Buzzkill of the Day
pseudo buzzkill - Noah took down the picture in DDT. heh.
It's pseudo, because he'll post in the future.
(please post again)
Most people take them down.
I would post, but there's just that thing about once it's on the Internet, it's there forever. And what if someone I know or future potential employers gets ahold of the picture etc...
Well there were issues with that before so yeah. Dress Down kind of sucks these days aside from those bold people who still post in there naked which is Noah mostly and Chenoa
This version of this song describes it all better than I am able. (though I don't expect anyone to listen,... )
It is James' sister not the young one that just ran off and married that ass. The other one. I posted pictures of her a couple months ago.
The one he grew up with.
The one I grew up with, since we were young teenagers. 14 and 15.
It isn't some drama again that I am bitching about... I guess I am, sort of. I mean it isn't some daily shit in my life. It is just someone who I love that lives too far away, but who I love.
We are a reflection of each other, Christina and me. She has become the depravity of everything I turned from and I am the holding up of everything she abandoned (though I cringe to say that , as I am not so great just another body trying to breathe, but according to her it is true). We even have the same number of children, the same sex and age... we have been through the same... it just hurts to watch her...
I'm really pissed off about work. I'd love to go into details, but I don't want to get into trouble. I'm just so over it.
I totally love working with the children, it's just the adults that are a pain in the arse.
We are a reflection of each other, Christina and me. She has become the depravity of everything I turned from and I am the holding up of everything she abandoned (though I cringe to say that , as I am not so great just another body trying to breathe, but according to her it is true). We even have the same number of children, the same sex and age... we have been through the same... it just hurts to watch her...
I know what it is like not being able to dislike someone because you know that you could have been them if things had gone differently.
Well apparently I am exactly like her.
It seems staying up until two drinking wine and listening to music by myself to bleed off my emotions, and posting a picture of my mid thigh and cleavage (wearing a sweater that I, you know, own and wear) to people I've know for four years is exactly the same as abandoning my children, nearly drinking myself to death, destroying my body with giant tattoos that read MAGGOT and SHIT and BURN OUT and inviting whatever strangers I met this week over for a gangbang.
Least that is what I've been told today.
.
That sucks, Amber.
I am finally going back to work today and of course I didn't sleep well last night, so I'm exhausted. I'm still not feeling all that great, but I HAVE to go to work. I want to go back to work because I've been doing nothing for so long, but I don't want to because I feel like shit and just want to go back to sleep.
"I'm glad I live in the GPS era. In a different century, I would've set off to visit the other side of the village and wandered off into the mountains and been eaten by a carnivorous plant. Or discovered the Americas."
-LaJessica
Boyfriend got hit by a car this evening. Luckily he's absolutely fine, but the front wheel of his fold-up bike isn't!
I feel sorry for him but he is an idiot and it could of been a lot worse. I've been telling him for over a year to buy a helmet (he briefly wore mine but left it on a train) and the bike has no lights. He did buy some but they broke and he's been lazy about buying replacement ones. He also left his high-visibility jacket at home this morning!
Fate?
What the hell is a fold-up bike?
"I'm glad I live in the GPS era. In a different century, I would've set off to visit the other side of the village and wandered off into the mountains and been eaten by a carnivorous plant. Or discovered the Americas."
-LaJessica
What it says on the tin.
i.e.
I hope you feel better soon Melody. Hattie, that is super scary.
My stuff, yes it sucks, but I just don't care.Not caring makes it not suck, because who cares.
When my friends need me, I'm there. When I need them, I don't say anything because I know that what they say won't make me feel better, and I don't want to burden them.
Got a text from my auntie in biology today. Morrissey cancelled the concert. A-fucking-gain. The bastard has an ulcer now. I'm still going to Atlanta though. My shrink wants to put me on anxiety meds. Today isn't my day.
@Fano
I've recently been thinking of similar things. I make friends with crazy people with crazy problems. I look back at all the things I've done for each of them. Driving over at 6am to make sure they don't kill themselves, making interventions with their parents, etc. I never had such problems, and I wonder if these people would go the extra mile for me.
Si vis pacem, para bellum
I've recently been thinking of similar things. I make friends with crazy people with crazy problems. I look back at all the things I've done for each of them. Driving over at 6am to make sure they don't kill themselves, making interventions with their parents, etc. I never had such problems, and I wonder if these people would go the extra mile for me.
It's really hard to know. The thing is, I try to tell myself that I didn't do it to build up some sort of credit to be used in the future, or whatever. But still, it's hard to avoid thinking "After everything I've done for so-and-so..."
I've learned that they don't. I doesn't matter how far you go for someone or even if you hurt yourself in the process of wanting them to be better.
They all turn away when you are suffering.
They all turn away when you are suffering.
