Now You're Me....
I just read this line in one of Brock's posts and it made me laugh and it made me think. Which is the best kind of post, also movie.. Ok, done with the poor imitation. Here's the original post:
The idea is to insert your own version of events before "Now you're me"
Me: Imagine it being too hot to drink coffee at 7:00 Am, drinking pepsi instead and wishing cigarettes didn't cause cancer. Now you're me.
Imagine playing need for speed while your brothers asleep under the tv, at 1am, while anticipating the crazy shit you've got planned for this weekend. Now you're me.
Imagine reading all of small_fires posts regarding house sitting and wishing I had her life. Now you're me.
Imagine sitting in your room, staring at the computer screen, pushing refresh and reading each new post at The Cult because you've got nothing better to do. Now you're me. And probably everyone else here.
my life only gets this good about once every 10 years.
Imagine you're hung over, coming off your fifth funeral in as many months (AIDS, suicide (hanging), accident (5-story fall), heart attack, heart attack), and you're horny as hell because you're always horny as hell when you're hung over. Now you're me.
awww, sorry tuffster, thats sad and awful.
Imagine you're listening to 'Love Shack' really loud and packing a bag with sunscreen, The Cement Garden by Ian McEwan, CD's, a walkman, lip balm, Pringles, peaches, grapes, bottled water, a BLT and towels. Now you're me.
See you guys later, its beach time.
Life just gets brighter and brighter.
*death glares mirkah*
Imagine listening to The Streets album, needlessly wearing an Under Armour shirt, sitting around, thinking about the last movie you saw, posting messages about what your doing, and contemplating whether to go with friends to see T3: Craptastic Film. Now you're me.
Imagine your friend's just got you a birthday present with you there (i'm not moaning about that by the way), and you're just about to go to a friend's house to watch Josh Hartnett have an oragasm with a flower. Now you're me
Imagine sitting in a chair, answering phone calls all day while counting down the minutes till you get off so that you can go home, take a valium and relax for the rest of the day. Now you're me.
Suck me beautiful...
Imagine you just got home from work (well it's been almost an hour and a half but it feels like you just did) you're sitting at home wasting your life in front of a screen, you should really clean up your room or write something or do some exercise but there's really nothing to look forward to if you do any of them because there's really nothing to look forward to at all, and for some reason or another your navel hurts but you don't know why. Now you're me.
Imagine you haven't gotten any sleep, because the guy came to roof your house at 8:00 am, and you went to sleep at 2 am. And you're just killing time until the next thing comes along. Now you're me.
There is hope, but not for us.
Imagine your sitting in front of a computer (duh) with painful ankles and a case of lonelyness due to a 50 mile distance between you and significant other, but happy still cos she is your significant other. Now you are at least part of me.
[SIZE=5][COLOR=Red][FONT=Book Antiqua]Hey Nature Boy, You're Looking At Me With Some Unrighteous Intention[/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE]
yo imagine this shit, i don't want to go into detail cause i'm lazy, and shower is needed. now you're me.
I'LL DO BETTER NEXT TIME I'M PROMISE!!
Imagine you are sun drunk, full of grilled prawns and drinking a margarita. Now you're me.
imagine you've just finished watching "punch drunk love" and can't decide whether to laugh or cry and your stomach is killing you because you've gone a little crazy with the abs of steel shit...now you're me.
I love Punch Drunk Love, I was just deciding wheter to watch it again or read Jennifer Government which I've been ignoring
alex, overall, i enjoyed the movie...but i can't figure out why emily watson was so eager to jump on his pathetic bandwagon!
Well neither do I, I'm sure Barry Egan has no clue either. The idea that someone could just fall for someone is all it is, it's the little hopeful speckle you expect from a romanitc comedy, something to cheer you up when you're down like Adam Sandler's movies do for Paul Thomas Anderson, he said that was his reasoning for making the movie. All I know is it's like the only thing to cheer me up the last couple of days and I'm not complaining about anything that does that.
well, i'll say no more...who am i to steal your sunshine? however, i have to admit, i like an adam sandler/PSH combo. they were great together!
