"I love women's underwear and could not control my desire"

So who wants to be the forensic scientist that carbon dates the knickers to discover that they're 30+ years old?

my god, ABC news so rules for evaah.

[QUOTE=The Average Cultist]So who wants to be the forensic scientist that carbon dates the knickers to discover that they're 30+ years old?[/QUOTE]
eew...

i wonder if he had them all catalogued in some way .. like where he stole them from and when ..

and where the hell would you keep 4,000 pairs of underwear!?
thats gotta take up some serious space

Our abc news would be as cool as yours if it wasn't owned by the demon mouse.

crazy japanese people...

[URL=http://www-scf.usc.edu/~hatton/itp104/project07/images/funny1.gif]John Howard?[/URL]

and Penfold, from DangerMouse
[IMG]http://www.globenet.free-online.co.uk/images/howard.jpg[/IMG]

Disney owns the American Broadcasting Corporation.

i heard Japanese men are huge pedophiles.

no, that's american business men, sleeping with little asian boys.

Kit!: just to prove my point that you really don't know funny, you should've named this thread "Japanese Knicker Nicker Nicked".

[QUOTE=alex cassun]Kit!: just to prove my point that you really don't know funny, you should've named this thread "Japanese Knicker Nicker Nicked".[/QUOTE]
dude, puns are lame.

this is like the japanese equivalent of the crazy old coots we have in the US , who amass huge stacks of newspapers and are often eventially killed by being crushed under their weight...only with women's panties.

pedophilia is the new black

[QUOTE=The Average Cultist]So who wants to be the forensic scientist that carbon dates the knickers to discover that they're 30+ years old?[/QUOTE]

lordy lordy so funny ha ha you friggin geek

[QUOTE=disx]pedophilia is the new black[/QUOTE]

black is the new masturbation

[QUOTE=lofivinyl]this is like the japanese equivalent of the crazy old coots we have in the US , who amass huge stacks of newspapers and are often eventially killed by being crushed under their weight...only with women's panties.[/QUOTE]

yeah... it's just like those crazy old dudes with newspapers... EXCEPT IT'S FRIGGIN PANTIES...

Might as well say it's just like those old ladies in the nursing homes who collect food in their pockets instead of eating it... or it's just like a fucking dung beetle collecting poo...

[QUOTE=Kit!]dude, puns are lame.[/QUOTE]

yeah, puns are lame like llamas or something... but NOT like knees, gotta make that clear, cause them knees is NEVER lame...

[QUOTE=Kit!]eew...

i wonder if he had them all catalogued in some way .. like where he stole them from and when ..

and where the hell would you keep 4,000 pairs of underwear!?
thats gotta take up some serious space[/QUOTE]

I dunno. I probably got close to a hundred and they only take up my sock drawer, which is strangely without socks, by the way... I've even had chicks I've never met sendme their panties in the mail, 'cause they wanted Brock to have 'em... all perfumed and such...

see, if he just bought them, there would be no problem here. it's because he STOLE them. It's immensely dishonorable to steal women's underwear in Japan. It's almost as bad as getting kidnapped while doing humanitarian work in Iraq.

[QUOTE=snuffy]see, if he just bought them, there would be no problem here. it's because he STOLE them. It's immensely dishonorable to steal women's underwear in Japan. It's almost as bad as getting kidnapped while doing humanitarian work in Iraq.[/QUOTE]

Are you implying that I BUY women's underpants? No way, dude. I ain't never paid for a pair in my life... unless you count the whole how all women are whores in one way or another thing... like how we all pay for sex i.e. dating, marriage, gifts, dinner, movie, drinks, etc...

naw, i'm still on the japanese guy. though you may WEAR women's underpants.

[QUOTE=snuffy]naw, i'm still on the japanese guy. though you may WEAR women's underpants.[/QUOTE]

I ain't denyin' and I ain't confirmin'... I mean, yeah, so what if a dude likes soft material on his package?

exactly. so why do you think this guy needed 4000 pairs? i mean, i bet after 1000 or so it gets a little repetitive.

[QUOTE=snuffy]exactly. so why do you think this guy needed 4000 pairs? i mean, i bet after 1000 or so it gets a little repetitive.[/QUOTE]

Maybe... still 4,000 is pretty measly if you consider that there is like 500 kazillion pussies on the planet and at least like 50 pairs of panties for each pussy and like the simple laws of mathematics means the variations of kinds of panties gotta be somewhere in the yakazillions, like 125 yakazillion or so, give or take a watabakillion or two. You got the cotton and the silk and the lace and the crotchless and the zillions of colors and fucking it makes my head hurt from all the pussy math...

