Jaz's Cultie of the Week
I did steal a pic from your facebook 
Pete, you're very generous with your PDFs.
If you were a steak, you'd be heavily marbled.
I was going to say that if Pete were dessert, he'd be baklava, but the cult ruined baklava, so now Pete is tzatziki sauce.
Lmao
Yay for Pete!
I would totally dance to Zorba the Greek and smash plates with Pete.
Even if he was a baby with tats.
This thread is bullshit until I'm the cultist of the week every week.
*ignoring Nightrious the gatecrasher* Congrats Pete!
Goooo Pete! 
Pete, this doesn't change anything. You're still a malaka.
- I love steak!
- When and how did the cult ruin baklava? I don't remember that.
- Sarah, I'll dance and break plates with you any day.
- Nightrious, you're cultie of every week in my book.
- Brandon, shouldn't you be writing Hindi jokes or something?
Don't ask about the baklava, you don't wanna hear that story.
Baklava is the new Cult Lobster
Either way, I'm eating baklava this weekend. We are having our annual bbq. You're all invited!
I'm not sure if I should be excited, grossed out, or jealous. But I guess I picked a good week to make you Cultie of the week, FREE FOOD! I'm there.
Congrats, Pete!
But you all made me hungry and I am just too lazy right now to make something to eat.
Mom's gonna fix it all soon.
yay pete! Now come around moe often.
It's that time again... out with the Malakas and in with the Gripes of Merlot
Cultie of the Week is
Nightrious Justin!
Better known as Bearchaser, chubbychops, subbysocks, or the naked guy with "Merlot?" It's been quite an evolution from asking advice about sex toys, committing two Culticides(Cult suicide) publicly on the forums, and returning as a different man. I barely recognized this new form/side of Justin. Yeah he still bitches about life,(we all do), has a hard time breaking out of himself, but there's this new honesty to him that has changed my mind of this bearchasing whiner. He makes some fun threads and makes me laugh from time to time.
So everyone raise a glass of merlot for our cultie of the week
Cheers!
I got you some butt plugs (NSFW)
http://fastcache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/4/2007/09/buttplg.jpg
Got you this map
And I tried to get you a shirt but this dude insisted that he came with the shirt
He's a good guy. Very deserving.
Congrats!
have some submariney socks!
Are the scissors broken in your house, son?
I love you guys.
Justin, congrats. With all this extra money (doesn't this come with a stipend?) you can put out that line of greeting cards. Starting with 'Merlot' of course.
I feel more like I do now than I did before.
That's what Justin looks like now? Dayummmmm.
A hollowed out book that you haven't read yet (and it's technical writing so no loss) for you to store the key to your heart or your porn or something important like that.
You can go ahead and keep that song that reminded me of you.
It's taken way too long for me to get around to picking this special cultie
Cultie of the week is....
Nightrious Imke!
Imke is one of my favorite cultie's of all time, a week is not enough to celebrate her awesomeness. She's adorable and known for her cute smiley faces. Most of us see her as innocent and pure but don't get on her bad side she'll kick your ass with cuteness.
Congratulations Imke!
Here are your prizes
and
A pinata full of inside jokes. Along with a friendly crowd of real live Mexicans, ready to be your friends.
And a flying, long distance, concert high five.
Imke is awesome. Ausgezeichnet.
I feel more like I do now than I did before.
It has come to my attention that the people standing around the pinata are more Philadelphian than Mexican.
So I dug up that normal sized, slightly used pinata from high school that I once told you about. I wrote over what I think was once a misspelled Swedish sexual proposition or preposition.
Imke gets cookies!
Yay Imke! You get balloons
Something cute
And a chocolate fountain
You're one of my favourite Culties!
JUSTIN AND IMKE AND NO ME!?
This thread has lost all credibility.
Go to bed.
Thank you, everyone! You are all awesome! Jessica, that flying, long distance, concert high five made me laugh, haha. Yeahh! ^5
He-He.
I feel more like I do now than I did before.
Congratulations Imke!
Imke is one of the best for sure. A well-deserved Cultie of the Week!
since you just saw the Roots at that awesome festival, here is a ?uestlove doll
Are the scissors broken in your house, son?
EDIT...fail
Félicitations, Imke !
There are a few of you that are close to being culties of the week, don't give up! It's just tough choosing one every week. This week we have...
Nightrious ChesterPane!
in my ass, always calling me JazzleDazzle and being the story police
This guy kinda came out of no where found himself a comfy seat and engaged in our conversation as if he had been sitting there the whole time. Chester has some great art work, recently read one of his stories, and he's brought a certain gonzo pep around here that we've been missing. Not too mention I think he loves the Girly Thread more than Tuffy does, but it maybe more for the sexy girls posted in there and not so much the girly things. I still haven't quite figured it out yet, which makes ChesterPester so fun! I'm glad you came and disturbed our somewhat droll days here at the Cult.
Congratulations!
Here are your rewards
Make-up remover
A sexy little black dress
And some movie tickets
Enjoy!
Yay CHESTER!
I got you these awesome shoes
"I'm glad I live in the GPS era. In a different century, I would've set off to visit the other side of the village and wandered off into the mountains and been eaten by a carnivorous plant. Or discovered the Americas."
-LaJessica
I got you these awesome shoes
hahaha those are great Des.
grats
It is for this outfit too that we like Chester. Congraaaats!
Your present:
Yay, Chester is my favourite 'newish' Cultist!
Godspeed!
Tears. Welling up. Lips quivering. Butterfly gutty.
Now I have to got get drunk. And celebrate with a certain tumblr.
By the way, where the fuck is Tuffy?
I feel more like I do now than I did before.
Now I have to got get drunk. And celebrate with a certain tumblr.
By the way, where the fuck is Tuffy?
He's here in spirits
Hooray for Chester! You were such a great newbie!
YAY CHESTER PANE
I GOT YOU SOME SHAPES
“if you want to be a bird,” you said once, “with colorful plumage and buoyant trills, you must also be ready for hollow bones."
Wait a minute. Imke that is past tense. Oh crap does this mean I am an 'oldbie' now. I feel like an oldbie.
I feel more like I do now than I did before.
Yay Chester! This is what your avatar always makes me think of and is also my gift to you
Are the scissors broken in your house, son?
Thanks Sam. I remember that episode. And yes, that is a nice simile.
I feel more like I do now than I did before.
Oh wow, thanks!
I barely participate lately, so I'm surprised.
You could have easily stolen a pic, from my facebook...
And Ritt, I hope you're not talking about the balck guy... I have much prettier eyes than him.