Nerd writers suck
Each traipse I make
Each cake I bake
Each leg I break
Each nerd I rape
writer of American Control * released by Lulu in 2012
"mommy, why don't i know how to read?"
"why don't you love me?"
"is it normal for daddy to come in my room at night and touch his pee pee?"
www.triplebeard.com
http://darkroomreview.blogspot.com
“...There are so many ways of being despicable it quite makes one's head spin. But the way to be really despicable is to be contemptuous of other people's pain. You ought to have some apprehension that the man you see before you was once even younger than you are now and arrived at his present wretchedness by imperceptible degrees.”
-James Baldwin
This thread used to be awesome.
Anyways, he's what I would imagine as a "nerd" writer.
Chuck Klosterman
Yeah him. Klosterman. Like the bread company.
i love bread
Then you should elope with it.
MAYBE I WILL
FINE THEN! GO! MOVE OUT!
AND DON'T YOU DARE COME BACK WHEN HE TREATS YOU WRONG!
BREAD IS THE LOVER YOU COULD NEVER BE. IT LOVES ME LIKE A WOMAN DESERVES TO BE LOVED
I TOLD YOU IT WAS A HORMONE DISORDER! FUCK, WOMAN!
IT'S NOT MY PROBLEM ANYMORE. BREAD PROVIDES ME WITH WHAT YOU CAN'T.
HE BETTER NOT BE MIXED RACE. IF I FIND OUT YOU LEFT ME FOR A MARBLE RYE I'LL COME OVER THERE WITH HOT COAT HANGERS!
WHY IS THAT, BRANDON? FEELING A LITTLE INADEQUATE? NOTHING NEW THERE.
I guess now is as good a time as any...
...I'VE BEEN CHEATING ON YOU WITH PITA BREAD!! NOW PICK UP YOUR SEX AND THE CITY DVDS AND GET THE FUDGE OUT!!
YOU'VE BEEN CHEATING ON ME WITH THAT MEDITERRANEAN WHORE? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?
I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING! MY YOUTH, MY BODY... YOU NEVER APPRECIATED IT.
HEY, I FAKED PLENTY OF ORGASMS FOR YOUR BENEFIT! YOU NEED TO STOP DIPPING YOUR TAMPONS IN VODKA AND TAKE OFF THE CRAZYPANTS!
Each traipse I make into the book store is usually met with the same questions.
Where are the comic books?
Where are the video games?
That, and I read a lot of comic books.
writer of American Control * released by Lulu in 2012
Anyways, he's what I would imagine as a "nerd" writer.
Chuck Klosterman
Yeah him. Klosterman. Like the bread company.
i love bread
Then you should elope with it.
MAYBE I WILL
FINE THEN! GO! MOVE OUT!
AND DON'T YOU DARE COME BACK WHEN HE TREATS YOU WRONG!
BREAD IS THE LOVER YOU COULD NEVER BE. IT LOVES ME LIKE A WOMAN DESERVES TO BE LOVED
I TOLD YOU IT WAS A HORMONE DISORDER! FUCK, WOMAN!
IT'S NOT MY PROBLEM ANYMORE. BREAD PROVIDES ME WITH WHAT YOU CAN'T.
HE BETTER NOT BE MIXED RACE. IF I FIND OUT YOU LEFT ME FOR A MARBLE RYE I'LL COME OVER THERE WITH HOT COAT HANGERS!
WHY IS THAT, BRANDON? FEELING A LITTLE INADEQUATE? NOTHING NEW THERE.
I guess now is as good a time as any...
...I'VE BEEN CHEATING ON YOU WITH PITA BREAD!! NOW PICK UP YOUR SEX AND THE CITY DVDS AND GET THE FUDGE OUT!!
YOU'VE BEEN CHEATING ON ME WITH THAT MEDITERRANEAN WHORE? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?
I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING! MY YOUTH, MY BODY... YOU NEVER APPRECIATED IT.
HEY, I FAKED PLENTY OF ORGASMS FOR YOUR BENEFIT! YOU NEED TO STOP DIPPING YOUR TAMPONS IN VODKA AND TAKE OFF THE CRAZYPANTS!
ENJOY HALF OF EVERYTHING YOU OWN, I'M SURE YOU AND YOUR FLAT COMPANION WILL BE VERY HAPPY TOGETHER.
