"IRONMAN" the novel
When he first arrived he mentioned coming from Mexico. I don't know if he's an American that grew up in Mexico or if he's just a straight up beaner.
[QUOTE=Smartazboy;1085690]When he first arrived he mentioned coming from Mexico. I don't know if he's an American that grew up in Mexico or if he's just a straight up beaner.[/QUOTE]
Ha! I asked the same shit to Jane the other day cause I haven't been here in a while and I'm trying to catch up with everything that's going on.
Me - "What's up with Iron Man? Is he a beaner? I think he's a beaner."
Jane - "I do too."
Me - "He sounds like a beaner."
I make an appearance. I am validated, finally.
[B][SIZE=1]:reporter: [COLOR=Yellow]HOW DOES IT FEEL?[/COLOR]
[COLOR=LimeGreen]:bandit: OKAY, I GUESS
:reporter:[COLOR=yellow] THIS IS COLONREPORTERCOLON REPORTING FROM IRONMAN THE NOVEL[/COLOR]
:bandit: WITH COREBANDIT! BRRAP![/SIZE][/COLOR][/B]
I wonder if he's much funnier in Spanish.
Si senor, heesa vairy funnee!
[QUOTE=MinervaG2;1085702]Ha! I asked the same shit to Jane the other day cause I haven't been here in a while and I'm trying to catch up with everything that's going on.
Me - "What's up with Iron Man? Is he a beaner? I think he's a beaner."
Jane - "I do too."
Me - "He sounds like a beaner."[/QUOTE]
He posts normally how I post drunk.
[QUOTE=Smartazboy;1085709]He posts normally how I post drunk.[/QUOTE]
Link please!
I thought it was pretty funny just the way it is
nice abs no wonder they call him the ironman
who is that fag
he's his cousing
he's a beaner alright.
i have spoken with him on the phone, albeit briefly. his voice was surprisingly pleasant. not AT ALL what i was expecting.
[QUOTE=MinervaG2;1085702]Ha! I asked the same shit to Jane the other day cause I haven't been here in a while and I'm trying to catch up with everything that's going on.
Me - "What's up with Iron Man? Is he a beaner? I think he's a beaner."
Jane - "I do too."
Me - "He sounds like a beaner."[/QUOTE]
You did NOT say beaner, you said Mexican. Most people tone the racism down when telling the story later, not up.
There is hope, but not for us.
[QUOTE=corellion;1085708]Si senor, heesa vairy funnee![/QUOTE]
he said spanish, not [I]gungan[/I].
[QUOTE=happy_hooker;1085946]he's a beaner alright.
i have spoken with him on the phone, albeit briefly. his voice was surprisingly pleasant. not AT ALL what i was expecting.[/QUOTE]
Like Enrique Iglesias? No way?! That's my baby!
Seriously though, I don't trust people's voices. I don't care how sexy he sounds. He's NOTHING like my baby!
This is like that VT shooter guys stories except less intelligent.
[QUOTE=MinervaG2;1086221]Like Enrique Iglesias? No way?! That's my baby!
Seriously though, I don't trust people's voices. I don't care how sexy he sounds. He's NOTHING like my baby![/QUOTE]
i never said sexy
...and you also didn't say he sounded like my baby, Enrique Iglesias.
Why does he think frank's a shemale?
did i miss a post or something??
I like how awesome I am in this.
[QUOTE=nathaniel parker;1086702]Why does he think frank's a shemale?
did i miss a post or something??[/QUOTE]
It was his way of trying to insult me when he first joined here.
I thought he started calling you that because you reprimanded him for something once, and he wasn't very happy about it.
I'm sure thats part of it.
Oh shit, I didn't read the bit before!!! That's hilarious. Hooker don't get upset about it, please. I got raped and I was laughing. The you being my older sister bit... it's a little dirty. It is amusing though. This must never be stopped until he's literally churned out like a novel length work. Please.
[QUOTE=Ironman;1084989]Night: So… can I shoot her?
Ironman: No man, We got to torture her first.