I think I knew this, as much as I don't like the idea... But I've noticed it.
Give the meds a shot. If you don't like them you can ask to be taken off of them. Of course never stop any medication without first talking to your doctor, some of them can do bad things if you stop them abruptly.
Taking medication doesn't make you weak, it's all about recognizing and accepting your needs. Some of us need medication to maintain a normal life, some people don't. But never let anyone tell you that there is anything wrong with taking medication.
"I'm glad I live in the GPS era. In a different century, I would've set off to visit the other side of the village and wandered off into the mountains and been eaten by a carnivorous plant. Or discovered the Americas."
-LaJessica
I've been on and off medication twice, Roseate. Melody is right, there is nothing at all wrong with it. I took them when I needed to deal with things, and when I felt that I had a reached a point where I could handle things again, I stopped. It was another 3 or 4 years before I needed them again, and I was only on them for a few months the first time and about 8 months the second time.
And I find that in general, if you don't play on it to gain attention, etc, when people do find out about it, they tend to accept it or just say "Oh". I've never really had problems with people throwing there opinions at me, and it rarely comes up in conversation, so I don't think you'll have to worry about the people around you judging you.
Selfishness is the core of life, every action has selfish motives behind it.
There is nothing wrong with wishing those you stood for, those you help to stand when they couldn't, those who accepted your empathy and care and energy, would notice when you need help yourself.
Building up "credit" with those you tend to is not the selfish reason one does so, the selfish reason is the attempt to create and foster close relationships with those you find worthy of your efforts because you want to let them inside, when they refuse to see you or extend any hand when you are in need it is a rejection of you as a person, it feels like it at least. Because close relationships are essential to human survival, we are social creatures and need each other. And you are reminded that the other had ulterior selfish intentions when accepting your help, or you end up feeling like they deemed you unworthy, when it is there turn to notice your pain and need and suffering.
Even the extending of help to strangers is selfish, as it is no more than an attempt to build society, again as we are social animals that are in need of society for our own survival.
Or maybe I am full of shit.
You're not full of shit. I've seen things that way for a long time. I once even had the thought that even saints are selfish, because what they do for others makes them feel good. They feel it is a good thing and so they get satisfaction from it.
Yes, I believe that to be the truth.
Give the meds a shot. If you don't like them you can ask to be taken off of them. Of course never stop any medication without first talking to your doctor, some of them can do bad things if you stop them abruptly.
Taking medication doesn't make you weak, it's all about recognizing and accepting your needs. Some of us need medication to maintain a normal life, some people don't. But never let anyone tell you that there is anything wrong with taking medication.
I'm pretty ok with trying meds but I told my mom and she said absolutely not. I don't know if she has any jurisdiction in that though. He told me to "inform her" so I did and she FREAKED out. I don't know why. I forgot to finish the post. Her flipping out was the buzzkill.
I lost my cool today and I was a jerk. I feel bad.
I forgive you.
Give the meds a shot. If you don't like them you can ask to be taken off of them. Of course never stop any medication without first talking to your doctor, some of them can do bad things if you stop them abruptly.
Taking medication doesn't make you weak, it's all about recognizing and accepting your needs. Some of us need medication to maintain a normal life, some people don't. But never let anyone tell you that there is anything wrong with taking medication.
I'm pretty ok with trying meds but I told my mom and she said absolutely not. I don't know if she has any jurisdiction in that though. He told me to "inform her" so I did and she FREAKED out. I don't know why. I forgot to finish the post. Her flipping out was the buzzkill.
I can't say I know why she lost it, but I can say that as a mother I have never been against medicating my children if I were to find one (or more) of them needed it, but at the same it is something I always considered a last option after all other methods of helping them through whatever emotional issues they were having had been thoroughly explored. (and yes, I have had to seek counselling for one of them, and outlets for another to channel his behavior better, so this isn't coming from someone who has children that have never reached out for help before).
Maybe some perspective for you is all. Also, two of my kids are teenagers, so speaking as someone who is parenting kids around your age.
The idea of medicating your child is scary.
Give the meds a shot. If you don't like them you can ask to be taken off of them. Of course never stop any medication without first talking to your doctor, some of them can do bad things if you stop them abruptly.
Taking medication doesn't make you weak, it's all about recognizing and accepting your needs. Some of us need medication to maintain a normal life, some people don't. But never let anyone tell you that there is anything wrong with taking medication.
I'm pretty ok with trying meds but I told my mom and she said absolutely not. I don't know if she has any jurisdiction in that though. He told me to "inform her" so I did and she FREAKED out. I don't know why. I forgot to finish the post. Her flipping out was the buzzkill.
I was never on anti-depressants because my mum didn't approve. To quote her exactly: "You don't need pills for that." A few years later when I went to a different doctor she asked if I had ever been on meds and was baffled at what my mum thought.
