please list weird pet peeves of yours
The four black people that you've met would get it and the other 90% of everyone that don't give a shit about fish, too!
four black people, thats funny.
What's funny is that 90 percent of ALL the people you've met can't pronounce your last name, yet ALL the black people you've met can't pronounce your first name.
It's just true. I've been waiting to hear melody instead of melondy since I was a kid. It has never happened. But yeah, occasionally people get my last name right.
I honestly always thought "Kipper" in my head when I saw your last name, and if we ever meet I'm gonna be the first whitey to call you Melondy.
- Dogs in any kind of place where they serve food/drinks. Bars, restaurants, etc. I'm looking at you, San Francisco.
I also have a problem with slow walkers and slow talkers, too. Move! Spit it out!
The dogs everywhere bug me, and it's not the same thing as a child! I complained on a recent flight because some stupid dog was uncrated on the floor next to me. I was told that it could be uncrated because it was an "emotional support animal". I didn't even know that existed, but it's now a peeve.
Wow, and I thought "Helper Monkey" was my goal. I know long for an "Emotional Support Platypus"!
Tuffy the Dump Truck may rarely increase the risk of a heart attack or stroke. The risk may be greater if you have heart disease or increased risk for heart disease (for example, due to smoking, family history of heart disease, or conditions such as high blood pressure or diabetes), or with longer use. Tuffy should not be taken right before or after heart bypass surgery. Also, Tuffy may infrequently cause serious (rarely fatal) bleeding from the stomach or intestines. This effect can occur without warning symptoms at any time while taking Tuffy. Older adults may be at higher risk for this effect. (See also Precautions and Drug Interactions sections.) Stop taking Tuffy and get medical help right away if you notice any of the following rare but serious side effects: bloody or black/tarry stools, persistent stomach/abdominal pain, vomit that looks like coffee grounds, chest/jaw/left arm pain, shortness of breath, unusual sweating, weakness on one side of the body, sudden vision changes, slurred speech. Ask your doctor if Tuffy is right for you.
Wow, and I thought "Helper Monkey" was my goal. I know long for an "Emotional Support Platypus"!
All you need is a Doctor's note!
"Emotional Support/Psychiatric Service Animals - An Emotional Support or Psychiatric Service Animal can only be used by persons with a diagnosed mental or emotional disorder and need not have specific training for that function but must be trained to behave appropriately in a public setting."
http://help.jetblue.com/SRVS/CGI-BIN/webisapi.dll/,/?St=129,E=0000000000...
If they're crazy enough to need an "emotional support animal" why can't the doctor just prescribe them a stuffed animal?
The last flight I took I was freaked out when after having been in the air for over an hour I suddenly found out the guy sitting next to me had a little dog tucked between his feet. Obviously the animal was behaving perfectly well if it took me that long to notice it was there, but what bugged me was the fact that no one mentioned that there was an animal in the first place. If I had stepped on it or kicked it by accident I probably would have been the one thought of as cruel or inconsiderate, plus what if I had been allergic? Would it have taken half the flight for me to feel sicker and sicker before realising the cause?
The thing that really irks me though, is people who think it is ok for a little lap dog to behave viciously, who laugh at it because the thing is so small. It is not ok. I'm just trying to walk around Home Depot and pick out a new shovel or some paintand this unruly, snarly little monster of an animal freaks out on me in a way that is obvious it would go straight for my throat if it was big enough and the owner just chuckles about it? Not just the owner but others watching too? Give me a fucking break. The thing wanting to kill me is not cute and adorable just because it is tiny. If my german shepard behaved like that I'd be charged with keeping a dangerous animal.
"Emotional Support/Psychiatric Service Animals - An Emotional Support or Psychiatric Service Animal can only be used by persons with a diagnosed mental or emotional disorder and need not have specific training for that function but must be trained to behave appropriately in a public setting."
http://help.jetblue.com/SRVS/CGI-BIN/webisapi.dll/,/?St=129,E=0000000000029533814,K=2846,Sxi=15,Case=obj%281095%29
I am so there!
Anyone know where can acquire a platypus?
Or maybe a baby pygmy hippo?
