alexanderdeath25 said this and nhe is stupid because...
no i do not spend time here.
Then why why why, and I mean this with utmost sincerity, did you so aggressively ask us to read your book? You said it yourself: you don't know us, you don't care about us, and you don't even like us. Why would you think we are prime candidates to enjoy your particular brand of world-view?
Imagine this is real life. Imagine this is a coffee shop that we all like to attend, or a place we all gather on Friday nights. We all know each other, some of us for years. We take turns speaking, as one does in polite conversation, we have in-jokes, we have context.
NOW imagine that you barge in off the street and try to beg for change. Of course we're going to be hostile towards you. Wouldn't you be, if the situation was reversed?
i am a little short...
Yeah, and why's it my problem?
i an 6'3
i meant short on cash it is a fucking joke.\
you are short on cash to no casuse all that brain power you are buying
Yeah. Change. Short. I got it. I get jokes, probably because I went to college. Sry. 
I meant like, why is your being without change (which, in my metaphor, I was comparing to your solicitation of our reading your work) my problem? Why should I care? You've done nothing to gain my sympathy, or pique my interest, in any way.
Edit: Timberley owned this thread so anything I say is pointless now.
There is hope, but not for us.
you would act the same if some one was picking apart your work. i am seriouse about writng--that miss crappy or whatever took the time to bit pick like the monkey bitch she or he or it--its funny. i am having fun with you guys
After I wrote you that last email I went and drank on top of the Vs, then did some coke, then lost my bank card and went to the bank on Saturday all cracked out and demanded to get a new card so I could “get my fucking money out of the bank! I give you my fucking business don't I!? Well I want my fucking money that I earned. I could come in here with crack pipe fucking burns all over my face and I should still get my FUCKING money!!!!!”
Right off the bat, the first fucking line is too insanely long and convoluted. Whataclusterfuck.
As he flicks the channel between CNN and FOX news to watch the coverage on a dead pedophile that no one would have suspected ’til his death when someone read his diary and told the world.
As he flicks the channel…. What? What the fuck happens as he flicks the channel between coverage?
shampooed deer antlers and all
Do people shampoo deer antlers?
“Indeed,” my associate drawls in his horse yet deep voice.
Is his associate Mr. Ed?
I say this in telepathic
Wouldn’t it be, “I say this telepathically”
We wade through with slight erection
So… together, the two of you… I’m sorry, the two characters, have what amounts to one adult erection?
The only thing saving me from a full-blown hard-on is the thought of their green mucus filled snatches.
I don’t even KNOW.
The add agency is a grey shit-log in the toilet bowl city.
I assume you mean the Ad agency… as in Advertising Agency, not an Addition Agency for liek maths n sciencze an junk.
this façade of a life a caring individual.
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!?
a rage surging through me like fucking fire ripping through a rain forest. I went home and slept.
Dude. His rage is so intense that he goes home and sleeps? Hardcore.
He just bang kissed one of the brunette girls on the lips that looked so nice and plump. She did not push him away. She grabbed his jacket (Chuck’s) and pulled her self towards him thrusting out her pelvis.
1.What is a bang kiss?
2. I hate when people use a female character to serve this exact retarded purpose. She’s just a flat, “filler” character used to show how awesome/handsome/virile/mysterious a male character is. Not only does this girl just gowiththebangkissing flow, she also dry humps him with her crotch? Even the sluttiest girls I know wouldn’t let any of that shit fly with a stranger. Oh, and she was a high school girl??? Ok.
3. It’s “herself” not “her self.”
Randal's voice took on a bit of an awed sounding questioning tone, thingamajigger type of tone, you know?
????? No, I do not know.
