Dear Miss Irina Marina, I have a Question for you.
You just got off an 11 hour shift, with a piss poor lunch and half assed breaks. You make your way to the closest bar you can, trying to avoid the rain which hasnt stopped in weeks. The puddles are constant and you can only hope that your socks won't stay soggy all night. The door of the The Jolly Roger, or the Olly Ogger depending on how the neon sign is feeling, sticks as you try to open it and you stumble in. The bartender's mechanic shirt reads Stew but he introduced himself as "Rob" when you order a drink. You sit down in the back after ordering 2 eggs with hashbrowns and toast. There are 4 pinball machines blinking on the far wall and to your amazment one of them says it has a free game, you are not about to pass this up. As you walk up to the game the door slams open and in walks a horse. Snorting at the bartender and shaking off the rain he manages to sit down at the bar.
What is the horses name, and how did you order your eggs?
Our dear friend here was left out of the strange questions most new folks get asked. So I figured this was a decent way to make up for it.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
The horse's name is Hogan and my eggs were over easy.
Thanks!
Over easy is the best choice for eggs. Its what I always get when I go to the Jolly Roger.
What kind of toast?
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
Whole grain.
If you were a sandwich what kind of sandwich would you be?
And freeman, what is your favorite type of fish?
(YEs I am this bored at work)
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
YES THE SANDWICH QUESTION ERHMAHRGERD!
I would be a crispy prawn sandwich with melted cheese, lettuce, carrots and garlic sauce.
I just like exotic fish, those you can't keep in a tank unless you spend an arm and a leg getting salt water for.
My favorite fish is Merlot Braised Salmon with butter and lemon.
Mom's gonna fix it all soon.
Oh, Mena, sorry, I didn't know that was for you.
Its for everyone its okay.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
Then why isn't the thread addressed "Dear Miss Everyone"?
OHHHH just that one question I was for everyone. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT RITT?
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
Are you asking everyone what they think of that Ritt?
Nope, that question is just for you.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
Then why isn't the thread addressed "Dear Miss Ritt"?
The thread has mutated. I would take these questions up with Irina if I were you. But then again that could cause a mess.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
Dear Irina, why are you scared to start new threads, this is the internet? All the bullies around here seemed to have calmed down or left. You know you wake up at night and have the urge to post random shit.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
*disqualified themselves.
I have nothing to say, actually. I don't even wake up at night, unless I'm too thirsty or the cat has climbed in my bed and I need to kick it out.
They had some funny stuff to say, and were generaly entertaining, but jesus's tits they were assholes. They made everyone feel unwelcome, gave shit to everyone that wasnt part of the asshole circle and well, were assholes. That was part of the reason I left for a while was becuase this place just stopped being enjoyable.
But Its okay I am back now and realize the joys of assholes.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
A full nights sleep? Really? That happens?
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
Eight hours a night, every night.
I can't remeber getting a solid 8 hours in a long time, atleast not all in one go.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
That's why my life is boring and you make better threads.
Did you ever get picked on for having a rhyming name?
No, because everybody calls me Irina.
I'm meeting my girlfriends for a sleepover splashed with honeyed rum on Thursday night, though. I'll sleep less then.
Ok Irina, it's sometime after 2 am and you are in quite drunk. Not spinny throwing up drunk, but you are getting there. Knowing that you have stuff to do tomorrow, outside of sitting around in your underwear watching cartoons, you decided to get something besides cheap booze and offbrand wine in your belly. Your shopping list was cashed out last week so yuor fridge has a decent stock of food and toppings. Condiments as far as your fridge can see. You know your sandwich skills are sharp, but with the ammount of hooch in your system you know that whatever you make is going to take a little extra love and care. But then you see it in your Mind eye. PB&J
What do you do. Do you try to craft a masterpiece or do you settle with your old fling, PB&J.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
I have the perfect answer for this. Just yesterday I found out that there is such a thing as speculoos spread. So I'll make a S&J sandwich instead. Speculoos spread on crisp white toast and quince jam. Which, incidentally, mum made today. So there. A sweet snack for my inebriated 2 am self.
http://www.belgianchocs.com/catalog/lotus-speculoos-spread-crunchy-380g-...
I didn't know what speculoos was until I moved here. It's probably my favorite kind of crepe. It's amazing. SOOO GOOD!!
Crepe? There are speculoos crepes? I only know the biscuits.
No, I mean, they put the speculoos in the crepe. And I die of happiness.
I looked up this speculoos spread.
Also known as "cookie butter"
How is this not the biggest thing in America?
It needs to be.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
Ginger and spice and everything nice cookies.
We call it speculaas and it's one of my favorite things! I brought the spices to Norway, so that I can make Dutch treats with it.
What? is it cookies that have been turned into a spread?
That sounds like it could rival Nutella.
Speculoos spices: pepper, cinnamon, ginger, cloves, cardamom and nutmeg
This is... This is everything Christmas. I must have this stuff.
Those biscuits are the best, Amber. Okay, probably on the same level of coolness as lemon-filled ones.
we have cookie butter in america, it's called "biscoff spread" and you can get it at walmart.
“if you want to be a bird,” you said once, “with colorful plumage and buoyant trills, you must also be ready for hollow bones."
I'm pretty sure "Biscoff spread" is the same thing as speculoos. The packages look the same.
Edit: Upon further review, they are made by the same company. Lotus.
I don't want no stinkin Biscoff, that sounds like something my dog ralfed up.
I want Speculoos. It sounds special-ous.
Speculoos are also the glass-man's favourite delicacy in Amélie.
You are a sweetheart, dear norm. I only wish I was an indeterminable amount of years younger and I would... well you know.
Mom's gonna fix it all soon.