Facebook is not: a confessional, a shrink's office, a diary, etc.

______ can totally tell she's had a nosejob, but hopefully no one else can.

Then I would advise not writing it on facebook.

We should hang out sometime so that people could make assumptions about us both simultaneously! Two birds, 62792790753487 stones!

My friend has known a guy less than a week. Only met him last sunday in real life, and only just got talking to him via internet/phone about a week ago too. And has updated her relationship status to "In a Relationship" with this dude.

It was only a couple of weeks ago her status had said she'd fallen for some other guy. He hadn't fallen for her though.

I love her to bits, but ugh... GIVE IT TIME WOMAN!!!

T'wasn't but a few tv shows with cameras in cop cars for the public to think 'cop cars have cameras'...and other fables like 'cops behave well when not being filmed'.

Okay, I shouldn't generalize, but in most departments, there's no reason for the higher-ups not to be occasional thugs. It's permitted as a perk of the profession.

FILM COPS. DON'T TALK TO THEM (but to possibly inform them of your audio/video recording if required by state law). ONLY SAY/ASK: AM I FREE TO GO?/AM I BEING DETAINED?/I DO NOT CONSENT TO A SEARCH.

Insist they act responsibly.

^Those rules are for if you want the smoothest version of a safe police transaction with the least chances for things to go Rong. I do talk to cops about the nature of their profession but cease when I feel threatened and go silent/ask the safe questions.

This really annoying girl I went to uni with, who's practically an Indian princess, posts about three times a day. Recently she got dumped.

Yesterday's status was:

"Try sleeping with a broken heart"

I would've stamped on it if given the chance.

Ahaha, Harriet! =D That's very signature-worthy.

I have decided that hidden meaning FB status updates are the absolute worst.

You have no way to respond without looking like an idiot coming straight out of the blue attacking a poor, defenseless poster. Since they made the situation as complicated as possible, there is no way to explain how offensive the comment is in an easy to digest sentence or two so you just have to ignore it and move on, even though it irks you.

Fuck... Facebook statuses. I HATE reading updates about what people are feeling or "thinking" at the time. It's so damn pretentious. I can stand the ones where they say what they're doing, because it's usually invitational, but when you update your status to " " or " I hate you!" or some stupid vague, dramatic crap like that (drowned in comments like, "What happened?" and "Aw, what's wrong, gurl?" usually from a bunch of horny guys after the girl's affections), I'm sorry, but I'm not ever going to take an interest in your problems again, because you've proven to be an attention whore. Do whatever you want, but my assumption about your problems will usually be, "You did it to yourself for attention."

rant rant rant...

Friending grown-ups helps.

I'm 20. The girl I'm ranting about is 21. I know a 23 year old that does the same. Maybe I'm supposed to be into that shit, too?

It's amazing how kid like some grown ups can be, though.

What the hells up with people making profiles for their 5 and 10 year olds' and shit. Do you really want them on there? I would ban my kid from the interwebz until I knocked enough common sense into the fools to avoid lurkers and pedo's. Well that and some Krav Maga classes.

True dat.

My 11 year old daughter has a FB to keep up with her friends in the city where she grew up (they all have FB's too) and my ex's huge family. I review it weekly and we discuss any new friends she is thinking about adding and all her status updates before she posts them. Since she's not allowed her own messenger, she used FB IMs to chat with people too. It's scary, but I have to give her some space and trust that she will come to me with anything suspicious. Kids grow up so fast.

"Afternoon delight to help me concentrate on studying for micro :)"

And this just puts a picture in my head that I can't shake. The girl is fat and annoying (it's my friend's gf). Why the fuck would you post that on facebook asshole!

I had to look that up to find out what it meant. I thought it was a candy, like Turkish Delight, and was all "What's wrong with some candy while studying?".

lol - yeah at least she was somewhat cryptic?

I have bemoaned my friend who posts her "Gollum-boyfriend" on Facebook to many here, and even shared the horror with some.

If I see couples posting "I love yooou!!" on each other's walls, is it acceptable for me to comment on it with "GAY!" ? Or is that gauche?

My bro and sis-in-law did this today. My response, "Get a room, fags."

I don't think I've even checked my facebook in a couple months. I just keep hitting the add to facebook button when I got one of those baseball cards hoping it annoys the shit out of people.

It annoys the shit out of people!

jk

I was wondering why you're always posting baseball cards. I thought those were real cards you were buying and bragging about.

well, they are ones that I've won. That site is giving away every card since 1952.
I still got to get them sent to me though.

Well that's cool then.

Yeah thats alright. Its just every time I see these kids on their cell phones texting and facebooking it reminds me of how little we had when growing up. No cell phones, no texting, no social networking websites, hell hardly any computers for personal use at all. Its just strange. Hell by the time my kids are grown they will be able to read each others minds via implanted bluetooth chips in their skulls. Either that or WWIII and we are back to the stone age.

Kinda hoping for the later.

I don't hope for WWIII, but I do get a kick out of it when there's some huge power outage for a couple days and people start going all apeshit like it is WWIII happening.

So Whacko Catholic aunt & Crazy Conservatard Uncle (siblings--not married) both ignored me completely at my Mother's 60th birthday party. I think I WIN.

Nobody wins. Not even me, who should really put you on "hide" but can't help herself.

I am now guilty.

Months ago, a girl I had a crush on in high school posted how she had broken up with her boyfriend because he did nothing for her and did nothing but play video games all day...and apparently he has a small dick from what I heard at the time.

Anyway, more recently, she posted a status saying that the same dude pounded her ass and the condom broke "What do I do????" Then everyone posted solutions.

I'd post the exact status but now that I look for it, I see she got wise and deleted the TMI update.

