Nerd writers suck
What the fuck is an aspiring writer? Just put a few words on a page--congratulations. You are now a genuine writer.
I'm an Air Traffic Controller.
-------------
You can't spell manslaughter without laughter.
Aspiring Tony Montana
What happened to Ted Bundy?!
he's on that show Modern Family now.
^5
This is why we can't have nice things.
Aspiring coprophagist.
I feel more like I do now than I did before.
Aspiring cartologist.
Aspiring Aspirist.
Didn't he mention Suglia? It seemed obvious to me from the beginning that it was that cunt trolling, yet again.
Didn't he mention Suglia? It seemed obvious to me from the beginning that it was that cunt trolling, yet again.
Wasn't Suglia.
EDIT for additional weird side-note: check out the dates on his reviews now.
I don't get it?
Me either. Weird, right?
His reviews were already set up under his profile.
No I meant - what are you talking about lol
They're all from this month.
I'm confused. What reviews that who wrote?
Yeah, I probably should have posted a goddamn link. Sorry 'bout that.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/cdp/member-reviews/A2M8XFIIF9GPO5?ie=UTF8&displ...
I think the dates update when you edit or modify your reviews. Meaning "Dr." Joe suffers from the authorial tendency to second-guess himself and continually rewrite.
This is why we can't have nice things.
No, I don't think so. At the first mention of Suglia I went to check out his latest on Amazon and everything was gone.
Deleted, revised, & reposted then?
Pretty sure I recognize some of the "reviews" from when I checked him out before.
This is why we can't have nice things.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/cdp/member-reviews/A2M8XFIIF9GPO5?ie=UTF8&display=public&sort_by=MostRecentReview&page=1
That is weird. Good job on giving House of Leaves one star. I almost feel like looking through them all... but no really. lol
http://www.amazon.com/gp/cdp/member-reviews/A2M8XFIIF9GPO5?ie=UTF8&display=public&sort_by=MostRecentReview&page=1
That is weird. Good job on giving House of Leaves one star. I almost feel like looking through them all... but no really. lol
And how do you give Inglorious Basterds one star?
Whatta prick!
Really? He gave that only one star too? I loved that movie...
You just fail to grasp the wisdom of Professional Internet Troll "Dr. Joseph Suglia".
This is why we can't have nice things.
How many times does he mention his name in those reviews -_-
You look like the type of guy / gal, who would like:
SAY IT TEN TIMES FAST!
If you say it into the mirror five times he appears behind you and proceeds to lecture you all night.
All writers are nerds. That's why they're writers.
#yesIknowhe'satrollbutwhattheheck
He appears behind you and calls you a nerd.
in other news, i found the avatar i joined the cult with buried in some old website files i rediscovered.
im a nerd. and im proud, bitches.
www.triplebeard.com
http://darkroomreview.blogspot.com
“...There are so many ways of being despicable it quite makes one's head spin. But the way to be really despicable is to be contemptuous of other people's pain. You ought to have some apprehension that the man you see before you was once even younger than you are now and arrived at his present wretchedness by imperceptible degrees.”
-James Baldwin
Most nerds have lived. I think it would be kind of hard for them to write books if they'd never existed...
(I'm not trying to be stupid, but I don't see why getting drunk in a bar is what defines "living a life".)
Besides, nerd writers write well. I like that.
Yo man! Next time, I kick your ass! That'll be that!
I should really sig this at the bottom of the sig I have just now.
(I'm not trying to be stupid, but I don't see why getting drunk in a bar is what defines "living a life".)
Besides, nerd writers write well. I like that.
Well, hello there!
I’m the kind of guy who has got no problem reading Playboy, Maxim, Hustler, Penthouse, or Chuck Palahniuk on an airplane.
The last time I was on an airplane, this chick with rock hard 34C’s sits next to me. She asks me what I’m reading and I say that I’m reading Chuck and I show her the Chuck. She says, aren’t you kinda old to be reading that? Bitch. I say, well what are you reading, and she shows me this book by some spazzy nerd named Kierkegaard.
I ask her what she is and she says that shes in a doctoral program. I say, so like you wanna become a doctor? A doctor of philosophy, she says. I don’t know what the fuck that is supposed to mean. She’s prolly a fake doctor and shit.
I ask her for her number and she looks kind of nervous and says that she doesn’t have a phone. But when we deplane, I see her take out her cell phone. Fucking bitch.
When I get off the plane, I go to Barnes and Nobles in the KCMO Plaza and ask them if they got any Kierkegaard. The book chick shows me the “philosophy” section. I pick up a Kierkegaard book. Don’t know what the fuck this nerd is trying to say and so I throw the fucking book across the store and leave.
I’m gonna tell my facebook friends that I read Kierkegaard so that they think I’m smart. My Twitter followers. I’m gonna tweet about Kiekergaard. I take out my iphone and tweet that I’m reading Kierkegaard.
I walk down the KCMO road. I go into an Urban Outfitters.
Every traipse I make into the Urban Outfitters is usually met with the same two questions.
