Other Forums, Other Posts

You can just keep posting more!

I don't visit any other forums.

Is this other forums we post on?

I found a post on another forum (one I never heard of or posted on) a while back that hurt me considerably initially. It was about my brother being a douchebag and being dead. I got over it fairly quickly, at least over my first reaction to tell people on the internet off, that only lasted about five minutes. I came to my senses and just started wondering if I have ever been the asshole that ruined someones day by an accidentally found internet post.

And about a year before this happen I had wish he would go out and get him self killed after he stole like 5 bucks from me. Now look what happen.

http://www.yotatech.com/f5/dont-wish-bad-thing-people-168486/

Karma sucks and it finally caught up to the kid from what I see, theives are worthless scum, when your a moron, natural selection kicks in, Sadly not enough thats why the planet is overpopulated. There was a kid who used to pick on me, and beat his mom up in middle school he dropped out freshman year, he was drunk, stole a buncha guns, stole a truck, and didn't have his seatbelt on, kid ran from the cops and crashed into a silo a block from my house and got decapitated. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my life. People are like "oh thats so sad" I say, if he wasn't a flippin idiot none of that would have happened to him. And if your asking whether you should go to his funeral, the guy didn't respect you or your property, so why respect him or his family? Don't feel bad about it.

Deserved early death for stealing $5 when he was 16.

*holds back posting more asshole quotes from that shit*

Doubt he stole it maliciously, if at all anyway. He had a steady job since he was 13, and by the time he was 16 two, and at one point three, jobs. He had close to 5 grand saved in his bank account when he passed and everyone thought he was a "rich kid" because he had nice things he earned and bought for himself.

Anyway, not meaning to fuck your topic up Subby, these weren't fishing posts. They just came to my mind. Hope others post happy funny stuff.

Angels on the sideline
To anyone reading this: You are one of the angels on the sideline. I know this because, were you not, you would be far too consumed with the hedonistic excess of pop culture to be analyzing the deeper meanings of Tool songs. Angels because, though we came into this world through the womb, we came here from elsewhere, including the Angelic Realms. What sets us apart from human souls is that while true humans exist completely within the illusion of the matrix with no connection to the beyond, the veil is lifted unto a minute corner for us. We "angels" have all come here with missions, though less than three percent of us have ever proven to fulfill them, including all of the ascended masters who have returned.. That is why we are "angels on the sideline".

Our seemingly insignifigant connection to the Higher Realms is far more than what is available to true humans because of the prison that has been constructed around them. It is this connection that we have spent our lives calling our "intuition", an intuition that has always led us against the grain, beyond the norms (the walls of the prison), to know always that things are not the way that they should be. We question everything and take nothing at face value, rejecting the grain fed to the sheeple (ie - a "corn-fed" story), knowing that the truth must be sought as it is not freely given in this prison called Earth. Do you know why you ponder the meaning of anything, let alone Tool songs? You are seeking that connection to the truth, to the True Light of The Father, that was all but severed by the veil upon your current incarnation. Yet as beings who accepted assignments to come here at this time to help facilitate the ascending of Earth back to the 5th dimension, we are born with our "third eyes" cracked open, and despite our best efforts, we can not truly finish the severing of that connection. Despite the mistakes we make and the pain that we unintendingly rain down upon those we love (the new kharma that we risk incurring by accepting these assignments), we can recognize our misdeeds through the single ray of connection, our intuition (conciousness), that far too many others seem not to possess.

Yet it is not enough for us to seek out the truth, remember why we are here, and contemplate the ramifications of such. For until we get off of our fat, lazy asses and choose to do the actions of releasing the chains that we have come to identify through the experience of our slavery, we are not only a frustration to those who sent us here and watch over us, waiting for us to connect to them for Guidance, but we are IRRELEVANT. If it is not we who choose to get off of the fence, if it is not us who will choose to come in from the sidelines and onto the battlefield, then there is no one here, in the now, to fight this battle when it matters most. Our Guidance cannot do it for us; they are already up to their necks in shit fighting the war against the Opposition in the "out there". They are most willing and deicated, however, to letting the shit rise three feet above their heads in order to guide us through the battle here, if only we reach out and latch onto that connection we have with them, fully surrendering our own obnoxious self wills to embrace the Higher Will and Guidance mediated to us through them by Father. (Yes, I am the fucking king of run-on sentences!)

