Cynicism

I know myself.

All Observations are based on myself, thus they are true.

Every human emotion is alike so I know it to be true for everyone, I simply need to look at history to confirm it.

The greatest illusion is that we are all different.

I don't think it's possible to exist in today's world without some measure of cynicism. Anyone of any intelligence is going to have a somewhat cynical side to them... it's damn near impossible not to see through some of the bullshit that surrounds us. Take beer commercials, for example... what sub-pathetic mastermind came up with these? Even worse, there are those amongst us who actually buy into them, thinking their lives should be just that hip. Usually, though, as a species, we take campaigns that are that blatant with a grain of salt. Some people take the cynicism further than others, and some try their best not to succumb to it. To a certain extent, I enjoy cynicism, especially when applied to humor. On the other hand, though, I feel it robs me of a certain innocence...

I remember in the third or fourth grade, I thought the government was good and was there to help us. Slowly, as I grew up, I came to realize what an illusion that was. It's not as if the government has commercials advertising how wonderful it is, but somehow, I had absorbed the idea that the government was this benevolent force. I don't think my parents would have told me that ... perhaps it was taught in school. Anyhow, I was shocked to find out it was all a huge lie. Even after this, though, as I became old enough to work, I talked about how I didn't mind the chunk taken out of my salary for taxes, because I felt I was "Doing My Part for the Good of the Country", same as my time in the military. I didn't understand why people always complained about tax increases and taxes in general... I thought that by paying taxes, I was helping to pay off the national debt, and that the national debt was every person's responsibility. I thought it was the result of helping out other countries who needed financial assistance. I thought it was actually something that could be paid off, even though I had no idea to whom we were paying this money. Anyhow, I thought that my taxes could actually help lower it. What shit. I wasn't paying for feeding the hungry or for protecting the innocent, I was paying for congressmen's summer homes, Clinton's knob jobs, and Kennedy's compound...

It's a sad thing, losing one's innocence. Sadder still is when one allows that loss to ruin one's life, to suck all the joy and wonder out of living. This hasn't happened to me, though it almost did for awhile... I felt totally overwhelmed by the magnitude of world problems, world suffering, the futility of existence in general, everything that disillusioned youth get wrapped up in. I couldn't fathom ever reaching harmony with the planet, and I saw humanity plummeting into a huge abyss, dragging all living things on Earth down with us... In many respects, that view hasn't changed... but I have somewhat come to terms with the fact that I'm here for now, and I might as well make the most of it. I still wrestle with many issues, but I have learned that there are positive experiences to be had here. We're here for some reason that is totally beyond my comprehension. Personally, I think we chose to be here to experience life as fleshly creatures, and I'm certainly not the first to think this. Perhaps it's just a comforting thought to say we have some control over our lives and our destinies, rather than to think we are just randomly here, and will soon randomly die and become nothing. I do spend a lot of time and energy thinking about these subjects, to which my spiritual page will duly attest, but I do not let them consume me as I once did...

I take great pleasure in simple things now, whereas when I was a cynical child, I did not let myself enjoy things like fireworks or parades, because they seemed entirely too silly in light of other "more important" things. I learned very early on, though, not to discuss these feelings I had at such a tender age. Teachers and other adults looked at me strangely, wondering why I should concern myself with such things, so I learned how to fake it when I was still young. I really deprived myself of a lot of fun as a child, not to say I never had any. I see pictures of myself when I was perhaps five years old, romping in leaves and playing in the snow, and I can vaguely remember such things, but overall, I remember being a silent observer, quietly seeing the agony and futility of life, but not talking about it. Going to the fireworks and "oooo'ing" and "aaaaahhh'ing" with the rest of them, wondering why we silly creatures kept coming to these things, year after year, being eaten alive by mosquitos, and seeing the same stupid pattens in the sky, that were probably scaring the hell out of the local wildlife. Now I feel that some of these silly things are more of a reason to enjoy life... they distract the attention away from the horrific facts of life in general. I guess I'll never understand certain things, like fireworks, but I think I'm beginning to understand why such things are important. There's a sense of community, of belonging, of group experience at these events. We're all there together, experiencing the same things, and we're happy, or as happy as depressed people can be. Everyone is smiling together, laughing together. When people laugh together, it forms a very special bond, it shows we have a special common ground. While I do enjoy that feeling of community to a certain extent, I love being outside and away from civilization. Being deep in the woods somewhere, I can pretend it's another time, more primitive and wild, and that there are no such things as paper mills and tuna nets to not worry about...