“if you want to be a bird,” you said once, “with colorful plumage and buoyant trills, you must also be ready for hollow bones."
Where are the comic books?
Where are the video games?
That, and I read a lot of comic books.
That's better.
I am the kind of guy who has no problem reading Playboy or Hustler on an airplane. But James Joyce? No, I aint gonna read that shit. Joyce's a nerd and he knows it. A Chuck wannabe.
writer of American Control * released by Lulu in 2012
Let me eat your vagina. I wish to chew on your nuts. I want to gorge on your cock. I want to slip into your ass and blow my load into the center of your creativity — oh don't stop, don't stop, you want me, I know you do. I know you do. Don't stop. No, don't stop, don't stop, you want me, I know you do. I know you do. Don't stop.
thanks for sharing.blackhawk tactical pants.
— Spambot
"I could have done worse!" exultantly cried the murderer Lebret, sentenced at Rouen to hard labor for life. — Félix Fénéon
List of nerd writers...
James Joyce
J.G. Ballard
Joseph Suglia
Georgie Hegel
All fuckin nerds
I like to read my literature with a cool glass of Jack and a comic book in hand and a Hustler or a Playboy in another whilst playing a video game.
writer of American Control * released by Lulu in 2012
Joseph Suglia
Hey Joe. Welcome back! You had us going! You're clever!
thanks for sharing.blackhawk tactical pants.
— Spambot
"I could have done worse!" exultantly cried the murderer Lebret, sentenced at Rouen to hard labor for life. — Félix Fénéon
Whatev. Suglia is an ass whore and a nerd troll. He's jealous of Chuck and hes obsessed with Chuck. He wishes he were a Chuck. He wishes he were famous and rich like Chuck. Too bad his arrogance don't bring the bucks.
I fuckin hate Suglia and so do you. Otherwise your a nerd to.
And this ladies and gents is what happens when a writer is more successful than you. You turn into a loser like Suglia. A jealous sad loser who hates on a writer thats more famous and rich than him.
writer of American Control * released by Lulu in 2012
What the hell is going on here?
So who are you more successful than?
Because by your definition, if you're not more successful than Chuck you're a loser...
Barrack Obama is also a nerd btw.
writer of American Control * released by Lulu in 2012
Inb4playingcard.gif
Sorry, I been busy masterbating.
This is why we can't have nice things.
writer of American Control * released by Lulu in 2012
Are you from the future?
Tears of Joy.
I feel more like I do now than I did before.
Each cake I bake
Each leg I break
Each nerd I rape
I'll be watching youuuu
/police
Its kinda hard with you not around
Know you in heaven smilin' down
Watching us while we pray for you
Every day we pray for you
Till the day we meet again
In my heart is where I'll keep you friend
Memories give me the strength I need to proceed
Strength I need to believe
My thoughts big I just can't define
Wish I could turn back the hands of time
Us in the 6, shop for new clothes and kicks
You and me taking flicks
Making hits, stages they receive you on
I still can't believe you're gone
Give anything to hear half your breath
I know you still living you're life, after death
obvious troll is obvious.
"I'm glad I live in the GPS era. In a different century, I would've set off to visit the other side of the village and wandered off into the mountains and been eaten by a carnivorous plant. Or discovered the Americas."
-LaJessica
I am more excited about being a nerd than ever.
I feel more like I do now than I did before.
Although Chuck is a great writer - If there was a choice between being remembered as James Joyce or Chuck Palahniuk, I choose Joyce without even having to think about it.
Heinrich Mann is a poindexter and so's his brother Tom to.
These are writer who arent nerds...
J.D. Salinger
Hunter S. Thompson
Jack Kerouac
Charles Bukowski
Eminem (yeah he's a writer)
Tony Burger (writer of clockwork orange)
Any writer from Portland, Oregon
writer of American Control * released by Lulu in 2012
These are writer who arent nerds...
J.D. Salinger
Hunter S. Thompson
Jack Kerouac
Charles Bukowski
Eminem (yeah he's a writer)
Tony Burger (writer of clockwork orange)
Any writer from Portland, Oregon
Okay now I know you's trollin'.
Anthony Burgess*
Yeah but his friends called him Tony Burger. That was his nom de plume.
writer of American Control * released by Lulu in 2012
Isn't the start if Survivor a guy reading Playboy on a plane?
