Everyone On This Board Has Died, This Means I Get to Be Emperor
Since everyone is dead, I decided to start a new thread for absolutely ridiculous stories of whatever the opposite of accomplishement is.
#1) When I was 14, I had my first girlfriend. It was probably a pretty typical relationship for 14 year olds. We went to see Forrest Gump on a date. This was after we'd been dating for three months. During the scene where Jenny and Forrest reunite in the center of the pond in DC, I got a bit sniffly, a bit teary.
At the end, where he says "Little Forrest wrote you a card. He said not to read it, so I didn't. I'm just gonna put it...here..." and the envelope says "mom," I lost it. I started bawling. Nothing spastic, but we had chest contractions, full tears and snot. Not dignified, but an honest reaction.
At the end of the film, my girfriend stands up and says "You know, there's a fine line between sensitive and pussy, and you just crossed it. We're breaking up."
And that was that.
As a bonus post script to the story, when she walked out, I turned around and my Global Studies teacher had witnessed the whole ordeal. I used to brutally mock him in class. He was also the football coach. He was looking right at me and laughing. So the next school day, before he could do anything or say anything I threw my book at his head from the third row in the class.
That got me a few detentions...
Never get so attached to a poem you forget truth that lacks lyricism.