Me and Nightrious are in the roof of the building next to Happy_Hooker’s Apartment.
Night: There she is man, I got a clean shoot.
Ironman: No! She must die slowly.
We are both carrying Snipers, And are full equipped for night Fighting.
Jill’s Tit “I’m all done up here” he speaks in to the radio.
Night: Hold on. Shes taking her cloth’s off.
Jill: No fair! I Wanna Watch.
Im taping it right now. Im taping everything. I don’t tell them this. I whant to be able to watch this video over and over.
Night: Let me describe it to you Tit.
Jill: OK.
Night: She is in her underweare and bra. She rubbing baby oil on her thighs and ass. Damn She has a good body. Now there is someone coming, it’s a kid. Hey Ironman Isn’t that her brother?
[B][COLOR=DarkOrange]Ironman: Yeah man. It’s Little Corellion. I got to almost see him has a son. He must be 12 or 13 years old right now.[/COLOR][/B]
Few seconds of silence.
Jill: Whats going on!
Night: “Hold on they are just talking.” Few more seconds “Ok Now Hooker is laying head down on the bed and Corellion is putting baby oil on her back. His now on her hips and slowly moving south. Shes sitting up now. They are both just talking… HOLY SHIT IRONMAN ARE YOU SEEING THIS!!!!?
Jill: What’s Going on!?
Night: There making out! She has her hand under his pants. She has just pulled them and is sucking his cock. That sick bitch. She’s taking her top off. Oh just look at those glorious Tit’s.
Jill: I’m Glorious?
Night: Shut up and listen. They are both naked. She is laying on top of her. The kid looks scared, Corellion is trying to push her away. His getting away! No wait, She literally has him from the ball’s. His sitting down an the bed. There are now doing the 69.
Jill: Now what’s happening.
Night: Still on 69. No wait, she is now on top him. Penetration has occurred there are fornicating. Yeah, she is coming lady’s and gentlemen. That sick pedophile incest rapist bitch!
Jill: That Lucky Sister-fucker.
Night: He is now doing her Doggy Style. Just look at that boy’s eyes. The fucking focus his putting in to this. There are now doing missionary.
Short moment
Jill: Now what!?
Night: They are just laying there, Naked, oily and sweaty. That bitch fucked his sensesly
Ironman: It’s time to go in.[/QUOTE]
Is Ironman saying he's my dad in the highlighted bit?
Also the initial amusement of this sort of blinded me to it's near erotica tendancies. Hilarious still, but it is quite graphic.
Anyway, Ironman, dude, can I like be my own age, please? (17)
[QUOTE=corellion;1086897]Hooker don't get upset about it, please. I got raped and I was laughing. The you being my older sister bit... it's a little dirty. It is amusing though. This must never be stopped until he's literally churned out like a novel length work. Please.[/QUOTE]
i'm not upset. i was a little shocked, but not upset. i am sadly curious to see where its going.
We go into the room by breaking a window and jumping in. The girl screams, Its not Happy, but the nanny, they look surprisingly similar. I Tell the bitch to calm the fuck down or I will throw her down the window. She gets a hold to her self and I look at Corellion. He barely has pubic hair and his fucking this hot piece of ass in her mid twenties. “Where is Hooker?” I ask calmly. “I don’t know man, she left me here with her and just took off” I’m planning to kill him. Video tape it and make Hooker watch it. Make her feel my pain. Plus he will soon grow strong and plot against me. I need to terminate him before he becomes a cancer infecting everything I have created, a virus still out side my system. But what if I brainwash him instead? Turn him against her. This is a risky move, but evidence shows I can do it. Would that break her heart into smaller pieces? Only if I play it right. I tell Night I need to make a phone call and go to the other room. “Don’t touch them until I get back” I make this loud and clear.
