House of Shrimp and Tit

I gotta quit drinking. I told this chick that I wanted to wrap my hands around her throat while she screams out that she's cumming. I'm a mess. I had this vivid dream that you and I really lived together but it was back in the town that I'm from. Neither one of us worked but we had a pretty good income. We were like Bateman from American Psyco in that we had these weirdo random bitches at our place all the time doing whatever we told them to do. But we didn't kill them.

(tiptoes away)

Dude, for serious. No drinking for a week. So much for spending less time at this place. It's about to become my haven.

Its really not a bad haven. I like it here

You mean here as in the Cult, or as in here in this thread. I like both. I'd give you a key but ya know, there's no door. So it would be pointless. I'm quite content with staying home on the Cult in lue of going out. I like most of you more than I like the people I meet out.

I meant both. But mostly the Cult as a whole. And thanks for offering a key, if there was a door, I appreciate it. I, too, am quite content to here on the Cult at home rather than going out. I feel the same way you do about the people here. I really do like most of them more than the people I come across when I go out.

I love it here!

Me too. Hey JT, I just downloaded a bunch of Gym Class Heroes shit cuz you mentioned em in that other thread. Pretty cool shit. I always just assumed that they were another cookie cutter emo band. I didn't even know they had a hip-hop element to them. Good call.

EDIT: Yeah, this Travis dude is really good.

Do you like the fact that I hang out here, or am I a pesky pebble in everyone's shoe?

I wonder the same thing about myself, Phil.

[QUOTE=Lady Chaos;1033979]I wonder the same thing about myself, Phil.[/QUOTE]
I like you.

Thank you, I like you too.

HEY, whatthefuxup?!?

Oi, I'm slightly trashed. I know it's against all Cult rules and codes of honor to be drunk and online, but FUCK, this is my hou - thread! 'Sides, I still only see one of everything. That's gotta be a good sign.

SO, who's down for some poker?!

... This couch, right here.

I reckon in 5 years Im due another piss-up. Morey Shrimpin, ye guys on?

[QUOTE=Jill's Tit;1034005]Oi, I'm slightly trashed.[/QUOTE]

Wheeeeeeee!
:dance:

[QUOTE=bigshrimpn;1033644]I gotta quit drinking. I told this chick that I wanted to wrap my hands around her throat while she screams out that she's cumming. I'm a mess. I had this vivid dream that you and I really lived together but it was back in the town that I'm from. Neither one of us worked but we had a pretty good income. We were like Bateman from American Psyco in that we had these weirdo random bitches at our place all the time doing whatever we told them to do. But we didn't kill them.[/QUOTE]
Have you heard of theraphy?

It's kind of creepy in here.
Like in a Marilyn Manson video sort of way.

I love drinking, but I get happy drunk. probably cus I'm gay.

I don't know any gay men that get happy drunk. They all get sad or naked.

[QUOTE=xec8;1033974]Do you like the fact that I hang out here, or am I a pesky pebble in everyone's shoe?[/QUOTE]This plac.... thread wouldn't be the same without you here dude. Plus when you show up, everyone else does. You're like the party starter. You bring all the chicks over. Ahley, Jane, Bess. You have to hang here.

[QUOTE=Barca Boy;1034036]I reckon in 5 years Im due another piss-up. Morey Shrimpin, ye guys on?[/QUOTE]Psst. Yeah. I'd come to Ireland for that.

[QUOTE=Member07;1034056]Have you heard of theraphy?[/QUOTE]
No. Who's he?
[QUOTE=Member07;1034069]I love drinking, but I get happy drunk. probably cus I'm gay.[/QUOTE]I like drinking too. I've just been getting extra, super-duper wasted these past few times. The adventures I have while drinking are nothing that a guy who works six days a week should be getting into. I used to have drugs to balance me out. I never realized how fucking drunk you get when you don't. How I caome home with multible phone numbers I'll never know. They must be equally as wasted.

*Yaaaawn* G'morning, fellas. Whew, not much of a hangover...

Thats good cuz hangovers are terrible!

[QUOTE=Barca Boy;1034036]I reckon in 5 years Im due another piss-up. Morey Shrimpin, ye guys on?[/QUOTE]

Can I come too? I wouldn't want to miss such an awesome party!

[QUOTE=Member07;1034069]I love drinking, but I get happy drunk. probably cus I'm gay.[/QUOTE]

You made me laugh so hard I almost choked on breakfast!

And just so everyone knows, I didn't go to class today. So I'm gonna hide out here instead. Not that I need to hide, but you know, its fun.

