Cult's Top Ten

Top 10 Bands of All Time

1. Nirvana
2. Beatles
3. Tool
4. Doors
5. Radiohead
6. Red Hot Chili Peppers
7. U2
8. Pink Floyd
9. Rammstein
10. Dropkick Muphys

Top 10 Worst Pop "Artists" of all Time

10. Every "artist" on MTV.com
9. X-tina Aguilera (at least she has SOME talent, although she doesn't really know how to use it, and I really couldn't care less about her)
8. Pink
7. Britney Spears
6. 98 Degrees
5. Avril Lavigne
4. That group that sang that fucking Abercrombie and Fitch song
3. Lil Bow Wow
2. Lil Romeo
1. Hanson

Ten times when using the 'F' word was probably acceptable:

10. "What the fuck was that?" -Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945

9. "Where did all those fucking Indians come from?" -Custer, 1877

8. "Any fucking idiot could understand that."
-Einstein, 1938

7. "It does so fucking look like her!" -Picasso, 1926

6. "How the fuck did you work that out?"
-Pythagoras, 126 BC

5. "You want WHAT on the fucking ceiling?"
-Michelangelo, 1566

4. "Where the fuck are we?" -Amelia Earhart, 1937

3. "Scattered fucking showers....My ass!" -Noah, 4314 BC

2. "Aw c'mon. Who the fuck is going to find out?"
-- Bill Clinton,1999

And .. . . drum roll . . .

1. "Geez, I didn't think they'd get this fucking
mad."
Osama bin Laden, November

( current ) Top 10 Music Videos

[list=1]
[*]Image of You- Red Snapper
[*]Only You- Portishead (by Chris Cunningham)
[*]Hands Around Your Neck- Death in Vegas
[*]Sabotage- Beastie Boys
[*]6 Days- DJ Shadow ( by Wong Kar-Wai' )
[*]Come into my world- Kylie (by Michel Gondry)
[*]Royskopp- Remind Me (by H5- i think)
[*]Come on my Selector- SquarePusher (by Chris Cunningham)
[*]Smack my Bitch Up- the Prodigy (by Jonas Akerlund)
[*]Windowlicker- Aphex Twin (by Chris Cunningham)
[/list=1]
[SIZE=1]( in reverse order, no 10. being my fave )[/SIZE]

murderkitchen wins

that made me laugh out loud

It's not like murderkitchen made that up, it's all over the net...
so he does not win, and all prizes are revoked

Yeah, this is The Cult's Top Ten, not the lame-rehashed-chain-mail-forward-seen-it-so-many-times-it's-not-funny Top Ten.

Mmm, but it was still funny. Well, maybe #10 more than the others. I just love understatement.

Like (much as I hate to quote it) the Family Guy y2k disaster episode. The whole world blows up, planes fall from the sky, nuclear bombs go off, trains derail, cars explode, and there's a brief silence after which Peter declares, "Holy Crap, did anybody else feel that?"

Or this famous aussie destroyer captain from ww2. Two huge japanese destroyers got the jump on him courtesy of some nasty fog, one torpedos his ship. It's listing, taking on water, and he calmly declares from his seat in the Captain's chair, "Well, that's torn it."

Anyway, I'm getting off topic. My apologies. I'll try to think of my own top ten when I'm not so tired.

You guys are just sore losers.

I'd like to thank the academy...and whoever made that list up.

cultsters with best avatars:
#10 R0BB23
#09 leonardshelby
#08 Rents
#07 Wesley Sonck
#06 murderkitchen
#05 Ian
#04 disx
#03 Valchrist
#02 mr_gone
a)#01 TwoPennyKenny
b)#01 plastic

*the special achievement award goes to twosmokingbarre

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by ampler [/i]
[B]cultsters with best avatars:
#10 R0BB23
#09 leonardshelby
#08 Rents
#07 Wesley Sonck
#06 murderkitchen
#05 Ian
#04 disx
#03 Valchrist
#02 mr_gone
a)#01 TwoPennyKenny
b)#01 plastic

*the special achievement award goes to twosmokingbarre [/B][/QUOTE]

Is that like the honorary Oscar ot the honorable mention? Or something different?