I speak to him in his ear mic. Only he can hear this “Bad cop, good cop. I’m in 20 minutes starting now” I lay down a lazy boy chair and put my i-pod on. I listen to Metallica and Nine Inch Nails, then She wants Revenge and end up with “Iron man” from The black Sabbath. I walk inside and Corellion is tied up in a steal chair with his hands behind his back. The headless body of the girl laying on the floor. Night gave Corellion a Viagra pill, took the girls head, open her mouth and put Cor’s Dick in it. His face is all bloody and his thighs burned with cigarettes. Jills Tit’s Vomit in the closet. Corellion is sobbing and looks at me. I look at Night and scream “You fucking worthless puppet! I told you to not touch him. You have broken my command now DIE!” I shoot him in the chest and tell Tit to take him to the Mansion. Barely conscious I hear his soft voice that say’s “Thank you Ironman” Tit puts a blanket on him and walks away.
“That was good” I say. Night stands up and answers “I think I was to strong on him” “Nah, The bigger the trauma the better” I had blank bullets in my gun. It was all an act. While eating a dry beef and rice in my car I think about Happy. How I will destroy her. Show her the video of the torture Corellion. Make her feel what I feel, Take away her soul, anything humane left inside her spirit. We where once lovers, Now she is prey. Am bored with this world, I need to start a war with She-male. It nothing personal between us. There is nothing personal in the games for power. There is actually a respect among us. We enjoy the same thing. We are the same thing. We want the masses to fear us instead of loving. They are nothing but chess pieces to us, are war games the ultimate chess board. Tactics and Strategy’s are endless. Freedom to act vast. We are who control the world. We decide who lives and dies. We control your destiny. We became our own Parents. We became your leaders. We became Hypnotic demons. We became immortal.
I would so totally be in a hit squad with Ironman and Nightrious. But I don't throw up in closets. That bit should be changed to me throwing up on Corellion. 
Also, I wanna be the sniper!
I please make cameo in Novel?
That's pretty fucking wrong on a couple of levels. Still hilarious in it's own perverted way.
fuck. i love you , ironman.
i especially like "while eating a dry beef and rice in my car, i think of Happy"
dry beef sounds grosser than regular beef. is it like jerkey?
-semen sack muff love-
[CENTER][B][SIZE=7][URL=http://www.chuckpalahniuk.net/community/showthread.php?t=31157&highlight=villista]The Gathering[/URL][/SIZE][/B][/CENTER]
Its raining hard, I enter the church and am amazed by all the saints imagines. I see a shadow walking with a candle. “Father! I been told you have something I need.” I say with a hellish voice. He jumps up, “Who… who is tha…that?” his voice is young, much too young.
“My name is Ironman, and you have something that belongs to me”
“What do you want?” he says nervously
“Information” I say with strong authority “I am looking for mother Happy, I been told you would know where she was”
“Who do you work for?”
“I work for no man. I am a good friend of mother happy and have something that belongs her. She will truly enjoy it”
He seems to calm down, “She left 3 days ago, I don’t know where too.”
“Could I see her room young man?”
“I don’t see why not, come this way” He turns around and guides me to a room, Turns a bed and open a small compartment in the floor. “She was down here” We go down the stairs, the stink of putrefied meat is strong. We walked throw a hall way of jail cell’s which where filled with young girls mostly. The floor is made of dirt. I see a man a bit older than me, Maybe 24. hand cuffed to the wall.
“what’s with all the prisoners?” I ask
“There are sacrifices for mother Happy, We need the pure virgins and the evil sinners. That right there is the sinner.”
We enter the room and it completely empathy except for a cat.
“Hey Cujo! Here is where you been!”
I start to tear up the bed and the table, searching for anything. I need a clue.
“What the hell do you think you are doing? Stop that right now!” The poor Irish bastard. Probably an orphan who finally felt he had a family in this cult. Striped from his brain, his nothing but a toy. His a fucking puppet.
Suddenly his voice changes, its calm but deep. “Stop it my son! You very well know this is not your destiny, Not this way…” I pick him up from the trought and shout at his face!
“Where is Happy you fucking shit eater!?”
