Marriage

its not for me.

i am going on 13 weeks single!!! yay, as of Monday, which is kind of a record for me- as i was a relationship whore.

I too was single for a bit and it was o.k. but i could not help falling for this girl. When we went out the first time for our first date i knew right there that this girl was the one. She is amazing, everything about her is.

Sorry i dont mean to go on about that. I think it is great to be single and it is fun not having to worry about what you look like or having to clean you place everyday. I'd rather do those things with someone else.

' The last thing i need in my life is another woman, i *cant* get married,... im a 30 yr old boy '

Getting married was the best thing that I ever did (4 years). For real. Note that prior to this I did not believe in marriage in general - still don't, really - only that it has been great for me. But, then, I have a fantastic wife.

The Rules:

1) Do not cheat on your spouse.

2) [b]Do NOT cheat on your spouse.[/b]

3) Make your spouse your best friend.

4) Don't fight over stupid shit - and, yes, you will fight (it should go without saying that you should never, ever get physical.) Know when to concede. Don't hold grudges.

5) Do the little things that show you care. Dating doesn't stop just because you are married.

If you want more advice, let me know.

Oh, yes, Brock. I [i]think[/i] I'm happy. Which of the two of us is better qualified to judge? Your Saviour, Chuck In Heaven, is married as well.

By the way, Brock, I had flaming hot sex this morning. Did you?

What's the difference between living and being monogamous with someone and being married?

The only difference is status, and if you need that status to make you happy then take it.

I'm only 17 what do I know, right?

I've seen a lot of things fall apart because of status, my own relationships, friend's, my parents, parent's of friend's.

For example one of my friends was dating a girl for 3 years. They 'broke up' but remained best friends, didn't date or do anything sexually with anyone else but each other for this time and they were happier than ever, happy enough to get back 'together' and I watched their happiness drop again.

coincidence? not likely.

decalogue - you shoulda made it 8 rules just for the hell of it. =D

I could spiel a 1600 word Brockism on the hows and whys of love and marriage and sex in and out of same, but why, Brock, why? 1) I am able to say what I want succinctly, and 2) I really don't care to go round and round with you on this - you were married and divorced before you were thirty - of course you're bitter about it. I believe that this actually [i]disqualifies[/i] you form judging marriage as an institution. "I ate an apple once. It had a worm in it. Apples are bad." It's called Poisoning the Well, Brock. And really, it says reams more about you than it does about marriage.

I neither stated nor implied that marriage is for everyone. In fact, I wrote that I believe the opposite; only that marriage has, oddly enough, worked wonderfully for me. To which you replied, essentially, "Bullshit." So let's look at a few of your statements, shall we?

*this next bit of inspiration was not written by me

Cite your references, Brock. A minor point, but still. If you believe it and post it, do us the courtesy of saying who _did_ write this comedic interlude.

*you have decalogue who thinks he is happy

Again I retort, who better to judge - you or me?

*Marriage [...] The next thing you know, you're a bitter, romantically deprived, sexless, emotional disaster.

Well, sure, Brock. [b]I[/b] would cut you off, too. Allow me to say that I am neither bitter, romantically deprived, sexless, or an emotional disaster.

*We've all been duped into believing that marriage is the end-all remedy to our loneliness.

Gosh, Brock. You got married because you were lonely? That's just so... stupid. And sad. Yup. Stupid and sad.

(etc.) Let's move on to your second missive which is a tad more interesting in that you open yourself up more.

*I NEVER said Chuck was my savior. I said Fight Club was my bible.

Okay. That's stupider and sadder. You list "Self Destruction" as your first interest, Brock. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU STILL BREATHING MY OXYGEN THEN????

*obviously your definition of "flaming hot sex" must be really twisted.

It is, Brock. It is. But probably not in any way you can conceive.

*I bet you tell your wife just how "flaming hot" it was everytime you do it.

I don't have to tell her. She knows.

*I bet you even convince yourself through repetition that sex with your wife is always "flaming hot". It's called "lowered standards". Look it up some time.

You're so damn witty! I don't need to [i]look up[/i] lowered standards, I experience it first-hand every time I read one of your "scathing" ripostes. What would you like to bet, Brock? A milllllllllllion dollars? LOL!

*No married couple who has been married for any amount of time has "flaming hot sex"...