As I stand in a glorious sunny meadow, however, dreaming of these simple things, my cynical self kicks in, saying "Sure, you go ahead thinking you're such a purist, and then you go home to your 27" television, your new computer, and your dishwasher, and then tell me you want a simple life." So I'm torn. I think I would give it all up to go back to a tribal society, I really do. To have man live in balance with nature, I would sacrifice anything. But what guarantee would I have that we would not evolve all over again? The only guarantee I could have is that we would in fact do it all over again, even if we retained the knowledge of our mistakes. It's in our nature to make things easier for ourselves in the short run... the long run is for the people living there to worry about. So we have things like *bleached coffee filters,* because we wouldn't want to put a dingey natural brown filter into our automatic coffee makers, now would we? Fucking shitty...

The things we have are so ridiculous and so amazing, and (this is the part that kills me) I want them all. I'm so goddamn torn between what I feel is the right principle, and the desire to have the camcorder, to have the supercomputer, to just have in general! I hope it's just that I've been socialized to think this way, because I don't believe that deep down, I'm such a materialist. The thing is, in this world, possessions are so often equated with success and standing, and we're all socialized to want those two things. I'm trying to decondition myself from these things, but they're so ingrained they are fighting me every step of the way. Plus, with the advent of the net and the web, there's so much I can do without setting foot outside my home... these days, you're more likely to find me staring at a monitor than through the viewfinder on my camera. I love photography. And yet where am I? On the web in Europe somewhere, looking at pictures of porn I could have filmed myself had I the incentive. Computers, television, etc... become like a drug for many people in many ways... I think "I can quit whenever I want," but then I find some new thread to follow, and another hour passes. It's really, really sad. And yet, it's so educational... I'm meeting people and learning things that I never would have, were it not for the net. How can I say no to something that has so much knowledge to offer? One of my main life quests is for knowledge, and here so much of it is. "No thank you?" I don't think so... This started out as a discussion of cynicism... fuck it... I'm off-topic already... ya know... sometimes I am so torn between being polite and just telling someone to Fuck Off. I try not to offend, generally speaking, and perhaps I'm wrong to expect that from other people. I let anger get the best of me. I get in fights. I argue because people are such morons. This, I suppose, makes me a weak man. Fine. I'm weak. I'm weak and I'm pissed off. What fucking fun...Someone insults me, and then when I turn around and tell that person to blow himself, I'm the one who gets flamed, not him. Charming. Ever had one of those weeks? Or more to the point, ever had one of those lifetimes? Yeah... I dig...

Sure it's all part of some grand lesson, but right now, I'm in one fucked-up mood. Ican't seem to do anything right at all. Or, alternatively, if I do do something right, it just isn't enough. I have never said that I am not an occasional asshole... maybe even more than occasional. If one pushes an animal too far, one will get bitten. With the exception of dolphins -- dolphins won't turn on you... but Flipper can go fuck himself for all I'm concerned...

Ideally, I know turning the other cheek is preferable to hitting back. Apparently, I haven't reached that stage of spirituality yet. I'm narrow, young, unenlightened, uninitiated, intolerant, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. I don't feel fucking narrow. I don't feel so goddamn unenlightened. Young... fuck i feel old at 28 years old... and I consider that a grand thing. Uninitiated, well, we can argue there...semantics, really. Intolerant? Perhaps, but I think I have a high barrier of tolerance. Just because I don't agree with someone, or because I question his or her beliefs does not, in my opinion (biased as it is,) make me narrow-minded. Hence, the "fuck you" responses, hence the flames. Hence my attitude in general...

