Embarassing Admissions & Confessions

I have a horrendously strange scream, for the longest time i thought i was doing a voice and the voice became a habit, until i went down a rollercoaster and the same scream came out...plus ontop of that i have a white trash/pittsburgh/ sorta gay voice in general

see

http://www.geocities.com/suprisetonyhatesyou/myvoicesample.mp3

thank god i only have to read what you think instead of hear it.

EDIT: i take it back

are there none about me?

I had a crush on the juice bar girl of this place I went to for a show about a month ago. I bought a $5 Snapple just to talk to her. I didn't say anything... I just said, "Hey can I have a raspberry snapple" and "Can I throw this bottle in your garbage?"

Last night I went to the same place and didn't even look for her.

All in all, though, I suck.

It's your charm monsieur sheeps.

when i'm outside, i secretly wish that birds, bees, butterflies, and all manners of flying insects would follow me around.

even mosquitos?

there are. do you remember that time you spilled hot coffee on your  very short shorts, inside Dunkin Donuts? and you ran all over the place screaming: "OW MY BALL!!"? i do. 

absolutely. they would be buzzing "the flight of the bumblebee" by Korsakov to complete the retinue.

I once pissed myself and diarrhea shat myself during sunday mass.

only group sex turns me on

Hi, I'm Ritt.

Ditto. That's two, how may constitutes a group?

As to the question...

I find big women attractive (not obese, there's a fine line)

I love shoes.

I always wanted to wear glasses.

Lost my virginity on a concrete slab outside my highschool. Got caught. Duh.

im Jenny, come here often?

sorry i love bad pick up lines

I kinda want glasses too. But my eyes arn't bad enough for them, so I'm trying to fuck them up by sitting close to the t.v., reading James Patterson books and looking at pictures of Sarah Jessica Parker. Even as I write this, I got my nose right up to the screen. Is it bad if my ears keep ringing?

Well then, is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I'm surprised it didn't break and cut you up when you fell from heaven.

I'm scared to drive in London, but I think that's sensible rather than embarrassing.

i cant focus in a room unless i can see everyone. like, in class, i have to sit in the back or at least on one side so i can turn it inward to give me a broad perspective on the room. if i dont ave one of these two conditions im constantly turning around to see whats happening behind me. you never know when dragons going to sneak up behind you while youre teachers telling you about piagetian development.

i also cant sleep if the room im in is too quiet. the silence keeps me awake. i mean, stealth ninjas are that silent. what if theyre in my room? or vampires?

too, open doors. cant sleep. oh, and too many doors in a room. too many entrances to defend against bad spirits. closet doors are okay though.

i have a lot of irrational fears involving ghosts and monsters.

cameras too. and giving blood. wont give blood or have my picture taken. well, pictures are taken of me occasionally, usually whilst im unawares. but never ever give blood.

then theres bugs. dont even get me started on bugs. i almost fell off a ladder today because a fly flew near me.

i got this one from the graham norton show: is that a mirror in your pocket? because i see myself in your pants.

i slept with my grandma till i was 10. beat that embarrassment.

i also had bad breath apparently, even though i always did what i was supposed to in the brushing department.

i only saw fight club for edward norton because i think he's sexy. but i ended up liking the story a lot so here i am.

I'm not schitzophrenic but I'm actually paranoid of my thoughts that I can't control like if I think the wrong things I'll have bad luck.

I'm afraid because I don't know if theres an afterlife and not sure if I'd get in heaven if there is.

Hey, I know exactly what you mean. On both of those.

I can't type properly. I only use my index fingers.

Although today I'm using one index finger and one middle finger seeing as I cut my other index finger.

That's another one actually, I'm quite clumsy. I seem to cut myself and walk into things quite a bit.

I haven't had a lot of embarrassing things happen to me lately. Except for tripping while trying to get on a bus, smashed my knee, and it was purple for a while. Of course tons of people stared at me. And I fell on my ass two times, 'cause of the slippery roads. I'm not used to that, I don't have to deal with slippery roads much at home.