Top Ten Books Your Mother Would Never, Ever Want You to Read:

10. Cult Classic "The Anarchist's Cookbook" by whoever

9. The Satanic Bible- Antoine Levey (the book blows, but the name is enough to get the job done .)

8. I don't know of anything else, but it's a sure thing if you just leave (inconspicuously) a book around titled something like:
"Mom. Dad. So, I'm Gay. Now What?" by Dr. Whoever. And act like you don't know it's there until they have to ask you about it first. I know a chick who actually did this.

7. Catcher in the Rye- JD Salinger (probably wouldn't, but it should. every nutcase and serial killer seems to have a copy of this one book. stay far away from people who keep this book on their posession.)

6. Trainspotting- Irvine Welsh

5. The Long Hard Road Out of Hell- Marylin Manson

4. Naked Lunch- William S. Burroughs (conversely, "Junkie" or "Queer" by the same author will work just as well.)

3. 120 Days of Sodom- the Marquis de Sade

2. Anything by Chucky P. (my tops here are Choke and Fight Club.)

1. Exquisite Corpse- Poppy Z. Brite (it physically made me ill. obviously Poppy was going for the "on-the-body" experience that Chuck likes to use. you'd really have to read it to understand the depths of depravity that this author takes the reader through.)

I also wanted to add The Origin of Species by Darwin, but that would probably just offend your parents if they were strictly religious.

Any others? I'm stoned and require some editing right now.

concerning "Catcher in the Rye":
No need to fear everyone with a copy of this book. I mean to steer clear of the ones who carry it on their person, like the guy who shot John Lennon.

Add "Shit Magnet" by Jim Goad to that list.

Thanks for putting me on that list. Now I feel ultra-special.

"Ultra" definitely tops the list of most unused prefix!

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by twosmokingbarre [/i]
[B]Is that like the honorary Oscar ot the honorable mention? Or something different? [/B][/QUOTE]

let's say it's a special award for originality and productivity. or.. what the heck, let's say it's an Oscar. yeah. that'd be great.

here you go

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by ampler [/i]
[B]let's say it's a special award for originality and productivity. or.. what the heck, let's say it's an Oscar. yeah. that'd be great.

here you go [/B][/QUOTE]

Well, I am quite delighted.

And heres another one I recently made. I also have two snatch avatars but brightening them is a bitch.

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by ampler [/i]
[B]cultsters with best avatars:
#07 Wesley Sonck
[/B][/QUOTE]

ah thanks!

id like to bring to everyones attention- thats my buff chest sporting that tee- which is also- one of mine. woo.

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by ampler [/i]
[B]cultsters with best avatars:
#08 Rents[/B][/QUOTE]

Thanks.

As for the top ten books your mother doesn't want you to read, I think I'd put American Psycho before Trainspotting.

I can't decide on one so I just combined the two

TOP 10 CULT TV SHOWS/ PEOPLE I WOULD LIKE TO THROW BOILED CAMEL PISS ON (in no particular order)

10) Bottom
9) Get a Life
8) Tipper Gore
7) Mr. Show
6) Morrisey
5) Jerry Fallwell/ Pat Robertson
4) The Young Ones
3) The State
2) Usama Bin Laden
1) Beavis & Butthead

TOP 10- ( well current Player XI football team, its 10+ the gk)

GK- Sander Westerveld
LB- Paolo Maldini
RB- Cafu
CB- Fabio Cannavaro
CB- Christian Chivu ( or Alessandro Nesta )
LM- Rafael van der Vaart
RM- David Beckham
CM- Josep Guardiola ( or Patrick Vieira )
CF- Francesco Totti
CF- Joaquin
SC-Thierry Henry

__________________________________

Testing something. Don't read this.

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by SpacedOut_Fetus [/i]
[B]I can't decide on one so I just combined the two

TOP 10 CULT TV SHOWS/ PEOPLE I WOULD LIKE TO THROW BOILED CAMEL PISS ON (in no particular order)

10) Bottom
9) Get a Life
8) Tipper Gore
7) Mr. Show
6) Morrisey
5) Jerry Fallwell/ Pat Robertson
4) The Young Ones
3) The State
2) Usama Bin Laden
1) Beavis & Butthead [/B][/QUOTE]

The fact that Cedric the Entertainer is not on this list ruins it's credibility.

im very confused by spacedout_fetus' top 10...

first of all. is throwing boiled camel piss on something a way of showing affection or appreciation? b/c you have the young ones as a show you want to throw boiled camel piss on, but then you have it quoted in your sig as being the "bestest show ever"...but you also have mr. show and the state and morrissey on your list, which will greatly sadden and disturb me if this is a list of stuff you dislike.