“Well it is not the not eating. And it is not the not sleeping. I love both of that stuff…”
You do this weird, non-contraction thing throughout the text. Is English your second language? Which, this is the one thing I’m not gonna’ criticize you for. If you’re ESL, that’s fine and understandable. If you’re not, the whole thing reads like you don’t know how to use contractions and it makes the dialogue AND narrative sound stiff. Also, “I love both of that stuff” – while “stuff” implies many things or objects, the word is actually a singular collective noun. So it would be “I love both of those things” or “I love all of that stuff.”
again where is your writing so i can pick it apart
Please do. I have a blog that has an excerpt of something I've been working on. Go for it.
I have a degree in English, guy. (well, I will after May) Reading text and picking it apart is WHAT I DO.
I hope this thread ends up in your next book.
If we can't ban anyone, can we hand out awards? Something is happening here. I think this is the marker of a new era. It needs to be officially recognized. Maybe I'll cast a bronze statue of a prude crying over a stack of books.
wha?
you would act the same if some one was picking apart your work. i am seriouse about writng--that miss crappy or whatever took the time to bit pick like the monkey bitch she or he or it--its funny. i am having fun with you guys
Very astute. I now fling my monkey-poo at you.
After I wrote you that last email I went and drank on top of the Vs, then did some coke, then lost my bank card and went to the bank on Saturday all cracked out and demanded to get a new card so I could “get my fucking money out of the bank! I give you my fucking business don't I!? Well I want my fucking money that I earned. I could come in here with crack pipe fucking burns all over my face and I should still get my FUCKING money!!!!!”
Right off the bat, the first fucking line is too insanely long and convoluted. Whataclusterfuck.
As he flicks the channel between CNN and FOX news to watch the coverage on a dead pedophile that no one would have suspected ’til his death when someone read his diary and told the world.
As he flicks the channel…. What? What the fuck happens as he flicks the channel between coverage?
shampooed deer antlers and all
Do people shampoo deer antlers?
“Indeed,” my associate drawls in his horse yet deep voice.
Is his associate Mr. Ed?
I say this in telepathic
Wouldn’t it be, “I say this telepathically”
We wade through with slight erection
So… together, the two of you… I’m sorry, the two characters, have what amounts to one adult erection?
The only thing saving me from a full-blown hard-on is the thought of their green mucus filled snatches.
I don’t even KNOW.
The add agency is a grey shit-log in the toilet bowl city.
I assume you mean the Ad agency… as in Advertising Agency, not an Addition Agency for liek maths n sciencze an junk.
this façade of a life a caring individual.
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!?
a rage surging through me like fucking fire ripping through a rain forest. I went home and slept.
Dude. His rage is so intense that he goes home and sleeps? Hardcore.
He just bang kissed one of the brunette girls on the lips that looked so nice and plump. She did not push him away. She grabbed his jacket (Chuck’s) and pulled her self towards him thrusting out her pelvis.
1.What is a bang kiss?
2. I hate when people use a female character to serve this exact retarded purpose. She’s just a flat, “filler” character used to show how awesome/handsome/virile/mysterious a male character is. Not only does this girl just gowiththebangkissing flow, she also dry humps him with her crotch? Even the sluttiest girls I know wouldn’t let any of that shit fly with a stranger. Oh, and she was a high school girl??? Ok.
3. It’s “herself” not “her self.”
Randal's voice took on a bit of an awed sounding questioning tone, thingamajigger type of tone, you know?
????? No, I do not know.
“Well it is not the not eating. And it is not the not sleeping. I love both of that stuff…”
You do this weird, non-contraction thing throughout the text. Is English your second language? Which, this is the one thing I’m not gonna’ criticize you for. If you’re ESL, that’s fine and understandable. If you’re not, the whole thing reads like you don’t know how to use contractions and it makes the dialogue AND narrative sound stiff. Also, “I love both of that stuff” – while “stuff” implies many things or objects, the word is actually a singular collective noun. So it would be “I love both of those things” or “I love all of that stuff.”
again where is your writing so i can pick it apart
Please do. I have a blog that has an excerpt of something I've been working on. Go for it.
I have a degree in English, guy. (well, I will after May) Reading text and picking it apart is WHAT I DO.
must hurt you i am published
I bet it's tearing her heart out.
