Embarassing Admissions & Confessions
Heh, "extended stay dude."
lamers. i don't regret my past.
I felt so bad.
She said, "Mommy! Why was he shaking his tail like that? He coulda' pee peed. That would be so ugly!!"
I felt like Chris Hansen was about to walk in. I'll never forgive myself if she ends up on Oprah in 20 years and blames that one moment for her becoming a hooker.
She should be fine as long as she has a stable male figure in her life. Like a father, an uncle, or a grandpa.
I don't regret it either. It was funny and outlandish.
who is chris hansen?
"It is true, that which I have revealed to you; there is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream - a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought - a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities."
so, um, he's the devil?
It probably doesn't mean much, but it really REALLY creeps me when I think of something earlier in the day and then later find one of you freakos posting about it here because it really does happen way, waaay too much. I ask That you please, PLEASE stop. I mean it. Not a joke.
You should write a book about this. That last line is great, "it's just a matter of timing and unlocking doors." I'd read the shit outta' that book.
To pedophiles he is. He's the guy that does that Dateline series, "To Catch a Predator." I think it's Dateline, anyway.
She should be fine as long as she has a stable male figure in her life. Like a father, an uncle, or a grandpa.
I'm hoping so. My dad's a great guy and she sees him everyday. I'm just hoping she doesn't say, "Oh hey pawpaw, I saw Trey shaking his tail and it was ugly!" I'm a terrible liar and wouldn't be able to save my ass.
my sex toy was made by a company called Bad Dragon.
I'm pretty sure you can guess what it may look like.
feel free to visit their site.
"It is true, that which I have revealed to you; there is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream - a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought - a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities."
I have heart-to-hearts with my chocolate labrador on a frequent basis.
What I have shown you is reality. What you remember... that is the illusion.
Confession: I can't stop thinking about Chubby Chops having chubby sex.
Do you like it?
I'm waiting for Chops' answer first. Only fair seeing as I asked first (whether or not she likes Chubby sex).
i strangled a turtle until its eyes bulged out. then let it go
!
I'm going to block this from my mind.
these last few posts alone are a new "embarassing admissions & confessions" post.
Is it really all that embarassing that I thought someone I never met or seen before was a girl? Not really. I'll just go back to thinking about Tobi, yeesh.
No, but it is embarrassing that the reason you were so intrigued probably had something to do with the dragon dildo he was talking about.
the fuck is going on here?
"It is true, that which I have revealed to you; there is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream - a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought - a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities."
I don't know, but you should post your Merlot picture for maximum comedic efficacy!
It was the avatar that fooled me. I thought we were getting a user with a pus...never mind.
Horrible joke but had to be done.
"It is true, that which I have revealed to you; there is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream - a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought - a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities."
YEAH, BABII!!! How bout it, Mike, eh?
1. i make faces at little kids in restaurants, and when they get in trouble, i got back to sipping my drink.
2. my iranian friend kahlilah and i decided that we have more body hair than normal girls should. so we bleached it.
3. i like stale marshmallows.
4. didn't shower today.... and i don't remember if i did yesterday. i am wearing deoderant though, and i did brush my teeth.
5. i think my nipples are cool.
i think i should just plead the fifth before i give all my secrets away.
“if you want to be a bird,” you said once, “with colorful plumage and buoyant trills, you must also be ready for hollow bones."
Wait, Chubs is an alt for Bearchaser?
10 out of 10 Sherlock.
"It is true, that which I have revealed to you; there is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream - a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought - a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities."
I thought this girl was coming over tonight to watch a movie and maybe fool around, but instead she tells me that one of my friends that's fucking my best friend has HPV. Man I was off.
What the hell? I've not made out with a sixteen year old since i was sixteen. Too, i'm a prude and wouldn't make out with a random floozy at a party. Especially if it was in public.
This here, man, it's everything. Especially because it's Beauty and the Beast, which was my favorite growing up. I watched that movie hundreds of times whilst dressed as The Beast. And Disney, christ, they know how to break you down, turn you inside out, and leave you whimpering in the dark by yourself.
I can't really think of anything that i'm embarrassed, though i should be embarrassed for most things i do. I like reality television shows and watch the Disney channel or Nickelodeon. Almost all the television i watch is summed up in that sentence. My new favorite reality show: NYC Prep. It's better than Laguna Beach and The Hills because it's on Bravo, the channel for middle aged women and gay dudes.
Oh, too, sometimes i let gay dudes hit on me to make me feel better about myself.
Has this "too" thing gotten cool enough for me to hate yet? Or should I give it a little more time?
What the hell? I've not made out with a sixteen year old since i was sixteen. Too, i'm a prude and wouldn't make out with a random floozy at a party. Especially if it was in public.
That's why it makes more sense that it wasn't you, as I said....right up there.
I already hate it
Well now I can't hate it!
What the hell? I've not made out with a sixteen year old since i was sixteen. Too, i'm a prude and wouldn't make out with a random floozy at a party. Especially if it was in public.
This here, man, it's everything. Especially because it's Beauty and the Beast, which was my favorite growing up. I watched that movie hundreds of times whilst dressed as The Beast. And Disney, christ, they know how to break you down, turn you inside out, and leave you whimpering in the dark by yourself.
I can't really think of anything that i'm embarrassed, though i should be embarrassed for most things i do. I like reality television shows and watch the Disney channel or Nickelodeon. Almost all the television i watch is summed up in that sentence. My new favorite reality show: NYC Prep. It's better than Laguna Beach and The Hills because it's on Bravo, the channel for middle aged women and gay dudes.