His voice changes, had if the devil himself has posses him “Your sister is doing has planned. She will rule along my side when the army’s of hell break loose!” I notice that this is useless and cut his Adams apple with a Ninja Star. Go out side and see the man hand cuffed. I let him loose, And take him with me with the girls. Once in the van he tells me “My brother… They are killing him in name of Mother Happy. Does bloody bastards! We need to kill them!”
“You know where they are?”
“About ten miles North from here, we can drop the girls in a shelter and head there” He is weak but able to sit down. I agree not because I care about his brother, I did not save him or the girls because I am good guy. But because they are useful. The girls will make the problem real to the Irish Government, This man know the insides of the organization better than do. And my blood Lust is at his pick!
“I agree! Do you know how to use a uzi?”
“I served in the British army”
“Good” I tell him while handing him a couple. I take my ak47 and ask “So… What should I call you?”
“Call me Ritt”
What the fuck? Where have I gone? Ironman you defy not only every natural law of rationality, but you've also got no concept of transitioning. You suck.
[QUOTE=corellion;1097259]What the fuck? Where have I gone? Ironman you defy not only every natural law of rationality, but you've also got no concept of transitioning. You suck.[/QUOTE]
Do not use criticisms on my work before it is done ass wipe!
It'll never be as good as Choke 2.
I dont know am I happy or sad to be included but Thanks Ironamn, I am now immortall.
[B]I was going to make you a bad ass Irish revel. But i posted that intead and remenbered about it later.[/B]
************************************************
When we are about to leave a shadow come near. "You there! what is you busness?!" I shout pointing my Ak at him "My name if Father Barca, I am here to help you destroy the She-male."
I think I do want to be in this story after all.
{ <3's & boner sex }
i was a nun? fucking awesome. cant wait to see where this ends up.
oh, and corellion-- i htink you are dead.
[QUOTE=happy_hooker;1097802]i was a nun? fucking awesome. cant wait to see where this ends up.
oh, and corellion-- i htink you are dead.[/QUOTE]
Fuck that shit. This is the worst novel ever written. I better have a twin fucking brother that makes an appearance sharpish.
so... did derek die? im unsure of this.
love,
tom of the fjords
We are now driving to their religious ceremony. To save Ritt’s brother, some English bastard like him. Father Barca is against the She-males Religion, against his morals and principles that are sweeping throw Europa fast. “I also disagree with you” he say’s “but I figure the enemy of my enemy is my ally. At least for the moment.” Ritt is holding that UZI pretty tight. “Cujo has been with me for 3 years the Father say’s. Back in the church, that kid. She-male has been working with implants. That’s where Happy_Hookers money went to. It all becoming clear now. It was the He-she who spoke to me, not the kid. “My first cat run away, so I castrated this one.” I’m about to burst into rage. Instead of making a plan, making a strategy one how to get in he is talking about his fucking cat. We got some ceremonial robs in the back. I guess its just assumed we are going to put them on and walk in.
“You know… With out his balls he will live longer.” I say.
“Excuse me?”
“Cujo, with out his balls he will live longer. Same happens to men when they cut their testicles off. I once joined a cult at 13 that promoted longer and healthier life. Once I found out they where going to take my marvels I reacted and decided to leave. They tried to force me, and cut them off. I took an Iron blade from the table and cut my way out. I still have them, in perfect conditions I may add.” I say this last comment with a chuckle. “It’s the price for testosterone, I few more years has an old man. But for the quality of a life lived, its well worth it don’t you think father?”
“Why ye- yes my son”
“They called it the Yaqui valley Massacre. That’s when I learned disturbed people are dangerous, we know we can survive.”
We stop in front of the house. We put on black robes with a black cape, and this masks. They seemed like the ones you’ll see old European party’s use. Has the one the phantom of the Opera had on. We walk to the gate where two men are standing, “What’s the password?” one asks “Never Night” Barca answers. They open the gate and lets use in. while we are walking in the Father say’s “His name was Tom9d, he was a good kid. Just lost in all this.” I don’t give a fuck who he was. I don’t give a fuck if he was a good kid. I don’t give a fuck if the She-male controlled him. Hi is dead and that’s it. Cant he see this?