Where is the comic book’s?
Where is the videogame’s?
I ask this chick behind the counter wheres the comic book’s and wheres the videogame’s. She has pretty decent boobs (like 38D’s) but her nose is kinda long. She’s a butternose. She’s a real B squadder, for reals.
The 38D says, do you mean graphic novels? We have one of those…
I say, “Fuckin bitch you.” And then I walk out and go to my shitty job which is in the KCMO plaza where I am a cashier where I check out fat bitches groceries in this world where everybody is a toilet-paper using mammal, man, and ain’t it the fuckin truth.
The next day I wake up and I know that I got somethin special goin on.
I start to build leggoes.
I build a myspace.
And then I build a leggoe castle that looks like my parents house.
In one minute flat.
I call up my friend Danny on the phone and say, “Hi, Danny, this is your friend Brad.”
Danny says, “Hey, Brad, how are you man? This is Danny.”
I say, “I’m pretty good, Danny, hey, guess what? I can build leggoe castles in one minute flat.”
Danny says, “That’s pretty cool, Brad, let me come over.”
I say, “How long is it gonna take you to get to my bedroom?”
Danny says, “It’ll take me five minutes.”
I say, “OK, Danny, well, I guess I’ll see you in five minutes.”
Danny says, “OK, Brad, I’ll see you then. Bye.”
I say, “Bye, Danny. I’ll see you in my bedroom in five minutes. Bye.”
Danny says, “Bye” and then he hangs up the phone.
When Danny comes to my bedroom, we play this game where we both dress up in white wedding gowns and make out but we’re not gay or anything.
After we kiss, I show Danny how I build leggoe castles. And then Danny has a great idea. He says that I should build a leggoe bridge.
So over the next two days I build a leggoe bridge that goes from KCMO to Berlin, which is in Germany.
Then the leggoe bridge goes to Italy City, which is in Italy, and to Paris, which is in France.
Some of those people in France call me a “leggocentrist.”
I am now the Gengis Kan of leggoes, the Chuck Manson of leggoes. I am Captain Cool.
I am a legend.
Now I want to talk about this watch I found.
It was the watch that I found on the road. Who the fuck uses a watch these days? If I want to know what time it is, I’ll look at my cell phone. Or just ask my twitter followers what time it is, and they’ll tell me the time.
I throw the watch at some chick who is walking in the Plaza and run real fast away. Her boobs were small.
I once saw this chick in KU before I dropped out. She had small boobs so she hid her boobs. She didn’t get her boob job yet.
The rain falls. A boob job-sized drop of rain drops on my head.
writer of American Control * released by Lulu in 2012
Shit was SO cash, yo!
Now, THAT'S interesting. Most others are just fucking up around here.
Hello.
When I crack open a book I want the writer to talk to me about three things…
Boobs, blood and booze.
Nothing less. Nothing more.
I am the new Tyler Durden and I am here to say that it is time for nerdie writers to fuck off and to go away.
Real writers write with their fists not there brain. That’s the write way. That is the minimalist technician.
And real writers don’t use stupid words like “suddenly” or “cheese”. “Stately” is a joke to.
“cheese”. who the fuck wants to read about cheeses. “cheese” is so a retarded word and only dorks use that word. I want to read and write about boobs, blood and booze not no fuckin cheeses!
“suddenly”. yeah right what kind of a fucktard uses the word “suddenly”? Amazon troll “DR.” Suglia tard that’s who! “DR.” Suglias a fuckin tard biscuit. Sugs a fug. He got the style but he aint got the talent thats some fucky poo!
And that stupid ass Chucksucker James Joyce started his book with “stately”. what a fuckin joke. James Joyce starts his book with the word “stately”. Come on what kind of dork uses the word “stately”? he’s a total nerdie. Look nerdies leave the writing to the tuffs!
Use your fists not your brain when you write. That is the write way. That is the minimalist technician.
Nerdie writers need to leave literature to the tuffs. The real men.
I had a thought or two that some of you might be wondering of what I am up to lately fiction-wise. Come with me down the smokin Jack soaked tunnels and we will talk some about my first novel shall we?
My debut novel is American Control.
Its’ the story of a guy named Brad.
Brad, he’s the kinda guy who has no problem reading Playboy or Hustler on an airplane.
And he plays video games.
Lots of video games.
That, and he reads comic books.
Lots of comic books.
Brad is the angry cashier at a supermarket whose seen just enough of this world to know that in the end were just the same pile of toilet paper using mammals you see on the street man and aint it the fuckin truth.
Every traipse he makes into the Urban Outfitters is usually met with the same two questions.
Where is the comic books?
Where is the video games?
Our hero brad lives in Portland, Oregon. And he’s sick of the earth.
Every night he flies in his golden helicopter to KCMO and goes to the hot star studded KCMO nightclubs. The best dam clubs the worlds ever seen. The kinda clubs a man goes to when he wants to get wit some fly ass honeys and I’m not just talkin bout B or C squadders man I am telling you for truth.
