeling left out as well as affirming in his mind that baby is mom's job. What is there really for him to do aside from the yucky job of mess cleaning up and bringing the child to mom when it has a need? Not completely satisfying.
As the primary care giver completely in love with your little bundle it can also become very easy to feel nobody else knows exactly how the job needs to be done ( I am not saying you feel this way, but you did mention how hard you have worked towards getting the schedule in order) It is possible that he is feeling shocked by the arrival, excluded in her care and not as competent as you to provide said care, all leading him to avoid putting in the effort you need from him.
I think it is important you express to him just how much you need his help in as loving a way as possible, communicate what her daily needs are clearly, and then you need to allow him to parent Lucy as his own person. What I mean by this is, it is really easy to say things like "No No, you are putting the diaper on her wrong!" instead of just letting him put the damn thing on backwards and later figure out where he went amiss on his own. It isn't the end of the world.
I would suggest writing up what her schedule is and posting it somewhere where it can be seen. Then writing up instructions to things like Bottle making, Bathtime, Bedtime and all of that (including how to test the warmth of bottle and bathwater). Then you sort of just have to be firm and let him know when it is His Turn. If he needs your help he will ask, but don't let him off the hook by taking over, and give encouragement not criticism when he asks for help. He will be proud of himself when he learns that he Can Do this, and he will develop his own little rituals with her and ways of doing things. Bathtime and bedtime may not go exactly the same way when Daddy does them, but the point is the baby is clean and the baby is sleeping when the baby is supposed to be clean and sleeping, and mom is rested and dad feels like an actively participating and competent parent.
I found that enlightening, and I'm neither a woman nor a parent.
Sup Tom
Hey Dan. Not much here. You? How's life?
Could use some better weed.
...and then life would be good?
Life itself?
Of course the power went out in the bar I went on a date, right after we had sat down. Luckily it came back on after about 20 minutes, but it was a bit weird all that time. But I was nice, Amber, we just don't click anymore.
Did you atleast get a free drink for no lights?
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
No. We could've ordered soda or beer or whatever didn't require electricity, but the bar girl went out to call the electricity company, then to check whether it was out on the whole street, and we somehow managed to wait until after she came back to order, and as she was telling us the power would probably be on again at 9.30 pm (that is, 3 hours later), the lights went on, so we got the tea then, in case it went out again. I didn't want soda, obviously.
Oh but I got a sticker for my closet door.
What!!!
Are we breaking up too????
Don't leave me Irina! I Love you!
I'm sorry, you said you can't talk to me again for not seeing Star Wars!
No, I don't know, I'm just not interested anymore. Nothing happened in 3 whole years since we first met at college. We had fun, but not that kind of fun.
Pepper, that's all really good advice, thanks.
I would have thought the fact I've had like three mental breakdowns and am now medicated for the first time in my life would have given him some clue that I need some help, obviously not.
I do feel like I've tried everything, the softly softly loving approach, shouting and crying, lists...which I've made shorter and shorter and shorter. The maternal mental health people are even trying to talk to him about it. Thing is too, he's got these workmates who tell him that they don't do anything, their wives do it all, and say things like "Sarah will have so much free time your house will never be cleaner."
For fucking serious.
So he says things like "You don't know how lucky you've got it." When he helps with one little thing, like passing me a bath towel!
And I go back to work in two weeks, you know what else? I earn more money than him too.
Sorry for the rant people, I feel like this is the only place I can do it without being judged.
Sarah, the only one we'll be judging is him. I'm sorry, but I can't help it.
I'm going to write up a "Lucy's Routine" thing right now.
Lucy slept from 7 to 7 last night! AMAZING! Ok, so she got up at 11.30 for a dream feed, and woke at three and five (I just put her dummy back in her mouth). But that's the least broken sleep I've had in probably over a year.
I would have thought the fact I've had like three mental breakdowns and am now medicated for the first time in my life would have given him some clue that I need some help, obviously not.