I don't need the bullshit. As I said, I just can't seem to do anything right. So perhaps the lesson is to do things right for myself, and screw the rest of the herd... let the feeble get thinned out... The cynic is here to play for awhile... so if you pick up on two brown eyes and a sardonic smile watching you while you're here, it's just me. Don't be alarmed, just don't piss me off,I'm on a short fuse, but maybe in five minutes things will be friggin' peachy again...

Fuck...

didn't mean to spout so much, bra... too much MuHuang & Yohimbe in my Jolt Cola this AM...

You know nothing.

"The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing."

[url=http://www.outlookindia.com/full.asp?fodname=20030526&fname=Cover+Story&sid=1]Instant-Mix Imperial Democracy. Buy One, Get One Free.[/url]

this is a long thread and i don't really have the attention span to read through the whole thing, but i do see that ill rich is still around preaching his gospel. he certainly is a persistant little bugger. maybe i'll glance through this entire thread so that i may add my two cents cuz i do fancy myself as somewhat of a cynic.

the greatest illusion is that we all THINK we are different when in fact it's personality, experience and emotional / psychological maturity that distinguishes ourselves from another human being.

put that in your pipe and smoke it, ill.

framstedt, what emotion are you equipped with that I do not have?

Denial is very predicatable, all animals are alike. You WILL repeat the same pattern as long as you choose to be an animal.

Fram, man, that's wierd. I wrote that in my journal like, a year ago.

I thought that was pretty deep.

"We are all the same. It's the ways that we pretend we aren't that make us different."

ill, please tell me your a psych major, or a therapist or somebody involved in social work. it would help me understand why you're so provacative.

btw, i said emotioanl maturity. or, do you beleive a 3 years is as equipped to handle rejection as a 30 year old, huh? that's what i meant compadre.

eponymous, perhaps our thoughts are the same, too. ill probably has something insightful to tell us about our similiar but separate conclusions.

Quick! What am I thinking right now?

umm, that ill is a diseased postpubescent youth with few ambitions aside from irritating others? is that it?

Oh.

My.

God.

Thought brother!

wow. *awed by the psychic connection*

A 3 year old IS as equipped.

3 year olds throw tamper tantrums.

30 year olds shoot their co-workers.

Is it just me or is there a real lack of passion/ effort/ thought/ etc... in every post by the likes of illRich? I mean, there are any number of things to berate illRich for, but I get the feeling he's too busy talking to himself to even notice. Everytime I pass one of his posts on any number of threads, it is as if he is having a conversation with someone that none of us know, talking about something that makes no sense in the logical chronological context of the discussion at hand. I know 3-year olds were mentioned yesterday sometime, and that illRich is making some allusion to dry wit in his last post, but how does it fit in to the conversation now, and more importantly, how does one respond to such a post. It's like walking into a room and noticing an interesting piece of artwork and pointing at it and saying, "I like french fried pataters if theyz extra krispy". How do you respond to that? "Yeah... um... okay..." spoken in a "whatever" condescending-type manner? I mean... the topic is cynicism... I'll be ill Rich...

ill Rich: 30 year olds shoot their co-workers.

any member: Yeah? And...?

It defies a logical conclusion. Where do you go from there? Like boarding a bus straight out of tardLand and getting a flat tire before you even leave the terminal... stuck on some overcrowded public transportation with a broken port-a-potty overflowing with excrement on a hot summer day with no air conditioning or windows that open... you're just stuck there in hell, the hell of ill Rich's making...

Brock, it is obviously not your fate to understand if you cannot see that a 3 year old and 30 year olds BOTH respond with anger.

They are equipped with the same emotions.

