List how you feel, right now

I'm stuck in a transitional phase and I'm feeling aprehensive. My job ends on friday and the job I'm supposed to be starting monday is still going through an approvals process.. (damned IBM)

Calm
Sexy
Brain damaged

Shit this is such a rehab thread. Group therpy Au Go Go!

i'm on drugs right now

what'd they put you in for, brother?

[QUOTE=lokigod]what'd they put you in for, brother?[/QUOTE]You talkin' to me? If so whatta you mean? And also what drugs you on?

i was just using that cliched line for the hell of it
you can answer it only if you want to dude

a quick evening toke my friend
and some good pizza

scared
confused
hesitant
sick
jumpy

I have an obnoxious need for individually packaged sliced cheese.

dry
badly situated
minimal

caffeinated
happy
free
self-satisfied

happy
Horny
Wired
Tired
serene (thats what we were sposed to be feeling in group therapy)

surprisingly rested and alert from the measley 3.5 hours sleep i got last night.
comfortable
chilly
relaxed
happy

cheated. I went into the Sweetshop with my mummy in the next village and bought 100g of Sports Mixture Fruit Jellies and I'm scoffing them now, and I just found some wine gums! But, I did fall in love with the cashier though, even if he did have a purple stain in his shirt.

motivated.

Frustrated. I've been working since I was 11 years old (4:30 am paper route every day at that age, for 7 years) and yet now (26 years later) that I just got married and have a baby on the way, have a great job and a master's degree, I still can't afford that new house I want. The one that would be great for my new family. A decent $400,000 home to live in.

I've worked hard for it. I've earned it. Dammit.

I bought a naturist magazine, the front cover has a pic of a forty year old woman petting sheep in a dry paddock completely naked.

excited and happy but I don't know why.

drowsy, sleepy, as if i slept for a complete month and now I cannot be fully awake.
as if I had to do my homework but I am procrastinating.

horny
antsy
foggy headed
kind of thirsty

I am hungry. I mean really hungry. I don't know why. It's not even quite 11 am yet, and I had breakfast. I had a peach and a bowl of frosted mini wheats with soy milk, and I had some coffee. I don't know what's wrong with me but the more I eat, the hungrier I get. Food arouses my appetite without bedding her back down again. Epecially breakfast.
I'm always hungry again right around eleven. I think what it is, is that I'm not really hungry at 7:15 AM, but I eat because it's time to eat breakfast. I hate bringing food with me places. I dislike carrying around food. I just want to go in search of it when I am hungry.
You know what I'd really love, is some peanut butter. Ohh man, a peanut butter sandwich would sure hit the spot. Even half a sandwich.
I think I'm a little sleepy from this hunger.
The last few days I have had no energy. It's strange too, because I just started taking these new vitamins that make me pee neon yellow, and I thought for sure they would increase my energy. What if the St. John's Wart I started taking is counteracting with the thumb-sized vomit-hued multi-vitamins that smell like a lawn's testicles, to make me tired and hungry?
Peanut M&M's would be FANTASTIC right now! If someone came up to me and gave me a bag of peanut M&Ms right now, I'd really fall in love with them. I would look them in the eyes and say THANK YOU and for once, really mean it.

i feel awake. sensational.

madd(i)e : eating gets your metabolism going. so of course you'll be more hungry : )

i need to eat.

[QUOTE=Maddetchke Malorkus]I am hungry. I mean really hungry. I don't know why. It's not even quite 11 am yet, and I had breakfast. I had a peach and a bowl of frosted mini wheats with soy milk, and I had some coffee. I don't know what's wrong with me but the more I eat, the hungrier I get. Food arouses my appetite without bedding her back down again. Epecially breakfast.
I'm always hungry again right around eleven. I think what it is, is that I'm not really hungry at 7:15 AM, but I eat because it's time to eat breakfast. I hate bringing food with me places. I dislike carrying around food. I just want to go in search of it when I am hungry.
You know what I'd really love, is some peanut butter. Ohh man, a peanut butter sandwich would sure hit the spot. Even half a sandwich.
I think I'm a little sleepy from this hunger.
The last few days I have had no energy. It's strange too, because I just started taking these new vitamins that make me pee neon yellow, and I thought for sure they would increase my energy. What if the St. John's Wart I started taking is counteracting with the thumb-sized vomit-hued multi-vitamins that smell like a lawn's testicles, to make me tired and hungry?
Peanut M&M's would be FANTASTIC right now! If someone came up to me and gave me a bag of peanut M&Ms right now, I'd really fall in love with them. I would look them in the eyes and say THANK YOU and for once, really mean it.[/QUOTE]

Do you really take St. Johns Wart? I'm pretty sure it's like herbal prozac or something. Maybe this is why you are always so lethargic...

The St. John's Wart is supposed to help me stay in a good mood, and I think it might be working, not sure. I used to take Ginseng more often but haven't tried to mix the wart witn the 'seng. They're both herbs so I doubt the combo would cause terribly adverse reactions.

The last time I took a ginseng capsule, it was terrible. I swallowed one without enough water, thought it was down, then burped out a cloud of ginseng powder into the air - which confused me. It took me a second to figure out what just happened as I stood there thinking "did that just come out of ME?" before I noticed the dry, bitter, nasty powder coating the back of my throat and making me gag.

Imagine mixing a powdered instant beverage into some milk and how it never really dissolves, you always get those exploding pockets of the movie Dune bursting in your face as you drink it.

I ran to rid my mouth of the nastiness, with my eyes watering, drooling the stuff down my chin in lumpy brown blobs. I couldn't get that taste out of my throat for several hours. Didn't have time to really wash it down as I had to be at work. Woo that was bad. Be careful with those powder capsules. The label says take it with a meal or a FULL glass of water and by god that's good advice.

Do not take those unregulated herbal meds, I had psychotic episides due to valarian Root and i woulda never known but for the people at the hospital told me.

I take echinacea sometimes, and it always goves me wicked heartburn and I found out there's cayenne pepper inside!

Stay away! from the witchy gear! Bad.

[QUOTE=Prensa Taladradora]I take echinacea sometimes, and it always goves me wicked heartburn and I found out there's cayenne pepper inside![/QUOTE]

I think I'm allergic to echinacea. It makes me sneeze and have itchy sinuses.

its the only thing I know that helps to fight infection, I don't think it makes me sneeze though, everything else does...

[QUOTE=Maddetchke Malorkus]The St. John's Wart is supposed to help me stay in a good mood, and I think it might be working, not sure. I used to take Ginseng more often but haven't tried to mix the wart witn the 'seng. They're both herbs so I doubt the combo would cause terribly adverse reactions.

The last time I took a ginseng capsule, it was terrible. I swallowed one without enough water, thought it was down, then burped out a cloud of ginseng powder into the air - which confused me. It took me a second to figure out what just happened as I stood there thinking "did that just come out of ME?" before I noticed the dry, bitter, nasty powder coating the back of my throat and making me gag.

Imagine mixing a powdered instant beverage into some milk and how it never really dissolves, you always get those exploding pockets of the movie Dune bursting in your face as you drink it.

I ran to rid my mouth of the nastiness, with my eyes watering, drooling the stuff down my chin in lumpy brown blobs. I couldn't get that taste out of my throat for several hours. Didn't have time to really wash it down as I had to be at work. Woo that was bad. Be careful with those powder capsules. The label says take it with a meal or a FULL glass of water and by god that's good advice.[/QUOTE]

You never seem like you're in a good mood if an outside opinion is of any help. Hell, people on prozac never seem like they are in a good mood to me. They just seem medicated...

Ginseng is a rip-off. For years I tried it for energy. It doesn't do shit. It's no good for energy.It's no good for mood. It's no good for aphrodisiac. It's no goodfor anything. Not korean, not chinese, not mogwandiashian ginseng. It all sucks. The only thing herbal that works for energy is yohimbe, ephedra and all the caffeinated stuff like guarana and yerba mate and green tea extract, etc... I'm fucking serious, I know this shit... and royal jelly is a rip off too... all that fucking bullshit... seriously, think about it... does the ginseng help you? Does the st. john's wort? I think it's all in your head... and here I am a big advocate of herbal shit, I take plenty, I just know some of it doesn't do shit...

[QUOTE=Prensa Taladradora]its the only thing I know that helps to fight infection, I don't think it makes me sneeze though, everything else does...[/QUOTE]

echinacea is worthless too... only thing to stave off sickness is glutamine and vitamin c and arginine... all support immune system function, I'm telling you, I ain't never sick, I mean it, sometimes I get depressed, but actual sickness, it's been years...

I am right now more confused than I've ever been in my entire life something has to happen and i guess i am scared, the rules have vaporized. i am alone.

[QUOTE=morey]Do not take those unregulated herbal meds, I had psychotic episides due to valarian Root and i woulda never known but for the people at the hospital told me.[/QUOTE]

valerian root and maca don't do much to help me relax or sleep, but melatonin is fucking awesome... yohimbe bark makes me a walking boner...

[QUOTE=morey]I am right now more confused than I've ever been in my entire life something has to happen and i guess i am scared, the rules have vaporized. i am alone.[/QUOTE]

you know what your problem is? All the damn chokingyourchickencurrychinese food... you are lethargic because you jerk off too much... I mean, I like to nut, I like sex too, but I don't go around a-whackin' all the live long day... that's your life, your energy you are shooting into tissues...