Very few guys have no problem with reading Playboy or Hustler on an airplane. It takes a lot of guts. Drinking Jack, reading Playboy or Hustler on an airplane and playing video games: all of this separates the tough writers from the nerds.
And playing with leggoes and not caring what anybody thinks of you.
writer of American Control * released by Lulu in 2012
Shouldn't you be calling him Anthony Burgess then?
No its not like that. Tony Burger was his nom de plume.
writer of American Control * released by Lulu in 2012
Each cake I bake
Each leg I break
Each nerd I rape
I'll be watching youuuu
/police
I'm in class and our tibetan monk professor is talking about meditation and I seriously just laughed.
I LOOK LIKE SUCH AN ASSHOLE.
“if you want to be a bird,” you said once, “with colorful plumage and buoyant trills, you must also be ready for hollow bones."
Survivor is my favourite Chuck book.
Each cake I bake
Each leg I break
Each nerd I rape
I'll be watching youuuu
/police
I'm in class and our tibetan monk professor is talking about meditation and I seriously just laughed.
I LOOK LIKE SUCH AN ASSHOLE.
yesss!
I'd say all the non-nerds as you put it all read the nerd books. You dirty hipster troll.
What about this guy:
Vladimir Baby!
I feel more like I do now than I did before.
Or this guy:
damn all computers...well it was shakespear
i can't see it, but i'm sure he's not as great as chuck!1!1!
“if you want to be a bird,” you said once, “with colorful plumage and buoyant trills, you must also be ready for hollow bones."
nerd
Keith is the most unattractive name in the English language.
“if you want to be a bird,” you said once, “with colorful plumage and buoyant trills, you must also be ready for hollow bones."
www.triplebeard.com
http://darkroomreview.blogspot.com
“...There are so many ways of being despicable it quite makes one's head spin. But the way to be really despicable is to be contemptuous of other people's pain. You ought to have some apprehension that the man you see before you was once even younger than you are now and arrived at his present wretchedness by imperceptible degrees.”
-James Baldwin
This guy, man. He's like everything — everything — that is wrong with people wanting to be writers in a world that discourages intellectual growth.
This is my very first ever screenplay. Whad'ya think?
Cut to Explosion
Movie Trailer Announcer Guy: "That discourages intellectual growth!"
Cut to long, slow shot. The camera pans down a book's spine, from top to bottom. Rich brown leather off-sets the gold leaf script of the author's name: JAMES JOYCE. Blue sky, with flowing, cottony clouds, fills out the left and right hand sides of the screen.
Movie Trailer Announcer Guy: "One man will defy them all!"
Dramatic sounds from large drums: Boom! Boom!
Cut to a page turning from a book, in slow motion, with the sound of a knife being sharpened played over it.
Movie Trailer Announcer Guy: "One man will wage a war!"
Dramatic sounds from large drums: Boom! Boom!
Cut to shot of J.G Ballard (played by Will Smith) at a book reading. A very stern look on his face as he struggles to pronounce all the big words. He is wearing glasses with a large square of white tape across the bridge of the nose, holding the glasses together.
Movie Trailer Announcer Guy: "A One Man War!"
Dramatic sounds from Electric Guitar as it plays Arpeggios at an ever-increasing speed. The tension builds.
The camera rushes past many people. Very fast, there should be an effect of speed-lines. Lots of quick cuts of pushing past shoulders, some heads turn in alarm.
Movie Trailer Announcer Guy: "And everything..."
Dramatic Guitar continues in background.
Sudden shot of our hero (possibly Vin Diesel?) as he reaches the front of the table where Ballard is seated. The camera pushes in on his fist, as he pulls it back, ready to throw a punch.
Movie Trailer Announcer Guy: "Everything!"
Cut to the mighty blow landing squarely on Ballard's jaw. He is thrown back as the table is over-turned, just as his feet begin to fly upwards through the air, everything suddenly goes into slow motion and a Nine Inch Nail's song begins.
Movie Trailer Announcer Guy: "Everything that is wrong..."
Our hero (Vin Diesel) raises both hands over his head in triumph. He is shaking from the rage. A slight sheen of sweat and mud and blood across his bald head. And he yells: "NERDS!!!!"
Cut to explosion.
Movie Trailer Announcer Guy: "With people wanting..."
Explosions continue.
Nine Inch Nails continues.
Movie Trailer Announce Guy: "To be writers."
