Never Touch Another (wo)Man's _________
Child.
Never try to disciple physically in any way whatsoever unless you have been given explicit permission to do so.
Stove, while she is cooking.
Other ones I can think of are very specific to me. I have a set of Tarot cards that belonged to my dad. Do. Not. Touch. DO NOT TOUCH.
Face.
Food(Especially steak or something I've been craving for months, I will cut your fucking hand off now matter how much I love you)
Darts.
"I'm glad I live in the GPS era. In a different century, I would've set off to visit the other side of the village and wandered off into the mountains and been eaten by a carnivorous plant. Or discovered the Americas."
-LaJessica
Diary.
Hair.
Colored pencils.
Sketch book.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
Records. (you may look only)
DVDs
Phone
... The girl I'm hitting on
Si vis pacem, para bellum
Children. Not ever.
Unless you're related and giving them a hug or something, but you know what I meant.
Whenever I see someone walk up to a strangers child and start touching them I want to slap them. I will smile at young children or give them a funny look if I think it will make them laugh but I am not about to go grab some persons child.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
Musical Instrument.
Liquor.
Woman.
Probably not in that order.
This is why we can't have nice things.
You shouldn't even have to say "child" here.
This is why we can't have nice things.
Oh, also - any one of my handbags.
Heart. Fuck ém.
Anything that's not on my desk at home.
Face
Hair
Kindle. I'll let people touch it, but without permission they can just fuck off.
husband.
cameras. all fifty something of them.
Feet. I'll end up spazzing out and kicking someone.
Kitchen cupboards. Don't fuck with my system.
Phone
Purse
Wallet
Boobs.
Never?
This is why we can't have nice things.
Is this RE: Boobs?
My stuff can be touched only with explicit permission. No grabsies.
Phone!
Don't do it!
Man, so many women hiding things! The only time to worry about people touching your phone is if there is something you don't want them to find. Otherwise - it's just a phone!
"Don't read my texts! They're from a... a friend! Yeah. And, um, he sends me naked pix as a joke sometimes. I don't look at them..."
This is why we can't have nice things.
At least I don't have a diary...
I mean, come on. How did no one give you shit for that?
I don't have a diary. I just know better than touching someone's diary. 
Oh. You call it a "journal"?
Our local morning radio show, Mojo in the Morning, does a thing called "War of the Roses." Basically if you think your spouse is cheating, they call them up as "survey takers" for a new floral company that is opening up online, offering you free roses for the time it takes you to answer 2 quick questions about floral purchases.
- Have you purchased flowers in the last 6 months?
- Do you plan on purchasing flowers in the next 6 months?
After you answer the questions they say, Great and who would you like us to send the flowers to?
People are so stupid, they fall for it every time. They send the flowers to the person they are cheating with.
And your post reminds me of the things people will say.
Today this guy's wife sent flowers to another man. The other man? The detective that the guy hired to follow his wife because he was suspicious of her being a whore.
Her excuse - I sent the flowers to him because he's been there for me through some difficult times.
The husband said - what difficult times?
And she was like - see, you don't even pay attention and he was there for me. He's just a friend!
She signed the card - "I look forward to the times we spend together. Can't wait to see you again. xoxo"
And you call those photos on your phone "art." What of it?
The default wallpaper ones? They're beautiful and you know it.
And guys like getting flowers?
It sounds logical the way they word it:
http://www.mojointhemorning.com/player/?mid=22667700&station=IMOJ-FL&pro...
I mean, come on. How did no one give you shit for that?
Cuz it's manly as fuck. Also, I'm pretty sure half the men here have (had) a journal/diary/whateverthefuck. I wish I did. But I'm... I'm afraid of being honest with myself... I'm just... not manly enough.
Si vis pacem, para bellum
I type all sorts of shit in my phone. Or I type shit out at work and send it to an old email address, but mostly I just delete whatever I write.
Dont go and touch my earings or other piercings. "Is your nose pierced?" as they grab for my face.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
Cigarettes.
Hair, too! Thats creepy
No, I hate people touching my phone because it grosses me out, like I hate touching other people's phones. Since touch screens I'm quite sensitive about greasy finger prints or people who put the phone to their face and leave grease and makeup all over the screen. It makes me feel sick. I don't want to put it against my face again if someone else has had their mucky hands on it.
That's why I hope phones with buttons will never disappear. I hate everything touchscreen and I don't own any such thing. I'm already obsessed with cleaning the screen of my phone a million times a day and it just stays there in its case all day long.
Ya havign had strange hair, and spiked hawked hair you dont touch that shit. You can ask as many questions about it as you want just dont touch it.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
This, and I just can't stand people who snoop in every fucking thing like they own the thing. Personally I have nothing to hide but just the fact that some people are looking for something without permission really bugs me. There are only a few people I have actually let touch my phone.
And boobs and ass are always up for grabs. I even had a lunch box that said that on it.
I'm just quoting this because it's my favorite onomatopoeia.
Body. Any of it.(This is specific to one guy at school who doesn't seem to understand personal space)
Hat while I'm wearing it.
Planet.
Tattoos. How has no one said this yet? Dont grab and poke at anyones tattoos.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
I love you.
Damn you. My first thought.
Uh..
Spouse. Unless she's really hot.
I'm just quoting this because it's my favorite onomatopoeia.
Boobs don't make a sound.
Lord knows I've tried.
This is why we can't have nice things.
Cast Iron frying pan. Just dont fucking do it.
Hat.
radio (if I am driving)
If you ask thats one thing, if not you die.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy