...of your Dreams

He has to be able to carry you but he's not allowed to be rock hard and muscely? Hmm.

Mine is 50% traditional perfection, 50% unique freak.

the man of my dreams:
he's more assertive then me and doesn't take my shit, likes a good playfull fight, is romantic without being cheesy, and knows how the have fun and joke around. Oh and has a good sense of rhythm.

[QUOTE=mikandrewz]He has to be able to carry you but he's not allowed to be rock hard and muscely? Hmm.

Mine is 50% traditional perfection, 50% unique freak.[/QUOTE]

a guy doesnt have to have bulging veiny muscles to carry me. thanks for calling me fat.
im talking mostly about stomach and chestness when i say rock hard- six packs are awesome but un-necessary. huge arms are alright but i just like them to be warm. i dont care what he can bench- as long as he can hold me and make me feel safe. chicas need security. my dream man can take care of himself.

[QUOTE=TheJudasCow]a guy doesnt have to have bulging veiny muscles to carry me. thanks for calling me fat.
im talking mostly about stomach and chestness when i say rock hard- six packs are awesome but un-necessary. huge arms are alright but i just like them to be warm. i dont care what he can bench- as long as he can hold me and make me feel safe. chicas need security. my dream man can take care of himself.[/QUOTE]

I was kidding, I know what you meant. I once dated this girl who was a pretty heavy smoker (i smoke but <5 a day normally). She pretty much always had a smokers' cough and it had firmed up the muscles on her stomach, she was a really skinny girl but she had a smokers' sixpack. Nasty.

The man of my dreams is taller than me and thin. He's the best at everything he does. I can't stand mediocrity. He could beat the crap out of someone but wouldn't unless necessary. He's smarter than me - because I have to be able to look up to him, He's someone I respect. And he's gotta be stinkin' hot.

Yeah, ok, I just described Tony. He's my man and he's awesome.

This guy:

[url]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v651/Vendetta_M/DSC00096.jpg[/url]

Blue Eyes, dark hair, good line in hilarious banter.

He works hard, even when he's not feeling well. Takes my plate to the sink just because he's going that way. Makes the kids (all 4 of them) find somewhere else to stay for a night just so we can be alone. lights candles in the livingroom just because we're alone watching a movie and he can. Tells me he loves me everyday. Never goes to sleep without kissing me good-night. Calls me on his lunch hour to see if I need anything on his way home from work just so I won't have to get out in the weather. Loves my perfume, and he always smells so nice.

18 1/2 years of marriage..........................I think I have my dream guy.

[QUOTE=Vendetta]This guy:

[url]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v651/Vendetta_M/DSC00096.jpg[/url]

Blue Eyes, dark hair, good line in hilarious banter.[/QUOTE]
Them's some pretty blue eyes.

[QUOTE=Cindy Weston]Them's some pretty blue eyes.[/QUOTE]

Sometimes I don't even know I have blue eyes! Wow... they are quite.. blue...

My girl must be my age, be into films, with a great bum and jigglers, great skin and hair, funniest person ever, and must also be my ker-plunk twin.

my mans gotta have a soft side. as much as i love his rugged and manliness- i want him to be a complete baby when hes sick- i want to get him everything he needs. i want him to be able to ask me to get him stuff when he just really doesnt feel like getting off the couch. hes really considerate. when the cereal box is on the top top top shelf and i cant reach it, he'll make it so i can or get it for me. He'll clean me a cup and a bowl so i can have breakfast without doing the dishes first. He lets me put my cold feet on his warm ones at night and shares the blankets. He'll even bring me a blanket when im on the couch and cold. He'll let me stretch out on the sofa and hell take the little chair thing. He's always always nice even when i dont deserve it.

I would take part, but what I say would just be straight up sappy crap.

[QUOTE=Earthbound]I would take part, but what I say will be the lamest of the lame.[/QUOTE]

im un cheesing mine somewhat
i could get totally mushy.
share.

[QUOTE=Ghost Mutt]Sometimes I don't even know I have blue eyes! Wow... they are quite.. blue...

My girl must be my age, be into films, with a great bum and jigglers, great skin and hair, funniest person ever, and must also be my ker-plunk twin.[/QUOTE]

I agree, she can have a face like a bulldog chewing of a bee for all I care, as long as she's got 'a great bum and jigglers'.