Tuffy the Dump Truck may rarely increase the risk of a heart attack or stroke. The risk may be greater if you have heart disease or increased risk for heart disease (for example, due to smoking, family history of heart disease, or conditions such as high blood pressure or diabetes), or with longer use. Tuffy should not be taken right before or after heart bypass surgery. Also, Tuffy may infrequently cause serious (rarely fatal) bleeding from the stomach or intestines. This effect can occur without warning symptoms at any time while taking Tuffy. Older adults may be at higher risk for this effect. (See also Precautions and Drug Interactions sections.) Stop taking Tuffy and get medical help right away if you notice any of the following rare but serious side effects: bloody or black/tarry stools, persistent stomach/abdominal pain, vomit that looks like coffee grounds, chest/jaw/left arm pain, shortness of breath, unusual sweating, weakness on one side of the body, sudden vision changes, slurred speech. Ask your doctor if Tuffy is right for you.
Also, (in hotels for sure) you are legally not allowed to ask for a doctors note for an ADA Animal. I've had people come to the hotel with their Seeing Eye Parrots and Comfort Rabbits and all sorts of strange animals.
If someone asks you for proof, you can sue under the Americans with Disibilites Act.
You know in all the years I've been here I've never been sigged?
Will my insurance cover an Emotional Support Penguin, I wonder?
Wouldn't you find this soothing?
Tuffy the Dump Truck may rarely increase the risk of a heart attack or stroke. The risk may be greater if you have heart disease or increased risk for heart disease (for example, due to smoking, family history of heart disease, or conditions such as high blood pressure or diabetes), or with longer use. Tuffy should not be taken right before or after heart bypass surgery. Also, Tuffy may infrequently cause serious (rarely fatal) bleeding from the stomach or intestines. This effect can occur without warning symptoms at any time while taking Tuffy. Older adults may be at higher risk for this effect. (See also Precautions and Drug Interactions sections.) Stop taking Tuffy and get medical help right away if you notice any of the following rare but serious side effects: bloody or black/tarry stools, persistent stomach/abdominal pain, vomit that looks like coffee grounds, chest/jaw/left arm pain, shortness of breath, unusual sweating, weakness on one side of the body, sudden vision changes, slurred speech. Ask your doctor if Tuffy is right for you.
Gah, ya'll are a buncha bitches.
Just kiddin.
When someone puts their hand on me when they talk to me, as if to hold me in place or I will float away when they enlighten me with the knowledge they are giving me. I know they are just being friendly, or maybe they took some kind of sales/ body language seminar on how to feign "closeness" but I am too busy thinking that they are giving me signals that they want to fuck me to even listen to what they are saying, which is probably the opposite effect that they want. A little pat on the shoulder is not what I'm talking about though, I mean like when someone grips your arm or puts their hand on your knee when they are talking to you. Creeps me the fuck out.
I would be greatly soothed by the penguin. I need to find some way to have a helper monkey.
You know in all the years I've been here I've never been sigged?
"Det var så FUNNY, liksom." Ugggh.
This. Additionally, it reminds me that I hate people who seem to compulsively put "liksom" or "ass" at the end of almost every sentence. Or regarding the latter, using it 2-3 times for every bloody sentence longer than 5 words.
Being a grammar freak in Norway makes for a sad existence.
And in other news, I will now be adding "liksom" onto the end of every third sentence. Dunno what it means, but I like it. Starting now, liksom.
Tuffy the Dump Truck may rarely increase the risk of a heart attack or stroke. The risk may be greater if you have heart disease or increased risk for heart disease (for example, due to smoking, family history of heart disease, or conditions such as high blood pressure or diabetes), or with longer use. Tuffy should not be taken right before or after heart bypass surgery. Also, Tuffy may infrequently cause serious (rarely fatal) bleeding from the stomach or intestines. This effect can occur without warning symptoms at any time while taking Tuffy. Older adults may be at higher risk for this effect. (See also Precautions and Drug Interactions sections.) Stop taking Tuffy and get medical help right away if you notice any of the following rare but serious side effects: bloody or black/tarry stools, persistent stomach/abdominal pain, vomit that looks like coffee grounds, chest/jaw/left arm pain, shortness of breath, unusual sweating, weakness on one side of the body, sudden vision changes, slurred speech. Ask your doctor if Tuffy is right for you.
FWDers. Hate em.
I'm not the wisest man in the world, but I'm pretty sure forwarding this "inspirational" all caps, written in willy-nilly verse, all bolded email to 15 of the people on my contact list is going to turn my life around.
Also, yeah, I don't want to see people eating poop, even if they're hot. So just stop.
Even if you thought of a hilarious caption to send along, I don't want to see:
• Dicks photoshopped to look like vaginas or animals
• Vaginas photoshopped to look like dicks or animals or cartoon characters
• Really big dicks that are painted funny
• Really big vaginas that are painted funny or made to look like dicks or animals
• Any variation of these things
• Really fat people doing it
Haha, if you knew what it meant you wouldn't say it.