I have rambled enough for now and leave you with a question that has been posed before by others:

How will you bear it, knowing for the rest of Eternity, that the one lifetime that really counted, the one beyond all of those you have lived and learned from before, was the one lifetime that you did NOT step up to the task?

You are an angel. Understand it. and then, goddamnit, have the balls to fucking BE ONE!

Sometimes you can really tell someone's age and how much time they have on their hands just by their posts on the internet.

I should point out that this is about the Tool song "Right in Two", and that this is a small example of why the world (and Tool) hates Tool fans.

I don't visit other forums, but I wish I could post things from the Linkin Park forum I was hanging out at 8 years ago, that would've been amusing.

I went and pulled a random post from the public section of a forum I haven't posted on in three years.

That's classic, what a dork. It's good Maynard has moved onto Puscifer as a new outlet for his music, bypassing all of the more retarted Tool fans.

I was browsing on this Thai site, looking at their Muay Thai stuff. Believe it or not, it's cheaper to buy Muay Thai gloves straight from Thailand because there is no mark-up. The most expensive thing is the shipping and they're still cheaper than buying the exact same gloves here.

Anyway...

Some of the stuff they had written on the site was absolutely hilarious. I know it's all the language barrier and the order we put our words in, but some of it just seemed like gibberish. I'm going to log onto it when I get to work and try to copy some stuff for you guys.

This exchange, from the A/V Club review of I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell:

This dude is real!?
I've only heard Tucker discussed as some internet fad. I honestly was under the impression that he was some Ax Body Spray viral marketing.

Wait til you see the movie's climax... featuring Tucker's character successfully performing Double Pits to Chesty.

Wow.

I like this game. Laughing at humanity is one of my all time favorites!

one of the most hilarious/horrifying accounts I've heard of lately:

this reminds me of the grossest thing I have ever heard, from the local Brismetal forum a couple of years ago,...this dude was in a 69 with this chick she was on top, he was munching away and worms came out of her bum and onto his face i'm dry wretching as I type, fucken minging!

Ugh. Not cool.

responses included:

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

D:

Well I wish I hadn't clicked on this thread.

wow great now we have our own thread with that disgusting filth but i think we've had worse threads that i cannot recall because i had them surgically removed from my brain forever.

Grilled cheese sandwich.

From this article on how much of a huge cunt Madonna is:

I imagine that, at this point, her vagina must resemble one of those old wallets you see for sale on Indian reservations in Arizona, which appear to be made of leather a full half-inch thick that's been baked in a coal-fired oven for the last twenty years until it cracks and leather-dust flakes off it every time you open it up.

Some gems from an article about how the Friar's Club was going to roast Quentin Tarantino.

But he's a great guy. One thing we can all agree on is that Quentin is, genuinely, a great guy. He grates on your nerves, and Deathproof grated on my patience!

Ahhh. Don't look at me like that, Q-T. You knew the Deathproof jokes were coming. Deathproof! God that movie sucked. You're just lucky your career is Deathproof, and that movie proved it!

I'm kidding, of course. It was actually a pretty entertaining movie. I loved the part where that hot chick shot up all those guys with the machine gun on her leg. That next movie with all the boring women talking for three hours, though... holy crap that was bad.

Quentin, you're someone who's had movies bring you a lot of joy into your life. So I hope after tonight, you'll bring some joy into others people's lives, by which I mean: stop making movies.

You know, a lot o people say your films are all style and no substance. But I say -- what style?

Some people say that you're arrogant, but I heard that your next project is a humble adaptation of a Dave Eggers book. Still, I don't think shortening the title to "Work of Staggering Genius" will help with your critics.

Finally Quentin, there are so many terrific quotes from your movies, and so many culturally hip people quote them, so I just want to say: Fuck you for ruining McDonalds for the rest of us.

Oh I see we have Sam Jackson up here on the dais with us. [applause] Sam Jackson...the "Bad Motherfucker." You know what was bad motherfucker? JUMPER.

How many movies were you in this past year? 20? Jesus man, get a hobby. I mean other than collecting wigs. This guy. This guy spends more money on wigs than Donald Trump. He spends more time under strange men's little black curly hairs than Lisa Lampanelli.

I hope you're all enjoying your meals tonight. I had the fish, Don Rickles had the steak, and as usual, Quentin Tarantino sucked Harvey Weinstein's cock. What can I say, the man loves to eat. You know what Tarantino calls a Quarter Pounder? Another order to his coke dealer! Look at him sitting there laughing! What a great smile. The Crypt Keeper called, he wants his teeth back.

