House of Shrimp and Tit

Sorry you didn't get plastered. I kinda did earlier but I'm feeling much more soberer now. Oh man, when I first got on the computer tonight, I passed out with my head on the keyboard. I hope I didn't post any jibberish anywhere.

[QUOTE=Lady Chaos;1027302]faleial;ei salelieieiw. 23li42j. fna d ;;; aelaij43 df243945 2 lfialeifa. [/QUOTE]

There was this, but it wasn't embarassing.

Oh good, that's not at all bad compared to what it could be. I could have put a sentence together and invited someone over to do something weird, like play Twister or Monopoly.

My dog is called Whisky, without the E.

So, did you get laid, Big?

[QUOTE=Jill's Tit;1027613]So, did you get laid, Big?[/QUOTE]

Nah. I got a phone call from my homeboy. He wanted me to come out and get "fucking plastered" instead. Hard to resist. You should've been there. We were twisted!! These dudes at the bar were trying to figure out the names of the five burroughs of NY. They had four. The dude I was with was from NJ and he had nothing to contribute. I was pretty sure the fifth was SI but I was wishing I had your number to confirm. Sorry dude. I was amped too. I was in rare creative form last nite. I should've stayed in. Cuz now I feel like this...

:puke:

I would say that I'll be around tonight. But I can't promise because I feel like this...

:puke:

But we'll get it done dude. At least this dude seems to think so :hump:

Hah, you're a peach and a half. If you want my number for drunken calls, I'll PM it to you.

In fact, I don't know why that didn't occur to me sooner. I got drunk last night, but it didn't get very exciting until my friend MK and I were the only two people left awake.

So here's the plan: Find me a job and a place in Florida, because I'm sick of NYC. Deal? Deal. No, shut up. No questions. GET ON WITH IT. :suspect:

If anything I'm coming to NY. This is just another "grass being greener on the other side" situation. I got a couple empty rooms in my apt but I'm moving out in October. Need a nicer place. You've always got a place to crash if you ever wanna make it to Florida. I gotta tell you though, you'll get sick of this place too. I am. Living somewhere like NY would be a dream come true for me. I assume people that don't live here feel the same way about Florida. Most people anyway. Not you Cassun. Once you get here and you see that it's just old people and rednecks and burnout surfers and heat, you'll long for the diversity of NY.

You're half right, it's really a love/hate situation. I mean, I can get sick of NYC, hop a train and turn up in an ENTIRELY different neighborhood and feel all better. I'm planning on getting my own place sometime in January or February, so if you come here any time past that, don't bother booking a hotel.

I wouldn't. Dude if I make it to NY I'm gonna crash on your couch whether you invite me to or not. Like BLAM!! Right on the couch. That's pretty far though. Plus I think it gets cold there and I've never seen snow so I'm not sure if I could survive. Plus I hate New Yorkers.

:wavey:

I love you too, sugar lips.

If you come during the winter, I'll make damn sure you get VERY well acquainted with snow.

:006:

Isn't this nice? Having our own thread? Pass me a beer.

We were talking about this, weren't we? Although, it was more of a joke at the time. Leave it to someone getting drunk and actually doing it.

What do you want? I got Heiny, Becks, and some of my sister's Corona Extra.

Call the hookers, they're on speed dail #3

You two are thick as thieves.

[IMG]http://ec1.images-amazon.com/images/I/5190AXH998L._AA280_.jpg[/IMG]

Only if I get to be Alec. That makes JT Rececca De Mornay, which makes us smile. Us who? Well, me and this dude of course!!

:afro:

Man... I knew you were gonna edit it with something stupid like that.

I knew because I was gonna do it, but then realized I don't really wanna be ANY of them...

*Rolls eyes*

We're out of beer. It's your turn to go on a beer run. Get me some Doritos while you're at it.

[IMG]http://brandautopsy.typepad.com/brandautopsy/images/2007/06/17/doritos_x13d.jpg[/IMG]

You wanted this kind right? Ever had em? Know what the secret flavor is?

Fuck!!! I forgot the beer.

:pat:

WHAT!

[SIZE=3]Waste[/SIZE] *throws Doritos* [SIZE=4]of [/SIZE]*throws more Doritos* [SIZE=5]LIFE!!![/SIZE]

You missed me. However, you did nail some hot chick.

