Health and Fitness Cult!

Yay Hattie!

I was asked to play in a volleyball league but not having a car or money kinda put a damper on that. My short term goal is to start polishing up my look, feel more confident, and get myself a job.

Working out has really helped me feel a lot better about myself and I'm looking forward to making others see what I'm capable of. I realize now that the way I've been living hasn't been good for my health in more than one aspect of my life. Living healthy isn't just about what you eat and how well you exercise but also a state of mind. My state of mind has clearly been fucked up for the past several years. It hasn't been easy getting to this point but I'm getting closer to where I need to be. I've been afraid to take this step but I think it's time.

Here's a workout program that I wrote for ManArchy Magazine. Go check it out and like it and stuff!

http://manarchymag.com/core/2012/09/fighter-fit/author-petegoutis

looks hardcore. i can't commit to five days a week at the gym, it takes up too much of my time unfortunately.

this is especially during mondays and tuesdays when the gym gets crazy packed with people and it takes a really long time to wait for them to clear out so i can do my sets in peace. at most i do three times a week. i like working out on saturday nights since i don't have a social life and everybody else has one. it's kind of funny how the crowd tapers off during the week towards the weekend.

i don't see pull ups in your routine. no good?

Well, you can move the days around. You don't have to do Monday through Friday. And two of my days are jump rope days. You can do those at home.

I think pull-ups and pull-downs are great. I just don't think that they were a good fit for the program I was trying to write.

It's kind of like - I think that preacher curls are awesome for filling in that gap between the bicep and elbow, yet they wouldn't be right in this program. I also don't have chest flyes and delt raises on there either.

it looks good. you do have the bent over dumbbell rows for the back. i don't do those personally if the gym is packed since, you know, i'm self conscious about the position.

personally i prefer doing standing tricep extensions or even dips more than lying down. i get woozy afterwards but yeah, thanks for putting this up.

I have Deadlifts for back mass building too.

I just hope somebody tries it!

Pela (the editor) wanted me to write a program that was really different that nobody has seen before. I tried to do my best. I had to test it and tweek it a bit. It kicked my ass for a few weeks!

Pete, you're an animal.

In one of my classes, the professor offered to give us extra credit for running any 5K for charity this semester. Who's done one? How'd you prepare? How'd you do?

I've always wanted to do one, but I suck at running.

Me.

I, like, ran and stuff.

A more serious answer, run 'til you get tired for 30 minutes every day (leave some days to rest, I guess, depending on the intensity of your running). Run, walk when you're tired, keep running when you can, and so on. When you can run for 30 minutes without stopping, you're pretty much ready. But you know, not pussy running. A good pace. What I kept in mind back in the day was that people strive towards a four minute mile. So I kept that pace in mind. But keep in your mind that people strive to run the 5k in 15 minutes. So keep that pace while running.

I think I did it in 22 minutes.

Picked up taijiquan a few weeks ago after leaving my previous aikido dojo, where I found myself more frustrated than anything. So far so good.

This is going to kill me.

I know what you mean. And I know what you don't mean.

But this is going to kill me.

Would you die from embarrassment if you got last place? Or didn't finish?

Let's not even think about it.

I'm just sayin' you gotta choose a way to die... Or just stay home... but that's not cool.

I'll do it for the children.

It's cheaper to just write a check yourself, I think. Also, less pointless. Or just tell your sponsors to stop being sociopathic dicks about it.

"Excuse me, sir? Would you like to donate money to some sick/poor children? They could really use it."

"How far can you run?"

"What?"

"I'll give 1 dollar to this charity for every mile you can run for my amusement. If you don't run, the children get nothing. Muaaahahaha!"

"Sadistic bastard." *Runs, tires out*

"Awww, tired already? Well I guess you don't want poor little Sally to get that chemotherapy."

What an asshole. Just give what you can.

I still don't understand the concept. I assumed people want to help cancer victims but not as much as they want to be entertained. Watching the average person run 5,000 meters is entertaining.

It really just doubles the effort put into helping people.

Then again, there was that charity masturbatathon I saw on HBO. Sponsors pay per orgasm. Now that's just good charity. I'm not sure your professor is creepy enough to go for that, though.

Masturbate for the children!

BRB, googling!

Oh my god!

Holy shit!

2009 Denmark
Masturbation time—men: 7 hours and 45 minutes
Masturbation time—women: 5 hours and 4 minutes
Number of orgasms—men: 8—Danish record.
Number of orgasms—women: 226—World record (Deanna Webb)
Ejaculation distance—men: 2.5 metres
Ejaculation distance—women: 3.15 metres – World record
Target ejaculation—men: 6 centimetres from bull's eye
Target ejaculation—women: All over bull's eye[7]

Hahahahaha, all over bull's eye. Also, I have trouble believing a woman ejaculates further than all men.

Gross!

The 5k isn't that hard. I ran the 5k mud run the only reason my time wasn't all that great was because I ran with my mom and I lost my shoe in the mud for like 5 minutes.

How did I prepare?

I went out the night before, drank, jumped in a pool and didn't sleep. I ate something and drank a shit load of water while I stayed up until we had to leave.

I went to the gym yesterday and leg pressed 212 lbs. I was proud of myself. I had a decent workout.

Today I gave my friend who is 6'4" 220 lbs. a piggy back ride around the restaurant because he didn't believe I could carry him and it humored him that some so short would give someone soo tall a piggy back ride.

If only I were like Jaz. 5k is a struggle for me.

Brag brag brag brag brag.

I would too if I were you.

But brag brag brag brag brag.

What I'm trying to say is it wasn't as hard as I thought. If you pace yourself you can easily get through the 5k. I'm sure you and Imke run more than I do on a regular basis so it shouldn't be that hard. It's roughly 3 miles.

It's really important to find the right pace for the distance you're running. Yeah, 5k isn't easy but if you go at a decent speed, take your time here and there, you'll be able to complete the 5k.

I wasn't trying to brag just prove that it can be done under less than optimal circumstances.

Noted.

WHATEVER BRAGGY PANTS

Shut up! I could bench press you with my eyes closed and my hands tied behind my back.

You're short and nobody likes you.

I've been injured.

I went for an hour long jog (because I haven't done anything in a long time and pussy running for an extended period of time is the best I can do).

That all went well though. When I got home, I was late for class and in my rush to put clothes on, I kicked my bed frame and broke a toe nail.

Day One = Disaster

You jog naked? At least wear a bra so you won't have socks with water-balloons by the time you're 35. Some footwear might help, too.

No but I shower naked. Sry im weird lol!

Weirdo.

I know you are but what am I.

A girl inspired by balding, daisy dukes-wearing guys. They're usually in better shape than I am, so I understand. I wanna be at least as charming as that guy screaming about how much better he looks in less clothing. I usually do, but I don't scream about it, you know?

I'm suuuper drunk right now, btw.... obviously? ... yeah, obviously...

Drinking is bad for you.

Drop and give me 20.

I might be doing this. I'm kind of scared because I don't generally jog... especially long distances. So now I've started training.

http://thezombiedash.com/holly/race-info/

I feel like I've got a migraine coming on so I'm skipping the gym today. I also went to Chick-Fil-A earlier and got a chargrilled wrap and FRIES, so I'm just a big fat loser today.

But - exercise releases endorphins! It makes headaches go away! I swear. I've done it.

That's so fucking cool.

I...I can't.

I like how even when you're being a big fat loser, you still choose a CHARGRILLED WRAP over a crispy sandwich.

Your Big Fat Loser is healthier than most people's I'm On A Diet.

I got a yoga mat.

Yoga is hard!