Quentin here, he's like me, he was brought up in the church. You can tell this from all the complex religious subtext in his movies. See, I spent my formative years getting down on my knees to pray. He spent his formative years getting down on his knees to suck the sister's toes. He put Travolta in his movie 'cause Travolta volunteered to suck the priest's dick; he felt like he owed him one.

Speaking of people who dick for Quentin Tarantino, Uma Thurman is here tonight. Uma, stand up. Show these lovely people what a great big mouth you have. You look like you crawled off a hook in a Japanese fish market and flopped on your belly all the way to America. I mean, My Super Ex-Girlfriend? Really? Motherhood? More people have seen my dick today than have seen that movie. Of course, that's only if Lisa Lampinelli counts as twelve people.

What can I possibly say about Quentin that hasn't been said already?

Words come to mind like: "original, creative, and tasteful."

Hey, sit down... I'm just playing with you...

Thank God, I thought for a second you were gonna make me hit you. With a chin like that, it'd be like punching an ice pick.

Speaking of uneccessary violence, remember that scene in the Kill Bill movie? .... funny, neither do I.

Neither does Quentin, for that matter. Three minutes after wrap he was back in his trailer sniffing socks he swiped from the wardrobe department's laundry hamper.

I don't want to say the guy has a foot fetish, but that's actually not coke he was doing backstage... it was GOLD BOND!

Quentin is the sweetest, most helpful friend any actor could ask for. He's the one who taught David Carradine how to tie an overhand knot.

Hey Quentin! Yeah you, you smug little asshole. Coke. Feet. Martin Scorcese. Oh my god, he just came.

We could go on for hours talking about Quentin Tarantino and his odd personality quirks, but then we'd have to change the name of the show to Deathproof.

Seriously, Quentin... if I ever had to watch a few borderline attractive women sit around and talk like men for hours on end again, I'd sign up for a drive with Kurt Russel.

Hell, if he had to shoot those scenes again he'd probably hand the keys over and beg the girls to run *him* over.

From an old article on A/V Club about Marge Simpson being in Playboy by a user name "biostiac."

This is CANONICAL nudity however, how much do you think she will show?
If its just an Ass shot I will be sorely disappointed. I am an avid drawer of Simpsons themed erotica (NO INCEST!!! albeit some infidelity, Marge and Ned is a common pairing of mine) and Marge's true arealas and nipples would be a godsend. I'm not holding out hope for her labia (or dare I dream, her anus ) but a wisp of bush would be nice.

In an emotional sense Hentai and cartoon pornography is more real than IRL porn. When a girl in Hentai cries and it isn't a tentacle/demon rape scene she is crying true tears of joy. Think of how you pictured your first time with a woman you admired from afar or had a longterm platonic friendship with, in hentai you get to witness that joy and live vicariously through it.

Ever fantasize about having sex with your hot homeroom teacher? In most Teacher themed IRL porn you get a milf porn vet who cant act paired with some jackass meathead, there is ZERO emotional connection between these two people who have probably just met. In Hentai you get to see them interact in a classroom setting, the fleeting glances of longing culminated by a scene where the teacher helps the student study at her home and they accidentally kiss and she holds herself and shakes her head no that this is wrong until the character (You) tilts her head upwards and tells her how beautiful she is and we should share this moment and you get to witness them make GENUINE and tender love to each other with REAL orgasms.

While I have had some interest in shemale porn the fact they are really men is a huge turnoff. I am no misogynist and enjoy watching a woman experience pleasure which is why I mostly watch sybian porn. While some claim my enjoyment of dickgirl porn represents closeted homosexuality to me a girl with a penis is a girl who is truly aroused, and when she ejaculates that means she has had an orgasm. I am not attracted to her penis as much as I use it as a gauge of sexual arousal. In most hentai the girls are able to magically turn their clitorises into throbbing members and typically only sleep with women.

In the same way that people praise anime giants like Miyazake for transcending reality and creating a world of magic, hentai creates a sexual world so magical and heightened for me that IRL sex would be something of a letdown. Like chaining myself to platos cave and masturbating to titillating shadows instead of writhing in the land of true ecstacy

"NO INCEST!!!" has been a popular meme on that site since then.

Geez Justin, you find some fucked up shit.

I know.

(or dare I dream, her anus )

That's it. Nothings getting done today. My brain just esploded!

Also, I love how he says cartoon porn is "more real" then goes on at length to perfectly describe and define how Not real it is.

That guy was a character. I need to dig up some more posts from him.