My dad types with just the index fingers, it looks so awkward. I tried it myself, didn't go to well.

I'd also like to have the nickname: Tin Man

Mostly because I often tell girls to bang on my chest if they think I'm perfect.

The second line of this post is false.

I'd hate to be the paramedic on scene for that accident.

I actually enjoyed the High School Musical films.

Me too! I type like that too! Just the two index fingers. I've been typing like this for years... yet I can still type like 200 words a minute.

shit son. who are you? philip k dick?

i use to only type with my index fingers. but ive taught myself a new and imprved way to type. it invlves the index, middle, pinky, and thumb of my right hand and the index of my left. makes typing so much cooler. i can type reasonably fast but no where near even 100 words per minute probably.

another embarrassing moment, i seem to have a lot of embarrassing aspects of my personality, theres a picture of me on collegehumor.com. im passed out and shits written all over me and my face is colored green. pretty awesome.

whenever I can think of anything to say I just post semi-random videos to speak for me.

youtube.com/watch?v=HXoU_yasdOo

And I never bother to click any of them. Ever.

I don't think I've listened to any type of music yet this year. At least in the last 3 months for sure.

I only click anyone's videos if the frozen image on it looks interesting. which is like 3 out of 100. if it's just a black screen forgetaboutit!

I think about this kid a lot, like, where he's from, what he's doing, what his relationship to the world is. I'm not shitting you, I really am interested in imagining this kids life. He has character, in essence, his pose - the lack of a tie, the face in general. He has character. Is he a younger brother? Is he, despite the angst that surrounds his persona here, an arrogant young man having puerile dreams of a threesome? Is he a distant admirer convincing himself, or, calculating whether or not to present the ladies with the flowers in his hand. Is he just some lonely kid looking at these women with disgust? Does he see them as vaccuous objects possessing no charm or attraction beyond the physical (and from the neck down at that)? Is he perhaps just looking at a tattoo on the nearer one's back, quizzing in his mind what the tramp stamp means. I do not know. But I would sincerely like to.

i pooped in my pants once, i had thought  that i was farting, but poo came out instead!

That's pretty shocking. Don't miss it?

i wish i was retard strong.

I'm a crybaby...

I am not as bad as when I was younger, I would cry at anything and everything, and it drove my father absolutly crazy, he hated it. As I have gotten older, I can keep myself in check quite well, but if someone starts yelling at me, I will usually break. Aside from that, like when I am in or even around an argument, I can keep my cool, but usually have to go somewhere private and cry it out afterwards...

Anyways, I only thought of this because I found this old little book I made when I was in Kindergarten. The main character in the book is a little bunny, and i drew him blue-green, with a big blue-green crayon. See, when i was in Kindergarten, i had this obsession with a large blue-green crayon I found...It was dark in color, as blue-green crayons are, but when you drew with it the color was much more bright, brilliant, it's a lovely color, still my favorite in a box of crayolas. Anyways, I was obsessed with this crayola, and it was with this large blue-green crayola that i colored the bunny in that book. Now, why did this make me think of crying?! Because I cried every day of Kindergarten...

See, I had turned 5 right before the school year was to start, and the kindergarten teacher actually did not want me in the class, she felt I was too young and not emotionally capable of starting school yet. Okay, I should give more back story...see, my mother was a lunch lady at the elementary school, she took care of all the big kids, which was grades 4-5-6...my earliest memories are always going to school with my mom, and playing with the big kids and my sister, who was in the 4th grade, while she worked. So all the teachers knew me, and most of the big-kids knew me as well, I loved all the big kids, they all were kids I knew from the neighbourhood, I was very comfortable and I always had a blast. These are really my earliest memories...

