Everyone On This Board Has Died, This Means I Get to Be Emperor

This is getting hazardous.

I just love it when people go scientific. Oops, sorry. Semi-scientific.

And I know it's from another thread, but nobody has told me what a chipmunk is yet, and I'm burning with curiosity...

You guys ever climb up onto a billboard and spraypaint the shit out of it?

Yeah...that's fun.

*whines* What is a chipmunk? what is a chipmunk?...

i like dipping my balls in melted wax

do you really have lupus?

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by lupus [/i]
[B]*whines* What is a chipmunk? what is a chipmunk?... [/B][/QUOTE]

are you retarded?

No, I do not have lupus. Apart from a disease, it is Latin for 'wolf.' And to my knowledge, no, I am not retarded either. Sorry to annoy you, I'll just go and look it up I guess.

Google is a wonderful invention

Yes, it is. It wouldn't take much of an effort though to tell me it is a kind of squirrel.

IT'S A FUCKING SQUIRREL! ONLY SMALLER! IT'S CHIP AND DALE YOU FOREIGN BASTARD!

where are you from lupus?

It's foreign BITCH to you, and pardon my not being familiar with North american fauna. I do know Chip & Dale, but i don't recall them calling each other 'chipmunk'.

I'm from Greece.

you don't have chipmunks in greece?

now that is gay

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by prototype [/i]
[B]Hey, I'm clean now.

But it used to be. There were a few people who referred to me as nothing but Skank, a la The Crow.

"Maybe if we record him and play it back in slow motion he'll make some sense..." [/B][/QUOTE]

ok, my recollection cap is now on.

I don't think we do. And I wasn't aware that a nation's sexual orientation depends on the existence of chipmunks. I should arrange some imports then from America, the straightest country in the world.
Unless you used 'gay' in its old sense?

america is gay

Now you have me confused

my sister told all the kids on the bus who made fun of me in elementary school when i got my first training bra in fifth grade. they psychologicall tortured me till the end of the school year, but i gave my sister a good pounding at every opportunity after that.

when i was in third grade a bunch of us formed a little soccer group to play at recess (i know, geekville). one game i was a goalie against this "tough" girl. at one point the ball went toward the sideline (which, brilliantly, was the wall of teh school, and we, brilliantly, were using a black ball, which got lost in the shadow), so an argument ensued.

now this girl, i'll call her "becky" had recently gotten glasses, and you DID NOT mention them in any way or your ass was grass. well, as the argument got more heated, she shouts down to me, "maybe YOU need glasses!!!" and it was all, OOHHHHHHH!! from the other kids. so i puff up my chest and in my loudest voice i yell out loud and proud:

"I WOULDN'T WANNA LOOK LIKE YOU--[SIZE=5]FOUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRR EEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYES!!!!!![/SIZE]

she walked very calmly across the hot top and stuck me, head first, into the snowbank that had served as my goal net.

i confounded everyone when i came up laughing.

and then the bell rang.

ah, childhood.

Kitty, your getting drunk story was rather brilliant. I loved it. I laughed my ass off. All kinds of good things.

Thinking about random bits of conversation or whatever, there is only one that has ever really gotten to me. My brother swears he once found a piece of paper in American History class that contained these two bullet points:

My new invention is brilliant.
I possess a monkey.

He found the thing when i was in junior high, and to this day I still wonder what the fuck that was all about.

Also: this new chick lupus shows a lot of promise

The first time I got drunk it was the school walkathon, and I had four orange flavour breezers (back in the day when there only 2 dozen premixed drinks on the market, tops) and had them in my camelback. So hot, sunny day+physical exertion+lack of water=me sucking the tube something fierce.. I was getting drunk in front of the teachers, getting them to sign my checkpoint card and all, and they didn't have a clue.
Other drunken moments in my life involve me smuggling a bottle of bundy rum into the olympics, and not sure if I've mentioned it before, my drunken 3am rockclimbing at the school camp.

I've yet to put myself through the humiliation of being sloshed.

I've no intention of it, either.

Hey, which camp, loki?

Clean out your PM box, you elven bastard. Then let's go get hammered.

I guess 72 messages is a lot.

Cleaned. And no, I'd rather not get hammered.

Well then I'm not changing it. We'll just have to settle for caffeine-induced weirdness. Ha.

Heh. Speaking of caffeine, I was at Gloria Jean's today and the guy there now knows I'm such a damn regular customer that he punches my card twice now every time I buy a coffee, making up lame excuses each time like, "Because I kept you waiting."

We aim to please
It is also fun when it happens the other way round. You know, when people are eavesdropping on your conversation (or just can't help overhearing) and you deliberately talk about shocking/absurd things. Following an old woman with shopping bags and going on how your mom wants to put you into rehab again since you took her silver spoons to the pawn shop to get your dose and you fucking hate the fucking place and, incidentally, does your mate know where so-and-so dealer is because you desperately need a fix... I know it's infantile, but I enjoy it. Another favourite is following a woman alone late at night, never letting her see I'm a girl, pausing when she pauses, crossing the road when she does, watching her grow increasingly nervous and clatching her bag more tightly... Love that.
In that mind framework, I guess that whoever wrote the piece of paper did it on purpose to puzzle the finder, jane.

Lupus, I think I just fell in love with you

I had considered that, lupus. But it still bothers me. Someday I will write something about it, maybe a story that interconnects the two bullet points.

Rohan: what was the name of that stuff I was supposed to try at Gloria Jean's, cause I think I found one o those places.

Is that a good thing?
One lovely afternoon I managed to scare a big guy in his forties that way. Go figure.

No. It is not a good thing. Run far, far away, lupus.

Rohan, what do you have to say?

Every girl who stalks people should have an admirer like me.

Oh, and it's called a White Chocolate Mocha.

Sounds yummy. Pity I don't think there are any Gloria Jean's in Scotland.

Do you have, like, a McHaggis, I mean McDonalds, though?

Um, I can't remember where it was, but it was run by the salvation army, like a fundraiser thingy. Quite ironic the next day, where instead of me throwing up everyone else was because they had food poisoning from the dodgy food. Poisoned by the salvos, how wrong is that..

Yeah, plenty of MacDonalds. And Burger King. And Starbucks. Guess Chuck was right in Fight Club about corporations taking over the planet. Personally, I think MacDonalds is shite. Got lovely fast-food chain in Greece -Goody's- absolutely delicious *salivates at the thought*

Only chain I can stand apart from GJ's and Starbucks (they don't count, they just make coffee in varying grades of toxicity) is Subway, because they taste cool and are relatively healthy.

mmmm, subway cookies....

Healthy? HEALTHY?! Since when is health a concern when talking about food? I have to grudgingly admit that the same goes for Goody's however. You can actually believe your burger once belonged to a cow (and not, say, someone's boots). Never heard of Subway.

Subway mostly sucks, except for the cookies. So don't bother.

Subway make long sandwich thingies. With stuff in them, mostly.

By definition, I should think. I shudder to imagine a sandwich without stuff in it...

You fucking hijackers.

Someone make the new girl tell a story.

The Earl of Sandwich would turn in his grave.

Why don't YOU tell another story then, prototype, o master of the story?

...and aces would fall off his sleeves...

Oooh, yes, story! Plllease?

Oh. Just scrolled upwards. I HAVE told a story. More than one.