Cut to quick shots of Vin Diesel. Getting drunk in a bar, vomiting in an alley, crying at a bus stop.
Movie Trailer Announcer Guy: "This guy!"
Cut to a quick shot of a motorcycle crash. It then explodes.
Cut to a shot of two hands, slamming a heavy book down on a large wooden table. The book is a Thesaurus. The camera pans up and we see it is Joseph Suglia, looking at some one off-screen. He is visibly angry. With a deadly seriousness he demands: "Get me the President!"
Movie Trailer Announcer Guy: "Will prove them all right!"
Cut to close up of Vin Diesel as he delivers the movie's catch phrase. With a sly smile to the camera he says: "Just face it! You ain't no Chuck!"
All audio and visual cuts to blackness for a solid second. And the Title appears, with a loud crash, in large silver metallic letters, over a flaming background of reds and oranges:
American Control!
Quick cut back to a mid-shot of an elderly librarian, as she brings a palsied finger to her withered lips and says: "shhhhhhh"
We then pull out to a long shot as we see Vin Diesel running up to her, he pulls his leg back and goes to kick her in the cunt. Commercial ends the split-second before he connects, the audience then pictures how the scene ended.
Cuts back to Title screen, now with the date of release in the same sharp font.
July 4th, 2012!
Oh hawks. Aspiring writer is offline. I hope he comes back.
This guy, man. He's like everything — everything — that is wrong with people wanting to be writers in a world that discourages intellectual growth.
This is my very first ever screenplay. Whad'ya think?
Cut to Explosion
Movie Trailer Announcer Guy: "That discourages intellectual growth!"
Cut to long, slow shot. The camera pans down a book's spine, from top to bottom. Rich brown leather off-sets the gold leaf script of the author's name: JAMES JOYCE. Blue sky, with flowing, cottony clouds, fills out the left and right hand sides of the screen.
Movie Trailer Announcer Guy: "One man will defy them all!"
Dramatic sounds from large drums: Boom! Boom!
Cut to a page turning from a book, in slow motion, with the sound of a knife being sharpened played over it.
Movie Trailer Announcer Guy: "One man will wage a war!"
Dramatic sounds from large drums: Boom! Boom!
Cut to shot of J.G Ballard (played by Will Smith) at a book reading. A very stern look on his face as he struggles to pronounce all the big words. He is wearing glasses with a large square of white tape across the bridge of the nose, holding the glasses together.
Movie Trailer Announcer Guy: "A One Man War!"
Dramatic sounds from Electric Guitar as it plays Arpeggios at an ever-increasing speed. The tension builds.
The camera rushes past many people. Very fast, there should be an effect of speed-lines. Lots of quick cuts of pushing past shoulders, some heads turn in alarm.
Movie Trailer Announcer Guy: "And everything..."
Dramatic Guitar continues in background.
Sudden shot of our hero (possibly Vin Diesel?) as he reaches the front of the table where Ballard is seated. The camera pushes in on his fist, as he pulls it back, ready to throw a punch.
Movie Trailer Announcer Guy: "Everything!"
Cut to the mighty blow landing squarely on Ballard's jaw. He is thrown back as the table is over-turned, just as his feet begin to fly upwards through the air, everything suddenly goes into slow motion and a Nine Inch Nail's song begins.
Movie Trailer Announcer Guy: "Everything that is wrong..."
Our hero (Vin Diesel) raises both hands over his head in triumph. He is shaking from the rage. A slight sheen of sweat and mud and blood across his bald head. And he yells: "NERDS!!!!"
Cut to explosion.
Movie Trailer Announcer Guy: "With people wanting..."
Explosions continue.
Nine Inch Nails continues.
Movie Trailer Announce Guy: "To be writers."
Cut to quick shots of Vin Diesel. Getting drunk in a bar, vomiting in an alley, crying at a bus stop.
Movie Trailer Announcer Guy: "This guy!"
Cut to a quick shot of a motorcycle crash. It then explodes.
Cut to a shot of two hands, slamming a heavy book down on a large wooden table. The book is a Thesaurus. The camera pans up and we see it is Joseph Suglia, looking at some one off-screen. He is visibly angry. With a deadly seriousness he demands: "Get me the President!"
Movie Trailer Announcer Guy: "Will prove them all right!"