No dice, perrywinkle.

ok - here's the VACATION of my dreams

White sand - really blue soft water. a light breeze. warm weather but not excrutiatingly hot. on a secluded private beach (maybe in Fuji or Bora Bora) with the man of my dreams . with a little hut that's slightly open to the air. And cold drinks.
And this would all be free of course.

to decide whose dreams were to become true.

oooh. dream vacation.
thats a good one.
mine would have to be a beach too. soft white sand- not like florida beaches at least not on the west coast. soft soft soft powdery sand. the water is bluer than the sky- torquoise. at night its always a full moon and there are always a billion stars. and when you go in the water- the plankton glow when you disturb them. it rains once a week inthe vacation town and only on tuesdays. after the rain- everything is dry again but the rain is tremendous. pouring down with lightning and snapping banches- but when its done all the shit it left behind is gone. vacation house is a good size with a porch and a porch swing so me and my dream guy can sit on it and watch the storms or the night or whatever. its always warm- like- high 70s low 80s- not humid. always sunny. 'cept on tuesdays. stocked fridge so we dont have to go shopping. but there are little street markets that sell dried fruit and caged birds- little trinkets and necklaces. lots of colorful beads. on this vacation i wouldnt get a sun burn. i would just get more and more freckles till i look tan. there are wild horses on the beaches and parrots and monkeys in the trees. the sand never sticks to you or gets trapped in the sheets or tracked inside.
im changing this to dream life. in this life there would be no need for a vacation. my job would be to sit on the beach and write. and i would always make deadlines. and get paid. even though i dont really need the money- id still do my job.

This [URL=http://www.chuckpalahniuk.net/community/member.php?u=5692]person[/URL] would be cool to go the cinema. This [URL=http://www.chuckpalahniuk.net/community/member.php?u=8325]person[/URL] would be great going music shopping. Same goes for this [URL=http://www.chuckpalahniuk.net/community/member.php?u=8729]person[/URL]. It would be really great to go crate digging with this [URL=http://www.chuckpalahniuk.net/community/member.php?u=3928]dude[/URL]. And for some odd reason, I can't mention him without mentioning [URL=http://www.chuckpalahniuk.net/community/member.php?u=3859]her[/URL]. Hailing from that same iLL state are a bunch of folks that would be great to hang with, but this [URL=http://www.chuckpalahniuk.net/community/member.php?u=1769]one[/URL] would be at the top of the list. and damn, all this hyperlinking is a bit overkill and time-consuming, so wait for part 2 in the near future.

[QUOTE=Popcultjunkie] Hailing from that same iLL state are a bunch of folks that would be great to hang with, but this [URL=http://www.chuckpalahniuk.net/community/member.php?u=1769]one[/URL] would be at the top of the list. [/QUOTE] I would love to hang out with you and thanks for the email you're such a sweet heart
btw I heard one of the songs from my cd on your show the other day, but I fell asleep before I heard you say the name but I did discover that the last song is by the yeah yeah yeahs

[QUOTE=mikandrewz]I was kidding, I know what you meant. I once dated this girl who was a pretty heavy smoker (i smoke but <5 a day normally). She pretty much always had a smokers' cough and it had firmed up the muscles on her stomach, she was a really skinny girl but she had a smokers' sixpack. Nasty.[/QUOTE]
isnt that the description for marla in FC?

Just thinking of that makes me sick though. Smoker's Six Pack.

I don't really need to comment when they already know who they are.

[QUOTE=TheJudasCow]my mans gotta have a soft side. as much as i love his rugged and manliness- i want him to be a complete baby when hes sick- i want to get him everything he needs. i want him to be able to ask me to get him stuff when he just really doesnt feel like getting off the couch. hes really considerate. when the cereal box is on the top top top shelf and i cant reach it, he'll make it so i can or get it for me. He'll clean me a cup and a bowl so i can have breakfast without doing the dishes first. He lets me put my cold feet on his warm ones at night and shares the blankets. He'll even bring me a blanket when im on the couch and cold. He'll let me stretch out on the sofa and hell take the little chair thing. He's always always nice even when i dont deserve it.[/QUOTE]
I read this exact shit in a cosmo magazine during my eye appointment.

