How about this:

How about an enzyme supplement you could take that would make it so that you pooped cheese when you drank milk? I think monied people would really go for such a bizarre delicacy to go with their ultra rare vintages of wine. It'd work for everyone really. Us poor people could drink milk and poop cheese rather than selling our blood, and rich people would have one more exotic thing to outdo each other with.

"... Oh, you drink the world's most expensive coffee? Well, I eat the world's most expensive and rarist poop cheese. The guy doesn't eat anything but organic milk for two weeks then finishes it all off by gorging on blueberries the night before delivery. And, he was a U.S. president. Beat that, bitch."

"Touche."

Tasty.

How about this:

You get the drugs, I'll get the ambulance later.

We should install Amber Lamps as the governor of California.

We should install Spike as governor of California.

ohmygross

I mean, you can sell your twat cheese, too. Dat's equal rights fer ya.

you are helping me jumpstart my diet. I'm cutting out all dairy products as of now.

Does smegma count as a dairy product? I must ask my local nutritionist.

I know, right?

I love you.

how about a Periodic Table of the Elements, only it's got Stock Exchange symbols on it!

This reminds me of Weasel Coffee. I don't know if you knew that it's the most expensive coffee in the world, but it certainly made your point a lot funnier

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kopi_Luwak

Yes, I'll have a pound of your best weasel poop blend, thanks

That's what I'm talking about, sweetcheeks.

A friend of mine had a pack of that once, it just sat in his kitchen for years because no one wanted to drink it once they learned where it came from

I don't care how good it tastes, if it comes out a weasel's ass, I am not eating it.

That is my feeling also.

A cellphone with a built in radar detector. Why not?

a radar detector with a built in cell phone!

Yeah, sounds like an iphone app that belongs next to the police light app!

Is there a fap app?

I was thinking about sending this idea to whatshisface from Metallica. Come up with an entire album's worth of music, but then never, ever record it. The only way to ever hear or experience it is to go to a live show. Have an entire tour built around it. You could even sell little empty CD cases at the merch table with album artwork and whatnot. I guess there'd still be crappy pirated versions of people trying to record a concert on their iphone, but I still think it's a brilliant idea.
Like i said, I was going to send this to him, but then I remembered that I don't particularly like the guy.

I decided today, if I ever suddenly came into billions of dollars like those Google or Facebook guys or that Mark Cuban dude, I would use it to set up a movie studio and run it somewhat similar to the old Hollywood movie studio system. Where I'd go out and just hire actors, directors, writers, sound, music cameramen, the whole she-bang. And just throw them all into the mix and see what could be produced.

I figure start out with a 3 year contract. Figuring for the first year to set up and get things rolling, the second year to start filming things and the third year to release everything and see if it turns out to have any sort of success. If it is, then go for another 3 years.

I wouldn't want it in Hollywood though, maybe Austin, someplace more in the midwest.

Now I can't wait to get that billion dollars! It'll be fun!

How about this: It's a two book deal thing. We get that Richard Dawkins and who ever the chief intelligent design guy is, and they each write a fictional story. Dawkins is about some science guy that discovers absolute evidence that there is a God (what the evidence is is irrelevant) and we follow along with what he would do with that knowledge. The intelligent design guy does the opposite. Finds out incontrovertibly that there is no God and what he would do with that information.
Then, whoevers books sells more and makes a better movie, they get to decide which is Truth. What could be more scientific than that?

I love it!

Where is the petition? I'll sign now.

A zombie MMORPG, like World of Warcraft or any of those others, where it's set in modern times and you got to go around looking for food and shelter and fight off zombies and decide whether to kill your fellow survivors or band together.
Even better, just sell a new Sims game or something like that and then all of a sudden, like a week or so after it goes on sale, just have a zombie outbreak occur in it with no warning whatsoever!

A cross-country race game, a la Cannonball Run, run it real-time actual miles. Where you have to avoid cops and stop to refuel and eat and poop. You can't tell me with all the GPS stuff they have nowadays that it couldn't be fit into a game like that!

I'm just going to start dropping all my ideas into here so they're all collected in one convenient place when I have to start filing lawsuits for people stealing them.

Yeah, Lars! the drummer one! He's probably cool as hell just ever since that Napster stuff I can't picture the guy as anything but a pansy crybaby.

That and the documentary they did with a relationship counselor. I try to make myself believe that the broke up in the year 1990.

I was thinking about this this morning, writing a zombie outbreak story. It starts with some old dude dying in a hospital and biting a young nurse, but the whole thing is contained fairly quickly and only like 4 people die, it all takes place on one floor of the hospital and no one else in the place even knows anything went wrong. All this is basically how I see things happening if a real zombie outbreak were to occur, but it just doesn't seem "grabby" enough.

I was thinking about this today with my movie studio. Get a good script, maybe horror or some type of genre thing would work best. Then get 3 or so directors and have them all go out and make the same movie, all from the same script. And then release them all at the same time. It could be real fun to see 3 films tell the same story in such different ways.