Glad to say I missed that train. Even if she was the one who turned ME down for prom.

I just got called a bitch on Facebook. I commented, which I guess was rather immature.

No more posting in the grownup thread for you!

Yeah I would have given someone an FBook tongue lashing like no other for that kind of shit and posted a bunch of shit on their page.

I commented on someone calling me a bitch out of the blue (for facebook). RL drama, brought to the interwebs. I should have known better than to look, but it showed up on my stupid feed. My comment wasn't out of place. It was basically "Calling someone a bitch on the internet is probably not the best way to get them to do you a favor". You guys should have seen the PM that followed, though. Awesome.

Best block in the history of blocks.

Alright I have this old friend/acquaintance. She has been posting her health stuff on Facebook for months about how she almost dies and has some sort of unexplained and undiagnosed illness and almost does every day and how she can't move or sleep, or a different day all she can do is sleep. Basically the has symptoms of multiple illnesses at once and no Dr's can figure it out and she is dying..... supposedly.

Seeing this, at first I felt bad for her and being the nice guy I am I would chat with her and try to post stuff to try to cheer her up and whatnot cause she was in peril. Well after a while with every day status reports of her health I eventually blocked her out cause I was tired of seeing it, I still check back with her just to make sure she didn't die or anything. Then I noticed a trend a post like this

"Today I havent been able to even stand up yet, really not a good one. Hope it gets better soon. Too much to do, and I'm going to cry I feel so bad right now. When will this just end?"

Followed by posts like this:

"FRIENDS :odd request. Looking 4 ideas/places to find some sexy sleepwear, something to feel pretty in b4 Im 2 old & its not possible! Tried VS & another store, any ideas on styles or places greatly appreciated! :)"

And even worse. hese are just "light" examples. So basically every day she lets people know that she is dying and even that she wants to die to get all this pain over with and how Dr's suck and anyone who opposes her being ill doesn't "Know" her and is full of shit and yadda yadda yadda. Now all of a sudden she posts this:

"I AM GOING TO HAWAII A.K.A PARADISE On TUESDAY AND COULDNT BE MORE EXCITED! Finally good times for Crystal (and hopefully my friend and wonderful host David too!) I might just start chair dancing! :)"

So if your dying from some unknown undiagnosable illness the Dr's can't figure out, you take a vacation to Hawaii? WTF

I recently talked with a mutual friend who has been friends with her since HS and she has told me that this girl has always been like this since then. She will get depressed and then get some "mysterious illness" then cry out for attention but then she will get happy again and all of a sudden its all better. Its just weird cause she has been married for like 10 years and is always Super Happy and she is gorgeous but the girl has fucking issues and gets FB into it. The posts continue daily.

I'm tempted to post on her Hawaii post. "So your not dying anymore?" but that would just be a dick move.

I just don't get why we need to know what your doing a billion times a day. I don't care if your baking cookies, riding your bike, going to work, changing your babys diaper. It seems like my facebook friends are so vain they think everyone wants to know when they took a shit. Half of the peop,e I'm facebook "friends" with I can't remember who they are. I sorta wish life was like facebook though. Like if you see someone you really don't want to see, you just press a hide button. You could just delete people from your life and never have to talk to them again. I really want a delete button...

Jack's ex deleted me on Facebook recently. That's okay, she was the biggest cunt I've ever met.

Shame on you, Jack.

Yeah now days with all these social networking websites like Twitter, and FaceBook and even places like YouTube everyone and anyone seems to think they are special. That people are patiently waiting for them to logon and update their lives with an hourly status just so we know how long it takes you to take a shit, or that you know how to bake a fucking cookie. I can bake cookies too, I have fucking skillz, but I don't need to post every fucking thing I do and can do. My point is is that your not fucking special and nobody wants to read about your menial non-extant daily life. I like to say hi to people I know just to keep in touch here and there but I'm hot about to post all my fucking habits ans skillz just to think I am special. Like "Hey I learned how to change oil in my motorcycle today then had diarrhea for 5 hours after eating a fat steak".. Nobody cares.

Don't they know that kind of shit is supposed to be strictly kept in PA? Don't they know about PA?

I'm begining to think that is all Facebook is, a giant, world wide pointless announcements.

Somebody I work with got suspended for 1.5 weeks for shit talking the boss on facebook. He's supposed to have gotten his review months ago and hasn't. So he posted on facebook that the boss is a lazy piece of shit. Now he's suspended.

So now they're monitoring our computer usage. That's the reason I haven't been on much in the last week. (I'm writing this from home). He ruined it for everybody!

This is why I have 2 facebook accounts. My personal account is squeaky clean most of the time. It's G-rated and employer friendly and makes me look like I am just a normal average person.

If I am going to talk any shit, like anything weird or have friends that are outside the norm of what an accountant should have... it's all on Freemena. But it means I can't access that account from work. But really I couldn't anyway because I always deal with such sensitive information I work on secure closed systems anyway. This is why I have a smartphone with a data package.

This wasn't from Facebook, but it's related. I was walking back to my dorm from class yesterday and I overheard this guy tell his female friend that he regretted dating some girl his freshman year. She said, very, very loudly, "Yeah. This is going to sound hypocritical, coming from a girl who fucks everything with a penis, but I wouldn't have done that."
Wow. All of the sluts I've met in my life have tried to keep it a secret; she seemed almost proud. Ugh.

Nothing wrong with being a slut as long as you're happy. It does happen.

College is gonna blow your mind in a bunch of ways. Some of them actually good.

Crazy book on being a slut.

I think that that's exactly what FB is.

Why is monogamy always de facto "unadventurous" and non-monogamy "adventurous"?