My dream knife would be balanced perfectly three thirds up the aluminum handle, the handle which is just a little thicker than the blade, the blade which is two and a half inches long, thick, and sharpened on both sides with an arrow head point, foldable with a linerlock, which is hard to find because double edged knives are never foldable, and preferably made in Ireland, because they seem to be the best knife makers. The closest thing I've been able to find it the Schrade Badger, which is almost extinct at this point because fucking Taylor Brands sold it out and is now making the new line of Schrade knives, which means no more plastic handles most likely, no more rubber grips, no more aluminum fittings, no more black blades being an option, like most companies Taylor will probably only release their knives in either normal finish or black finish, which you can't sharpen. This badger knife, you cannot fucking break it. I always buy two of each knife, one so that I can test it's breaking point, and one to carry around after the first one broke, I've got broken Ruko and Girber all over my room, but my first badger is still in perfect condition, scratced to hell but perfect, beautiful, I have seriously thrown this at a brick wall over and over again, as hard as I could, it will not break. The blade isn't even chipped!

As for perfect girl I guess Tanya but she's definatly taken so my perfect girl is one who is hot and lives far away and visits now and then so I can get laid.

she's got nice tanned skin, big eyes, bigger smile, blondish, some light freckles maybe...

she's gotta have that 'girl next door' feel to her, someone that you feel like you've known for a long time but has some secrets that you're just crazy to find out about...

she's got a lot of stories to tell, someone that's lived a full life and likes sharing experiences, gotta have a strong opinion on things but be open minded enough to see the other persons point of view...

that´s pretty much my dream girl...

oh, and big boobies!

[QUOTE=Minuet]isnt that the description for marla in FC?[/QUOTE]

Yeah, or Nico in CHOKE.

A bad ass motherfucker with a glass eye. And/or a chef.

[QUOTE=mirkah]A bad ass motherfucker with a glass eye. And/or a chef.[/QUOTE]

What about a monocle, mirkah? Can't a monocle be motherfuckerish?

[QUOTE=Jeebus]What about a monocle, mirkah? Can't a monocle be motherfuckerish?[/QUOTE]

No, no, a monocle is an affectation and thus not bad ass at all!

[QUOTE=mirkah]No, no, a monocle is an affectation and thus not bad ass at all![/QUOTE]
What about a monocle with a patch on one eye?

[QUOTE=Popcultjunkie]This [URL=http://www.chuckpalahniuk.net/community/member.php?u=5692]person[/URL] would be cool to go the cinema.[/QUOTE]

Aw, Poppy. I would enjoy that muchly. If I'm ever in Alaska or you're ever in Wisconsin, it's a date.

[QUOTE=Smartazboy]What about a monocle with a patch on one eye?[/QUOTE]

Wouldn't that band that holds the patch in place leave a dent like "hat hair"?

[QUOTE=Smartazboy]What about a monocle with a patch on one eye?[/QUOTE]

I could so see the Peanuts Planter Mr. Peanut support that in a commercial. It would be an advertising technique to get those rough and tough pirate people in, yeah nevermind, they don't exist anymore. I am sure Dustin "Captain James Hook" Hoffman would.

[QUOTE=Nightrious]I read this exact shit in a cosmo magazine during my eye appointment.

As for perfect girl I guess Tanya but she's definatly taken so my perfect girl is one who is hot and lives far away and visits now and then so I can get laid.[/QUOTE]

ya like the cosmo, huh?

you only need to get laid once in a while?

dream girl...

-someone who is through playing games.
-someone who can say, "i want to go here" instead of "i don't care, it's up to you."
-someone who can get ready in less than an hour
-someone who can carry a conversation
-someone who has the eyes...and something behind them

and that's about it...

I saw that before you deleted it. Ha! *w1n*

But don't worry; my lips are tick-a-locked.

It wouldn't display

[QUOTE=JustinHolt]dream girl...

-someone who is through playing games.
-someone who can say, "i want to go here" instead of "i don't care, it's up to you."
-someone who can get ready in less than an hour
-someone who can carry a conversation
-someone who has the eyes...and something behind them

and that's about it...[/QUOTE]
I'm her. Wanna git married?

Dream date
being taken to the auto show on valentines day
that would be the best date ever!

dream job - one of those people on the travel channel that travels everywhere and eats the food and tells you where you should go on your next vacation.

[QUOTE=dzudzu]dream job - one of those people on the travel channel that travels everywhere and eats the food and tells you where you should go on your next vacation.[/QUOTE]
that's a good one:)

Dream Dream--being paid to be air. Cross the universe in various bodies, atmospheres, regions, and gods--if there are any. So much simpler than carrying around all this physical matter.

