Embarassing Admissions & Confessions

ONE TIME I WAS IN A CONTEST AND I GOT SECOND

I accidentally walked to another town last night. Do you know what that's like? Venturing on a ridiculous journey, hiking up a long dark road at midnight with woods on both sides, drunk and with your cellphone as the only source of light, WEARING A SUIT, and finally seeing the sign up ahead as you get that "All right I've made it!" feeling and then you shine your phone on the sign and it says, "ENTERING HAHAHHAA!" And you go, "AW, SHIT!" as you have to turn around and walk all the way back. I've done it twice.

I know what this is like.

I blew it. Also I have two cans of soda and now they both have cigarette butts in them.

I tried to picture Ritt in a suit. In my imagination, it could only be a zuit suit. Like 14 sizes too big, you know?

This reminds me...

I once, and only once, took compromising pictures. I put those pictures on my USB drive and promptly forgot it in the university computer lab. It also contained several research papers and essays (obviously with my name all over them). Luckily, I'd already deleted my Facebook at that point for other reasons. This happened almost two years ago and I still periodically google my name, just to check.

And you might be thinking that maybe I'm kind of insulted that the person who found the pictures (someone who definitely goes to the same school as me) apparently forgot them or at the very least didn't even bother to Mean Girls me.

But no, not insulted at all. Not even a little bit.

The scoundrel!

By the way, what was your last name?

Biel. Shhhhhhhh.

"Alba" would've been more believable.

And "Simpson" would've been more geographically accurate. I picked the best one.

Aw, I feel bad for you Jessica. If you want to send me some pictures I'll spread them all over the internet, for half my normal fee, just for you.

It's good to have connections.

I like to think a nice woman found it, maybe an elderly Art History teacher who was there to learn how to do an internet. I like to think she went home and tried to put it in her DVD player. I like to think that makes USB things evaporate.

Nice try, idiot. I'm Jessica Biel.

Curses! Foiled again!

Moments before I started my new job this morning, I fell halfway down a flight of stairs and tore the skin off three of my knuckles. My boss went to shake my hand and I had to awkwardly explain why I was covered in blood. The rest of the day went ok, but it was hot as all today and I was sweating like crazy.

Also I have copies of the ones you sent me it you want them.

Firstly, you're a poet. Secondly, not the elderly Art History teacher! Thirdly, yes please.

Close your eyes when you email them.

This morning on my way to work I was rude to a woman with a legbrace and crutches. I thought she was being a bitch, when in fact she just said 'thank you'. Awkward!

What did you think she said?

I don't know because I had my earphones in. She had a slightly pissy expression on her face so I presumed the worst.

I don't understand Pottermore as well as I hoped. I still can't make the simplest spell

I feel really guilty the following day after being out all night getting drunk and behaving badly. Like right now.

Chin up Charlie.

I had a nasty confrontation with an abusive fat whitetrash redneck woman at the store late Sunday evening. She was scream-cussing her toddler and saying horrible, threatening things and nobody said a damn word. Cowards. I became enraged inside and said things (without cussing), and she said she was going to beat my ass and did a chubby come at me bro thing and then left abruptly with her baby, leaving everything in her buggy. I got to my car and sob, sob, sobbed. I wish I had handled that differently. All I did was piss her off even more, and I'm sure that baby paid for it tenfold when they left.

Next time that happens (and it will - people are horrible), I'm going to control myself and try to diffuse the situation with an act of kindness instead.

I want to save all of the babies and children who live with people who hurt them and are cruel to them. I can't though, and it makes me really sad.

How embarrassing.

Nah, good job. There's simply nothing you can do about that, except call CPS if you actually see something that would constitute taking a child away from his/her parents. When that happens, look at the kid and see if you can spot large bruises in areas that wouldn't normally come from falling off a bike. Also, see if he/she looks malnourished. Then all ya gotta do is get the license plate number on the car they drive, and call.

Aw Alecia (hug).
I saw a Rottweiler running down the street and I was watching it wondering what to do when this guy started chasing it, when he caught it the dog just flopped on the floor and the guy was dragging it along by the neck and the dog was just terrified, yelping and stuff. The guy was really scary looking so my boyfriend was nudging me to move along. I called the RSPCA but just got put in this endless queue and eventually hung up. I'm tearing up thinking about it now, I was bawling at the time, it was really awful. It's the worst not being able to help someone or something.

Oh shit, I've ruined my day! I really hope the guy dies of something painful and slow, the bastard.

I've been in love for a year today. It's embarrassing because I always tend to assign particular dates to this, even though I know falling in love is a longer process. It goes like this: the day I am AWARE that I'm in love becomes the day I take into account from that moment on.

I came extremely close to crapping my shorts tonight while on the treadmill. Barely made it to the crapper. There was definite prairie dogging.

Alecia wrote:

I had a nasty confrontation with an abusive fat whitetrash redneck woman at the store late Sunday evening. She was scream-cussing her toddler and saying horrible, threatening things and nobody said a damn word. Cowards. I became enraged inside and said things (without cussing), and she said she was going to beat my ass and did a chubby come at me bro thing and then left abruptly with her baby, leaving everything in her buggy. I got to my car and sob, sob, sobbed. I wish I had handled that differently. All I did was piss her off even more, and I'm sure that baby paid for it tenfold when they left.

Next time that happens (and it will - people are horrible), I'm going to control myself and try to diffuse the situation with an act of kindness instead.

I want to save all of the babies and children who live with people who hurt them and are cruel to them. I can't though, and it makes me really sad.

Aw, Alecia. You are a really good person. *hugs*

Embarassing Confession:

Mah belly is like jelly! And it's all bumpy when I sit down from the stretch marks. I have however lost about 14 kilos.

Woohoo!

Aww, hugs, y'all

Sarah, yay for losing! Don't be too tough on yourself, though - you only just got control of your body again after 9 months of it not being yours! I still looked pregnant for a good little while after having Anthony.

I'm not too bothered. Actually, I think because of the diabetes and my healthy eating during my pregnancy I'm smaller in some areas then before I was preggers. I know my body will never be the same, and they say it takes 9 months to grow a baby and you should allow 9 months to get your body back to something like what it once was.

Also, having been quite flat chested I'm loving the big momma boobies!

POIDH! Wait no, that's just rude.

If you were here you'd see them all the time. It's amazing how I just don't care who sees em. Well, friends and family anyway. I was pretty anxious about having to feed in public the other day.

My cat had big matts in his fur and I couldn't afford to get him groomed so...I shaved him with my bikini line trimmers.

I hate my job and am counting down the months until I can find something else.

This might be too political and it may change how you see me, but I'll post it anyway.

I'm a liberal. I believe in equal rights for everyone. I believe you should be allowed to love who you love and no one has the right to make you not. You know.. Born This Way and blah blah blah.

That said, I am not as comfortable around transsexuals as I'd like to be. And I feel hypocritical for feeling this way.

You feel as though you belong in a woman's body. I can support your right to accomplish that, but looking at you is like looking into the uncanny valley for me.

I'm sorry.

How do you feel about good ol' fashioned eunuchs?

This made me laugh.

I've been laughing out loud about this for at least three minutes now.

Haha, my boyfriend was really grossed out! The cat still looks embarrassed.

Sometimes I like smelling my skin because it smells really nice.

Well, women do smell really nice.

My crush who's single now (ive only met her once...why am I a creep?) posted on Facebook that she's at the gym now. I can't go there because I'd feel like a stalker, I wouldn't know what to say, and sweaty me is not a good me.

And I went yesterday anyway..