Alexander, I don't doubt you are serious about writing but you can't write off littlemiss' comments. As a writer, you need to be able to take criticism. When you have obvious errors, you have to expect people to react to them. If you get your book in front of any real critic, stuff like that isn't going to slide... An "add agency", really?
It's hard for a reader to take your work seriously when it still contains first-draft level errors.
We have a hell of a lot of people here who foster each other's growth as writers, they don't help each other by NOT pointing out errors. Regardless of if the errors are stylistic or technical in nature.
man you are probally the most boring writer in the world
Yeah Kirk, you need to be more edgy. Quit worrying about all that "proper spelling" bullshit.
It's hard for a reader to take your work seriously when it still contains first-draft level errors.
We have a hell of a lot of people here who foster each other's growth as writers, they don't help each other by NOT pointing out errors. Regardless of if the errors are stylistic or technical in nature.
that was not the last darft
OH HELL YEAH.
Where can I buy a copy Mike? Im excited for this!
What you have "published" is shit. You're right.
Let me get my planner. I need to schedule "weep into my pillow" in right after "shampoo deer antlers" tonight.
that was not the last darft
The Last Darft was my favorite C.S. Lewis short story.
look, add agency makes perfect sense
OK, let's look at the most basic level of how you market your novel... The description:
From hitch-hiking across the 49th parallel to plane trips to Montreal, road trips to Halifax, drinking in parkades and jamming in friends’ lofts, Unwanted Hopeless Romantic Morons captures the trials and disenchantment of a disconnected generation. Lost in the vastness of Canada, the “Dead-at-25s” isolated in suburbia are lured somnabulistically to cities where they find further alienation and disappointment. In a touching tale, stark realism, substance abuse and sexual haggling co-exist with the innocent yearnings of youth in this modern struggle of love and idealism seeking its expression in a wasteland of nihilistic greed, narcotic egoism and righteous violence.
Outside of the fact that the first sentence is terribly long-winded and the fact that you crammed that full of buzzwords... You have a fucking typo in there "somnabulistically" which should be spelled "somnambulistically". This is the paragraph I'm supposed to read on Amazon.com that makes me WANT to buy your book.
Amazon.com Sales Rank: #1,674,187 in Books
You wrote a book. Congrats! I won't attempt to take that from you. But you know what, so did thousands of people last month for Nanowrimo. The difference is, all those people know they don't have a finished draft.
Alex, man, I warned you. The more fodder you give them, the more they will continue harping on you.
It's a losing battle. You simply can't make people be kind, no matter what your initial intentions were.
| adj | facebook | an american atheist| warmed and bound |
i thought shampoo deer antlers was funny.
I love how he doesn't know if Miss Scrappy is a boy or a girl!
And he's seriose cat about writng!
It's hard for a reader to take your work seriously when it still contains first-draft level errors.
We have a hell of a lot of people here who foster each other's growth as writers, they don't help each other by NOT pointing out errors. Regardless of if the errors are stylistic or technical in nature.
that was not the last darft
OK, if that is not the final draft, good. But if you're trying to sell people, don't you think you would be better served if you at least proofed the bit you are going to ask people to read? At best it makes you look lazy. At worst it makes it seem like you have no respect for your readers.
And he's seriose cat about writng!
Well to be fair, Mr. Hash isn't a dude. So at least he doesn't assume anything.
It's a losing battle. You simply can't make people be kind, no matter what your initial intentions were.
they are jealouse it is funny
Of the array of emotions at play in this thread, "jealousy" is definitely not one of them.
There is hope, but not for us.
OH HELL YEAH.
Where can I buy a copy Mike? Im excited for this!
I'll talk to Santa and see what I can do for you.
OH HELL YEAH.
Where can I buy a copy Mike? Im excited for this!
I'll talk to Santa and see what I can do for you.