Get the two disc dvd even if it's just renting it and find the Phillip Seymore Hoffman Mattress Man commercial extra, it's fucking brilliant.
[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Alex [/i]
[B]Get the two disc dvd even if it's just renting it and find the Phillip Seymore Hoffman Mattress Man commercial extra, it's fucking brilliant. [/B][/QUOTE]
Fucking hilarious, more like it.
Ok, taking a page from Robot's book, "imagine this shit." You're a little sore from doing general landscaping stuff, but you can't complain too much because your boss was absent during most of the job, which tends to make work go by much quicker. You've eaten a satisfying meal of Beef Burgundy and you're about about to go check out 28 Days Later. Now you're me. Not very exciting, is it?
Yeah it is. 28 Days Later rules.
Imagine you're on your second Chardonnay and you've just realized you've spent way too much time on these discussion boards so you're gonna be re-reading some Mary Gaitskill stories. Not very exciting either, but now you're me.
"I've never caught a jewel thief before. It's very stimulating."
Frances Stevens, To Catch a Thief
"Jeff, you know if someone came in here, they wouldn't believe what they'd see? You and me with long faces plunged into despair because we find out a man didn't kill his wife. We're two of the most frightening ghouls I've ever known."
Lisa Fremont, "Rear Window"
imagine reading alot of posts through burning eyes, then scrolling down, down, down, left click, take a sip of hawaiian punch, think of something clever to say. think. think! and nothing comes to mind. left foot touching toe to ground through chuck taylors, eyes still burning, you feel thirsty again, sip , now you're me.
Whoa Kenny. Just whoa. that was cool. Now I wish I were you.
There is hope, but not for us.
no you don't, jane. I think I have bad breath. 
Yeah, but at least you get to sleep more than 6 hours a night.
There is hope, but not for us.
I'm not so sure about that one, either, sweety pooh.
imagine your eyes still burning, thinking of a nice way to tell jane.s., my sweety pooh, that it would be a nice gesture of us to NOT turn this thread into a big chat, but to keep it at it's original cool topic, and there, you did it, you think, now you're me.
ps. this is a kick ass idea, mirkah. rock n roll
Imagine how you had to walk out of your house even before you graduated from high school because your mom is married to this asshole who's abusive and made your life living hell, then your mom had to spend $5000 which was given to you by your grandparents (which ... isn't something to be too proud of but still) to pay off your school debt and she didn't tell you about spending it all for her own family about half year afterwards when the school was threatening you to send your info to bill collecting agency... then you realize how maybe it was all for the best thinking although you live like a bum, at least you've got a job that pays barely enough to pay bills and rent. Now you're me.
Imagine that you're going to sleep, and at 8 am tomorrow the fucking kid who's roofing your house will wake you up. Now you're me.
There is hope, but not for us.
[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by TwoPennyKenny [/i]
[B]I'm not so sure about that one, either, sweety pooh.
imagine your eyes still burning, thinking of a nice way to tell jane.s., my sweety pooh, that it would be a nice gesture of us to NOT turn this thread into a big chat, but to keep it at it's original cool topic, and there, you did it, you think, now you're me. [/B][/QUOTE]
It feels good being you TPK! Thank you!
Imagine that your feet are so sunburned you can't wear shoes, not even flip flops, there is no food in the house and no one will deliver food until 11:30 so you have been nibbling on unsweetened baking chocolate and saltines spread with mustard. Now you're me.
I'm really, really glad I'm not you right now, Mirkah. No offense.
There is hope, but not for us.
[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by jane s. [/i]
[B]I'm really, really glad I'm not you right now, Mirkah. No offense. [/B][/QUOTE]
None taken, guess who is rubbing aloe vera on my toes as we speak...
