customer stories

I used to work at a shop that did custom framing. It's a very intricate, precision job and it's expensive. Maybe 90% of the industry are privately-owned shops and people in it are expected to do their damnedest to make sure customers are happy.
So this one time a woman had something done; a little POS crayon drawing her daughter did, I've seen millions of them. She had never been in there before and after she picked up her stuff she called us and said:
"I'm sorry, but this-this and this is simply unacceptable."
Again, this happens all the time -they bring it back and I, being the framer, get to play doctor and look at it. And then I play hostage negotiator and talk her down, I calm her down, tell her "...it's going to be fine, we'll fix whatever-is-wrong with it."
"Okay, because I need it by such-and-such and blahh..."
So I fix it. She picks it up and of course calls us again later that day.
"I'm sorry, but the job you gentlemen have done is just unacceptable. I paid a lot of money..."

Pause. Actually she didn't. People came in all the time and would drop 2 grand on stuff, and they weren't necessarily rich. This woman, however, was of course a cheapskate and purposefully decided on the least expensive POS frame we had, together with the shittiest matboard, glass, etc. People do this ALL THE TIME...bitching and haggling about costs, they try to dicker with me as if I'm a car salesman, as if I can somehow change the price. These are FIXED prices, people. Shit costs money!! I don't just throw numbers around, looking to rip someone off! These are her words: "Well, I want it to look expensive but I don't want to pay a lot of money for it." Careful with that one, it's an antique. Nice things cost money, bitch. But anyway:

"...and I'm afraid you'll have redo this again."
I tell her "Ma'am, I really don't know what to tell you. I've done everything you asked the first and second time and we didn't charge you for it."
"You're missing my point young man: I expected this to be professionally done."
Dramatic pause.
"It was professionally done, ma'am. I can assure we're all professionals here...we've been doing this for several years."
And then, patronizingly, she says: "Are you?"
"Ma'am, if you go to any other shop in the area it won't be framed as well as it is here. No one does this better than we do, ma'am. No one. I don't know what it is you expect from us."
So, I got my boss and they had a shouting match over the phone. A few days later I got a memo saying that the irate woman was no longer welcome as a customer, we had refunded her money, and if she came back we were to call the police and have her removed. There was also a new sign on the counter reading: "All sales are final."

Some people are just impossible. From my experience with the wealthy customers there, I've become convinced that the suburbanites are hiding massive bottled rage and resentment, especially housemoms. But just because you're husband is cheating on you with some 22-year old sorostitute does not give you the right to shit on people.

Long story short: Gated communities and strip malls are the new frontier for murderous impulses at loose in society. I'm so glad I don't work there anymore.

andy