please list weird pet peeves of yours

If it were real mayonaise then I think my taste buds just died. But I have been known to eat a cheese sandwich or blt with a little miracle whip.

It's act of eating mayo, however gross I think it tastes, that bothers me... it's the sloppy saps who drip mayo all over themselves squeezing it out the sides and back and dripping all over and loving it like a porn star eating a whipped man sauce sandwich. It's disturbing and gross.

Well what's fake mayonnaise? I remember a kid on MTV ate an entire jar of mayonnaise in spoonfuls for backstage passes to a Korn concert. It was on TRL. Fuck yeah, 90s.

I know! People say it every time anything happens. It got old a long time ago.

Miracle Whip / "salad dressing"

Stone-fuck-ass-cold-evil minds behind this commercial. Indecent people.

That's why it's not called mayonnaise. Because it's salad dressing (but why would anyone put it on salad? gross).

Salad dressing is delicious on a white bread and tomato sandwich.

Anyone ever see that one movie Toys where Joan Cusack is eating mayonnaise sandwiches with vitamin pills smooshed into it?

Used to do that too. When I was fifteen I was a lab-rat for these...I don't even remember who they were, but the pills were hard to swallow. I also stuffed them in macaroni noodles. By hard to swallow I mean I was afraid of pills. My mum suspected I was hooked on ecstasy in those days, too, and that was my defense. I can't do that, Mum! I'm afraid of pills!

It bothers me when people I don't know come up to me and say "You're so and so right?"

Also, people who don't know when to back off. If I tell you to go away, GO AWAY. I'm not afraid to get my ultimate fighter on.

Answering their own questions in the form of a question.

"Amy call back yet? No?"

"You goin' out tanight? Yah?"

And these aren't even WEIRD pet peeves. They're normal things that SHOULD bother you. We're all idiots.

I really hate it when people end sentences with "yeah", but I think it's mostly an English thing.

The paper cutter cutting paper freaks me out. It's like nails on a chalkboard.
I just had to cut 3,083 flyers for summer reading. FML.

None of these are weird pet peeves.

I get pissed when people don't know Mark Holton and Kurt Fuller by name.

When someone says, "I'm gonna pray for you."

Neat people that have no clue where their shit is that tell me I am disorganized because I have 12+ piles of unfinished projects lying around. I know right where everything is all the time.

Neat people that know where their stuff is only irritate me a little, but that's because they are better at finishing things than I am.

I still think that this is a weird pet peeve: I hate clusters, like drawings of clusters of cells or plaque build-up (like those commercials for Plavix).
-People who are mean to animals...Probably VERY normal.
-People who don't have basic grade 3 spelling and grammar down by now (you're/your, etc)
......normal, I think. Or at least they should be, especially on a writer's webpage.
-Girls who are "bi" when they are drunk or in front of a guy they like or who "likes to make out with girls but would never be in a relationship with one" (I don't dislike girls that do that, they can make out with whoever they want. It's just if they claim to be bisexual and say that) Thanks for making a huge part of who I am in my sexuality a joke that people will take even less seriously...I honestly don't know if this is weird.
-Even though I've quit smoking for 6 months now, anti-smokers......kinda weird, but okay, nothing too strange.
-When I am having insomnia and someone says, "Well, why don't you just go to bed?"....okay, so that's probably a pretty normal one.

So, here is my new list, and I assure you, these ones are weird:

-Clusters. I hate the word. I hate the way it looks when tiny things are packed together, like cells or plaque buildup on TV, like that commercial for Plavix.

-The sentence "Cluster of Eggs". I have no real explanation for this one, it just disgusts me.

-When my boyfriend won't watch porn with me or talk about the hotness of other women...I assume this is weird for most women.

-How it is acceptable to use the words "past" and "passed" in the same way. It should be, "He walked passed her" not "He walked past her".

-People who believe that Anna Nicole Smith's boyfriend/lawyer killed her or that there was a conspiracy

-When people idolize famous people who were/are zonked out on drugs but then you snort a line of coke and it's time for an intervention

-The way obese people breathe. Mean. I know. But it's honestly a pet peeve.

-Ovaries and the idea of women having eggs.

-When people call me on the phone instead of texting first....I hate the phone.

-Sleep....It's a waste of time.

-Rita Cosby

-The term "bi-sexual".

-Eating in front of people

-Compliments...I honestly don't know how to take them, and I don't usually trust when they are given.

I'll leave it at that. That's a fair bit.

Not weird, but definitely a pet peeve:

- People that don't close the door behind them. Sitting in the reception area at work has made me so much more aware of this annoying habit people have to not give a shit.

I'm a bit neurotic about doors.

It irritates me to no end when someone alters the state I have decided a door needs to be.

If I am in my room and someone enters and shuts the door when I had it open, or leaves it open when I had it shut, or if I am on the front porch and someone comes out and leaves the door open or whatever. I try to stop myself but I always end up going and fixing it.

Worst is when I am in a room with two doors and I have one open and the other shut and someone comes in and opens the shut one and shuts the open one and then walks away.

Drives me insane.

It sounds kind of OCD when I write it out like that, but it is that I had already settled on whether I had wanted to be shut up or openly exposed and someone just came along and altered the whole state of things with no care.

Years ago when I was staying in my empty house that was for sale I used to have to leave often for a while for Realtor's to show the place and when I would come back every interior door in the house would be wide open and I had to go around and shut all the rooms again.

It was even weirder on the occasional instance when they wouldn't alert me that they were coming and I would wake up from a nap or something and emerge out the the rest of the house (I was staying in a lower room people often missed noticing) and all the doors would be open, it would be the only sign that strangers had been wandering around while I slept without being aware I was there or vice versa.