[img]http://maggiebear.crosswinds.net/benpics02/ben014.jpg[/img] : Imagine laying around rubbing aloe vera onto mirkahs tootsies and bringing her refreshing beverages. Now you're me.
Dammit! *sulks in jealousy*
There is hope, but not for us.
Imagine you're sitting in front of your computer in the sweltering heat of a metal-roofed warehouse imagining that you are the voice-over for a television commercial that starts off showing workers milling around a warehouse while you speak in monotone yet enthusiatic cheesy unprofessional amateur actor voice saying, Mother Nature is full of surprises! This summer the winter storms have left us overstocked and up to our necks in cock rings. At Cock Ring Warehouse, we’ve got the largest selection of new and used cock rings in the state of Texas and surrounding areas! Yee-haw! Over three miles of cock rings... stainless steel! bronze! leather! mahogony! sandalwood! and even stained glass! And all the latest styles, including the dillenger [sound: shots], the pheasant underglass [sound: ice cubes hitting a glass], the brat [sound: slap and a cry], and ol’ ironsides [sound: low boat whistle]. Follow this little guy!!! [Man in a rooster suit waves.] Rooster: Any-cock-will-do! So take it from me, Brock Landers, the cock rings are grrreat! Come on down!... To Route 59, just south of Santa’s village for cock rings, cock rings, cock rings. This hot summer season remember the poor. Dust off your old cock rings and Cock Ring Warehouse will pass them on to needy families at no cost... now you're me...
The mind is the limit. I am going to be the best personal trainer to ever exist on this earth. I am going to inspire, motivate, and change lives. I have that power. There is not a doubt in my mind that I can make you have an orgasm just from the power of my mind via the internet. I'm a giver like that. I can heal you. I can make you whole. That's Brock. That's what I do. Moving on...
Dear Jesus,
Please don't ever make me be Brock Landers. Thank you.
Your Pal,
Tuffy
[img]http://www.gsweater.net/images/comedy/lord.gif[/img] : Imagine all the requests I get for stupid fucking shit from whiny fucking bastards. Now you're me.
What has always interested me is that any loser who can grow a decent beard and some long hair and remain fairly gaunt and emaciated looking can be Jesus. Looks more like a beardo to me...
The mind is the limit. I am going to be the best personal trainer to ever exist on this earth. I am going to inspire, motivate, and change lives. I have that power. There is not a doubt in my mind that I can make you have an orgasm just from the power of my mind via the internet. I'm a giver like that. I can heal you. I can make you whole. That's Brock. That's what I do. Moving on...
And, further, why is it always assumed that Jesus was somehow "gaunt"? The man was a Middle Eastern carpenter in a time of hand-tools, fer cryin' out loud! He had to, at the very least, been well-toned.
Not to mention [b]not[/b] the least bit caucasian...
Imagine that you have provided fodder for the hijack of your own thread. Now you are me.
Imagine you are stuck in the place you were supposed to have left for good, considered almost a terrorist by airlines, sleepless for ages and feeling dirty, with your brother either snoring on the floor or telling yoou 'open the window if you're smoking' and 'close the window, I'm cold.' Imagine holding on to a swiss roll you bought the day before yesterday because it will be your last meal (no money) and you want to keep it until you get really desperate. Imagine just wanting to go home and not being able to. Imagine wanting to call a certain guy to come and, um, keep you company, but you're stuck with sibling and the guy is a whore anyway. Imagine being tired and yet not wanting to sleep. Imagine the computer screen being the only light in the room and the low hum of the computer and clink-clink of the keyboard the only sound (besides the snoring). Now you're me.
[img]http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y172/LoopLaLouve/award_met.jpg[/img]
Imagine being impressed by just how [b]BLACK[/b] a certain tie-wearing kitty cat is. Now you're me.
40 acres and a mule. I'm down with that.
Hell I'd settle for just the mule
imagine housesitting, getting to eat free food, all while trying to choose between a dumptruck and a robot...
now you're me.