Sometimes parents suck, Gabby.
I feel sorry for him but he is an idiot and it could of been a lot worse. I've been telling him for over a year to buy a helmet (he briefly wore mine but left it on a train) and the bike has no lights. He did buy some but they broke and he's been lazy about buying replacement ones. He also left his high-visibility jacket at home this morning!
Fate?
No way! I'm glad he's okay. Those fold-up bikes are expensive though, can he get it fixed or is it a write off?
We're taking it to one of the local bike shops tonight to have it checked out, but hopefully it's just the wheel that's damaged and he can fix it himself!
The bike is an Oyama, which is much cheaper than most fold up brands. It cost him about £200 I think, whereas my Dad's Brompton was at least double that!
Here's the model:
I think it's quite cool looking!
I like that, a lot. Some fold-ups look so naff unfolded but that one looks stylish. I want a fold-up bike. I could cut out one bus from my journey and it would be less stressful! Hate doing the 2 buses thing, one is always delayed, I spend so much time just standing around.
You should get one! 
L bought his off Amazon.
I don't really like the idea of having to shower and change at work everyday, but it would be cool not having to pay for public transport all the time.
Hattie, I would be pissed off with my boyfriend as well. Glad he's okay though!
Buzzkill: My head feels like it's about to explode. I'm hoping it's just the lack of fresh air that's killing me, and that I'll feel better the second I go outside after work.
L bought his off Amazon.
I don't really like the idea of having to shower and change at work everyday, but it would be cool not having to pay for public transport all the time.
By bike I would only have to ride for 15 minutes and it's on the river path so it's totally non stressful! Don't think I would have to shower after, I already walk 15 minutes to my first bus! It would cut my journey time in half. I bloody hate the buses. My only gripe is what do I do if it's raining? How do I not get soaked through? It's always raining =(
Yeah, I understand. She's always been really skeptical of all doctors so that's probably it. I dunno. Thank you Pepper.
Give the meds a shot. If you don't like them you can ask to be taken off of them. Of course never stop any medication without first talking to your doctor, some of them can do bad things if you stop them abruptly.
Taking medication doesn't make you weak, it's all about recognizing and accepting your needs. Some of us need medication to maintain a normal life, some people don't. But never let anyone tell you that there is anything wrong with taking medication.
I'm pretty ok with trying meds but I told my mom and she said absolutely not. I don't know if she has any jurisdiction in that though. He told me to "inform her" so I did and she FREAKED out. I don't know why. I forgot to finish the post. Her flipping out was the buzzkill.
I was never on anti-depressants because my mum didn't approve. To quote her exactly: "You don't need pills for that." A few years later when I went to a different doctor she asked if I had ever been on meds and was baffled at what my mum thought.
Sometimes parents suck, Gabby.
Funny you say that because one of the things she said was "You don't need pills for that!"
I'm sorry you had to hear that too.
Yeah, I know.
She doesn't think anxiety is a "real thing"
It really bothers me when people think those things.
.
Maybe I should lay off on the wine a little, too. 
I'm feeling very down today, and just want to go home. Being at work is probably better than sitting at home feeling depressed though.
I keep being super tired, like I went to bed at 11 and woke at 8.30. And I take a nap every day. What is wrong? I hope it's just being on holiday.
FUUUUUUU! I've just seen the first magpie. These are the most annoying birds ever to live near my building.
There was this girl I was seeing over the summer, and was pretty much exclusive with last semester before I found out I had to go to school for another semester before graduating. I had also decided not to move back home, where she is. So I let her go over winter break, but not in so many words. There was still something there. Now I found out over Facebook that there's this other guy. I feel relieved that I didn't break this girl's heart, cuz I've been trying to distance myself for a few months already, but... hm... I think I feel bad, too....... yeah....... yeah, I think I feel a little bad about it. Is it cuz I feel obligated to? I kind of think so, cuz I've clearly moved on. I never thought it was gonna be this huge thing with her, but I have been wearing this bracelet she made me since the summer (it's the kind that doesn't come off). I might just get rid of it, but I love the colors. Is that fucked up of me? To go through something like that with someone and not feel weird about the things that are clearly tied to what we had? Yeah, I think I've got some issues. I've got trouble attaching to things and people, I guess.
Si vis pacem, para bellum
I think I've already talked about my commitment issues on here.
Si vis pacem, para bellum
Oh no, did something happen?
Hugs!
I hope you feel better Imke.
Isaac, this is hard for me to say (god, I need to learn it myself) sometimes you have to drop the "I think" part before the "I feel" part and just go ahead and, you know, feel. Without thinking about it (analysing it), then you can figure out what it is you need to be really thinking about. If that makes sense?
Look at all my own understatements.