Cult Secrets!

FearlessFife believes in safe sex and so is an axillist. An axillist is a person who likes to make love to armpits instead of vaginas. You go Fife!

[QUOTE=Smartazboy]FearlessFife believes in safe sex and so is an axillist. An axillist is a person who likes to make love to armpits instead of vaginas. You go Fife![/QUOTE]
**Bows head in shame**
No, no. My name is Jose, and I'm different. Some might wonder why, and some might say how? But I say to you, lube and a pit, I just wont quit.

Frank doesn't shave, he just dyes his beard with Just for Men's "Mexi-color" shade.

capitalistnihilist is actually a reporter for the Washington Post "slumming" on the cult doing research for a "piece" on public perception of the media.

Brak's favorite movie of all time is [i]Ghost Dad[/i], starring Bill Cosby.

She doesn't understand why there wasn't a sequel.

woulda been funnier with [i]Leonard Part 6[/i] and wanting prequels

[QUOTE=karbunkle]woulda been funnier with [i]Leonard Part 6[/i] and wanting prequels[/QUOTE]
Not really.

[QUOTE=Nightrious]Not really.[/QUOTE]
well, it would have been funnier than the actual movie

[QUOTE=Federov]Frank doesn't shave, he just dyes his beard with Just for Men's "Mexi-color" shade.[/QUOTE]
Federov loves the uncirsumcized wein. He thinks of it as bobbing for penia!!!! Trick or treat style!!!!!!!!!

[QUOTE=Smartazboy]Federov loves the uncirsumcized wein. He thinks of it as bobbing for penia!!!! Trick or treat style!!!!!!!!![/QUOTE]

Smartazboy likes to eat chicken salad off of the grundles of overweight lithuwanian buisness men

Phleg used to watch Full House and jerk off to Dave Coulier and all his hockey jerseys. ANy time Uncle Jesse said, "Whoah", Phlegmatics sported wood."

[QUOTE=Smartazboy]Phleg used to watch Full House and jerk off to Dave Coulier and all his hockey jerseys. ANy time Uncle Jesse said, "Whoah", Phlegmatics sported wood."[/QUOTE]
Smartaz fantasizes about joey laurence taking a shit on his chest, while wearing a Dave Coulier mask.

Phelg loves to fondles his bacon at breakfast to evoke the canadian god that dwells within him.

I'm a carrot.

i thought it was a pickle

I'm partaking in some shady dealings this June, unknown to the State of California!

It may or may not involve smoking in a restricted area. I won't tell.

[QUOTE=Spike]I'm partaking in some shady dealings this June, unknown to the State of California!

It may or may not involve smoking in a restricted area. I won't tell.[/QUOTE]

Be very carefull and have an escape route planned. They can be as fanatical as those folks in Gary Indiana. Especially about smoking.

Edit: Oh yeah. secrets. I wear little bells in my nipple piercings for Christmas. Very festive.

^I'm curious as to whether or not McMuddle jingles as he walks.^

[QUOTE=Six On The Dot;908252]

Karbunkle once jerked it to planet of the apes
Seven times in a row[/QUOTE]
that pissed me off with the new movie that they didn't have the sex scene with the monkeygirl
I mean comeon! if your going to remake that how do you NOT have nude monkey sex??
also, that movie Playmate of the Apes was pretty great but I liked the one monkey spinning around and turning into Elvismonkey (a la wonder woman style) to be better than any of the sex scenes

Merry Christmas Nate

[URL=http://www.somethingawful.com/index.php?a=1667]http://www.somethingawful.com/index.php?a=1667[/URL]

NSFW

that doesn't look like it has any hot monkey love either
but theree make up is better than that playmoate of the apes on
you could see their real mouths talking through the monkey masks!

Shadov sings Mad World from Donnie Darko whilst using the restroom. It eases things for him.

[QUOTE=Smartazboy;924040]Shadov sings Mad World from Donnie Darko whilst using the restroom. It eases things for him.[/QUOTE]
lord, I did that once.

I made a thread, not knowing this one exists... Idiot..

Anywho:

1. I love reading Girlie magazines because they almost always include those confessionals in the back where people send all the weirdest things they've done. Sexually.

2. The first time I had sex was on a booty call. I was talkin' shit of how good I am, and then she said, ok, I'll be right over... I remember thinking of the book Choke and how Victor said talking about your mother, or thinking about her will postpone the orgasm forever... Boy, he wasn't joking

3. If I don't become a doctor/surgeon like I've been telling my parents I would, I'll settle for being a construction worker. Anything hands on.

4. I search porn sites looking for the girls who've dropped out of my high school.

That is a weird way to have sex for the first time. Mine was with a teacher, in a hotel room. The school didn't want to have to make a big deal out of it, so they hired me too, so that it was sex between staff members instead of teacher-student.

[QUOTE=xec8;992252]That is a weird way to have sex for the first time. Mine was with a teacher, in a hotel room. The school didn't want to have to make a big deal out of it, so they hired me too, so that it was sex between staff members instead of teacher-student.[/QUOTE]

I worry about your penis rotting off one day. Please be careful. I, for one, would miss you around here.

[QUOTE=xec8;992252]That is a weird way to have sex for the first time. Mine was with a teacher, in a hotel room. The school didn't want to have to make a big deal out of it, so they hired me too, so that it was sex between staff members instead of teacher-student.[/QUOTE]

What?! Are you kidding, this actually happened? Was this in highschool or what? How did that even HAPPEN...

[QUOTE=Adelheid;992282]What?! Are you kidding, this actually happened? Was this in highschool or what? How did that even HAPPEN...[/QUOTE]
Yep, high school. I was popular with the school administration.

That doesn't explain the C in sex education.

[QUOTE=UbikRex;992303]That doesn't explain the C in sex education.[/QUOTE]
It was because of the hepatitis...

ouch.

Did she apologize afterwards.

[QUOTE=UbikRex;992310]ouch.

Did she apologize afterwards.[/QUOTE]
Fortunately, I'm usually careful about who I date. And yes, I dated her after school ended. She was young, anyways.