Yay Melody! Hmmm. What do I get you?

I cant remember if I stated how much I enjoy Melody or not. I'm also too lazy to look through the thread.

Hooray for Melody!

Yeah, yay for Melody! She sure reads a lot and is pretty and I like her honesty.

I apporve of this thread.

since you culties started behaving I decided to let you have your cultie of the week
I didn't think I was gonna get to make this person cultie of the week but with a pleasant comeback Cultie of the Week is...

NightriousFrank!

Drank Funk may be dead but his legend lives on. He's a charmer, he's a cop, he's beaner, and the nicest asshole you'll ever meet. Ladies beware he'll knock you up just by looking at you and guys beware he might drive you straight through a public park after bar hopping. I could go on and on about why Frank is awesome but I'll let you guys fill in the blanks. Oh and he has one of the best Cult Sidekicks ever Sinatra!

Congratulations!

Here is some poop

Bacon donut

and a shirt

Yay Frank!

Yay! It's so good to have Frank back at the Cult! He's awesome.

Thank you Jazmyn.

Yay Frank!

here are some donuts:

and a Messi t-shirt: (I had to google messi camiseta to find more pics)

EDIT: I know that's not this season's shirt.

You get huevos rancheros:

Vintage Bossk Star wars action figure:

And a flask:

Enjoy homie.

I think you were about to take your leave when I joined. Dont really know ya, but Congrats on Cultie Of The Week!!

That's good Enough (See what I did there?)

Mmmmmmmm donuts. I just woke up and those huevos rancheros looking delicious.

Congratulations Frank! I am glad you came back.

I got you some beer to go with those donuts:

And this thingmabob for Sinatra:

That is the most homosexual looking beer I've ever seen. And I didn't know dogs were magnetic.

Anyway, Frank is alright. I guess.

I haven't tried it so I have no idea if it tastes gay. I guess it is something like $150 a case. Pretty expensive novelty.

Well HAD to post the bacon wrapped one right off the bad, didn't you! That's a grand finale level doughnut, not an appetizer. Get it together, Jaz.

Haha... I wonder what a gay beer would taste like. I just realized that it's bacon flavored. Which I guess explains the pink. And the price. But it's a cool looking bottle, and I'm pretty sure Frank likes pink things (I'm talking about shirts). At least I think 2008 Frank did. I don't know what 2011 Frank is into.

I'll give him a shiny new chat banhammer since his old one must be worn out by now. It's not exactly a new model but it's a gift so don't you dare complain!

Thanks for the broken picture link, Jekala. I knew you cared!

Also, what the heck is up with that poo magnet? I would drink that beer, but I'm sure I'd probably get the runs.

I told you what it was! Whatever you're picturing, that's probably it.

And I've been wanting to say...

I love this penguin. With all my heart.

Thats my power animal. Yay Fight Club!!!

Ahhhh indeed I do! Very Clever!

Then you could wear the poo magnet yourself.

Frank, glad to see you again. Oh, and my offer still stands for the beers and donuts at, you guessed it, http://voodoodoughnut.com/index.php . And yes, they make those maple bars with bacon on them. And they go great with the pink beer. From the same brewery as:

It might look gay, but it's brewed

You are hilarious.

Here's a game jersey, Frank. Congratulations !

I need to try the double dead guy one of these days.

Ludwig, I love it it. Pepper, please do and report back on it!

Hey Frank, I tried to find you something cool, but I failed.

Here are some nice words from me to you:

I'm glad you're back and I think you are super.

Sorry I skipped last week but I needed a break.

Cultie of the week is

Nightrious Endless Mike!

Okay so no one's made him a birthday thread, had he not bitched about it in PA I would've made him a belated thread but now he has to suffer the perils of being Cultie of the Week. So everyone get out your best lungs and blow him up the hottest girlfriend you can find. We also need lots of balloons to blow up for this dudes birthday bash that he never has. Put on your party dresses and dancing shoes cuz this guy needs to experience a real cult party. Mike is a cool guy but is always getting mixed up with another Mike who's name is not really Mike and don't make the mistake of comparing him to Fano. Even though I've done all these horrible things Mike has been a cool guy. He's helped me out with homework and I enjoy reading his fb statuses. So show this guy some love even though you may not think you know who he is but you really do.

Congratulations Mike!
Sorry I have weak lungs



And I found you some groupies

Let the Party Begin!

I like Mike. He makes me smile.

I got him a water birthing mama doll, because we argued about these things once but were actually talking about the same thing, and because it is more amusing than a blow up doll. (although I am suddenly double guessing whether that really was him I had that conversation with... this might be a more awkward gift than I first imagined if that is the case, it is already wrapped though so...)

and an endless cake for his birthday

and a giant pile of autumn leaves to jump into

Yay for Mike! He has the best birthday ever!

Let's have a picnic at the beach to celebrate out birthdays:

I got you a Tikinator tiki mug too:

Pepper, that water birth doll is disturbing!

Congrats Mike, here are songs lyrics slightly edited but originally written by the late, great Wesley Willis.

You are a rock star
You are a rock legend to the max
You can really knock it out
You can really wupp a horse's ass

_eNdLeSs_MiKe_
_eNdLeSs_MiKe_
_eNdLeSs_MiKe_
_eNdLeSs_MiKe_

You are a rocking maniac
You are a singing hyena
You are a rock star in Jesus' name
You can really rock Saddam Hussein's ass

_eNdLeSs_MiKe_
_eNdLeSs_MiKe_
_eNdLeSs_MiKe_
_eNdLeSs_MiKe_

You are my sweet woman to the end
You are my honey lover to the max
You are my sweetheart for years to come
You are so lovable to me in the long run

_eNdLeSs_MiKe_
_eNdLeSs_MiKe_
_eNdLeSs_MiKe_
_eNdLeSs_MiKe_

Taco Bell, make a run for the border

Video link for comparison

That doll is horrifying but I hope you enjoy your reign as J-COW.

I love J-COW's they're soo adorable.

This Cultie was supposed to be the Cultie of the week that I skipped but I couldn't find a damn picture!
So cultie of the week is

Nateightrious!

Where is Nate? Everybody loves Nate or at least nobody hates him. He's made some amazing movies, loves Moby Dick, and I picture him to look like Chevy Chase chewing gum. He even has his own cult song, the bastard. I don't want to taint this cultie's reputation anymore so I'll just award him his gifts already.

I got you a video game

some mood rings

And a shirt so we can find you when you get lost

congratulations Nate!

I like him. Usually.

Nate, you're way cool, but not around enough!

SO! BE AROUND MORE!

Nate is a pretty cool guy. eh appears and reappears and doesnt afraid of anything.

I just listened to Paris and the Hiltons' "Where the Fuck is Nate?" in your honor.

Wait, why don't I know that song?

That was one of the original songs from way back. Perhaps you missed it when he posted it.

I know Jane's, Frank's, Tuffy's and mine. I didn't know there were more.

I enjoyed Nightrious Will Survive. Sometimes it randomly pops into my head.

At first I was a fiend, I was petrifiend...

You're all depressing me. I'm a crappy fan

You went and visited Paris and the Hiltons. You're more than a fan. You're a groupie!

Hah, not really.

Don't worry, so you missed a few songs. That dude pumps out music faster than I care to imagine. He's put out like 5 albums in a year and a half or some ridiculous number. PROLIFIC!

Which reminds me of PROPHYLACTIC!