One realtor in particular called me one day because she was concerned that it had felt like someone was in the house when she was there and it was making her crazy with the creeps. "Oh, sorry, that was me, yeah, I was sleeping down in the lower room. next time call first and I will leave."

creepy for me too. As if staying for months alone in the empty house you grew up in wasn't creepy enough.

When walking down the hall, I always used to bug my sister by just slightly opening her door when she had it closed. If she had it open, I'd just flip the light switch and close the door. So... much... stress comes from something like that. I always kept my door closed and locked.

• Brothers

When everyone else in the family soils (?) the butter knives and teaspoons all the way to the hilt.

When someone else puts dirty glasses in the kitchen sink, on top of greasy plates, bowls, pots etc.

Racist.

I hate my pet Peeve. Peeve pees everywhere.

I've picked up a lot of weird pet peeves from working at the restaurant.

Any little stain or spot on a dish I throw it back in the sink to get rewashed it's really bad.

I get tearyeyed and upset when I see a man eating on his own in a restraunt. A woman on her own is fine because they can look so comfort and elegant in their own company. When I worked in a bar and restraunt I would make a guy sitting at a table on his own sit at the bar and I would chat to him.

I can't have any clock or watch in my room. I can hear the ticking and it's very annoying. I have one clock in my room, and that's a silent one.

I love that.

I always read when I'm eating alone so no one feels they ought to talk to me.

People who use these things still annoy me:

I hate when I'm eating alone in a restaurant and people try to talk to me.

So... there you are.

That's because you're secretly a celebrity. "No autographs pleaz."

My pet peeve is people leaving pointless answer phone messages on our landline. i.e. "It's only me, I'll call back later". Delete. My boyfriend's mother does this every day at supper time. THE REASON WHY WE'RE NOT ANSWERING IS BECAUSE YOU ARE INTERUPTING OUR DINNER, FOOL!

I haaaaaaate those pointless messages. "Hey, it's me. Just wanted to say hi. Call me back." That's what the missed call function is for, people! That just leaves a very annoying voicemail alert that won't go away until I call it, hear that annoying machine ask me for my password, then say the entire number and date/time of the call before playing the message.

Yeah, but you can adjust your settings to bypass all that, right?

Unless you're not talking about a cell phone.

Instant rice annoys me, too. Would it really kill a person to spend 20 minutes on some goddamn rice?

But those settings are important in case of an emergency. If my phone was off, so I don't get a missed call alert, I want a means to know the time a message was given, and in case I don't recognize the person, I'd also readily have a callback number. Those pointless messages don't occur often enough for me to get rid of those little perks.

If I had to put in a password to check my voicemail, I would adjust to living my life with that damn voicemail icon. It would be difficult and take many years of intense rehabilitation but I think, eventually, I could live an almost normal life.

#first world problems

I know that's not what Justin is complaining about but the existence of instant rice baffles me too. Especially when it's not even like adding some combination of flavors that perhaps one might be too lazy or intimidated to replicate. But just plain white instant rice? Who's that for? Someone who suffers from sudden, crippling hunger and enough foresight to buy the box of rice weeks in advance of hunger but not enough foresight to start cooking it more than 5 minutes before total starvation?

Okay, as a former cashier, those dividers serve a purpose. There are people who have one order and a random space in the middle, and there are people who are not together but there items are all bunched together. Because they're fuckheads. Plain and simple. I don't have time to stop every 3 items and say "Is this yours, too?" Those things exist so that I don't start ringing up someone else's stuff, and then have to listen to them bitch about it. I got a bit testy with someone one day coz he copped an attitude with me when I starting ringing up his stuff and I grabbed the divider and said "That's what these are for."

I hate when people tell me my business. Literally. I sell a lot of herbal based products in my store and for instance, one woman berated me for having listed a ginseng product as decaf. I don't have time in my day to explain the difference between ginseng and caffeine more than that they are similar but complete different sources of energy. Nor do I have time to then explain how we "take the caffeine out," if you still don't understand that they're completely separate things.

Another thing I don't understand is the blank stare. When people file a complaint or make a suggestion about something which I have absolutely no worldy control, all I can do is explain why things are the way that they are, and apologize that it can't be changed. Which is almost always met with a goddamned slack-jaw silent stare for around a full minute. It goes something like this:

Customer: I just want plain green tea. Nothing else in it. But your green tea tastes too... green.
Me: Are you sure you're brewing at the correct temperature and time?
Customer: Yes, but it's just... too green.
Me: I'm very sorry about that. If you'd like I can provide you with a list of other tea manufacturers.
Customer: I just don't get why it tastes so strongly of green tea.
Me: I'm... sorry.
Customer: BLANK ASS STARE
Me: ...
Customer: BLANK STARE
Me: Have a nice day, good luck to you.
Customer: BLANK STARE.

Maybe she was stuck. You could've at least slapped her on the head and tried to un-jam her, since you couldn't help with the other thing.

This drives me crazy. So, you're in line at the store in front of the counter. As you watch the customer that is being waited on at the counter, the person behind them is literally up their ass. It's like, dude step the fuck back and give the person some room while their waited on. Then when the person being waited on goes to turn and leave, they about step on the person behind them, because they are right up their ass. When I'm the one being waited on, when I turn to go and someone is up my ass, I make sure and say "excuse me", very rudely. I guess to try and let them know, hey you stupid fuck, you are next and you are going to get waited on. You don't need to be all up in my personal space while I'm being waited on. Yeah, that shit makes me crazy.