I Learned Something Today

My brother loves Bruce Lee so when I saw a book titled WHO WOULD WIN A FIGHT BETWEEN MUHAMMAD ALI AND BRUCE LEE... I bought it. Then I started reading through it and to my horror, it said Ali would beat Lee and badly. So I'm keeping it. My brother will just burn it in an fanboy rage.

Anyway, I learned that everything I thought I knew was a lie.

And without the dimples, golf balls would only go like half as far.

And the Homebush pool at the Sydney Aquatic Centre uses ozone and ultra violet light so as to be able to use only 2/3 the regular amount of chlorine thus reducing eyeball irritation.

I used to be a Bruce Lee fanboy. I still kinda am, but he's not my golden calf anymore. Yeah, Muhammad Ali would definitely have the better chance at winning, but then again, Bruce Lee was about eye gouges, groin kicks, basically doing anything it took and arguably had better endurance, so I'll say he'd win maybe 2-3 times out of 10. But against the equally dirty, ear-nibblin' Tyson, he'd have no chance.

Today I learned that my friendship with my best friend is strikingly similar to Gosling's friendship with Steve Carell in Crazy, Stupid, Love. I'm happy to say I'm the Gosling side of it. I remember playfully criticizing my friend for wearing sneakers when he went out, buying ill-fitting Levis, having a velcro wallet, and using a straw to drink his drinks at the bar. Unfortunately, I don't think I was as successful at making him sexier, cuz unlike Gosling and Carell's characters, our friendship wasn't based entirely around me achieving that goal.

I prefer Sammo Hung to Bruce Lee, here's an amusing impersonation scene :

Enter the Fat Dragon... hahahaha....

I hadn't really thought about it... Bruce Lee never claimed to be the greatest fighter ever... and I don't think it was his goal... it was to look like the greatest fighter ever... kicking is way more fun to watch than wrestling (which apparently is a style of fighting that would probably beat them both).

I also didn't know how at some point, Muhammad wanted to fight "any" oriental fighter. So he found this Japanese wrestler... but they didn't let him grapple or do whatever it is that wrestlers do. So his only move was to throw himself on the floor and kick in Ali's general direction.

That right there is comedy.

What's your big move?

Well, actually, Bruce Lee studied wrestling and jiu-jitsu extensively. There's a good portion of both in his Tao, but he was a bit too small to hope to use it effectively on Ali, even though he's got a freakish strength/weight ratio.

I think at some point someone did quote him saying that he "could beat anyone in the world," but I think that was during a light, fun conversation. Not sure he actually believed that.

As if you could handle it.

If I ever introduce you to my brother, you'll be adopting babies together within a year.

Whatever. No way it can match some of the moves I've seen.

Like 6th grade. Greg P. While we were alone after a dance he showed me how he could palm a basketball. He was like 5' at the time and I'd never seen anyone do that before.

I mean we didn't do anything. But that was some impressive shit for elementary school.

Let me lay down some Bruce Lee philosophy.

The best move is having no big move at all. You must adapt, change shape, like water. Not every woman would let you pull off her panties over the same big move. Be water, my friend.

For instance, I'd probably say some shit like that to get your brother and I on baby-adopting terms.

But in any case, the move I'd use on you... yeah, you wouldn't be able to handle it.

I don't know if I'm supposed to be scared, turned on, confused, indignant, or shopping for small yellow track suits.

Is this... Is this the custom non-move move? You're right, I can't handle this uncertainty.

I learned today that it's called Kindle Fire because fire comes from kindling. Wait, does this mean Amazon intends to "burn" our books?

Today I learned that I can resist my urges and not call Alex even though I was home alone all day. I call that growing morals.

Today I learned that I have almost no hair products.

Tom and Ruth have a very similar profile picture on Facebook. They updated their status right after each other, and I mixed them up for a bit there. I was wondering why Tom would write an update about yoga class...