Oh, too, sometimes i let gay dudes hit on me to make me feel better about myself.
you're not british
What the hell? I've not made out with a sixteen year old since i was sixteen. Too, i'm a prude and wouldn't make out with a random floozy at a party. Especially if it was in public.
This here, man, it's everything. Especially because it's Beauty and the Beast, which was my favorite growing up. I watched that movie hundreds of times whilst dressed as The Beast. And Disney, christ, they know how to break you down, turn you inside out, and leave you whimpering in the dark by yourself.
I can't really think of anything that i'm embarrassed, though i should be embarrassed for most things i do. I like reality television shows and watch the Disney channel or Nickelodeon. Almost all the television i watch is summed up in that sentence. My new favorite reality show: NYC Prep. It's better than Laguna Beach and The Hills because it's on Bravo, the channel for middle aged women and gay dudes.
Oh, too, sometimes i let gay dudes hit on me to make me feel better about myself.
you're not british
This is about 100% true.
I made friends with this teacher towards the end of high school. we traded books and stuff. I gave her American Psycho and End of Alice to read. she was really nice and the last day to school she gave me a $20 and her email so we could keep in touch.
as nice and cool as she was, I still don't really want to be her friend, as mean as that sounds. I don't want to be anyone's friend right now. I have no intention of keeping in touch with her. If I ever run into her I'll just tell her I never got an email back from her (I emailed her once and she replied with her phone number (she wanted me to meet her so I could give her some books I was wanting to get rid of)) and make up something about how it probably got put in my spam folder or something like that.
I feel like an asshole.
"It is true, that which I have revealed to you; there is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream - a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought - a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities."
Is she hot? And how is that embarrassing?
It's more of a confession of something I feel guilty about.
and no, she's not hot. she's a teacher.
"It is true, that which I have revealed to you; there is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream - a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought - a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities."
and no, she's not hot. she's a teacher.
That's a pretty gay teenagery thing to say.
i got into a fight with a guy in a wheelchair - he won
"They express their individuality by wearing the same clothes reading the same books listening to the same music and hanging around in a big group - individulas finding safety in numbers - even God laughed at that one" Chuck Palahniuk
Rule 8a of Fight Club is you do not fuck with Atomos.
One time I climbed out of a friend's car, stoned out my mind, ready to kick the shit out of these three skater guys because they gave us the finger after refusing to move out of the way while we were driving down the street. I said something like, "Why the fuck didn't you guys move?" and then the lead skater guy was all, "You were driving on the wrong side of the fucking road!" and then I looked back at my friend like, is this true? It's always surprising how oblivious I am to what I'm not interested in. Then I apologized to the skater kid and said, "Sorry man, I just wanted to look tough while wearing this cowboy hat," and he said, "It is a pretty cool fucking hat," and then I said, "Yeah... well, anyway. Later, ya'll."
Also, one time I grabbed a black kid by the throat and said, "I'll snap your neck you little fucking nigger!" He had pushed my cousin. I was in my cousin's city, surrounded by kids one grade younger than me, about twenty of them or more. But I was big, right, and not only a grade above them but I was also always the oldest kid in my grade, being January born.
Everybody went completely silent, including me. I took my hand off his throat and said, "Sorry dude. I'm not racist, just pissed. I don't know where that came from."
And then he said, "Get down on your knees and apologize."
And then I grabbed him by the throat again and pushed him away and my cousin kicked some kid off his skateboard and threw a basketball at one of their faces and then they kind of just all backed up, and we started walking away, and they followed us, each and every one of them writhing to contain themselves and wanting to fight, but none with the mettle to commence what would likely have been the absolute shit kicking of my and my cousin's asses.
There's nothing more humiliating than trying to look tough, and going to that place in your mind, Shit Done Hit The Fan-Ville, and then ending up looking like an idiot and complete ass. It happens inevitably because fighting is stupid, which is why I'm happy not to be fifteen anymore.
The reason for the cowboy hat, is there really isn't one. I got drunk that night in a trailer park and traded it for a bowler.
I had to google Boba Fett.
Nah, son. I suckered some guy out of his bowler hat. It was a horrible cowboy hat, too, I was happy to part with it.
"Was I loud?"
"Is the sky blue?"
The Catmother of all Worldwide Cats
I am a sick and twisted individual who really shouldnt have contact with anybody without supervision. It pains me to admit that. Maybe sick and twisted are too harsh... Im... morally questionable? Unethical? And a little racist. Maybe more than a little racist. But I care more than I let on and it hurts me when you dont accept my sincere apology. Because Im sincere. Just too rude to come off that way.
Confession is invalid without examples.
I've found that the older I get, the more racist I've become.
Which is weird because they always say racism is something you're taught while young.
Couldn't have been more further from the truth for me. It was never in my family environment. the group of kids I hang out with growing up was a couple of black kids, a kid from South America, a kid from Thailand and a couple other white kids. And it was never even an issue. They were just kids like I was. I saw them as different from me as I would looking at a white kid with curly hair as being different from me.
But over the past few years, i've noticed myself thinking "Ugh, what a bunch of fuckin' niggers!" whenever I see or read something here or there.
But it might not be racist, because invariably whenever I think that it is because of something retarded that someone is DOING that makes me think that. Not what they are BEING.
Or maybe it's not, and I am a horrible racist. I dunno. I don't care what any of you niggers think anyways! So there!!
also, I told you guys about me getting in that argument with the kid from Thailand didn't I?
About how I said there was no such place as Thailand and he had to have meant he was from Taiwan?
The chick was a trip, too, she'd run around getting churches to get her a room for a night at the place and then she'd bang someone she'd run into at the bar or something...and the extended stay dude looked like he played in a southern rock group, you know the type...
I was surprised that they were banging each other, I honestly didn't see that coming, but I guess shit like that is going to happen, it's motel 6...