It means "like".
"That's like so funny."
Just kiddin.
When someone puts their hand on me when they talk to me, as if to hold me in place or I will float away when they enlighten me with the knowledge they are giving me. I know they are just being friendly, or maybe they took some kind of sales/ body language seminar on how to feign "closeness" but I am too busy thinking that they are giving me signals that they want to fuck me to even listen to what they are saying,
The next time someone does it, fuck them! That'll show 'em!
"Oh you want to get close? Fine, let's get close!"
People who tell the same stories over and over like they're telling them for the first time, waking up alone, People who use to do drugs talking about why people shouldn't do them, The snow melting no more awesome snow and more flu on its way.
For 85c ill tell you if you stink
for $5 ill tell you what the stink resembles
and for $10 ill tell you if it's permanent.
^^my grandmama
She's old, give her a break!
miss-chee-vee-ous
“if you want to be a bird,” you said once, “with colorful plumage and buoyant trills, you must also be ready for hollow bones."
It hurts me physically when people say "Really?" and "Seriously?" in that high singy questiony voice. I don't know why, but it stabs my head through my ears.
I'm watching the Opening Day Parade on tv and they keep showing a bunch of people riding unicycles, bicycles and skateboards and whatever and every single one of them is wearing those goofy looking retarded-kids hockey helmets.
It doesn't really bother me when I see kids out in the street wearing them, I can see with wanting to keep kids safe, even though I think it's ridiculously over-protective, but when you or a group are in something as organized or professional as a parade or show, you shouldn't be wearing those helmets, like you're still an amateur. Get out there and show people that you know what you're doing, you candyasses!
What about when someone does the "O RLY?" thing where they say it like "No duhh?"
I miss "Durr".
When I say "ORLY?", I say it "orally?" It amuses me.
THATS SO +3 STILETTO DUDE
Aurally?
Because 70% of the time it's about them and not interesting.
And the other 30% of the time it's just a dumb idea they came up with while they were drunk, i.e. - what if pandas took over the world? what if the soul of John Stamos got trapped in Dakota Fanning's leg?
I always tell them I've got my own stuff, but the having to listen to it portion is just unbearable.
I'm going to be honest, if you remove the leg aspect and it was just about John Stamos trapped in Dakota Fanning's body... I'd read that.
Those people who like to chime in on converstaions and give their two cents when they have no business speaking to begin with...
When you are trying to tell a story and that one person who has to one up you on EVERYFUCKINGTHING.
Tapping with the damn pencil, pen, whatever. Just tapping.
And I suppose working in a library does this to you but... I like things to be in order. I like things to neat and in a perfect little pile.
Soggy fries. I will inspect every fry before I eat them. The rejects go on a napkin. Lol.
The best thing about dreams is that fleeting moment, when you are between asleep and awake, when you don't know the difference between reality and fantasy, when for just that one moment you feel with your entire soul that the dream is reality, and it really happened.
people who put ketchup on napkins should be punished.
Yea, that is gross because then you get napkin pieces in your ketchup...
The best thing about dreams is that fleeting moment, when you are between asleep and awake, when you don't know the difference between reality and fantasy, when for just that one moment you feel with your entire soul that the dream is reality, and it really happened.
-This is a REALLY weird pet peeve, but I hate clusters, like drawings of clusters of cells or plaque build-up (like those commercials for Plavix).
-People who are mean to animals.
-People who don't have basic grade 3 spelling and grammar down by now (you're/your, etc)
-Girls who are "bi" when they are drunk or in front of a guy they like or who "likes to make out with girls but would never be in a relationship with one" (I don't dislike girls that do that, they can make out with whoever they want. It's just if they claim to be bisexual and say that) Thanks for making a huge part of who I am in my sexuality a joke that people will take even less seriously.
-Even though I've quit smoking for 6 months now, anti-smokers.
-When I am having insomnia and someone says, "Well, why don't you just go to bed?"
-I don't know, I have a lot of pet peeves. A lot of them have to do with the english language. I'm not in any shape to be writing anything. I actually should be making an attempt at going to bed...I hope this doesn't sound ridiculous.