Again, this says loads more about you than it does about anyone else.

*I would be willing to bet you didn't even ever have "flaming hot" sex before you were married.

Ok, you're on.

*what is this conception of "flaming hot sex" that you have? Please explain. What made it so "flaming"? And what made it so "hot"?

Brock, I'm not here to get you off. You're starting to creep me out now.

*I think it's funny that you are trying to brag about getting laid by someone you have to have sex with and probably have hundreds of times with

Bragging? I was stating a fact. And you did bring it up in this thread. Many of your posts are filled with "my chicks"-this, and "getting laid"-that. So who gets laid more, you or I? Oh, and I was never in the Marine Corps. I have never *had* to do anything I didn't want to, Brock. That was you.

*I don't need a woman to be in my life 24/7 to feel content.

Of course, and that's great.. Exactly why did she leave you, Brock?

*I am secure enough in myself to realize that being dependent on someone else is not love but merely codependence.

Have you tried therapy for this?

*Also it is useless to say that every woman I sleep with is my "soul mate", whatever the fuck that non-existant entity is, so i am not in love with everyone I fuck.

I don't believe in 'soul mates' either. Not sure anyone over the age of 17 does. Nor, in single days, was I "in love" with everyone I "fucked". So what?

*I merely copulate for the sake of sex

Get many repeat customers there, Brock?

*I awoke with a morning erection and rolled over into the sleepy, make-up-less, frumpy, hair-curler-wearing, house fraulein next to me

I take this as you're implying that my wife is less than stunningly attractive? A hausfrau? You're heavily into movies - You'll appreciate this then. Pam Anderson in Snapdragon (a terrible flick, sure.) My wife played Pammy's mother in the flash-back-to-when-I-was-a-little-girl scenes (It's uncredited, but I assure you that is her) and also was in one of the Witchcraft films (won't tell you which one, though.) You're familiar with the Witchcraft movies - terrible acting & writing, but the T & A is excellent. Why am I telling you this when we all know how meaningless looks truly are? Because, while I'll jag back & forth with you over just about anything, under no circumstances shall you say anything less than stellar about my wife. I love her dearly, she is beautiful, intelligent, talented, and has the business acumen of a mako shark. Plus she can out-drink and out-fight anyone here. She is also, without a doubt, the absolute best in bed of any woman I have slept with. And that's saying a [b]lot[/b].

*If you didn't "think" you were happy, then how could you have written that you were happy.

I didn't, Homie, you did.

*You don't need to make a conscious decision in order to brainwash yourself. Sometimes it happens without you even knowing it.

Say that again, Brock while looking in a mirror. Nice.

*How else do you explain "happy" marriages?

Well, we aren't [b]all[/b] losers who get married too young and/or for the wrong reasons. And [b]some[/b] of us don't bail on people we claimed to love when the going gets too tough, [i]pobrecito[/i].

See? I can out [i]ad hominem[/i] you any day of the week. I would like to add, Brock, that you should certainly never remarry; you're far too gone for that. And please, whatever you do, don't reproduce.

Love, your pal,

Decalogue

(- edited and re-edited repeatedly for that full [b]6'6"/180/Hard/Ripped[/b] effect. -)

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Becks77 [/i]
[B]I just got engaged this past valintines day [/B][/QUOTE]

Congrats, by the way.

Good points on both sides, wish it would've took places without coming to angry words eh? Anyway, someone said something about having to clean up you place everyday and worry about your looks. I think the 'one' so to speak, would be the one that doesn't care how you are dressed or how clean your place is, that'd be a great girl huh? I just scrolled up and read it was Becks77 who wrote that, don't get upset, I'm not trying to come off as a jerk, just commenting. I see where you are coming from though, and I'm sure we've all been there with the lady who's a nagger/

Wow, Brock. You really are the [i]ad hominem[/i] king. I bow to your greatness. Kinda missed my point, though, didn't you? And I guess now you're mad at me. I can tell, because you were so terse. I'm sorry, it's just that you get so angry and insulting when someone says something that you disagree with, and I finally realized that simple logic doesn't make sense to you, so I thought I'd try my hand at histrionic ranting. I thought I did pretty good.