Now, When it comes times for kindergarten, the teacher doesn't want me to start, she thinks I should wait another year. My dad has a big fit, goes to the school and says no fucking way, and that was it, I was to start kindergarten. Now, in retrospect the teacher was probably dead-on, I was a mess. I cried everyday, all the fucking time, I was a real challenge. When it came to recess time, I could not play over with the big kids, with my mom and sister, I had to stay with the little kids, and I could not handle it. I didn't know any of them, I was horrified, and I just bawled and bawled until they finally let me stay in the classroom unattended while everyone else played. I usually entertained myself with the big building blocks, or this magnet game thing they had...at any rate, i had little problem finding ways to have fun, all alone. So yea, I was a fucking case, and I was obsessed with this massive blue-green crayon.

Come the end of the school year, we were supposed to bring large paper sacks with us, to clean out our cubbyholes, which were these little boxes where we kept our stuff. I, of course, was the only kid who forgot to bring a sack...so my teacher got upset, and I started bawling. All I had on me was this small canvas totebag that the school had given us, and the teacher made me use it to put all my stuff in, and I had to empty out my cubby while all the other kids got to eat graham crackers and listen to stories and stuff...I just sobbed the whole time, that was my last day of kindergarten.

I kept the fucking big blue-green crayola, too!!

Anyways, did i have a point here?! Probably not, just the little book with the blue-green bunny, and me being a big crybaby

 Recently, I went to the gas station early in the morning after a night of fun. I was driving my brother's car and its a really shitty piece of shit car. Of course, the gas tank is way below E. So the whole time I was scared it'd break down in the middle of the road. Anyway, I parked at pump 5 went in, paid for gas. Then realized the gas tank was on the other side of the car...I had to go back in and tell the guy, he laughed. 

Your teacher sounded like she was a horrible teacher, making you cry like that needlessly. He or she probably shouldn't be working with kids if they don't know how to treat them properly... also, we don't know each other but the story kind of makes me want to hug you, or at least when you were a kid. I'm sorry.

 Here's some insight into him. 

http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1753683

I had a roommate in college, a black guy, that I really truly hated. He watched 700 Club and basketball religiously. He drank vodka and tequilla, brought over slutty annoying girls and friends. He brought over like 7 people one day when my friend and I asked him to chill somewhere else because we both had to get up early the next morning. He locked me out of my own room once so he could fuck one of his bimbos... he treated us kind of like shit, mostly ignored us, barely said a word to either of us. Anyway, I really hated living with him. He was making me racist, and I knew he kind of was. I hate the ghetto bullshit. After one particularly bad night when I had to wake up at 7 AM and he brought over a girl and a friend who were both drunk and yelling in the room RIGHT NEXT TO ME, I sat up and told them all to shut the fuck up or leave. The guy left, him and the girl sat in bed and talked for hours and I couldn't sleep with them. Kept telling them to be quiet and they'd get progressively whisper then get louder anyway.

He kept bottles of tequilla and vodka in the fridge. I urinated in his tequilla and put dirty dirty sink water in his vodka. He drank it one night, shared it with friends. Two weeks later, I got him kicked out of the room and he was replaced with that stoner hippy.

Sometimes I feel bad I made him drink pee.

i dont know if thats embarrassing or just malicious

i hated my roommate last year, too, but, shit. i was always pretty nice to him. he thought i liked him. he still calls me sometimes. it sucks to have to live with someone you hate but it sucks more when youre mean to one another.

True, but the dude did almost break my expensive DVD player because he unhooked it up from where I had it and set it up on his TV without asking, dropped it on the floor, didn't apologize or tell me that he took it, then left the remote in his bed... I mean, everything the guy did was pretty disrespectful. After a few weeks of that, I was done. Hence the getting him kicked out so it didn't become a war.

that sucks

my roommate stole my shoes and wore my clothes. it was very strange. he also managed to lose our garbage can.

there are a lot of other things he did but i dont much care anymore so i dont feel like trying to remember them