Embarassing Admissions & Confessions

I'm going to delete you now just to make you refriend me.

I read Chixulub's blog religiously. I couldn't tell you anything about his posting habits here from way back when he actively participated in anything, but I can tell you what he's been up to since about 2005. I like the way he writes and all the pictures he posts about his town and his kids, and I secretly want to hang out with him and his new wife in real life because I don't know any people like them in my own real life. I realize this is creepy. I'm sorry (kinda)!

He does have a pretty fun and entertaining blog.

I've been having a lot of dreams about Ron Jeremy lately.

I just re-read the whole thread. Some of you are real freaks!... I enjoyed it though.

Anyway, this is really lame, but about 2 years ago I went on Chat Roulette alone and pretended to be called Marie and from Paris. I got talking to this cute American guy in his 20s and he performed a magic show for me... that's not a euphemism - it was very innocent! He then said I was beautiful and was looking at me in a "I'm glad I met you" sort of way. I quickly started to feel guilty (being in a relationship, etc) so I logged off and hoped he would just think my internet connection died.

Sorry random American guy!

Its chat roulette, I think its okay. That place is full of penis shots and guys wanting to see boobs.

I work out my body now. What helps me is feeling like I'm leveling up like in a video game. Only instead of some character in an RPG getting stronger, it's me. I used to not even be able to bench 30 pounds for an extended time. Sure I could lift it a few times, anyway... I'm up to 100 pounds.

I'm gaining exerience points (XP).

Congrats Mike.

I can't blow my nose in napkins, handkerchiefs, toilet paper or anything other than running water. There has to be a sink and running water, preferably tepid. This is pretty bad when I'm sick and not home.

Wait, running water, like you put your nose into the stream of water?

No, I blow my nose over the sink but immediately wash my face and sink, even if I'm not done.

I am going to mail you a really nice silk handkerchief

That will never ever be used.

Now I have to ask why?

I can't for the life of me recall any traumatising experience that would make me shun hankies or Kleenex. I just know that ever since I was little I either pulled it back (?) or only blew my nose over the sink. I'm not grossed out by snot, I think it's the idea that it might touch my face a second time that puts me off.

That's why hankies have two sides.

Also. Euw.

But then I'd touch it with my hands. Because the hanky doesn't magically float around your nose.

Have you ever tried to hold in a laugh and have it come out as a snot? In the third grade, my teacher cut a shape out of paper that looked like a pair of boobs to me and I tried not to laugh but another student from across the room said, "It looks like boobs" and I painted my desk green from face explosion. That student and I later became best friends for many many many years until he tried heroin "just to see" and now I don't know where he is. Have you ever tried to hold in a cry and have it come out as a snot?

A laugh, many times. Those were the only times I used paper napkins.

My soup tasted like dish sponge but I ate it anyway.

Surely you can do better.

Yeah. That was a pathetic confession. Try again.

I've been farting like crazy all day and pretty soon someone's gonna smell one.

How is this thread still alive?

I walked out into the kitchen in my Tshirt and panties to get coffee this morning (which I never walk around the house like that unless it is the middle of the night, because of all my sons) and not only were the boys up (Trevor and Zach) but their little friend seems to have come over, and they were all on the couch and saw me. I hope I didn't scar anyone for life.

Trevor yelled at me. "Mom! Alan is here!"

ahahaha

That's hilarious Pep.

So today the phone rang at the restaurant and I was running to go get it and as I looked to the left my friend's little sister had the phone so as I look back in the direction I was running I almost ran into the infamous cheese delivery guy that I had a crush on. I turned red I guess and couldn't even say hi I was caught in such an awkward moment. So I turn back around and my friend's little sister starts teasing me that I'm blushing right in front of him. I felt like a stupid lil 12 year old in jr. high. I couldn't even look at him to say bye.

I have no idea why this guy makes me feel that way. My brain just shuts off.

I use the "bunny ears" method to tie my shoes.

I could read above a first grade level before I was three, but didn't learn how to tie my shoes til I was 7.

I think I'm rainman or someshit.

I could spell 'hippopotamus' at two or three years old but wore velcro-strap shoes into the fourth grade and can not spell hippopataumus today. We might all be autistic.

^This, except I learned how to tie my laces in grade 5. That was only because I changed schools and I had no classmate I knew who I could ask to tie my laces for me after Sports class. I still use a funny method and it takes me ages.

Guise!

Velcro shoes hadn't been invented yet!

It was horrible.

Horrible!

The word we have for Velcro is the same as the one for hedgehog. And I didn't have Velcro shoes, I had a deskmate who tied my laces before and after the Sports class, every time.

I wipe my ass BACK to FRONT.

does it get you off saying gross stuff all the time? You go away for ages, then come back and post about your shit and then fuck off again. That's fine and everything, but it does make you seem a little strange.

You know in the old days of the Cult, I used to pollute General Discussion with threads about my own bouts with diarrhea and bloody bowls.

So if a few measly posts around here about doody upset people, it could be way worse. Remember that.

*bowels

I was about to say that.

Well, were both right, because, yes at the time of that thread, my bowels were definitely bloody, but I was making the toilet bowls in my neighborhood bloody too, so yeah.

Remo goes away for ages because he takes such long shits. He can't just not tell anybody.

Is it weird that I enjoy talking about going poopy? I just enjoy scatological humor. It comes from my dad who would joke about shitting and getting Mad Magazines for me. It was once even my dream to create a grosser, viler version of Mad Magazine.

I just spent nearly £50 on a backpack that's the same as Spiderman has in the new film. Fuck sake, me.

I like browsing the free section on Kindle ebooks only to find short erotica which I wouldn't regret paying for if it sucks. Most often, however, it doesn't suck.

I fell in love with a girl I meet on Twitter. but I never actually meet this person yet