Jokes That Make No Sense
Post your own original jokes that make no sense!
A short, stocky man walks into a fancy restaurant. The maitre d' asks if he has a reservation. The man tells him he doesn't need one because he is a short, stocky man.
The maitre d' seats him next to the kitchen. The short, stocky man complains about his table location. So the maitre d' tells him not to worry, once he sees today's specials he'll be happy that he's sitting there.
The short, stocky man reads the specials clipped to the front of the menu and smiles. They are serving lamb.
From New Zealand.
HAHAHAHA!!!
That's a joke?
I walked into a resturant staffed entirely by paraplegics. A sign was posted over the register near the no smoking sign that read "Please do not TIP the waitresses"
Get it?
A big fat woman was devouring a huge plate of food, sitting near me in the cafeteria on my luchbreak at work. Between voracious,salivating, bites she would complain about her weight. I said...
"Well,you know if you didn't eat so much and diet and excercise you can drop it"
She said "It's hopeless,I've tried them all, it's hereditary,being overweight runs in my family"
I said "Sounds to me like nobody RUNS in your family"...woka Woka! 
You shit on these nukkas two times Dr.Dre?
Oh Fo' Sho'!
Heidi Montag.
I walked into a resturant staffed entirely by paraplegics. A sign was posted over the register near the no smoking sign that read "Please do not TIP the waitresses"
Get it?
A big fat woman was devouring a huge plate of food, sitting near me in the cafeteria on my luchbreak at work. Between voracious,salivating, bites she would complain about her weight. I said...
"Well,you know if you didn't eat so much and diet and excercise you can drop it"
She said "It's hopeless,I've tried them all, it's hereditary,being overweight runs in my family"
I said "Sounds to me like nobody RUNS in your family"...woka Woka! :)
I'm sorry but those jokes make sense. I'm looking for original jokes that make no sense.
I came up with those! I might have subconsiencely copied them..I thought I came up with them though. Yeah,sorry about them making sense,I wasn't paying attention.
You shit on these nukkas two times Dr.Dre?
Oh Fo' Sho'!
They're good, but they make sense, i.e. the punchline is funny.
A puertorrican waits in line for his welfare check, when he realizes he just won the lottery. He then proceeds to fold the ticket and stick into his pants and decides to wait for the check anyways.
So...We are still going to die. Right?
Q: How many surrealists does it take to cross the road?
A: Lobster.
This is why we can't have nice things.
Not nonsensical enough or perfectly sensible, you decide.
This is why we can't have nice things.
A pornstar walks into a bar and hands the bartender a condom. The bartender replies: "Why would you give me a fucking condom?"
Is there a non-fucking kind?
So...We are still going to die. Right?
{doing it wrong .gif}
What did the hobo get for Christmas?
Nothing.
"It is true, that which I have revealed to you; there is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream - a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought - a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities."
a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."
Mulholland Drive
that was more of an anecdote.
Or a pithy quip.
This is why we can't have nice things.
or the most boring foreplay ever to a lesbian scene.
that was the one with the lesbian scene, right?
Ishtar
ALLEN WAYNE
This guy goes to school for five years and earns a masters. He is fortunate enough to find a job that pays about half to a third of what his friends are making with four year degrees but is able to buy a house and take care of his family so he's content. Now, the media is getting on him, and the rest of his colleagues, for being overpaid and inadequate. Furthermore, because the state and government doesn't know how to budget money, this guy may soon be out of a job.
Nice.
This is why we can't have nice things.
BPL.
What's that one mean?
DAT MAKE NO SENSE!
This is why we can't have nice things.
“if you want to be a bird,” you said once, “with colorful plumage and buoyant trills, you must also be ready for hollow bones."
There was once a man from Nantucket.
Then he died.
A rabbi, a priest, and a gay man walk into a bar.
The gay man says to the priest "I want some salty peanuts."
The rabbi tells him "No! We only eat pistachios!"
Then the priest says "I think I need to go potty."
A fat girl tries on some small shoes that do not fit her feet.
The salesman suggests that they go set fire to a seven - eleven.
A man walks into a liquor store.
The man at the counter asks for some ID because he looks so young.
The man who just walked in strips down till he's naked and says "I like waffles!"
Huge cock, little feet.
A bird flies into the face of some little girl.
She wins the spelling bee by a landslide.
Magic Johnson has AIDS.
Heidi Klum has AIDS.
Some children in Africa got herpes from their Playstations.
I like big butts and I cannot lie
All you brothers are stupid.
A doctor comes into the waiting room and tells the family that their son only has an hour to live.
They celebrate the birth of a kitten by getting ice cream.
Somebody, somewhere is getting their fingernails done.
The lady doing them says to him / her "I likey kosher hot dogs!"
Noah walks into a bar and takes his shirt off and takes yet another fucking picture of himself with his shirt off and puts it on facebook, therefore making me feel fat.
Someone should give him money.
I read a book once about Marxism.
The man then blows his load on the book and says "I thought we were supposed to eat spinach?"
*bows*
ADR for silent movies.
Jim7.
this made me laugh
A recovering anorexic male decides it's his passion to help people like himself and declares it his passion to become a psychiatrist. To gain experience in the hospital, he volunteers in their central supply department on Tuesday nights. Turns out his supervisor is a werewolf. One time, they run out of work to do, so they pirate Little Shop of Horrors on the internet, and once they're through watching that, they engage in erotic needleplay. The kid says to the supervisor, "I think I accidentally parked in a physician parking spot."
Then the supervisor eats him with barbecue sauce and potatoes.
Then the supervisor eats him with barbecue sauce and potatoes.
Sounds like an excerpt out of Trueposer's memoir.
Indeed.
This is why we can't have nice things.
There was this chick, and everything was going pretty great, not a lot of worries, but then Jesus knocked her teeth out.
That was her violent husband Haysues and he told her to stop flirting around in that hat.
lqtm
You guys and your Hindi jokes are never gonna catch on and go mainstream...They're always gonna stay hINDY jokes!
A: Lobster.
Perfectly sensical and disqualified.
I forgot I posted this.
Inside joke between me and a deceased friend. I wonder why I posted it here.
Two blondes walk into a bar. One of them says, "Giant orange cock!"
thanks for sharing.blackhawk tactical pants.
— Spambot
"I could have done worse!" exultantly cried the murderer Lebret, sentenced at Rouen to hard labor for life. — Félix Fénéon