He works on a higher plane of thought than you or I can ever hope to understand fully.

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by ill Rich [/i]
[B]Brock, it is obviously not your fate to understand if you cannot see that a 3 year old and 30 year olds BOTH respond with anger.

They are equipped with the same emotions. [/B][/QUOTE]

Well, that's a great OPINION, but as you have no proof, I will just have to assume that you are talking OUT OF YOUR ASS. I mean, you probably aren't a three-year-old, at least not physically, and even if you are 30-years-old, you are still not everyone. Random generalizations based on personal opinion and irrational thought processes does not make for a convincing argument. I don't disagree or agree with anything you say ill Rich, because everything you say would be better off left unsaid. You are master of the obvious and guardian of the sacred nincompoop stone... have you ever thought of what a gigantic waste of time you saying anything really is, ill Rich? No one agrees with you. No one cares how you feel or what you think. You come off as less than intelligent and frankly a bit doltish. What exactly are you trying to accomplish here, ill Rich. If you are seeking to get insulted by posting complete and utter nonsense, then you have succeeded admirably. Kudos to you in your non-movement by no one and for nobody. You have truly made a case for nothing and about nothing. I don't think anyone... ever... could have made such a non-point as you have. In the history of all existence, you take the prize for being of absolutely no worth to anyone or anything whatsoever. Cheers...

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by ill Rich [/i]
[B]A 3 year old IS as equipped.

3 year olds throw tamper tantrums.

30 year olds shoot their co-workers. [/B][/QUOTE]

ill, your abilities to reason are on par with a three year old. jesus. are you not getting enough attention at home? do you really believe the shit you post as philosophy. take a course in logic too while you're at it.

there is no fucking way a three year old is as equipped as a mature adult. do you have children? where are your credentials, you canned sack of potatoes?

Incensed 34 year old who is not shooting co-workers.

He reminds me of some guy I used to talk to a lot on the net. We were friends for awhile, but he got so annoyingly stupid I had to stop talking to the wanker.

They've both got that absolute void of personality and think that lacking one somehow equates to having intelligence. Both of them are real matter-of-fact, bland and wrong. It's kind of scary. I was hoping these sort of people were a rarer breed.

The guy's SN is Lynemn, if anyone cares. Make fun of him. It's a blast.

Ill Rich is just I think maybe a little older than Lynemn. That's about the main difference, Lynemn was even dumber than Richie... There were multiple times where I would finally cut his argument down to "well humans are stupid so I'm right."

Seriously. He said that. As a serious argument. Humanity is dumb, so he must be right. Fucking brilliant.

he behaves as though stupidity were a virtue, the diseased mealy mouthed whining sumbitch.

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Brock Landers [/i]
[B]Well, that's a great OPINION, but as you have no proof [/B][/QUOTE]

Tell me you've never seen or heard of a three year old's temper tantrum or a thirty year old shooting up the office workplace.

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Brock Landers [/i]
[B]I mean, you probably aren't a three-year-old, at least not physically, and even if you are 30-years-old, you are still not everyone.[/B][/QUOTE]

I [i]am[/i] everyone in the same I posses the same emotions, drives, thought processes, and reasoning as every other human being. In fact, those have stayed the same since the FIRST homo sapien.

Do not fool yourself into thinking you're unique.

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Brock Landers [/i]
[B]have you ever thought of what a gigantic waste of time you saying anything really is, ill Rich?[/B][/QUOTE]

Nothing is a waste.

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Brock Landers [/i]
[B]What exactly are you trying to accomplish here, ill Rich.[/B][/QUOTE]

Present The Observations. Look for Humans.

framstedt, you're 34, correct? Don't you realise your resort to cussing and petty insults is EXACTLY what the 3 year old who throws a temper tantrum does?

ill, that's because i choose to act like a three year old. you ALWAYS ignore the one piece of information that would otherwise render your puerile observations moot. further, show me a three year old who can cuss like me and i'll get you a spot in the circus freak show.