For real. Me, too. And I won't even fling my male or female monkey poo at you.
you are all such fucking smart asses. man. and you call me fucking clidish. you guys act like a buch of fucking school yard bullies... you all most likily write very boring academic shit that sucks, or you sit around and wait untill some one who has accomplished something comes on here so you can feel better about your own pathetic asses.
try reading over the TINY mistakes and stop being little fucking piss ants. shit i sent that into that magazine before i even started to edit the book and they thought it had somthing good in it. so fuck you guys man fuck really your the most rude buch of "know it alls" on the internet
OH HELL YEAH.
Where can I buy a copy Mike? Im excited for this!
I'll talk to Santa and see what I can do for you.
For real. Me, too. And I won't even fling my male or female monkey poo at you.
okay your a she
you guys are fucking idiots
Geez homespice take a chill tablet.
you are all such fucking smart asses. man. and you call me fucking clidish. you guys act like a buch of fucking school yard bullies... you all most likily write very boring academic shit that sucks, or you sit around and wait untill some one who has accomplished something comes on here so you can feel better about your own pathetic asses.
try reading over the TINY mistakes and stop being little fucking piss ants. shit i sent that into that magazine before i even started to edit the book and they thought it had somthing good in it. so fuck you guys man fuck really your the most rude buch of "know it alls" on the internet
No one called you clidish, we called you illiterate.
But to answer your earlier question, I've written exactly the same amount of good books as you have. But congrats on finishing...something. That's an accomplishment, now work on making it better, and stop being such a fucking jackass.
whats this troll bizz?
you are all such fucking smart asses. man. and you call me fucking clidish. you guys act like a buch of fucking school yard bullies... you all most likily write very boring academic shit that sucks, or you sit around and wait untill some one who has accomplished something comes on here so you can feel better about your own pathetic asses.
try reading over the TINY mistakes and stop being little fucking piss ants. shit i sent that into that magazine before i even started to edit the book and they thought it had somthing good in it. so fuck you guys man fuck really your the most rude buch of "know it alls" on the internet
No one called you clidish, we called you illiterate.
But to answer your earlier question, I've written exactly the same amount of good books as you have. But congrats on finishing...something. That's an accomplishment, now work on making it better, and stop being such a fucking jackass.
oka yeah that is funny i meant childish
Actually, very few people here write acadmically, if that's what you want to call it. I'm probably most guilty of being academic about things I read, and I'll admit that. It's what I've literally been trained to do and, honestly, it makes being creative just a little more difficult for me.
See? I can admit my shortcomings.
For me, though, the style of writing is sometimes equally as important as the story itself. Look at The Road by Cormac McCarthy. The structure is all wrong and there are no quotes in the book. It is also one of my absolute favorites because sometimes.... sometimes the text itself feels almost like a character, or embodies the setting - making the story that much more amazing.
Despite all that, the plot of your book doesn't catch me in any way. So stop being all butthurt.
you all most likily write very boring academic shit that sucks,
He means our posts. Our posts are academic and boring.
I want to bangkiss this thread.
bangbangbang
See? I can admit my shortcomings.
For me, though, the style of writing is sometimes equally as important as the story itself. Look at The Road by Cormac McCarthy. The structure is all wrong and there are no quotes in the book. It is also one of my absolute favorites because sometimes.... sometimes the text itself feels almost like a character, or embodies the setting - making the story that much more amazing.
Despite all that, the plot of your book doesn't catch me in any way. So stop being all butthurt.
i am not hurt. i am fucking around. i am sure those little things were changed in editing. i'd put the edited version up but the compter i am using right now has no word prossesr so i cant. look i am a bad speller dyslsic must likely. but what ever. about sales, most first books do not sell that fucking great. about structure, you guys are right the structure could have been much better however i do not think untill you have read the finnished version you have much of a right to say shit about a whole fucking peice of work--the whole peice says something and leaves you with an impression--and it is not writen in a normale way (spelling is fixed in the finnal version) and i would not want to write in the normale way.
no country for old men was awsome
OH HELL YEAH.
