i need people to tell me what they think, EVERYONE!
be honest! tell me what you think of these two peoms, consturcktive critisim would be lovely.
I was born in love.
My early years we're filled with obnoxious music
needles, powder, and smoke.
They did me wrong.
Then I got thrown into a different kind of love.
A cleaner, more conservitative love.
A strict kind of love.
Although that love was pure I longed for the first love.
The love that did me wrong, the love I forgave.
Although the second was clean and pure.
Why do we always go back to the love that did us wrong?
thats the first one.
second..
That misleading heartbeat.
So loudly beneath your chest,
leading me to beleive that yes, you really like me.
yes, i excite you.
yes,yes,yes.
Wrong.
the next day confused and ignoring sleep and food.
all my self worth goes to you.
my self worth is not my own, just like our bodies are not our own.
if i think highly of myself i will take it too far.
its either black or white.
life or death; there is no being content.
this fuck of a being, a body, a face.
this fuck of a mistake that god made.
or this lovely girl standing in the mirror.
with her blue eyes.
Yes,yes,yes
that's what your heartbeat leads me too.
Yes,yes,yes,
if only i could beleive what other people say is true.
pleaase tell me what y'all think<3
even if you dont like them, tell me how i can improve.
danielle xo
We think you're fucking annoying.
a. - if you want real constructive criticism, go to LitReactor.com
b. - before you do that, you might want to spell all the words in your first sentence right. Nobody is going to take you seriously if the question of asking for a critique is totally misspelled.
You wanted us to give "consturcktive critisim" of your "peoms"...
b. - before you do that, you might want to spell all the words in your first sentence right. Nobody is going to take you seriously if the question of asking for a critique is totally misspelled.
You wanted us to give "consturcktive critisim" of your "peoms"...
No seh was rjght the fisrt time. Seh wantz consturcktive critisim and the are obiesly peoms. Can't you tell the differenze Pete? I'm suprized sense your the Book Klub mod and all.
grrr If I wantit yr lip I wud peeeeeeeeeel it off my azz!
Poems.
are just sentences
that got all weird
cause no one cared about them
them.
That guy in highschool who
traded his green sweatpants
that he wore
everyday
for a fedora
that he wore
everyday.
Nobody on Earth
Can go to Hell fast enough
To please this sad fool
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Anyone that writes poems in First Person or directly about themselves should have their poem writing license taken away.
"A celibate clergy is an especially good idea, because it tends to suppress any hereditary propensity toward fanaticism." -Carl Sagan
"Am I cruel? Probably. Is she an idiot? Yes." -jane s.