small_fire = confused.
please clarify.

for being #1 (a) does that mean I win or i'm effing tied?!! hehe. it's flattering. thanks ampler. anybody wants one, can draw one up, perhaps.

top ten things i wish I was doing right now instead of making this list:

10. smoking a cigarette
09. sticking a lit match inside my urethra
08. watching more redundant "saddam better leave or die" news
07. listen to the elevator version of kid rock.
06. contemplating retaliation to those who dislike mr. show with bob and david.
05. watching fightclub for the 8 gazillionth time
04. excercising my OCD, dusting and re-organizing my stack of chuck books. over and over and over and over.
03. sticking gravel into my urethra.
02. breaking my othe to the abstenance challenge for the fifth time in a week.
01. having diarreah.

I'm glad I made the best avatar list. Drill Man reprazent.

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by TwoPennyKenny [/i]
[B]for being #1 (a) does that mean I win or i'm effing tied?!! hehe. it's flattering. thanks ampler. anybody wants one, can draw one up, perhaps.

top ten things i wish I was doing right now instead of making this list:

10. smoking a cigarette
09. sticking a lit match inside my urethra
08. watching more redundant "saddam better leave or die" news
07. listen to the elevator version of kid rock.
06. contemplating retaliation to those who dislike mr. show with bob and david.
05. watching fightclub for the 8 gazillionth time
04. excercising my OCD, dusting and re-organizing my stack of chuck books. over and over and over and over.
03. sticking gravel into my urethra.
02. breaking my othe to the abstenance challenge for the fifth time in a week.
01. having diarreah. [/B][/QUOTE]

Even it was not tied I would still be number 1, bitch. Honorary Oscar is a lifetime achievement, its the Pulitzer prize for avatar making bitch. So, just back off you suck

My life isn't lonely, honestly.

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by valium25mg [/i]
[B]Top Ten Books Your Mother Would Never, Ever Want You to Read:

2. Anything by Chucky P. (my tops here are Choke and Fight Club.)[/B][/QUOTE]

I just made my mom get some of his books from the library, and she loves him.

She's halfway through Lullaby in less than a week. The last book she read took her five years.

small_fire it is a combined list of my favorite TV shows as well as half of it being people I can't stand (including Morrisey).

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by SpacedOut_Fetus
I can't decide on one so I just combined the two

TOP 10 CULT TV SHOWS/ PEOPLE I WOULD LIKE TO THROW BOILED CAMEL PISS ON (in no particular order)

don't call me bitch. i made mine with my bare hands. Don't make me angry. you wouldn't like me when I'm angry. Requium is a great movie and you STOLE that avetar!!! hahahahaha...
i get bored and sad and before i balled up into a little corner and cry, i drew my avetar. I call him skip. He likes you. mother bitcher.

i love skip.
he's got so much expression in his face.

skip's the best.

well, i am glad that you like mr. show and the state. have you seen wet hot american summer? it rules (and is by members of the state)
and other state site: [url]www.stellacomedy.com[/url]
go check out the films that they played before each stand up. fucking hilarious.
because you love these shows, i can deal with your hate of morrissey

wet hot american summer is the best movie ever.
thanks again, ampler. skip likes you a little too much i think.

If I had any idea what your talking about, I would comment on it. But I don't, so I won't.... Wait, I just did.

hahahahahahahaa.
read, chuck. READ!!!!!!!!!

Read Chuck? But I have already read all of his books numours times. Just kidding. Ummm... I'd rather make Easy Mac. Seriously. I live off of that shit.

no, "chuckX"... scroll upeth and readeth.

I was reading the bible today. Does that counth, Kennyth?

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by TwoPennyKenny [/i]
[B]don't call me bitch. i made mine with my bare hands. Don't make me angry. you wouldn't like me when I'm angry. Requium is a great movie and you STOLE that avetar!!! hahahahaha...
i get bored and sad and before i balled up into a little corner and cry, i drew my avetar. I call him skip. He likes you. mother bitcher. [/B][/QUOTE]

Its not the exact sequence. I edited out a few scenes to make it small enough and some were not clear. And is he single?

No, really, my life is not lonely. I really do not need any paper-thin, two-dimensional people.

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by SpacedOut_Fetus [/i]
[B]10) Bottom[/B][/QUOTE]

<3<3<3<3<3<3

i love Bottom!!!!

