Embarassing Admissions & Confessions

I have a bossy, attractive coworker. So she gets on my case about something. In the course of 3 seconds I think, "madam is too old a word for her. Miss is too young and may show disrespect."

Her: Don't do that!
Me: Yes Mistress.

I have to stop watching porn.

I had to get the gas station guy behind the counter to get the cap off the gas can (container) thing the other day when the mower was out of gas and I had to run to get some so Giancarlo could do his chores. I'd have just had Giancarlo do it, but he had to stay at the house because we were waiting on Charter cable.

It had this thing on it that said line up the arrows to remove the lid but there was only one arrow so I didn't know what the hell.

^5.

You're doing great.

When I was 8 or 9, I thought these were the best ads.

What confuses me is that the internet says these are 1970s ads, but we only got them in the 90s on billboards and in the National Geographic magazine.

I used to cut out the Camel Cigarette ads Irina... the ones with Joe Camel.

Didn't the Malboro guy die of lung cancer?

I wanted to start a "Cult Roast" thread and the only rule is you're not allowed to get mad if you get roasted, you just have to take it. But i think it's against Cult regulations. Someone else should start it. Then we can rip on each other.

It seems like it has already began in the picture thread.

In the 70's, your cigarette ads were more akin to this:

Trans: "L&M cigarette smokes you!"

I don't have a stale joke for this one. It is simply awesome.

I doubt anyone advertised cigarettes during Communism.

Real, legit ads:
1970s

1980

1980s

1940

Irina, we had them too. They're simply 'classic'.

Also, that L&M ad isn't very old. I remember the bubble things. I'd say..2000?

...

Here's a third.

I meant in Romania.

I looked and looked and the most recent (before 1989) I could find were from during the Second World War. I'd guess Ceausescu wouldn't have liked the country's little workmen wasting time smoking. In fact, cigarettes, along with a few other "luxury" items, were very rare back then, which is why people still bring cigarettes, chocolates or coffee when they have a doctor's appointment. Old habits die hard.

Yeah, I think those Malboro ads were running for a long time. That was their 'look' even right up to the early 90s.

and yes, the Marlboro man did die of cancer.

He's cleverly alluded to in the film Thank you for smoking.

I also liked those Marlboro ads when I was 8 or 9. They appeared on the first issues of GEO magazine in 1979.

i watched the entire season of beverly hills nannies.

really, i watch most of the crazy reality shows involving rich people because i find them fascinating, like a specimen in an agar suspension. every week is like watching the fungus grow and mutate into something weird.

at the same time, it's satisfying to watch people have breakdowns over things that i probably wouldn't have to worry about in my lifetime. it's also great to see them go bat-shit insane over the smallest problems.

anyway, if they made a reality show about that australian iron / ore magnate who said australians should work like africans ($2 a day) and be happy about it, i'd be all over that.

this chick right here.

I fucking hate that term "Class Warfare".

i hate it a little less than 'job creator'

There's this guy who applied for the Norwegian course, and there were some problems with his application throughout the admission process, which I helped him with. Today he came back just to thank me for all my help, because everything worked out in the end and he's now taking the Norwegian course.

The embarrassing part? I turned bright red because of the whole situation. Seriously, don't compliment me in person ever, it's an awkward experience for both of us.

Before I "met" Cammie and googled the correct pronounciation, I used to say "Arkansas" like "Kansas".

So I've noticed that for most of the time, I've got no real overpowering sex drive. Like, I'm just going about my business. But suddenly, one random circumstance will occur, often not even overtly sexual, and I'll want to hump all the things or talk dirty to someone or what have you. It's kind of bizarre, and annoying to have the sudden urge to do naughty things to a lady. And by sudden, I mean sudden. I think it bugs me because I have no outlet, so it's more of an annoying reminder than anything else.

For example, the other day, some woman was wearing a shirt that flopped just the right way that you could see her nipples. She wasn't a buxom woman, and she was not ultra attractive, but I was all wound up for the rest of the day. It's weird.

...

I called that "puberty".

Eat more brazil nuts and eggs. But not too many brazil nuts at once because they can make you ill.

I hate where I live because I've been in the situation where someone I'm very interested in lives quite far away. Sure I wish her happiness, just not until I get this damn sexual tension sorted between us. I told her I can make women orgasm for an hour, so there's that. ( Believe me, it worked in the context)

Was it true?

Do you ever get the urge to talk dirty at inanimate objects? Like a STOP sign just suddenly beams at you and out of nowhere you want to call it a whore?

But you have remember STOP means STOP! Unless you have a safe word.

I'm dangerous.

Btw she asked that too. And said she was impressed.

Silly. Women can't have orgasms.

I just imagined having an hour long orgasm... I don't even know if I would like that... seems like a real commitment.

It sounds tiresome.

I'd rather an hour of other things leading up to a regular length orgasm.

For sure.

I guess one shouldn't knock it before one tries it though.

I'd rather an hour of being polite and minding my manners.

Giving women orgasms is a big mistake anyway. Why do they even need them?

To keep the jewelry company?

I like to give multiple orgasms that add up to an hour, instead.

Otherwise I'd start to ask myself whether she loves me... or the orgasm.

Gave one girl I dated her first orgasm, she was as surprised as I was.

I tested this by timing how long it took for her to stop screaming my name, and start screaming the name she suddenly made up for the orgasm.

The first girl I slept with was able to have multiple orgasms, I am talking one rolling into another into another for as long as possible. Next girl I was with wasnt like that and it was a bit of a let down.

So the honest girl let you down?

All life is a lie lololololool

Haha, no it wasnt a let down at all really. But the first girl realy could have multiple orgasms. We are still friends know and have had many a strange conversations. She has a couple kids now, nice boyfriend, and all that fun stuff.

percocets kicking in.

It's fucking tiring, I'm telling you.

I welled up when I saw a picture of Phil's memoir in a bookstore.

i haven't worn underwear since last Thursday because i'm too lazy to do laundry.

I threw up on my underwear last weekend while I was peeing.

Oh and I was out and about so I wasn't wearing underwear for the rest of the night and it was the one night I decided to wear a summer dress.