Then he goes to the KFC in KCMO.
You can tell by the way that he use his walk that hes a womans man. No time for a talk.
Brad wakes up a morning and sees that hes got a special power. He can build leggoe houses.
Lots of leggoe houses.
In chapter 2 he builds his own Myspace.
In chapter 3 he starts to build a big leggoe bridge.
Leggoe bridge goes all the way from his hometown, it’s Portland, Oregon, across the lake to Paris in France.
From Paris France leggoe bridge goes all the way to Moscow in USSR.
When he’s in France the people in France all call him leggoecentrist or “leggoecentrique” like the people in France say.
From moscow in USSR leggoe bridge goes to KCMO.
From KCMO leggoe bridge goes to Berlin in Germany.
From Berlin in Germany leggoe bridge goes to Italy city in Italy.
He does all of this with the help of his bff.
His bffs name is Danny.
Danny and Brad dress up in a white wedding gown in one scene and they kiss but there not gay.
Brad looks into its’ eyes just like his own.
anyway there’s a twist in the story when an evil doctor starts smashing leggoe bridge just like in the clockwork orange by tony burger but I dont want to give to much away.
and lots o boobs
Still at the end Brad becomes the Gengis Kan of leggoes.
The Adolph Hitler of leggoes.
The Chuck Manson of leggoes.
The Moby Dickhead of leggoes.
The Tyler Durden of leggoes.
Brad, he is a legend.
Are you ready?
Whether your ready or not…
Here comes…
American Control…
And what kinda writes do I like?
The kinda writer who doesn’t read to much or care to much about big academic-sounding words.
The kinda writer who aint afraid of taking a shit with his clothes on or pissin himself dry when he crawls out of the bar man after drinkin a pint of Jack and smokin himself silly man and aint it the fuckin truth.
The kinda writer who reads Hustler and Chuck on the plane whilst playin video games and drinkin a hella pint of Jack.
The kinda writer who likes his lincoln leggoes and aint afraid to tell the world to show it.
The kinda writer who aint afraid to read Penthouse, comic books and Chuck while checkin out some fat bitchs groceryes in the plaza whilst savin up his dough for a fine ass trip to luna.
The kinda writer who plays video games with one hand whilst reading Penthouse and Chuck on the plane in the other.
Thats the kinda writes I crave.
The tuffs.
The minimalist technician.
The leggotardians.
The tuffs.
Not the nerds.
Nerds = sug hags.
Agree.
“The girl in the room had hella small boobs so she hid her boobs. She didnt get her boob job yet. But shes gonna” – my novel American Control comin out in July 2012 by Lulu
writer of American Control * released by Lulu in 2012
If you want to see what you're doing done right, go here: http://thesebooksarebad.tumblr.com/
The only entertaining thing above is when you insulted your audience. You like writers who "don't read." Name one good writer who doesn't read... Please... And I'll tell you a writer who sucks at life.
I feel like you're the new Suglia.
How old are you? Wait, let me guess... 20. Because you're old enough to buy porn, but young enough to feel like a rebel when you're drinking.
But really I don't care.
“cheese”. who the fuck wants to read about cheeses. “cheese” is so a retarded word and only dorks use that word. I want to read and write about boobs, blood and booze not no fuckin cheeses!
the big moosie, the big cheesebread
This is easier with cold soup, vichyssoise, or when the chefs make a really fresh gazpacho. This is impossible with that onion soup that has a crust of melted cheese on it in ramekins. If I ever ate here, that’s what I’d order.
Get out of here, and do your little life, but remember I’m watching you, Raymond Hessel, and I’d rather kill you than see you working a shit job for just enough money to buy cheese and watch television
These are from Fight Club but I don't think they should count.
From Paris France leggoe bridge goes all the way to Moscow in USSR.
Why didn't he just build the 'Leggoe' bridge from Portland to Moscow? And then to France? Seems like it would have saved time and effort. Neat-o concept though.
Can't wait for the book!
I won't be afraid to pull the book out on a plane. I'm the type of guy who doesn't give a fuck about pulling a shitty book out on a plane. I don't care if the hard body next to me with the tight tits staring at my dick sees me reading a shitty book by some guy who doesn't even like to read. I know it makes her think I'm smart and cocky when she sees I'm also not afraid to watch pornography where girls fuck machines on a plane, on a plane.
Epic.
Right. Well then.
Nerds write about some of the best stuff. Like star stuff!! 
"The universe is not required to be in perfect harmony with human ambition." - Carl Sagan
Real men bring a swordfish onto a plane.
Then they hijacks that bitch with it.
This is why we can't have nice things.
Also, Lulu is for pussies who are too scared to face rejection from a vanity publisher.
This is why we can't have nice things.
I guess a clip of the Simpsons episode with Alan Moore singing about Little Lulu is too specific too find.
Little Lulu and her Magic Paints? Man, I loved that book. And yeah I have no idea what episode you're talking about. Good luck with that.
ButIdon'twannawriteaboutidiocy!!!
This is why we can't have nice things.