"Oh No You Di'nt" I can't believe you just said/did that.
Ask if I'm having twins.
Sit on the table or kitchen bench. Don't put your bum on the table! This is a Maori tapu/taboo,in NZ we do not put our bottoms on places you eat or cook on.
Call your child "Cambo" because instead of crawling they bottom shuffle as though they have lost a leg, much like a cambodain mine victim would.