I do feel like I've tried everything, the softly softly loving approach, shouting and crying, lists...which I've made shorter and shorter and shorter. The maternal mental health people are even trying to talk to him about it. Thing is too, he's got these workmates who tell him that they don't do anything, their wives do it all, and say things like "Sarah will have so much free time your house will never be cleaner."
For fucking serious.
So he says things like "You don't know how lucky you've got it." When he helps with one little thing, like passing me a bath towel!
And I go back to work in two weeks, you know what else? I earn more money than him too.
Sorry for the rant people, I feel like this is the only place I can do it without being judged.
Ahh the fucker. And all his chauvinistic pig friends too!
I think Tuff does need to have that talk with him. An soon. Someone book his flight to NZ stat.
Seriously, that is just, you've got to be kidding me.
Unfortunately I know you are not. I wonder if he knows how good he's got it? With a partner that has put up with this for how many months?
Does he think this is 1945 or something? If I were you I would threaten to give the workmates a piece of your mind. (I have actually done that with the more obnoxious coworkers and friends of James' in the past. Not just threatened, actually go through with it) I mean who does he value more? The "respect" of a bunch of pig workmates or the health, welfare, well being and love of his woman and child? At the end of the day you DO have all the boobs in the house, not those jerk work friends, maybe he needs a harsh reminder of that.
Seriously, I am glad if the advice helps at all, but I retract my sympathy for him and what I supposed may be his state of mind.
I would give him a piece of MY mind if I could. Do you have any girlfriends who could help you in that regard?
You rant here all you want and don't feel like you need to apologize at all for it.
We love you and Lucy to pieces. And are here for you however we can be, even if that is just for you to get it out and clear your head.
*DeathHug*
Also, WTF? He is all about acting like a decent person who ignores detrimental gender roles and stereotypes as log as he is having fun making curtains and stuff but if there is actual work to be put in he falls on the lazy excuse that his workmates get to treat their wives like shit so he is allowed to do so as well?
Aw, thanks so much Amber.
It's been really really hard.
Like you say, he wants to do fun stuff like making curtains, taking her for drives and his newest thing..."chainsawing". That is taking the chainsaw to all the trees in the backyard while I really need help inside.
I don't breast feed any more, I think I gave Lucy her last feed 2 days ago 
,
I'm on too many drugs, antidepressants and then steroids and antihistimines for the sun allergy which is a reaction to the antidepressants. Plus my supply was just so low from being exhausted. So, Lucy is pretty much fully bottle fed and on three plus solids a day. And I do every single feed.
His workmates are pigs.
I really don't know what to do.
The small of a girls back is the best place to rest your head. Well not the best placew but to sleep. Its tops.
I just want everyone to know that.
And Rosie*, you got some tuff shit going on but your kid is adorable. So just put that kid in more costumes.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
I think you meant Rosie, not pepper, Noah.
It's been really really hard.
Like you say, he wants to do fun stuff like making curtains, taking her for drives and his newest thing..."chainsawing". That is taking the chainsaw to all the trees in the backyard while I really need help inside.
I don't breast feed any more, I think I gave Lucy her last feed 2 days ago ,
I'm on too many drugs, antidepressants and then steroids and antihistimines for the sun allergy which is a reaction to the antidepressants. Plus my supply was just so low from being exhausted. So, Lucy is pretty much fully bottle fed and on three plus solids a day. And I do every single feed.
His workmates are pigs.
I really don't know what to do.
I think you need to remind him who has all the boobs.
Bloke: "I have the penis therefore I get to do anything I want and nothing I don't want."
Sarah: "Okay. Fair enough. But I have all the beautiful plump luscious titties and I think that is probably what you want most, so maybe take notice of what I want and need or you ain't getting anything you really want."
My manager informed me today that I have the lowest stats on the team.
In every field.
I am kind of proud of that.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy