Le Cult Menu
Hattie's Salad
1 cup of oyster crackers
1/2 head of iceberg lettuce
15 oz can of chili
copious amounts of alcohol
Line giant salad bowl with leaves of lettuce. Heat up chili in the can eat out of it when ready. Drink the copious amounts of alcohol 'til sick to your stomach. Regurgitate into salad bowl already lined with leaves of lettuce. Sprinkle oyster crackers over the salad and serve. (Please don't be mad at me Hattie, I hope you realize this is all in jest)
Rosiemoonjumper's Wild Rumpus Breakfast
boxes of weetbix
canisters of Milo mix
gallons of milk
Get a kiddie pool fill with gallons of milk. Throw Milo mix in the milk and start a wild rumpus in the kiddie pool. Grab weetbix boxes and crush all the weetbix while roaring and proceed with the wild rumpus. Enjoy!
damn, you people are cold blooded!
The Wastenotmontnot Souffle
Go to Cafe
Order Souffle
Take it back and tell the owner he doesn't know how to make a souffle and you're never coming here again and you're telling all your friends that it was shit
Tell him you appreciate him
The Liberum Waffle
Buy pancakes
Make pancakes
Carve squares into them
Claim they're waffles
I think I'll take 2 orders of the Liberum Waffle. Can I get some maple syrup with that or do I have to use the shitty agave stuff?
tuffy's soup recipe
1 preschool
10 gal. diethyl ether
1 c. metal shavings
hatred
light preschool on fire, add diethyl ether and metal shavings to taste. simmer.
irina's red velvet unicorn cupcakes
2.5 cups cake flour
2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
1 teaspoon salt
1.5 cups sugar
1.5 cups vegetable oil
2 large eggs
.5 teaspoon unicorn blood
1 cup buttermilk
1.5 teaspoons baking soda
happiness
mix all ingredients, adding enough unicorn blood to reach desired color. put in muffin/cupcake tins and bake for 20 minutes. while baking, read 300 books and make cream cheese frosting.
wait until cakes have cooled to frost.
“if you want to be a bird,” you said once, “with colorful plumage and buoyant trills, you must also be ready for hollow bones."
The Liberum Waffle
Buy pancakes
Make pancakes
Carve squares into them
Claim they're waffles
It's how I was raised.
Also, these are tacos.
Si vis pacem, para bellum
Shit! That just reminded me to get up off my ass and shred the enchilada chicken in the crock pot! I turned it off like 2 hours ago. Shit shit shit.
irina's red velvet unicorn cupcakes
2.5 cups cake flour
2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
1 teaspoon salt
1.5 cups sugar
1.5 cups vegetable oil
2 large eggs
.5 teaspoon unicorn blood
1 cup buttermilk
1.5 teaspoons baking soda
happiness
mix all ingredients, adding enough unicorn blood to reach desired color. put in muffin/cupcake tins and bake for 20 minutes. while baking, read 300 books and make cream cheese frosting.
wait until cakes have cooled to frost.
Makes so much sense!
Also, these are tacos.
Those look like flautas, dropped in a sauce, covered with cheese.
It looks like an airplane.
Those look like something delicious.
Also, these are tacos.
Those look like flautas, dropped in a sauce, covered with cheese.
I know. But for some reason, they're called tacos.
Si vis pacem, para bellum
Eitherway, send me some.
Now there's an idea. Whenever I'm back at EP, I'll send out some Chico's to you fine people.
Si vis pacem, para bellum
Olives and Carrots
- .
Also, these are tacos.
Those look like flautas, dropped in a sauce, covered with cheese.
I know. But for some reason, they're called tacos.
Taquitos?
This is why we can't have nice things.
Buy pancakes
Make pancakes
Carve squares into them
Claim they're waffles
I laughed and laughed.
This is why we can't have nice things.
1 preschool
10 gal. diethyl ether
1 c. metal shavings
hatred
light preschool on fire, add diethyl ether and metal shavings to taste. simmer.
That's... not at all dark.
This is why we can't have nice things.
Also, these are tacos.
Those look like flautas, dropped in a sauce, covered with cheese.
I know. But for some reason, they're called tacos.
Taquitos?
Chico's Tacos. There's a peculiar distinction between tacos and taquitos/flautas... and these guys didn't see it, apparently.
Si vis pacem, para bellum
Buy pancakes
Make pancakes
Carve squares into them
Claim they're waffles
I laughed and laughed.
No tacos for you!
I'm sure you'd've hated them anyway, being a food hipster and all.
Si vis pacem, para bellum
fucking texan beaners, always doing it wrong.
Either way, I would eat the hell out of that.
This is why we can't have nice things.
AKA doing it Texan (wrong).
Okay, okay, you can have some.
Si vis pacem, para bellum
Buy pancakes
Make pancakes
Carve squares into them
Insist they're waffles
I laughed and laughed.
No tacos for you!
I'm sure you'd've hated them anyway, being a food hipster and all.
Not eating shitty food doesn't make one a hipster. You'll understand this around the time you hit your thirties.
This is why we can't have nice things.
Buy pancakes
Make pancakes
Carve squares into them
Insist they're waffles
I laughed and laughed.
No tacos for you!
I'm sure you'd've hated them anyway, being a food hipster and all.
Not eating shitty food doesn't make one a hipster. You'll understand this around the time you hit your thirties.
Again, that depends on your definition of "hipster". But yes, when I'm in my thirties, I'm pretty sure I'd be avoiding shitty food for more... practical reasons than for the stylish appeal... like not being fat, and stuff.
Si vis pacem, para bellum
You'll be avoiding shitty food because you will have had good food and will be able to tell the difference.
This is why we can't have nice things.
I've had good food. I can tell the difference. I, myself, remain indifferent.
Si vis pacem, para bellum
Well, when you're a grownup tomorrow, let me know if that indifference changes.
This is why we can't have nice things.
Tuffy, you're not being very grown up now either. 
Hey, he can carve squares into the pancakes all he wants; his not caring what garbage he shovels down his gullet does not make me a "hipster".
For perspective, this whole issue began when Justin couldn't decide between Papa John's Pizza or Domino's Pizza and I asked him if there were any actual good pizzarias where he lived. You know, rather than those two crap choices. Our Liberatum jumped on me hard for not enjoying catsup-coated cardboard covered in pasturized cheeze-food product and declared that this made me somehow a "hipster". He didn't know what the word meant but he used it as an insult.
I may just be a snob. Or perhaps an elitist. I'd disagree with that assessment, but I'd accept it as a valid opinion. But a hipster?
At my age, you know, I may have been a hipster before it was cool. But really I wasn't.
This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm surprised you care so much.
If you are going to hate a man, hate him for the evil he's done, not for the evil you've imagined. - William Faulkner.
This is why we can't have nice things.
Right? To put things in a more simple perspective, I called him a food hipster as a joke.
Si vis pacem, para bellum
And for the record, the meaning of the word "hipster" seems to have changed since your time, Tuffs. Why is that so hard to imagine, considering that word's been thrown around a lot as of late?
"Jumped on me hard..."
Ummm... I remember saying, "Ugh, food hipsters," jokingly. I'm not sure you have enough perspective on this to be trying to give it out.
Si vis pacem, para bellum
Christ, y'all need to lighten the hell up.
Too many people think that 'hipster' and 'snob' are synonymous, they really shouldn't be. Though I suppose in some ways they have become that.
I agree with all of this. And it should be for this reason...
...but Taco Bell and Dunkin Donuts rock
in that why the hell did I just eat that and why do I feel so bloated sort of way.
The fanciest thing I've eaten was a Basque tapa, with beef, the best gravy ever and asparagus, on a tiny slice of baguette.
I suppose it's because modern hipsters act snobbish about their cultural preferences, like music, film, beer, fashion... and food. Which reminds me, I know a lot of people here love Nutella, and I'm starting to see it in all these coffee shops. I don't get why it's becoming trendy. Maybe cuz it's Italian, and Italians can't go fashionably wrong.
Si vis pacem, para bellum
1 cup of oyster crackers
1/2 head of iceberg lettuce
15 oz can of chili
copious amounts of alcohol
Line giant salad bowl with leaves of lettuce. Heat up chili in the can eat out of it when ready. Drink the copious amounts of alcohol 'til sick to your stomach. Regurgitate into salad bowl already lined with leaves of lettuce. Sprinkle oyster crackers over the salad and serve. (Please don't be mad at me Hattie, I hope you realize this is all in jest)
Haha, awesome. I hope you don't mind if I just take your word for it's tastiness!
So, all those ironic facial hair farmers drink Pabst because it really is the finest beer available?
This is why we can't have nice things.
Not if they're in college. I find that around here, that PBR thing's a myth. The truly hipster stick to IPAs and porters, and I live in Austin. Hipster central.
Si vis pacem, para bellum
Why do they think those Revenge of the Nerds glasses they wear look good, though?
Not if they're in college. I find that around here, that PBR thing's a myth. The truly hipster stick to IPAs and porters, and I live in Austin. Hipster central.
Once again Texans doing it wrong and GTFO of my thread with that Texan hipster shit.
Girrrrrrrrl, our hipsters could kick your hipsters' asses using only their mustaches. That kinda rhymed, so it must be true.
Si vis pacem, para bellum
Texan hipster
omg hahaha that's like a Mexican Elf. A Mexican Leprechaun. A Melfrechaun.
I've seen plenty of New York and San Francisco hipsters drinking PBR ...or other shitty beers like Red Stripe. My theory is they drink it because of the vintage appeal of the packaging/label design. It matches their carefully curated thrift store threads.
Nutella is delicious, but it's really expensive in this country. I don't really understand why.
HA!
Justin's Popcorn Surprise:
-Go to movies
-Buy bag of popcorn
-Cut hole in bottom of popcorn bag
-Insert dick into hole
-Ask friend if he'd like some popcorn