[QUOTE=Brock Landers]Maybe... still 4,000 is pretty measly if you consider that there is like 500 kazillion pussies on the planet and at least like 50 pairs of panties for each pussy and like the simple laws of mathematics means the variations of kinds of panties gotta be somewhere in the yakazillions, like 125 yakazillion or so, give or take a watabakillion or two. You got the cotton and the silk and the lace and the crotchless and the zillions of colors and fucking it makes my head hurt from all the pussy math...[/QUOTE]

styles as well. you have the granny, the regular, the thong, the brazillian, the high cut, the boy short...my head is going to explode.

mind if I use that "pussy math" quote?

[QUOTE=snuffy]styles as well. you have the granny, the regular, the thong, the brazillian, the high cut, the boy short...my head is going to explode.

mind if I use that "pussy math" quote?[/QUOTE]

what the fuck do I care? It's not like my shit is copyrighted or original in any way or connected to me at the hip in any way. Pussy math belongs to the pussy masses. Who am I to keep pussy math under lock and key? I will not hide pussy math away in my burning bush. This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine... pussy math too...

Some college kid in Wisconsin got nabbed awhile back for being a thong thief. The cops found 854 thongs hidden all over his place...in shoe boxes, a briefcase, and even a Pokemon lunch pail.

see, 854 sounds reasonable. tangible.

[QUOTE=Brock Landers]I dunno. I probably got close to a hundred and they only take up my sock drawer, which is strangely without socks, by the way... I've even had chicks I've never met sendme their panties in the mail, 'cause they wanted Brock to have 'em... all perfumed and such...[/QUOTE]

let me get this straight....internet-women send you their used panties?

[QUOTE=lofivinyl]let me get this straight....internet-women send you their used panties?[/QUOTE]

A lot of them are ones I stole from chicks I was with. But yes, some of them are from internet women. I get nude polaroids too. Some better than others. I even have this chick in Scotland that I used to talk to at some Chatropolis place named Sapphire Blue at least that's her stage name or computer whore name or something, but she sends me e-mail pictures of my name written on her body cause she's some kind of cam-whore just for me except i don't pay her and she gives me stuff but god is she cute and like 4'11' and fucking amazing and I think I want to move to Scotland. I'd have to kick grae out of the country, but other than that, yeah, I could deal with life in Edinburgh with a "kept" woman. That's what she calls it. She has sex with this older guy who's married like once a week and he never stays at her pad, like a mistress and he pays for her car and house and stuff and she calls me from scotland and her fuckin cute little scottish accent drives me fucking bonkers and these little cupcake titties I just want nibble on forever and... I'm losing my point I think, eventhough my point is stiff and throbbing...

... and so yeah, there's this other girl named Gail in Chicago who fed-exed me her panties and polaroids and a audiocassette of her talking dirty to me and I didn't even ask for it. She works in a large instructional/technical publishing house and plays a bass guitar. She's gotta these great d-cup titties she sent me a pic of with literally the panty string of the panties she sent me hanging off one of her jutting norks. She actually sent me money before and books and things I mention that I like. With the panties she also sent me a bottle of cologne she thought I might like and she wants to pay for airfare to fly me to Chicago this summer, but I don't know. There are more just like this too... I get calls from them all the time. There's a chick in Maine. An older broad in Florida. A girl in Oregon. All over the freakin' place. I enjoy it as a diversion from the chicks I see in real life... I sorta feel like a phone sex dude too since a lot of the time they want me to talk dirty to them on the phone and we get off together, though usually I just pretend to get off because it's hard to really get into the phone sex when you gotta think of sexy fantasies for all the chicks, I mean there's only so many fucking sex fantasies to come up with... and a lot of it is rehash from other chicks I talk dirty to. In fact, it's a lot of fucking work at times... and they want to fly to see me and shit. The least I deserve is there damn panties...

it sounds exhausting...

[QUOTE=lofivinyl]it sounds exhausting...[/QUOTE]

I think you are kidding, but I like to think you're not just because seriously, yeah... it is exhausting. I get calls inthe middle of the night. I actually got a separate cell phone just for that purpose. Still, I like chicks and therefore will always put out the effort necessary to make them hot...

[QUOTE=Brock Landers]I think you are kidding, but I like to think you're not just because seriously, yeah... it is exhausting. I get calls inthe middle of the night. I actually got a separate cell phone just for that purpose. Still, I like chicks and therefore will always put out the effort necessary to make them hot...[/QUOTE]

i kind of wasn't kidding at all. you are like the patron saint of horny/slutty women or something.... and it sounds like a lot of work for probably sometimes minimal reward.

brock landers....the mother theresa of fuck.

the ghandi of the gooch

[QUOTE=lofivinyl]i kind of wasn't kidding at all. you are like the patron saint of horny/slutty women or something.... and it sounds like a lot of work for probably sometimes minimal reward.

brock landers....the mother theresa of fuck.[/QUOTE]

I'm no saint. I'm a sinner. I pervert the minds of innocent women and brainwash them to send me their personal items. A lot of days I think of myself as a much more muscular version of James Spader in Sex, Lies, & Videotape. He too manipulates women in a similar manner, although he suffers from impotence, but not really since it's all in his head once he meets the right chick. Sometimes I wish I was impotent too. Usually it's for like a brief moment of time and then I think of how being impotent would suck and I change my mind back. The whole thought process takes like less time then it takes to blink my eye...