For the record, we all know that you would never ever write, "Hi everyone!" when you could get away with, "Hi everyone! Psychobabble, booze, mysogeny, pseudonihilism, spew spew spew, wank wank wank, pretense pretense pretense. More psychbabble. Booze. Drugs. Chuck quote for authenticity. Self-promotion. I lift weights and my life is [i]exactly[/i] like Tyler, insults to anyone who doesn't agree with me...on and on and on for five or six-hundred words." Fucking yawn. It's weak, Brock - the only thing you've really got going is verbosity.

Look it up.

Remember, you started this: I [i]think[/i] I'm happy because I've brainwashed myself? Puh-lease. You're miserable, so we have to be as well, and if we aren't we're just deluding ourselves... If your life is so useless and empty, Brock, why [i]don't[/i] you get help? You need it, man, I'm serious here.

Oh, and my wife was never on Baywatch. She was a regular on Melrose Place, but I hadn't mentioned that. "I have no proof of anything i say, but am happy to argue for no reason with you Brock." True enough. Then again, I don't really care to prove anything to you either. But you could look it up. It [b]is[/b] a matter of public record. You'd have to do a little detective work since there's no way in hell I'm posting my real name on the internet, but [url]www.imdb.com[/url] is a very handy site. You knew that already. Or maybe you'd just prefer I email you some photographs?

Here's another for you, "Remember, If you think bad thoughts, then bad's what you're gonna get." I love that one.

I only quote you because you're so damn quotable.

Hm. Brock deleted the posts where he originally insulted me... Is this an apology (of sorts)?

this is better than reality tv

Wow I'm confused. I'm reading this post for the first time today, and the whole time I couldn't understand who the hell Decalogue was calling "Brock." It wasn't until the last few posts that I realized that Decalogue wasn't utterly insane, just that Brock had deleted all of his posts.

I am now finished thinking aloud. (And if you wanna know why I posted this, just read Invisible Monsters; nothing can be entertaining without an audience.)

i fell into a burning ring of fire...
i went down down down, and the FLAMES crept higher
and it burns burns burns
in the ring of fire
the ring of fire....

When I woke it was dark, all light dammed by the curtains. All I can hear is water dripping, not to porcelain, but to more water. To admit that life is doomed, means you are too. Press my ear against the wall, listening for breath or music. No sigh, just silence. Pale skin, pale eyes, purple lips, soft cheek. I feel weak and nauseated, so hot I strip. Ears ringing, I puke. Yellow bile that swirls, tastes like lead...

The tile is cool on my spine as I look into his unflinching eye. He wasn't meant to be a groom, a father, or a son. He wasn't meant to exist. And in the empty he has become mine. Funny how he told me that a person that reads all day, then watches the sunset is as valuable as a person who doesn't. He didn't believe it. No one does. I'm thinking of happy endings, how writers often flinch

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by insomnomaniac [/i]
[B]i fell into a burning ring of fire...
i went down down down, and the FLAMES crept higher
and it burns burns burns
in the ring of fire
the ring of fire.... [/B][/QUOTE]

I love Johnny Cash. That's real country music, the only good kind. Back when it was all about shooting people, bar fights, and jail, not about your fuckin' dog and how he got run over by your cheatin' wife who's stealin' your Chevy.
Yeah, and marriage is cool too, but it's getting to the point where it's not sacred anymore. All the bullshit on TV where people are supposed to fall madly in love within the set parameters of the show. Such crap. I hope your marriage is nothing like those pieces of shit, Becks77. Congrats and good luck.

You know, I post so much CRAP on this site. And I know that it's crap. It's how I get it out of my system, I guess (ha ha): I post it on this site, and then I don't end up putting it in places I really care about: like my work. Or whatever.

And be that as it may, Brock posts, like 10 times more than me. And here's the thing: I won't delete anything I put up here. I don't care that much about it. But even if I did, even if I wrote "George Bush is my number one sexual fantasy" (none of your business - don't ask!), and then realized that, holy shit. I just posted that (the computer equivalent, I guess, of using my "out loud" voice), but still.... what was my point? Oh yeah. That I have a brain, no really. And that I sometimes use it.

It's words, dude. They won't hurt anyone. And now I've got half a conversation - the good part, IMHO - but now it doesn't connect with anything.

And I guess I'll just say this: I really respected a lot of Brock's superduper long and strong replies to topics all over the board. BUT TO DELETE WHAT YOU POSTED BECAUSE OTHER PEOPLE DISAGREED WITH YOU IS ABOUT THE WEAKEST THING UNDER THE SUN, MAN.