Brock I find if I'm just active during the day i sleep well. Do you seriously drink all that caffiene? And eat the Ephedra cause......

That's right I'm never in a good mood. I'm always angry. It's who I am. It's who I've been since I was 13 and if I loose my anger then I lose my identity. I'm pissed off on some level constantly and that gives me a reason to do anything at all. I love because it contains so much of what does not anger me, which only makes me angrier at whatever else there is, for not being that which I love. I enjoy being angry and indignant. I take pleasure in hatred. I'm solid and unbreakable in my shell of fury. Herbs. pfft.

mmm no that's not true. I'm not angry now, am I?

[QUOTE=Maddetchke Malorkus]That's right I'm never in a good mood. I'm always angry. It's who I am. It's who I've been since I was 13 and if I loose my anger then I lose my identity. I'm pissed off on some level constantly and that gives me a reason to do anything at all. I love because it contains so much of what does not anger me, which only makes me angrier at whatever else there is, for not being that which I love. I enjoy being angry and indignant. I take pleasure in hatred. I'm solid and unbreakable in my shell of fury. Herbs. pfft.

mmm no that's not true. I'm not angry now, am I?[/QUOTE]I love you, too bad but at any rate anger inspires for me anyway cause I have to do something with it, whats the history?

i think I misspelled lose. Or maybe I did mean loose. I loose my anger as in I loosen it and let it fall slack into minor irritation or even, indifference.

[QUOTE=morey]Brock I find if I'm just active during the day i sleep well. Do you seriously drink all that caffiene? And eat the Ephedra cause......[/QUOTE]

Absolutely... I think I get diet dew and ephedra hangovers lately... my head hurts bad in the morning... but I mean, so far today, had 8 regular mountain dews... which suck by the way, diet is way better but the store was out... 2 vivarins, 80mgs of ephedrine, and a red bulland I still gotta workout tonight, so I'm sure I'll have more... I'm pretty used to it but direct sunlight hurts my eyes...

[QUOTE=Maddetchke Malorkus]That's right I'm never in a good mood. I'm always angry. It's who I am. It's who I've been since I was 13 and if I loose my anger then I lose my identity. I'm pissed off on some level constantly and that gives me a reason to do anything at all. I love because it contains so much of what does not anger me, which only makes me angrier at whatever else there is, for not being that which I love. I enjoy being angry and indignant. I take pleasure in hatred. I'm solid and unbreakable in my shell of fury. Herbs. pfft.

mmm no that's not true. I'm not angry now, am I?[/QUOTE]

Angry or not, I think it's good to embrace who you are instead of trying to fix what's not broken. Why does everyone have to be calm? Why does everyone need to fit in and not be different and not fly off the handle at nothing? I much prefer people who are irrational and wierd and not medicated over those who are... wierd, the white stripes is playing GIRL, YOU HAVE NO FAITH IN MEDICINE as I type this... I'm bobbin' my head and my sunglasses are dangling off my nose... I'm the girl with no fucking faith in medicine... I mean, serious... anger is good, get's shit done, if everyone was happy or had happy mood pills then nobody would make any effort to do shit...

I feel like I should still be asleep.
But I'm not.
Fuck.

Thing is i reveal that i went thru pretty much torture and Prensa reduced it to oh 'he vomits, he he gets drunk, and now he's gay' and maybe she doesn't see that i really went through a real hell for about two weeks so i just thunk Fuck you asshole cause I am a real human being not a character. ASSHOLE

hey! when I said, that I was summarizing your posts, not my opinion of you...ever since you posted your "I'm gay" thread its in almost every one of your posts...I never even commented on it, I have no opinion of your gayness, it doesn't affect me.

[QUOTE=morey]Thing is i reveal that i went thru pretty much torture and Prensa reduced it to oh 'he vomits, he he gets drunk, and now he's gay' and maybe she doesn't see that i really went through a real hell for about two weeks so i just thunk Fuck you asshole cause I am a real human being not a character. ASSHOLE[/QUOTE]

Dude, you are such a... Idon'teven know what you call someone who doesn't appreciate other people for all they do... Prensa and me, in your absence and when you are here, all we fucking do is try to help. We both shared our stories about our personal demons. We talked about how much we liked you and how we've all been in that same place as you are now or were or whatever... words of support.. for you... and all you can do is bitch about it... I know, at least for me, that I ain't about to keep helping someone who cops an attitude and treats me like crap just because they were able to hold it together and sober up for a whole week or whatever...

Undone.

you [I]feel[/I] undone?

whaddya mean?

I feel like shit

[QUOTE=Trancefreak]I feel like shit[/QUOTE]
I feel like poo too

I feel like I'm under a dead Ohio sky situated in Wisconsin.

I feel like I am loaded with opiates. Because I am.