[IMG]http://images.usatoday.com/news/health/spotlight/_photos/landry.jpg[/IMG]

*touches boob*

I think she's dead dude.

Ah, shit... uh, yeah, lemme take care of this.

Here.

I'll drag her to the bathroom and wrap her up in the shower curtains. Take her clothes, she won't need them.

*Locks the bathroom door*

This may take a while, she's... uh... slippery...

Dude I've got a better idea.

*pulls out box cutters*

Let's cut her up and flush her down the toilet.

*puts ear to bathroom door*

What's that noise?

*From the bathroom*

Dude, that would take entirely too long... But give me the box cutter, her thighs look like dinner.

*Unlocks the door, walks out naked except for some cleaning gloves, and an erection*

Ya wanna finish her off?

I see your weiner.

Oh NOES! You caught me!

[URL=http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b54/JenniferLostTheWar/replace022sss-1.jpg][IMG]http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b54/JenniferLostTheWar/replace022sss.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

Dude you look like Amy Winehouse in that pic.

Left to your own devices, you two are quite disturbing.

[QUOTE=bigshrimpn;1028414]Dude you look like Amy Winehouse in that pic.[/QUOTE]

Dude, I AM Amy Winehouse. Duh.

[QUOTE=Synnove;1028419]Left to your own devices, you two are quite disturbing.[/QUOTE]

:laugh2: It's true.

I feel left out.

How did these peeps get in here. JT, how many times do I have to tell you to close the door? I feel like the dude in Shaun of the Dead.

Phil, you're always welcome here. After all, you pay our rent!!

I don't know man, I kind of get the feeling Jill's Tit is becoming more than a friend to you. Which, I mean, I'm not jealous or anything, but, you know. I'm lonely.

[QUOTE=bigshrimpn;1028446]How did these peeps get in here. JT, how many times do I have to tell you to close the door? I feel like the dude in Shaun of the Dead.

Phil, you're always welcome here. After all, you pay our rent!![/QUOTE]

Dude, you BROKE the door. How many times to I have to tell you not to bring in five hundred pound hookers than don't know how to operate doorknobs?

AND WHERE IS THE BEER?!

[QUOTE=xec8;1028450]I don't know man, I kind of get the feeling Jill's Tit is becoming more than a friend to you. Which, I mean, I'm not jealous or anything, but, you know. I'm lonely.[/QUOTE]

I'd offer you a beer, but SOMEONE didn't get any.

I know what'll make you feel better: :3some:

[QUOTE=xec8;1028450]I don't know man, I kind of get the feeling Jill's Tit is becoming more than a friend to you. Which, I mean, I'm not jealous or anything, but, you know. I'm lonely.[/QUOTE]
JT hasn't stood me up. You cut me deep Phil. Deep.

[QUOTE=Jill's Tit;1028451]

I know what'll make you feel better: :3some:[/QUOTE]

Hehe.

Oh sure, drag the skeletons right back out of that closet, you cheating motherfucker.

[QUOTE=xec8;1028458]Oh sure, drag the skeletons right back out of that closet, you cheating motherfucker.[/QUOTE]Deep.

Weep-weep, you little creep.

"Bah-ah" said the sheep as the horn went beep-beep.

This is getting out of control. I'm calling the domestic abuse office.

Dudes, we all need to chill. JT, try the hookers again. It's # 3 on the speed dial. Phil, call your chicks, it's every other number on the speed dial.

I'll go get that beer.

They're all busy... with ME. HA!

Alright... just remember to tell everyone to ignore the dead bitch in the bathroom. Hold on, I'll go put her pants on.

No way dude. I'm wearing them.

FINE, fine. So are we eating her thighs for dinner or what?

I'm not much of a cook, nor much of a cannibal.

I am kinda hungry though, so.. you know... I'm not gonna like... protest or anything.

Shut up and eat.

Save Phil a plate. I'm sure he's working up an appetite. Just don't tell him what it is. I'm sure he'll be sick of eating thigh when he gets back.

Don't talk with your mouth full. Didn't your momma ever teach you manners about eating dead hookers?

So, whens the wedding?

I don't know, your mom hasn't called me in like two days, she said she needs to think about it...

[QUOTE=Masochism;1028496]So, whens the wedding?[/QUOTE]
Maso, was the door open when you stopped by? Like, did you have to turn the handle or was it sitting ajar?

How do they keep getting in here?