I LOVE what decalogue wrote (it gives me hope), but it's all out of context. So, yeah. Brock: You might think that you saved your ass by taking away what you said before. I mean, I wouldn't have even cared really (from what dec wrote, I think it's safe to say your philosophies and mine are about night and day different. I mean, I think I went through with what you're dealing with. When I was, like twelve), but I lost a lot of respect for you by knowing you deleted it. Really "tough" and "strong," by deleting words (innocent creatures, symbols by nature) that weren't doing anything to hurt you, buddy.

You know that old saying, put up or shut up? Yeah. Dec, you put up, bro. And I admire the hell out of that. Salutes and salutations. I'm happy to know, just happy to be aware, that you and your wife are out there and are making it work. To me - and yes, I am a sappy as fuck sentimentalist - that's about the coolest thing on this planet of animals and plants.

Did I have anything else to say? Love is so cool. That's all. And yeah - you know, wait. I read this quote the other day. And I'm going to fuck it up and misquote it and all that, but here: love is dumb. But it's good to be dumb. Because that means you can love.

Kinda simple. Sort of Forrest Gump-ian, I know. But I can say this with certainty: I love to write, and I love my partner more than the world. And if that makes me dumb and "unaware" of the "real world" around me, then fuck you. I don't care. I've seen my fair share of hardships and super bad happenstance, but so what?

Here's a quote I do remember, one of my favorite singers, Eddie Vedder: "It's already been sung / but it, can't be said enough / all you need is love."

Love is the basis of Buddhism, Love was Jesus' big thing (not Christianity, retard ). Love's really cool. It's dumb, but it's cool.

And Chuck? I can promise you: he loves to write.

And that's not bad. We would've be here with that, right?

And Becks77, like my pretend Dad said: congratufuckinglations, man. For real for real. I wish you and your lady all the best in the entire world. What's that saying? "Many happy returns."

Dang - longest post EVER.

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by willtupper [/i]
[B], Brock posts, like 10 times more than me. [/B][/QUOTE]

Actually, will, I checked the stats and you've got him beat. You're winning 417 to 338.

LOL, D. That's not what I meant. But bless you for checking!

What I meant was overall post LENGTH. He writes "War and Peace," I write fucking "haikus."

That's what I, you know. "Meant." Love!

shame on you, brock landers.

I miss Brock. I liked reading his posts. He was sort of a higher excistace, along with willtupper, Rents and a few others. They are the legends of the forum. I hope I can do that one day. Brock, you will be missed.

He will also be called by me a stupid fuck. Brock, you are a stupid fuck.

As much as I appreciate being known as a legend, I hardly think I've reached that level. I may post a bit, but there are plenty of others in line for legend before me. Thanks though, XChuck. Now, why would you say you missed Brock and then turn around and call him a stupid fuck? Just curious.

Rents, you're a fucking legend. Don't ever doubt the words of youngsters. XChuck has a lot of shit he'll work through in the coming years, but we will be there for him.

However, his appraisal of your legendary status is spot-on. I post like this... meaning, all the time, in honor of you.

You are HUGE. You were totally robbed at the Oscar nominations this year, for real!

Thanks, man, I appreciate it. And as for the Oscar, no worries, we'll get 'em next year. I've got tricks in orifices I don't even know I have. And I'm not even a prostitute. If that doesn't work, I can always (to be said in a raspy voice) make 'em an offer they can't refuse. *strokes his jowls*

Wait, what about the Oscars? And I was just saying that I miss him, but I didn't like him. He was an idiot.

[QUOTE]I love Johnny Cash. That's real country music, the only good kind. Back when it was all about shooting people, bar fights, and jail, not about your fuckin' dog and how he got run over by your cheatin' wife who's stealin' your Chevy.
Yeah, and marriage is cool too, but it's getting to the point where it's not sacred anymore. [/QUOTE]

although the more recent song entitled "Prop Me Up Beside the Jukebox (If I Die)" by I'm not sure who is a true tribute to the hallowed roots of country...

the cheese is the best part of country music, man! although i agree with you that JC is in a definite class by himself.

I'll get married around 23,24,25. I'm turning 20 in May.

i'm getting married soon as i get some money.