"Imperfection is beauty. Madness is genius. And it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. And when it comes down to it, I let them think what they want. If they care enough to bother with what I do, I'm already better than them."-Marilyn Monroe
"You see things and say 'Why?', I dream things that never were and say 'Why not?'"-Bobby Kennedy
I don't eat much ketchup but I always figured when you do that with ketchup or whatever condiment that you automatically write the bottom portion off as lost. If you run out, just squirt some more on there. That you don't eat all the way down to the napkin.
i wipe the packet down, tear off a corner then suck the ketchup out.
don't judge.
don't judge.
For real?! Lol. That's eek. Lol.
I don't like ketchup very much...
The best thing about dreams is that fleeting moment, when you are between asleep and awake, when you don't know the difference between reality and fantasy, when for just that one moment you feel with your entire soul that the dream is reality, and it really happened.
yeah, i don't put the entire packet in my mouth or lick the whole thing or anything.
it's just the corner and i do wipe it down, but still...
don't judge
would it help if i've been told i look like a rabbit when i do that? a disgusting rabbit though but you know.
Eh, Not really. Lol. I like bunnies.
The best thing about dreams is that fleeting moment, when you are between asleep and awake, when you don't know the difference between reality and fantasy, when for just that one moment you feel with your entire soul that the dream is reality, and it really happened.
I can't stand it when my mother refers to my oldest son as "G". It's ok for me to do it when I'm typing, but I don't call him "G" because I named him Giancarlo, which is an awesome name, and that's what she needs to call him as well. And it is not okay for her new boyfriend to refer to my son as "G-man". Stop that!
It bothers me when my brother's girlfriend refers to both of my brothers as "the boys". First of all, they are grown men, and secondly, they're not yours, so shut up.
...when you're at lunch with a friend[s] and when we are asked 'together or separate,' they look at me whilst their wallet/purse is nowhere in sight.
presumptuous much?
you're the noose and I'm the neck,
but we'd be so perfect for each other.
My single biggest pet peeve is work related; I despise people who ask for help or advice and then argue with you because they don't like what you have to say. This also extends to people who have asked for help recently and then suddenly think they are experst or know more than you because they heard something from someone.
Disgusting.
The four black people that you've met would get it and the other 90% of everyone that don't give a shit about fish, too!
four black people, thats funny.
What's funny is that 90 percent of ALL the people you've met can't pronounce your last name, yet ALL the black people you've met can't pronounce your first name.
Maybe SHE'S saying it wrong.
I just went back and reread the original post title, and virtually none of the things we have listed are strange or weird.
When little kids stare at me.
Start inventing some. Make em doubleplus weird too.
THATS SO +3 STILETTO DUDE
It really bothers me when people eat sandwiches with mayonaise and squeeze it out the bottom.
I don't like ketchup and mayonaise being mixed together. ( a result of a disgusting joke taken too far and the image of the two together now curdles my stomach)
I don't like people with large feet wearing colorful or multi colored shoes, it makes me think of clowns.
I don't like when people make sounds other than a normal sneezing sound when they sneeze.
I don't like when a waiter or waitress doesn't set my food down for me.
I don't like when people of different ethnic backgrounds eat at a chinese restaurant (other than white or black)... it sounds racist; but really it just makes me think how much happier I'd be eating sushi, korean,thai, mexican, etc.
I didn't make any of those up but i thought they were mostly odd enough to fit the bil. In retrospect I think I just have issues with food.
I've had a problem with ketchup packets ever since third grade when I got four swats for stomping on one during recess and it squirted up onto some girl's dress.
I'm sure if I was filmed looking at a ketchup packet that I'd have one of them micro-expressions of a sneer.
During my lunch break, I sit in the corner of the food court and put on my headphones and escape. Then my very short partially brain damaged co-worker comes up to me and starts talking to me. I feel obligated to remove an earphone to listen to him lay on how awful his day is going and how useless everyone in front end is or how he has to start taking vicodins now or how his back hurts and how he was treated this badly when he worked at Chick Fil-A or how great it was back in Philly. I don't want to hear it.
This guy is for real.
My brand new 2011 halloween comp:
http://soundcloud.com/brosupremo/hallowmix-2-the-deadening/s-BKf8z
I used to eat mayonnaise sandwiches when I was a small child. Just mayonnaise...on two breads...sandwiched together...nothing else.
I used to eat mayonnaise sandwiches when I was a small child. Just mayonnaise...on two breads...sandwiched together...nothing else.
YOU SICK BASTARD!
/runs away pointing
This, also when I am in the shower. Added annoyance for the phrase, "Ummm, could you put a towel or something on?" right before asking me to get something the next time I go to the store or if you can watch a movie. You opened the shower door for THAT!??
Mom's gonna fix it all soon.