We walk in, our weapons concealed. I could cut all their guts to pices with only my short swords. We walk in a room where aphonicmessiah laid in the middle of a table, tied up. “That’s my brother! Ritt shouts. Everyone turns around and look at us. “With out move I take my costume and mask off and shout “Prepare to die you sons off bitche’s and when I pull the trigger it jambs. Some one shouts “Kill him!” Ripe my T-Shirt open and scream “Here I am, come and kill your leader you starving dogs!” They come into tears and drop to our feet, “We our sorry my Lord” “Please forgive us” some one shouts “HAIL MASTER IRONMAN!” followed be a uniform “Hail the great leader!”
I just look at the mass of masks. “You brought Glory to Ireland.” My cult had recently moved out off the basement. Me and Night first did it for the sex. You could brainwash these girls, has young has 13 and have them anyway you want. Night would rape them, you could her their plea for help, for him to stop. Afterwards he would tell them it was not rape but primal sex. And they would buy into it, and become really submissive. Once we saw they was a great power to be exploited we used it for monetary gain. The thing grew out of control. Our subjects in a hypnosis state with the trigger of one word. The mothers of these kids almost castrated me, but I got free once more. Me and Nightrious became Cult leaders there was no stopping us. But I learned something. Total control turns into total dependency. I just created and army of puppets. I realized what I had done a little before Happy_Hooker left. My plan was to conquer the She-Male, once this was done the rest of the Industrialized world would fall. Was this generation was dead its children would learn to be free by me. Science and philosophy would prosper. This is still the plan.
I was ready to chop the into pices, but they summated. Shit man, they always do. They remove their masks and bow down. “Open way” I say “We must cross.” They move to the side and leave an open trail to the table “Take your brother and lets leave” I tell Ritt. When he is releasing his brother I see this beautiful face. “Rise” I tell her. “What is your name?” “My name is Chaos my Lord” Beautiful pale skin, wide open brown eyes. I kiss her, I could no resist. She was one of the few girls I believe I can learn to love. “I will be back for you Lady Chaos” There is a Picture of Happy_Hooker in top of the ceremonial table. Its huge, there is an aura around her. “This is for you Master!” aphonicmessiah is standing in top of the table and cuts open his thought with the same blade Ritt used to set him free. He is sobbing next to his brothers dead body. Dark blood dripping to the floor.
I get a phone call from Night “She is here man, In Chicago! We got her now, get a plane immediately. She has entered the she-males headquarters. We are going in. Its all ending tonight.”
[QUOTE=Ironman;1097512][B]I was going to make you a bad ass Irish revel.[/QUOTE]
Leave those to the Pogues and the Tossers!
Also, did I die? Am I still in the story? I'm too lazy/sane to go back and find out.
Lady Chaos is going to thrilled.....
I had forgotten I was in this. Ironamn you are great are remembering things about people. My revel hat goes off to you.
All my years of training just for this night. I enter Splinter cell style. At the Laboratory I hold Spike at gun point and ask “Where is Happy_Hooker!?” “In Sector C, She-male Will be with her. But… you really will not like what you see.” My blood begins to boil. I set the mother fucker in flames with a tiny flame gun I made. He screams like a girl. I get in with his ID and…
There she is, more beautiful the she has ever been. Floating in a giant glass cylinder with all this fucking cables coming out from her. “What have they done to you?” The She-male jumps up from his chair when he hears me. “Ironman!?” I shoot the fucker in the stomach so he can have a painful and slow death.
“Look at you my dear, What have they done to you?”
“Ironman, Its not what you think”
“Shout the fuck up Frank! You fucking put her in that fish tank!” He is going to say something, but instead spits blood.
“Aw, my dear. I never meant to hurt you. I just… I just could not bare to live with out you. Please forgive me, I should had kill my enemies a long time ago. I should had think about us instead of my pointless games.” I begging to sob. I get closer and take a look at her face. Her lips are full and red. Her skin so clean. I cant believe she is dead.