[QUOTE=Brock Landers]I'm no saint. I'm a sinner. I pervert the minds of innocent women and brainwash them to send me their personal items. A lot of days I think of myself as a much more muscular version of James Spader in Sex, Lies, & Videotape. He too manipulates women in a similar manner, although he suffers from impotence, but not really since it's all in his head once he meets the right chick. Sometimes I wish I was impotent too. Usually it's for like a brief moment of time and then I think of how being impotent would suck and I change my mind back. The whole thought process takes like less time then it takes to blink my eye...[/QUOTE]

it would be nice to have an "off" and "on" switch. i have often thought this myself.

[QUOTE=lofivinyl]it would be nice to have an "off" and "on" switch. i have often thought this myself.[/QUOTE]

... sort of. I mean if I had an off and on switch to control the flow of my hotness or whatnot, it'd be like, I'd never put it in the off mode 'cause what if it gets stuck and you can't flip it back on or like it breaks off or something, ya know? I mean, like, besides... when I'm on fire, I'm on fire and you can't put out them flames with no switch because I'm burning so hot it, like singes and stuff. Also there's the whole thing about how, like, when I'm all hot and burning up and shit how my hotness is like an uncontrollable force, like a molten volcano of lava that is like on the verge of exploding all over the fucking place and killing those dudes in Pompeii and making 'em ash and shit, like in that Pierce Brosnan movie about the volcano that is named after that Dante dude from Se7en that Brad Pitt has to research with Morgan Freeman in order to catch John Doe before he cuts off that Shakespeare in Love chick's head and puts it in a box and mails it to Brad Pitt in the desert so he gets all wrathful and breaks the deadly sin rules and shoots Kevin Spacey and... and... well, it's just, you know, not something that I want, right, like, the switch, I mean... I like my hotness, and Ilike how I feel when I'm hot and it's like being bipolar or something, like being manic and high, like naturally hot or something, like that pure cane sugar except with hot cane sugar in my penis that like flows out of me like hot pure cane lava and tastes sweet and gloppy and kinda salty but I swear, babe... it's good for you and has lots of protein and you need to eat up all the medicine I make for you, 'cause it's my life essence, my life force even, and you know you want it, you know you can't live without it, you know I make your loins all raw and tender like a raw tenderloin too and it needs me to come and eat it cause it tastes like honey nectar from your crotch bunny...

don't you ever wish you could just be completely devoid of sexual feeling? sex makes you do stupid shit. it makes you act like a panty-collecting freak.

i'd love to be able to eliminate the urge at will.

[QUOTE=lofivinyl]don't you ever wish you could just be completely devoid of sexual feeling? sex makes you do stupid shit. it makes you act like a panty-collecting freak.

i'd love to be able to eliminate the urge at will.[/QUOTE]

Okay, let's look at my hotness from that perspective then. The stupid perspective. I know I act dumb when I'm all hot and worked-up and horny and shit, but I also know that I like being all hot and worked-up and horny and shit regardless of how dumb it makes me, you know, and probably I don't much give a shit if being all hot and worked-up and horny and shit makes me dumb because I'm all hot and worked-up and horny and shit and dumb so I don't even know... at the time of my hot, horny, shitty, dumbness... that I'm being all hot, horny, shitty, and dumb because it feels too good being all hot, horny and shitty and dumb to know the fucking difference. I mean, yeah... if I was a masturbating orangutan in some zoo, I'd be like... "Hey, man! I'm a fucking orangutan in some zoo! Why the fuck am I sitting here masturbating? I don't want to sit here masturbating all my natural life! Damnit! I'm above that shit! I got important Orangutan stuff to do, like being in movies about truckers and bandit race car drivers who are played by Clint Eastwood and/or Burt Reynolds post-Playgirl centerfold spread! Damnit!"... and what it really boils down to is that basically why the fuck should I deny my sexuality just because society says sexuality is a bad thing? Fuck that noise, man! I don't need those vibes! I got important shit to masturbate to, like pungently-pervasive pontificatingly-persuasive pragmasticatedly-pilfered pillowy-pit-poppin' powdery-pink pantieloons!

[QUOTE]I will not hide pussy math away in my burning bush.[/QUOTE]

now that, from a redhead's point of view, is fucking funny

now about the knicker nicker

he got caught for one act and confessed to everything? pussy
he stole these from a wash line- that means they were clean- but the other 3000 something- were they clean?
thats the first thing i wanted to know. did he steal clean panties?

i don't really know what to say. all that alliteration made my brain implode.