Dream girl,,, hah ahh ha!
At this point: Creative, kind, secure, intelligent, and slightly nuts. I used to want completely nuts, but the hell with that, been there done that and sick of doing it. Of course there are some that would argue that all women are completely nuts. I'd argue the definition of completely nuts.

All right, I better stop before I get shot then told to dig a grave.
lol

Dream Job...

Tom Hanks in [I]Big[/I]. Let me play with toys all day, and get paid nice, and have that apartment, with a Coke machine and a trampoline, in the middle of Manhattan. Yeah, that's nice...

what about underwear inspector? i think that would be a fun job

[QUOTE=TheJudasCow]what about underwear inspector? i think that would be a fun job[/QUOTE]

what about really HUGE underware?

[QUOTE=dzudzu]what about really HUGE underware?[/QUOTE]

what about plastic fork or bubble wrap inspector.
or SPORK! A SPORK inspector!

[QUOTE=TheJudasCow]ya like the cosmo, huh?

you only need to get laid once in a while?[/QUOTE]
I do like the cosmo. I love the cosmo. I hate men's magazines, but I absolutly love the chicks mags. I don't know what it is, I skip through most of the astrology and celebrity stuff, though now and then some of it leaks into my conscious and I think, "Shit, where did I read that Jennifer Lopez, Cameron Diaz, and someone else, all use the same skin bronzing formula to add a more realistic look to a sunbed tan?"
I like the stories, really. This one article about weird things that guys have asked girls to do, like this one story about some chick whose boyfriend wanted her to watch him take a leak because it was a huge turn on and made him feel manly, and I can just imagine this girl taking that as some sort of a cute and desperate yet pathetic act and going along with it, and him pissing all over the bathroom in two boner-propelled V-shaped streams of, let's say it: PISS, which this girl is expected to watch and be turned on by.
And the pictures, sometimes they have the hottest pictures of the fakest women in the world, it's like the ugliest chicks in that magazine would blow every girl I've ever seen in real life right out of the water, in a way it's like looking at some sort of freak show, but I know it's all fake because this one time this chick from Just Shoot Me who plays Nina was on David Letterman and he showed her pics from Maxim and she told about how they computerized her legs to make them longer, and then added all of this shine to them.

Then there's the oddball shit that's supposed to tap into the mind of males and tell the women reading what men actually like and want, and these things are such bullshit. I don't mean just the sexual things but the things in general, but what I like best is the stuff that actually does make sense, like this one article convincing women not to try to change their boyfriends or husbands, and I thought, Man, some people really need to read this shit. I immediatly thought of this Cindy girl who calls me from time to time. Her boyfriend used to live with me, and she kept calling for him and thinking that he was there, when he really wasn't, and then saying shit like, "I KNOW he's there, and I'm not hanging up until you put him on!" so I'd go, "Okay...So, how are things?" and I'd just talk to her for no reason, and now she seems to like phoning me for advice on what she should do with their relationship, and the odd part is that I'm never even met her in real life, have no clue what she looks like, but we talk on the phone now and then, and she definatly needs to read the article about trying not to change people because it made a hell of a lot of sense.

[QUOTE=TheJudasCow]what about plastic fork or bubble wrap inspector.
or SPORK! A SPORK inspector![/QUOTE]

But where would you put the little sticker with your special number on it?

I don't think you are really thinking these jobs through enough.

[QUOTE=Popcultjunkie]It would be really great to go crate digging with this [URL=http://www.chuckpalahniuk.net/community/member.php?u=3928]dude[/URL]. And for some odd reason, I can't mention him without mentioning [URL=http://www.chuckpalahniuk.net/community/member.php?u=3859]her[/URL].[/QUOTE]

Gee...thanks. We're not the same person you know.

[QUOTE=dzudzu]But where would you put the little sticker with your special number on it?

I don't think you are really thinking these jobs through enough.[/QUOTE]

the number is stamped on the back of the SPORK.
or the sticker is found on the inside of the SPORK box.
i do think these things through

[QUOTE=TheJudasCow]the number is stamped on the back of the SPORK.
or the sticker is found on the inside of the SPORK box.
i do think these things through[/QUOTE]

I guess that would work.