Where can I buy a copy Mike? Im excited for this!
I'll talk to Santa and see what I can do for you.
No, seriously, I want to support your writing Mike. At least lemme paypal you the cost of producing it! (sign that fucker for me though!)
AND WHILE WE'RE TALKING BOOKS...
Charactered Pieces is EXCEPTIONAL. I've no shame about piggybacking on this broken, dysfunctional thread to give it some publicity. Caleb crafted a great piece of literature here, folks. Trust me.
Well then what's a lonely, green-mucous-filled vagina to do?
Wait... there were those deer antlers. Bangkissing problem solved.
I get it now.
I take it back.
This book is hysterical.
are you offended about the way i write about women?
If we cringe while reading the first sentence, how the hell do you expect us to get through the entire book?
I get it now.
I take it back.
This book is hysterical.
are you offended about the way i write about women?
She's probably just offended by the way you write.
See? I can admit my shortcomings.
For me, though, the style of writing is sometimes equally as important as the story itself. Look at The Road by Cormac McCarthy. The structure is all wrong and there are no quotes in the book. It is also one of my absolute favorites because sometimes.... sometimes the text itself feels almost like a character, or embodies the setting - making the story that much more amazing.
Despite all that, the plot of your book doesn't catch me in any way. So stop being all butthurt.
i am not hurt. i am fucking around. i am sure those little things were changed in editing. i'd put the edited version up but the compter i am using right now has no word prossesr so i cant. look i am a bad speller dyslsic must likely. but what ever. about sales, most first books do not sell that fucking great. about structure, you guys are right the structure could have been much better however i do not think untill you have read the finnished version you have much of a right to say shit about a whole fucking peice of work--the whole peice says something and leaves you with an impression--and it is not writen in a normale way (spelling is fixed in the finnal version) and i would not want to write in the normale way.
no country for old men was awsome
First off - you don't know if those problems were fixed? How could you not know?
Second - if your published book is actually good, I will gladly recant my previous judgements and say nothing but good things about it.
Until then, well, the first version is all we have.
Just offended by the way you write.
Well then what's a lonely, green-mucous-filled vagina to do?
Wait... there were those deer antlers. Bangkissing problem solved.
what a dumby i am i should be more cleche and not write what i see and hear in life.
Damn I'm SO SLOW. Ugh.
This is what I get for not checking in first thing when I get online.
Right off the bat, the first fucking line is too insanely long and convoluted. Whataclusterfuck.
As he flicks the channel…. What? What the fuck happens as he flicks the channel between coverage?
Do people shampoo deer antlers?
Is his associate Mr. Ed?
Wouldn’t it be, “I say this telepathically”
So… together, the two of you… I’m sorry, the two characters, have what amounts to one adult erection?
I don’t even KNOW.
I assume you mean the Ad agency… as in Advertising Agency, not an Addition Agency for liek maths n sciencze an junk.
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!?
Dude. His rage is so intense that he goes home and sleeps? Hardcore.
1.What is a bang kiss?
2. I hate when people use a female character to serve this exact retarded purpose. She’s just a flat, “filler” character used to show how awesome/handsome/virile/mysterious a male character is. Not only does this girl just gowiththebangkissing flow, she also dry humps him with her crotch? Even the sluttiest girls I know wouldn’t let any of that shit fly with a stranger. Oh, and she was a high school girl??? Ok.
3. It’s “herself” not “her self.”
????? No, I do not know.
You do this weird, non-contraction thing throughout the text. Is English your second language? Which, this is the one thing I’m not gonna’ criticize you for. If you’re ESL, that’s fine and understandable. If you’re not, the whole thing reads like you don’t know how to use contractions and it makes the dialogue AND narrative sound stiff. Also, “I love both of that stuff” – while “stuff” implies many things or objects, the word is actually a singular collective noun. So it would be “I love both of those things” or “I love all of that stuff.”
again where is your writing so i can pick it apart
I think you have to pass 5th grade to qualify as an editor.