Dude I just got your 9 minute voice mail. I listened to the whole thing. Funny shit. I don't remember calling you though. Another reason I need to cut back. I looked on my call log and saw that I called you at 4:30 AM. Nice!! Drunk dialing PWNS!!1!

Dude, find a way to put my voicemail online. I'll do the same with yours. We should ask Jase...

(And, it was only like five minutes!)

Oh I have some voicemails I would [I]love[/I] to put online! If you find out how to do it, let me know.

Dude no way. If I don't even remember making that call, there's no telling how fucked up I sound. Erase that shit. It should never again be listened to by anyone.

Which translates to: [I]Dude! Put it up as soon as possible![/I]

Your translation skills need work to say the least. I would probably murder you. And not like a quick, "I feel bad for doing this" kind of murder. I'm talking about slow, humiliating, death. I think about how I would kill someone a little more often than the average person should. It usually gets REALLY creative. Because I like you, I'm gonna recommend that you don't play that message. A different one, cool. I'm trying to shake shit-face Mike off of me. The last thing I need is to hear his voice inside of my haven. No drinking in two days but I think my wingman just sold his car for $6,500. I feel a relapse coming on. WOOT WOOT!!!

I'm writing the next instalment of THE SURPASSABLE EVERYTHING. Will you guyz gimme feeback? kthx

[QUOTE=xec8;1034251]I'm writing the next instalment of THE SURPASSABLE EVERYTHING. Will you guyz gimme feeback? kthx[/QUOTE]

Got you dude. Wondering what was taking so long.

Well there's already something new there but it's been bumped off by that new thread.

[QUOTE=bigshrimpn;1034247]Your translation skills need work to say the least. I would probably murder you. And not like a quick, "I feel bad for doing this" kind of murder. I'm talking about slow, humiliating, death. I think about how I would kill someone a little more often than the average person should. It usually gets REALLY creative. Because I like you, I'm gonna recommend that you don't play that message. A different one, cool. I'm trying to shake shit-face Mike off of me. The last thing I need is to hear his voice inside of my haven. No drinking in two days but I think my wingman just sold his car for $6,500. I feel a relapse coming on. WOOT WOOT!!![/QUOTE]

You're talking to the kid who got sent to a psychologist for coming up with plans, lists and diagrams, all illustrating the intricate murder plots of the people he didn't like. At the age of nine.

CEREAL KILLUR FIGHT LAWLZ.

(Naw, but really, if I were to upload the voicemail, I'd let you listen to it before posting it anywhere. It's too fucking funny, but I'd get your approval first....)

[QUOTE=xec8;1034251]I'm writing the next instalment of THE SURPASSABLE EVERYTHING. Will you guyz gimme feeback? kthx[/QUOTE]

Bumpbumpdedump.

[QUOTE=xec8;1034251]I'm writing the next instalment of THE SURPASSABLE EVERYTHING. Will you guyz gimme feeback? kthx[/QUOTE]

I will!

[QUOTE=Jill's Tit;1034261]You're talking to the kid who got sent to a psychologist for coming up with plans, lists and diagrams, all illustrating the intricate murder plots of the people he didn't like. At the age of nine.
[/QUOTE]

I knew there was a reason I liked you so much!

[QUOTE=Lady Chaos;1034286]I will!

I knew there was a reason I liked you so much![/QUOTE]
You mean besides his self proclaimed "huge wiener"?

Yep

My dick is SO BIG, it needs an airplane warning light.

[QUOTE=Jill's Tit;1034311]My dick is SO BIG, it needs an airplane warning light.[/QUOTE]

:lame:

It crashes a lot?

:[ I'm running out, guys...

Time to look to the internet for better big dick jokes.

How about this one? Mi dick's so big that if I showed it to you, you would be all like, "Damn dude. You got a pretty big dick."

FOR TEH WIN!!!

My dick's so big, it should be called a Richard!
Wait, that's terrible. I quit.

My dick is so big, there's still snow on it in the summertime.

[QUOTE=Jill's Tit;1034342]My dick is so big, there's still snow on it in the summertime.[/QUOTE]
:pat:

My dick is so big, it can only be measured in theory.

Now that one was much better!

My dick is so big; it makes the Grand Canyon scream “NOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

My dick is so big that I don't need to compensate for it.

Hey Shrimp, my dick is so big, Florida had to measure it twice.

[QUOTE=xec8;1034350]My dick is so big that I don't need to compensate for it.[/QUOTE]

Now [I]that[/I] is big!!!