I have Bottom live 1 & 2, thanks to the most uber spiffy guy in the world (my friend Chris, who is also responsible for my Bad News disc and has promised other Rik and Ade goodies in the future)

Someday I will find a way to go back in time, clone Rik Mayall, and come back to the present so I can marry a version of him that is somewhere between 27 and 31 years old.

Do you have the Young Ones DVDs???

yes, its time to play mt fave. game again.... Murder in the Dark.

re: Bottom, did any of you gals/guys like the movie, Guesthouse Paradiso? it was sooooo ludicrous , i.e. brilliant. i think one of the greatest scenes is in the intro, Eddie riding the scooter and pulling a martini out of his coat pocket. genius.

Have not had the pleasure of seeing GHP yet, but it is among the things said ubernifty friend is going to helpme aquire.

I also used to do a cable access comedy show, and we had plans to parody (okay, more like "rip off") the Dangerous Brothers.

It was going to be called "The Stupid Sisters". It was lots of fun to work on, since the other girl and I had this quiet distaste for each other, and who doesn't like excuses to commit acts of violence in that sort of situation?

The downside was that my boobs almost always had "claw marks" from when she'd dig her fingernails into them (ow!!!!)

oh no, your poor boobs.- unless of course you favour a bit of pain.

re: Rik Mayall- and this is a tad more obscure- have you seen 'How To Be a Little Sod'? its interesting. oh oh, and one of my fave. Bottom moments-- is the Wombles vs Camping on Wimbledon common episode, so good.

Richie: ' Well Eddie, of course the whole contents of the universe isnt solely located within this tent ! '

have nothad the pleasure... but damnit, now i wish i had.

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by twosmokingbarre [/i]
[B]Its not the exact sequence. I edited out a few scenes to make it small enough and some were not clear. And is he single?

No, really, my life is not lonely. I really do not need any paper-thin, two-dimensional people. [/B][/QUOTE]

He's not 2-d, he's like gosh darned computer animated!!! :eek:
he is single. yep. he has no lower body, so if you are shallow, skip is better off never hearing that you're interested. he has no legs and a bullet in his head. he still likes you though.

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by valium25mg [/i]
[B]concerning "Catcher in the Rye":
No need to fear everyone with a copy of this book. I mean to steer clear of the ones who carry it on their person, like the guy who shot John Lennon. [/B][/QUOTE]

I carry one around... but thats cause I'm doing it in school...

I think valium was sort of referring to the movie conspiracy theory.
i need to read catcher in the rye. I feel like i'm missing out on one of life's great thingy mah doos.

Top ten words I'm about to use

10. I'd
09. Like
08. For
07. Y'all
06. To
05. Post
04. More
03. Top
02. Ten
01. Lists

My ten favorite things (for at least the next 10 mintues)

10. Lowki trying to eat my feet.

9. My great stereo that allows me to drown out the hillbilly meeting outside my apartment

8. new baseball ps2 game

7. Thursdays (tomorrow) because I get paid, woo!

6. my new conditioner. my hair's so soft! **pets self**
**offers hair for others to pet**

5. the pills that are starting to work on my sore back

4. the fan and the breeze (if only i could open the window...see#9)

3. Jeremy

2. my mommie...she bought me books yesterday, (like i need more)

1. lowki, who's now digging through my hair...since i was petting my hair, he sees fingers poking out and attacks. (he also eats my hair in the mornings if i'm not up soon enough for him)

Top 10 Engrish Moments

10) [URL=http://www.engrish.com/recent/image/happy-drug.jpg]happy drug[/URL]
9) [URL=http://www.engrish.com/recent/image/bus-stop.jpg]bus[/URL]
8) [URL=http://www.engrish.com/toys/image/dangerengrish.jpg]danger[/URL]
7) [URL=http://www.engrish.com/buildings/image/fack.jpg]fack[/URL]
6) [URL=http://www.engrish.com/clothing/image/urine-tshirt.jpg]urine[/URL]
5) [URL=http://www.engrish.com/signs/image/erectiondeck.jpg]erection[/URL]
4) [URL=http://www.engrish.com/signs/image/aquabar.jpg]aqua bar[/URL]
3) [URL=http://www.engrish.com/chocolate/image/candy.jpg]candy[/URL]
2) [URL=http://www.engrish.com/clothing/image/en-crapworld.jpg]crap[/URL]
1) [URL=http://www.engrish.com/clothing/image/revolver.jpg]revolver[/URL]