EXACTLY, btw, implies precise comparison. there is only a slight comparison, a likeness, a slight similiarity. it is not the same. the three year CAN NOT decide to act like a mature adult, now can he. again, produce something tangible. i'm hurling sundry epithets your way because i enjoy being reactionary and provactive, just like you. not that is an EXACT comparison, compadre. still, put that in your pipe and smoke it.

nothing is a waste. a direct quote by you, ill. nothing is a waste. very hyperbolic. i like that. did you get that from your friends at the recycling plant? *taunting, like a three year old*

an uttery unconvinced 34 year old gun owner who still refuses to waste my colleagues at work. *smug, high brow attitude underpinned by years of experience and too many degrees to mention by name*

Fag.

i wonder if ill rich is 'circus'-cized?

lol he probably has half a dozen half baked ideas about why you want to know if he circumcized.

I bet he doesn't even masturbate. Some dudes are just born, well... you know...

[img]http://www.filmsite.org/posters/frea.gif[/img]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by framstedt [/i]
[B]ill, that's because i choose to act like a three year old. [/B][/QUOTE]

At times, who doesn't? Anger is an easy emotion to embrace, and always leads to instant gratification - even though the desired result of getting angry isn't always met. The venting is very thereputic.

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by framstedt [/i]
[B]further, show me a three year old who can cuss like me[/B][/QUOTE]

Cussing is a result of knowing a language and picking a foul word to use to express anger or dissatisfaction.

A three year old CAN get mad like you, which is exactly my point. The three year old possesses the same emotions as you so you can understand it; and vice versa.

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by framstedt [/i]
[B]the three year CAN NOT decide to act like a mature adult, now can he.[/B][/QUOTE]

The mature adult does not act like a mature adult for mature reasons.

The child will stay quiet if it can get toys or candy as a reward.

The adult will work if he can get his paycheck as a reward.

Both are responses of conditioning, NOT a choice out of pure want.

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by disx [/i]
[B]Fag.[/B][/QUOTE]

The Coward.

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by framstedt [/i]
[B]lol he probably has half a dozen half baked ideas about why you want to know if he circumcized. [/B][/QUOTE]

actually my bets are on castrated

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by ill Rich [/i]
[B]The venting is very thereputic.
[/B][/QUOTE]

It's spelled therapeutic you [B]FUCK[/B].

I don't know, I just felt like doing that.

Carry on, you crazy diamonds.

The Asshat.

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by ill Rich [/i]
[B]At times, who doesn't? Anger is an easy emotion to embrace, and always leads to instant gratification - even though the desired result of getting angry isn't always met. The venting is very thereputic.

Backing off of your defiant stance, aren't you, ill. At times, who doesn't? The 3 year old to be sure.

Cussing is a result of knowing a language and picking a foul word to use to express anger or dissatisfaction.

Oh, knowing something apart from what a three year old still makes us the same, huh? That's what I meant about EXPERIENCE.

A three year old CAN get mad like you, which is exactly my point. The three year old possesses the same emotions as you so you can understand it; and vice versa.

No, that's not your point. Your point is to deliberately twist and contort any reaction to your preposterous hyperbole and throw it back in our faces.

Agree on point two, however, my contention that EXPERIENCE plays a dominant role in how those emotions are used still STANDS.

The mature adult does not act like a mature adult for mature reasons.

You really think so?

The child will stay quiet if it can get toys or candy as a reward.

You didn't answr my question about children, did you? Your responses are also what you don't say. I have to imagine that you have no idea why a child act the way it does unless you have EXPERIENCE with them.

The adult will work if he can get his paycheck as a reward.

I believe you are defining WORK rather narrowly. EXPAND if it's at all possible for you to comprehend that concept.

Both are responses of conditioning, NOT a choice out of pure want.

Conditioning? Guess you aren't a student of economics.
[/B][/QUOTE]