“Ironman…” And he moans from the pain.
And has I stare at her, She opened her eyes. I step back out of the surprise. When I get a second to analyze this I shout “She’s alive, My baby is alive!” I take a fire extinguisher and run to break her free.
“Don’t do it Ironman, She has a new kind of bacteria…”
With one hit I break the glass. The yellowish liquid flow throw the ground. I get in and ripe the cables out. I Carrie her out and lay her in the floor.
“She has I bacteria in her Spike created in the Lab. It produces a new type of protein that keeps her young. She can never die of natural causes. We have made her a godess.” He has now collapse in the floor. A pool of blood around him.
“Ironman? Is that my silly boy I’m seeing?”
“Happy, I am so glad you are alive. We can now go on and live togheter. Frank is dead. We are free now. Lets go some place where nobody know us and star again”
She smiles at me. She has never looked better. Her firm whole naked breast in front of me. I have a full erection. I love this woman. I love everything about her. Her voice so delicate, so feminine.
And so she smiles and says. “My silly boy, war is in your blood. It while never end, not until we are all gone, until humanity has forgotten about us and becomes once more innocent, free” she says this with pain in her voice and eyes. After this I feel it. I sting in my ribs. “I am sorry Ironman. I really love you. But for the sake of humanity it has to end with you.” She has stabbed me with a piece of broken glass. I look at it and then I look at he and say “ My love, but…” and I kiss her. My brain is intoxicated by chemicals I have never felt before. I had the longest orgasm I have ever remember having. Just from that kiss. And I fall to the floor. Bleeding to my death. Her arm raped around my. Everything becoming dark, silent, peaceful. And then I ask my self; How do I want to be remembered? Killed by a woman? How will the further generations benefit from this? And so I reach to my pocket and take a neddle out. I inject her with a deadly poison. She starts shaking and expulsing bubbles of saliva. Everything is getting Dark now, everythings is getting silent, peaceful. I will prepare to meet my maker. And spit at his face.
Night: “Master, your going to make it. The invasion was a success. You are now Emperador. Just hold on master, we will put you back together again.”
[COLOR=Red][B][URL=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_z-hEyVQDRA&feature=related][COLOR=Red]"I AM IRONMAN!"[/COLOR][/URL][/B][/COLOR]
[I](Immortallity, take it. Its YOUR'S!)[/I]
*****************************************************************************************************************
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! All shit, all shit, all shit!
Happy_Hooker: “What’s wrong babe?”
“I just had a fucked up dream”
“Come back to bed, maybe I can calm you down”
“I love it when you look at me like that”
“With that ass, how could I not…”
**********************************************************************************************
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Xec8 jumps up from his bed in tears, shaking all his body has if he was getting bugs of him repeating “It was just a dream” over and over.
“What wrong sweet heart? Come back to bed im getting cold”
“Just a moment Bigshrimpin, My love. I just had a REALLY fucked up Nightmare”
Hehe I am!
[QUOTE=Ironman;1109512]Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Xec8 jumps up from his bed in tears, shaking all his body has if he was getting bugs of him repeating “It was just a dream” over and over.
“What wrong sweet heart? Come back to bed im getting cold”
“Just a moment Bigshrimping, My dear. I just had a REALLY fucked up Nightmare”[/QUOTE]
thi is such a ripoff of [I]St. Elsewhere[/I]!
I would like to thank the Cult for the inspiration.
And all the participants, Specialy Monkey who got shoot. You where a great sport.
And dont forget Xec8 and BigShrimpin.
and Ritt, and his brother. Barca Boy.
Times runnnig out .
Well forgive me if i left anybody out.
OH yeah and Frank...
And my tree Iron Angels!
Really gripping story.
[QUOTE=Prensa Taladradora;1085683]is ironman foreign?
he strikes me as ESL[/QUOTE]
That's the impression I always got as well, but you can't ask a question and get a straight answer from him so I haven't bothered investigating any further.