Cut to close up of Vin Diesel as he delivers the movie's catch phrase. With a sly smile to the camera he says: "Just face it! You ain't no Chuck!"
All audio and visual cuts to blackness for a solid second. And the Title appears, with a loud crash, in large silver metallic letters, over a flaming background of reds and oranges:
American Control!
Quick cut back to a mid-shot of an elderly librarian, as she brings a palsied finger to her withered lips and says: "shhhhhhh"
We then pull out to a long shot as we see Vin Diesel running up to her, he pulls his leg back and goes to kick her in the cunt. Commercial ends the split-second before he connects, the audience then pictures how the scene ended.
Cuts back to Title screen, now with the date of release in the same sharp font.
July 4th, 2012!
Oh. My. God.
I came.
“if you want to be a bird,” you said once, “with colorful plumage and buoyant trills, you must also be ready for hollow bones."
I see a lot of you making fun of me and really I don't think I did anything to deserve that. I came on to this sight with the good idea of having a discussion about Nerd Lit. It seems to me that I wasn't too clear and so I'll try again shall we?
Let's try to have a true discussion and not call names shall we?
First off, I'm gonna explain what I mean by Nerd Lit. Just because you can write many pages and use long words does not make you a great writer.
Now I am interested not in words but in THE STORY. It doesn't matter if the writer can spell or use literature-correct grammar. The point is THE STORY. If THE STORY and the characters are good I am hooked. Aren't you?
There is one guy in particular who writes shit 1-star Shmamazon reviews about Chuck called "DR." 
Joseph Suglia. He thinks he is the greatest writer on the earth but he's not as famous as Chuck. He thinks he's so great. But just because he has a Phd and uses lots of big words and long sentences doesnt mean that he's the greatest writer on the earth.
So why am I attacked on a web sight for Chuck fans when I am just a Chuck fan? Are you Suglia hags or somethin?
writer of American Control * released by Lulu in 2012
would you lose interest and fuck off all ready?
you bore me.
"I'm glad I live in the GPS era. In a different century, I would've set off to visit the other side of the village and wandered off into the mountains and been eaten by a carnivorous plant. Or discovered the Americas."
-LaJessica
No - but even Chuck will tell you that there is more to writing a good story that just plot (which is basically what you're getting at).
If you only needed a plot - you could just turn in an outline.
You need good descriptions. You need good dialogue.
Choosing the right words are just as important. The words should sing.
Chuck would tell you that, if you ever get a chance to meet him.
Let's try to have a true discussion and not call names shall we?
First off, I'm gonna explain what I mean by Nerd Lit. Just because you can write many pages and use long words does not make you a great writer.
Now I am interested not in words but in THE STORY. It doesn't matter if the writer can spell or use literature-correct grammar. The point is THE STORY. If THE STORY and the characters are good I am hooked. Aren't you?
There is one guy in particular who writes shit 1-star Shmamazon reviews about Chuck called "DR." Joseph Suglia. He thinks he is the greatest writer on the earth but he's not as famous as Chuck. He thinks he's so great. But just because he has a Phd and uses lots of big words and long sentences doesnt mean that he's the greatest writer on the earth.
So why am I attacked on a web sight for Chuck fans when I am just a Chuck fan? Are you Suglia hags or somethin?
does your mother think you're handsome and brilliant?
you dont make any sense at all, and if you are not in fact a troll, you are in fact a moron, chooch, shit head, dipshit, idiot, or whatever adjective you prefer. when you first begin to make sense, and you take off your hangover glasses and comb out your queer-eye-and-straight-guy, professional wrestler, vidal sassoon haircut, i shall think you aspire to be something else than an inconsequential mosquito of a fight club lemming which often happens past me.
www.triplebeard.com
http://darkroomreview.blogspot.com
“...There are so many ways of being despicable it quite makes one's head spin. But the way to be really despicable is to be contemptuous of other people's pain. You ought to have some apprehension that the man you see before you was once even younger than you are now and arrived at his present wretchedness by imperceptible degrees.”
-James Baldwin
I'm just so sick of so-called "smart" nerd writers thinkin that there all hella cool because they use big words. OOooooooooooooooo... You're sooooo smart. I like minimalism and transgressional, which was invented by Chuck, because those are books for a normal guy like me.
writer of American Control * released by Lulu in 2012
Each traipse I make into the library is usually met with the same questions.
writer of American Control * released by Lulu in 2012