Naughty Consumerists, You

I bought more gifts today. I got some really nice beaded bracelets that tell a story, a necklace, and an old school tin wind up racer car.

I CAN'T STOP SHOPPING.

I bought $180 worth of socks, undies and t-shirts for the bloke for xmas.

What does Lucy get for Christmas? We'll need pictures!

She's getting a blow up paddling pool with a pink toadstool canopy, inflatable stacking rings, a doll, a truck, bubbles, a drink bottle, some books...I think that's it.

Sounds awesome, I bet she'll be happy.

For just a moment I was confused about the summer pool in December.

$180 is a lot of underwear.

Or one very expensive Speedo.

I bought myself a book that has just recently been republished (Oscar et la Dame Rose). It was out of stock for a few years so I was so happy to find it. I initially wanted something else, The Trilogy of Culture by one of our greatest poets and philosophers, but it was too expensive. Probably will buy it, though, heck, it's Christmas.

Are speedos popular in in New Zealand? Australia? How about Britain?

I just paid over $50 for a Ken Russell flick that is otherwise out of print.

No it's moslty board shorts for the blokes here. But stubborn old ugly farts still do the speedo thing.

I agree, but my mom spoils the shit out of us on Christmas and my godfather doesn't like to buy gifts unless he knows you want them. So yeah, list.

I bought stupid shit today:

severed finger and severed ear keychains
and pins of flippin the bird

That's not stupid shit that's necessities!

I have a severed finger collection.

I've lopped-off significant portions of my thumb a coupla times.

I have a severed thumb that Derek sent me. Not a real one.

I'm so so close to being finished with xmas shopping. The parents/grandparents are all getting XmasBabymoonjumper mugs.

haha yes, that too.

I meant I have a (small) (okay it is just two, but I tend to take my time when I collect things) collection of fingers I call my Severed Finger Collection.

One is a a plastic finger that used to be a hook for hanging a coat or hat or whatever on (but the part to screw it into the wall fell off a while back) and a clay mold of one of Zachariah's fingers from when he was in first grade and did some project at school that resulted in a mold of his finger that has every tiny detail and wrinkle and cuticles just like they were that day.

I've been keeping my eyes open for a third finger to add to the collection for a while. Jazmyn's purchases make me smile.

Now whenever I see severed fingers I'll think of you, Amber. That's weird.

Which part is weird? That severed fingers will make you think of me, or that I collect them?

Actually, the collection is a collection of three, but the third one isn't actually a finger. It is a pencil eraser in the shape of a penis. A teeny tiny baby finger size penis. But, you know, adding that part when I get around to mentioning the severed finger collection to people just makes is seem weird.

Once I get back I'll be sending new years gifts because secret santa set me back more than i expected.

I almost completed my christmas shopping. I bought a robe, pajama pants, a set of really nice wine glasses, a footsie pj, apron, oven mitts, knitted gloves, a couple necklaces, and myself a sleeping bag. All I need is to buy a bottle of wine.

I bought the rest of Grant Morrison's Batman chronology that is available in paperback. I own and have read up to RIP and then it started losing me. But I started reading those as some of my first comics. Not a great thing to start with. Now I've read way more comics and I've read a lot more Grant Morrison. He's become my favorite comic author. So I want to give his Batman another shot. Also going to skip any Batman not written by him because I think those were throwing me off a little the first time.

Also going to use a gift card to buy Californication Season 5 and Powers the Definitive Hardcover Collection Volume 5.

I hardly bought anything in Hawaii other than food and booze. I did buy two magnets, two sets of playing cards, and a dashboard hula girl. I didn't realize until today how little I spent while spending a whole week and a half there though.

THIS. I saw it in a shopping mall a few days ago and said no way, I already bought myself a fine bone china mug. But it's poppies, and it's 4 times cheaper than these should be - that store is magic, one of my friends showed it to me. So yeah, this'll probably be one of the first purchases I make in 2013.

It's $10. TEN DOLLARS. These usually go around $35-40 in tea houses and bookstores.

That is very cute.

And this is the one I got myself for Christmas

Pretty.

I bought a necklace similar to the one in the picture at Schiphol Airport on our way home.

So Dutch! It's beautiful.

Ooh I love that necklace Imke.

Hehe, thanks! It makes me think of my family, and I love it.

I bought a pretty planner, index cards and an index card holder, expensive scented candles, a bouquet of orange and yellow and pink and red spring flowers and cheap beer.

Now you better put that planner to use, lady!

My hot pink freesias have bloomed completely since Friday, they usually don't and there are always some buds that never open. They're beautiful.

I love flowers so much. So much.

I WILL put the planner to use. Part of the reason I am posting about this here is that I need to hold myself accountable. By saying it to you guys (along with a sparse number of others) I hope to do so.

This is a plan I have been contemplating for a while. I know to most that may sound strange, being on a strict schedule and keeping a written account of it, but for me it just hasn't been a necessary thing for most of my life, plus, I have had small ones at home for most of my life that kept me occupied whether there was a plan or not. Now it has been two and a half years since all young ones were in school full time, I have had some set backs, with other family emergencies (extended family) needing me then taking all my time, plus just general traumas and bullshit of life fucking my head. I am ready, really, to get on with it all. If I have to treat myself like a child in need of discipline then so be it.

I was passing by old town today so I stopped in because they have this 1880's tobacconist there and I bought cigars.

Then I went next door to the 1880's candy store and bought $25 worth of rootbeer barrels, horehound, and other assorted antique candies.

That's almost a 7 pound bag.

I'll hold you accountable, can I?

That candy store sounds like a treasure.

Yes. please do.

James always try to do so and all it makes me want to do is throw things and defy him purposefully. I don't want a parental partner. He is just supposed to love me no matter. And vis a vis.

A friend that calls me on my shit is a completely different situation.

Braggart.

No fair.

Besides, you can't throw stuff at me.

No doubt.

That really is a fault of mine.

As a child I used to throw plates of food at dinner time at my mom.

I joke about it now a days because it rarely do it anymore, but know I am still prone to it. I'll tell people to back off, playfully or otherwise, or I will throw things. But as recent posts explaining my problems have shown I am not beyond still actually doing it when pushed for real.

Countless times I wanted to do that. The furthest I've got was flip a bowl of freshly made popcorn. I never swore at her, just yelled, although for years I've had dreams where I release all the anger and scream at her and kick her and everything.

I've always thought if I'm showing the least fury it means I'm the most in control. I also worry that if I do it once then I'll never be able to stop.

Yeah. It is better to be non violent. Personal restraint is the most important thing. No matter ones feelings.

Sometimes one cannot help showing their fury, however. Sometimes one needs to show it or worse consequences will occur. better to flip a bowl of popcorn than actually hurt someone.

I'm keeping it all bottled up for after I'm moving out and visiting her once in a blue moon. THAT will be worse for her than hearing me scream at her.

I hope you are able to move out soon. (for more reasons than that. As I said before, becoming a independent adult moved out and really doing your own thing. no matter what that thing is, is so very empowering) Just don't let yourself be dragged down with things you never wanted like i have. fight for what you really want from the start, no matter the road blocks.

I'll try. Thank you.

Living on your own is great. I love being able to do what I want, whenever I want to, without people always knowing what I'm doing or where I am.