Excerpt from BRUCE FACEPUNCHER, SECRET SPY (my unfinished Techno Thriller)
Tell me whats you thinks.
[QUOTE]Colonel Hardaway put down the phone with trembling hands. The other night, the top-secret factory had been broken into. The secret weapons he'd invented had fallen into someone else's hands. The wrong hands, since any hands the weapons held would be the wrong hands to hold the weapons with.
The Colonel turned to Bruce Facepuncher. "It's everything I always feared," he said.
Among the Secret Spy Agency, Bruce Facepuncher was easily the best and most violentest agent. He was such a good spy that most people simply knew him as the guy who pushes around the mail cart. Only the most elite spies in the agency knew that he wasn't just some mail guy who makes $8.84 an hour, and even then the people who suspected he was a spy weren't 100% sure.
"What is it?" Bruce Facepuncher said, shuffling the flyers for the office Christmas party, "I mean, wait, I'm um, not a spy. I work in the mail room and do no spying." He shifted his eyes uneasily.
"Can the act, Facepuncher," the Colonel said, "the secret Tiny Atomic Bomb factory has been broken into, and we need to know who's responsible... and they need to be dealt with, if you know what I mean."
Bruce's extreme facepunching ability was a blessing and a curse. While other people might have picked up the ability of punching faces, Bruce was a facepuncher from a long line of facepunchers. Rex Facepuncher, Don Facepuncher, Lil' Jimmy Facepuncher, and Admiral Byron T. Facepuncher III, to be specific.
"Yes, I know, it was foolish of me to build tiny, working atomic bombs to give out as gifts, but it gets harder and harder to shop for people every year," the Colonel said. "[I]You[/I] try finding a good gift for a guy who owns a flying submarine, or a watch that shoots lasers!"
"Have you thought about gift certificates?" Bruce Facepuncher said.
"Yeah," the Colonel continued, "but they're [I]so[/I] impersonal. Wait, what were we talking about?"
"Tiny atomic bombs," Bruce said.
"Oh, right," the Colonel replied, "you go find those things, or something."[/QUOTE]